Consummate Love: Can MegaDating Help You Find it?

what is consummate love

Let’s face it – we live in a world of fairy tales. When we are growing up, we see Disney movies and see all sorts of movies that depict “perfect love.”

Then we become adults, experience relationships of our own, and reality hits us in the face. Maybe this “perfect love” is just something that exists in the movies. Or is it?

Is there such a thing as perfect love? Is it a myth or does it really exist? That is a question that so many of us ponder on a daily basis.

Some may believe that it doesn’t exist, and think that the people who think it does have their heads in the clouds. However, according to Dr. Robert Sternberg of Yale University, it actually does exist.

Okay, to be fair, he doesn’t exactly call it “perfect love.” He has a fancier term for it: consummate love. So, let’s take a look at what it looks like in real life.

What is Consummate Love?

In essence, consummate love is what we all think of as “perfect love.” It’s the kind of love where everything really just works. Everything in the relationship seems to be aligned and moves along smoothly and happily.

Isn’t that the type of love we are all looking for?

Even if you answered “yes” to that question, you might still be skeptical that you’ll ever find it – even after hearing that a Yale professor has proven it can exist.

It’s likely to say that not many of us have actually experienced this kind of love. In fact, if you look around at most people you know, you will find that there are many problems in their relationships, and that probably doesn’t equal consummate love.

For example, I know a lot of people who are in sexless marriages. Or people who are best friends, but probably don’t have a lot of passion for each other. And yet other people seem to have casual relationships – either short or long-term – that just seem to lack that commitment.

If most people are honest about what’s working and what isn’t working in their relationships, you’ll probably find that more often than not, they do not have consummate love.

But don’t get cynical just yet – there is hope! Just as you can find plenty of couples who don’t have the perfect kind of love, there some who do. Just look at some public figures.

Take, for example, former U.S. Presidents Ronald Reagan and George Bush. After their passing, the world learned of their great love stories. We heard of the love letters they wrote to each other up to the very end.

Now, I’m not saying that they probably didn’t have their share of problems, because everyone does. But, it seems that overall, they probably had the consummate type of love we are all looking for.

Let’s dive a little deeper and see what components actually make up this type of love, and what you should be looking for in your future relationship.

What is The Triangular Theory of Love?

As I mentioned above, the term “consummate love” just basically refers to a very high quality of love. It’s the love we all dream of.

That sounds great, but what does it actually mean? What are the components of it, and how can we recognize it?

Dr. Sternberg developed a theory regarding consummate love called The Triangular Theory of Love. After we discuss it, you’ll see that it’s actually pretty simple. Well, it’s simple to define, but for a lot of people, it’s not so simple to find.

The Triangular Theory of love involves three components:

  1. Intimacy:

 Usually when we hear the word “intimacy,” we think physical intimacy. However, intimacy means a lot more than that. Yes, it involves the physical aspect. However, emotional intimacy is also a vital part of the equation.

For example, perhaps someone meets someone at a bar one night. They talk, they’re attracted to each other, and they end up becoming lovers. That’s physical intimacy. But perhaps outside of the bedroom, they have nothing in common. Nothing to talk about. Well, that’s not full intimacy.

But when you have the physical connection AND the emotional connection, that is real intimacy. You feel both physically, emotionally, and even mentally in tune with your partner. It’s the closeness, connectedness, and bond you feel between the two of you.

  1. Passion:

Again, when many people hear the word “passion,” they think of physical intimacy. And that is absolutely true, at least according to this theory. However, it goes beyond that as well. Yes, passion is sexual and romantic. It is a fire in your heart or your soul. It is something that can be overwhelming for some people.

While that is great, sometimes passion can fizzle. It can fizzle quickly, or it could fizzle out slowly. If it does fizzle, then it won’t end up being consummate love.

An example of when passion fizzles out quickly is in the early stages of a relationship. If you’ve never heard of the term “love bombing,” well, it can apply here. Love bombing is when one person just showers the other with attention, compliments, and everything passionate and romantic. As great as that sounds, the flame often goes out relatively quickly.

The passion may even last quite a bit longer – months, years, or even decades. But if the flame goes out, then consummate love is probably not in the cards.

  1. Commitment:

Commitment is when you are “all in.” It’s the decision to be with your partner long-term. You aren’t going anywhere. You are determined to make the relationship work, come hell or high water.

It’s sad to say, but our modern society seems to lack a lot of commitment anymore. Gone are the days when people got married – and stayed married – for life. With the divorce rate hovering around 50%, we can see that not many people value commitment anymore.

But in order to have consummate love, you need to be “all in.” And not just one person – BOTH people. You can’t have a one-sided relationship. You can’t have one person committed and the other person only partially committed. It won’t work that way.

Consummate Love, The Triangular Theory of Love, and Why They are Important

As I said earlier, those components of love seem quite simple, right? Yes… in theory. But most of us only find some combination of these components of The Triangular Theory. And when we do, that morphs into different kinds of love. So, let’s take a look at the types of love many people have that falls short of consummate love.

  1. Non-love:

This isn’t really even “love” as we think of it. This non-love is more of the kind of feeling we feel for casual acquaintances. We think they’re nice, but they have no significance in our lives, and probably never will.

  1. Liking:

Again, most people wouldn’t classify this as “love,” but according to this theory, it is. Liking is a feeling of closeness to someone, but you have no physical attraction or commitment at all. Think of the kind of feelings that you have a for a friend of the opposite sex that you don’t find attractive.

  1. Infatuated Love:

This is kind of a “puppy love” sort of feeling. It’s the crush you have one someone, and the butterflies you feel in your stomach when you are with them. It’s infatuation. It’s extreme physical attraction and passion.

  1. Romantic Love:

Similar to infatuated love, romantic love involves intimacy and passion. However, it has more physical intimacy than emotional intimacy. Even if it does involve some emotional intimacy, it lacks commitment. Either one or both partners lack the interest or ability to take it to the next level of being “all in.”

  1. Companionate Love:

You probably know people in this type of relationship. They are probably best friends and enjoy each other’s company a lot. They are great companions (hence the term “companionate love”). They have intimacy and commitment to each other, but they lack physical passion. However, for whatever reason, they have decided that companionship was more important than intense sexual attraction.

  1. Fatuous Love:

This kind of love is particularly susceptible to develop into a toxic relationship. The partners have a lot of physical passion for one another and even commitment to the relationship. However, there is no intimacy. There could be physical intimacy, but there is no emotional intimacy. In this kind of relationship, it’s very difficult to develop trust.

  1. Empty Love:

Sadly, there are many kinds of people in this kind of relationship. It’s a “love” where people are committed to each other, but they have no passion or intimacy. It’s like they are roommates and nothing more. There is no sex, and there is no emotional connection.

  1. Consummate Love:

As you can see from the above definitions, all of these kinds of love lack something. They lack one of the three vital components of love – passion, intimacy, and commitment. But consummate love has all of them. Yes, it seems simple, but as you read above, unfortunately, most people fall short of finding it.

Consummate Love and How MegaDating Can Help You Find it

You may feel hopeful – or even ready to give up on love– after reading about The Triangular Theory of love and how it leads to consummate love. Hopefully, you are not feeling frustrated because the intention here is to make you feel optimistic about finding this kind of love.

So, how can you do it?

If you’ve read other articles on this website, you know that we talk about MegaDating quite a bit. Just in case you need a refresher about what that means, it is simply going out on a LOT of dates. As many as possible.

You might think that sounds counter-intuitive to finding consummate love. I see why you would think that. How would dating as many people as possible ever lead you to find perfect love? How can casually meeting all these people lead to anything but something casual?

Let me first state that when I say to MegaDate, I don’t mean go around and sleep with a lot of people. That is far from what I am suggesting. In fact, it’s just the opposite.

The point of MegaDating is to meet as many people as you can. You see, dating is a numbers game. You will not find your Ms. Right on the first date. And if you do, you are probably the luckiest guy on earth!

As the saying goes, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your princess. And I don’t even mean that literally. I actually think you shouldn’t kiss any of them until a certain point.

The point I am trying to make is that when you meet as many people as possible, you are broadening your chances of finding someone that you have passion, intimacy, and commitment with.

Obviously, you won’t know if all three components are there on the first date – or even the second, third, or fourth. It varies for everyone. But it will give you the opportunity to find someone with whom you can connect on all three levels.

20 Dates In 90 Days

MegaDating is dating around with intent. More specifically, we give our students the goal of going on 20 dates in 90 days.

Going on 20 dates in 90 days allows you to compare and contrast singles, boost your dating confidence, refine your dating skills, prevent you from settling, and, most importantly, is a shortcut to finding not just a partner but your consummate love.

There are two major hurdles I see students run into when finding a partner.

One of them is they can’t find enough dates with high-quality people. And the second is that they feel the need to shack up with the first person who looks their way.

MegaDating solves this by showing you how to mine social channels to find dates. It also protects you from oneitis by exposing you to a myriad of singles. If you think your options are limited, it’s easy to settle for the first person you date. Going on a bunch of dates proves that the opposite sex is into you and that you don’t need to rush anything.

Next Steps

Now that you know what it takes to make a relationship work long-term, why not give MegaDating and dating coaching a shot? You can’t find where you want to go without a road map, and both of these tools will help you get there.

When you join our program, Dating Decoded, you’ll receive in-depth training on the ins and outs of modern dating. You’ll learn via weekly live coaching sessions, our online curriculum, mock dates, and through the support and on-demand advice found in our lifetime community.

Not to mention the team of coaches you’ll have working beside you. 

Trust me, knowing what to look for in a partner is half the battle. Most people are just letting the wind blow them in any direction. But that won’t help you find consummate love. Use this – and me – as a guide toward your happily ever after.

too picky

Bumble vs Tinder: Which is Better for You?

bumble versus tinder

Bumble vs Tinder: Want to know which is better for you? Vanilla versus chocolate. Star Wars versus Star Trek. Dark meat versus white meat. Bumble vs Tinder.

When it comes to the great online dating app debate, are you more of a Bumble or Tinder person?

Bumble and Tinder are two of the arguably most popular dating apps. And although Tinder is the first dating app to make swiping right and left mainstream, Bumble has definitely made a major name for itself. But when it comes to finding romantic success via app, which is better for you?

In this article, I’ll provide you with everything you need to know when it comes to making an informed decision. But first, a bit more about Bumble and Tinder.

What is Bumble?

Bumble is a free dating app. If you want to download Bumble, all you need to do is go to the App store and download it to access it on your phone. You can swipe through different profiles to get matches and — once matched — you can start conversations with different singles.

One thing that sets Bumble apart from its competitors is that it takes on a ladies first approach. With Bumble, your female matches are required to make the first move. A woman must initiate a conversation via Bumble’s messaging system to allow the two of you to interact.

What is Tinder?

Like Bumble, Tinder is free and can be easily downloaded via the App store. It’s the first dating app that brought dating apps for heterosexual singles into the mainstream.

With Tinder, you simply swipe right on the profiles of singles you’re interested in or left if you’re not interested. When there’s a mutual right swipe, you or your match can choose to start a conversation via Tinder’s messaging system.

Hookups versus Relationship-oriented Singles

So when it comes to Bumble versus Tinder, which is better for you?

Well, in a way, it depends on what you’re looking for. Do you want a hookup or a casual dating partner? Or, are you a relationship-oriented person who wants to find a long term girlfriend?

If you just want something casual, Tinder may be the better bet. Although it is not explicitly geared toward noncommittal folks, Tinder has garnered a reputation as being more hookup-friendly than some of its competitors.

Bumble’s founder originally marketed Bumble as being a more female-friendly app that staves off creepers and offers women a higher quality selection of men. For that reason, you may be more likely to find other relationship-minded singles on Bumble.

Is Tinder All Sleaze?

No. If you’re a relationship-oriented person, you don’t necessarily need to scratch Tinder off your list of dating apps to use. But because Tinder is pretty much “anything goes” when it comes to who can create a profile and what people are looking for, there tends to be a higher percentage of sleaze. And for that reason, women may be a bit hesitant about the app.

However, if you’re looking for a relationship, you can actually use this to your advantage. When a woman is exhausted from swiping left on tons of creepy (albeit, hilarious) Tinder profiles, seeing a nice, normal guy is refreshing. This can actually set you apart more easily than apps like Bumble, where a high percentage of guys are of quality.

If you want to optimize your success and avoid unintentional sleaze, check out my article, 17 Tinder Profiles for Guys to Help You Look Less Sleazy.

Bumble vs Tinder: Breaking the Ice

As far as breaking the ice, the rules differ when it comes to Bumble and Tinder. In a way, a conversation can be much easier on Tinder.

If you’re a guy who is armed with great Tinder icebreakers, it can be easy to initiate conversation. Anyone can start a conversation once they match on Tinder, but women tend to prefer the man make the first move. And for that reason, I always suggest that you reach out to a woman with a great, witty opening line after matching with her on Tinder.

But with Bumble, women make the first move. Although this relieves a little pressure for guys, it can also make things a bit awkward.

Because women are not socialized to make the first move, they tend to have way less experience when it comes to a good dating approach. For this reason, you’ll often be left with a boring “Hi,” “Hey,” or “How are you?” as an opening message on Bumble. It can be hard to build rapport if you simply respond with an equally boring response. So what do you do?

How to Respond to a Woman’s First Message on Bumble

Remember that a lack of personality during an initial message doesn’t mean that the woman in question is actually boring; she simply hasn’t garnered the experience (and hasn’t been required to make certain efforts) that guys have.

If a woman sends something boring like “Hi,” you can challenge her playfully by saying something like “Try again ;)” or “You seem like way too much fun to start off a convo with little more than a ‘hello.’ Wanna give that opener another shot? ;)” When you’re playful — as opposed to sarcastic or pushy — it builds chemistry and encourages flirtation. Here’s an article for more great ideas on how to respond to a woman’s first message on Bumble.

Bumble Key Features

So, we already know that women have to message first, but what else makes Bumble unique?

When it comes to building a profile, Bumble allows you to:

  • Answer up to 3 prompts
  • Connect your IG and Spotify
  • Add “basic information” as well as info on your interests and languages spoken

Bumble wins the battle when it comes to who offers a better profile to showcase who you are.

Bumble also has anti-ghosting features that will remind you to message users back, allows you to send compliments (message a user prior to matching), and in-depth search filters that comb through people who are compatible when it comes to child-bearing preferences, education, politics, exercise habits, height, and more.

tinder v bumbletinder v bumble

Other notable features include:

  • Travel mode
  • Beeling (to see who has liked you)
  • Backtrack
  • Rematch
  • Spotlight
  • Super swipes
  • Ingonito mode (only be seen by those that you’ve already liked)

Tinder Key Features

Tinder has considerably fewer notable features than Bumble.

Here are some features worth noting:

  • Travel mode
  • Priority likes
  • Super likes
  • Rewind
  • Boost
  • Top picks
  • See people who have already liked you

Pretty much every feature Tinder has Bumble has as well. All in all Bumble has more features than Tinder.

Tinder has few if any profile features worth noting.

Bumble versus Tinder: Expectations for Dates

Just as Bumble and Tinder have garnered slightly different reputations (Bumble is more relationship-oriented and Tinder is more hookup-oriented), the expectations for dates can be different. Women on Tinder may expect little more than an invitation to “hang out” or “grab a drink,” while women on Bumble have higher standards when it comes to the date invitation.

But here’s the thing. No matter what the expectation is, if you want to attract women and find a long-term compatible partner, your dating approach should be the same regardless of which app you’re using. How?

Hone in on Shared Interests

Whether you’re using Bumble or Tinder, make sure that you check out your matches’ profiles to figure out her interests. And if her profile is sparse, use the first few lines of conversation to figure out what she likes to do for fun and what you may have in common.

Once you’ve figured that out, you can knock her socks off with a wonderful date idea that uses a TDL.

What is a TDL?

A TDL is an acronym we here at EmLovz use to describe a date’s call-to-action.

It stands for time, date, and location.

When you ask a girl out, you want to have a clear schedule in mind in order to take the guesswork out of when, where and how. Women will appreciate your initiative and great planning. Moreover, the fact that you took time to create a specific date plan shows that you are considerate of her and have paid attention to her interests.

Craft a Compelling Date Idea

Craft your TDL around a compelling date idea. A compelling date idea is something that adheres to shared interests while also introducing someone to a new experience.

For example, let’s say that your date loves cats and coffee. Take her to a cat cafe and enjoy bonding over some cool, adoptable kitties.

Make Sure Your Online Dating Profile is Stellar

Whether you choose to use Bumble or Tinder, you need to make sure that your profile stands out. For all their pros, online dating apps tend to encourage a limited attention span. Women want to get in as many swipes as possible and don’t feel like ruminating over a single profile.

For that reason, make sure that your photos are on point. No, photos aren’t the only thing that matter when it comes to your profile on Bumble or Tinder, but they are the first thing a user sees. You want to knock it out of the park when it comes to your first impression, so make sure your photos are attractive, intriguing and current.

For in-depth tips on knocking it out of the part with the perfect pics, check out my article, Top 5 Online Dating Photo Tips for Men Who Want More Matches.

But you don’t want to stop at your photos. To optimize your online dating success, make sure you do the following:

  • Craft a compelling, concise bio that mentions your passions and nerdy interests; things that make you unique; positivity and humor. For some examples, check out my other article on the best Bumble bios for guys. 
  • Think about your preferred distance and increase that by 10-15 miles if you live in a city and 30-40 miles if you live in a county or rural environment. This will increase your number and quality of matches.
  • If you don’t have a preferred age range — or haven’t had a lot of experience dating women younger or older than you — get outside of your comfort zone by widening your age preferences on your profile. There can be a lot of benefits of dating both younger or older women, as well as those your age. Basically, keep your options open so you can get as many matches and enjoy as many informative dating experiences as possible.
  • Connect your Instagram and Spotify accounts to your profile. This gives women a broader picture of who you are and shows that you have nothing to hide

Bumble versus Tinder: Which is Better for You?

So now that you understand the differences between Bumble and Tinder, which is better for you? Which one should you choose?

Well, honestly, I recommend you download both apps to maximize your success. Even if you end up liking one more than the other, putting yourself out there in multiple ways gives you more opportunities to meet quality, attractive singles.

Along with Bumble and Tinder, consider downloading apps like Coffee Meets Bagel, Hinge, The Tonight Dating app and more.

But you should also look for love away from your smartphone screen. Want some ideas? Check out my article, What’s the Best Way to Meet Women in Real Life?

When you tackle the dating landscape from a variety of angles, it’s easier to date multiple people at the same time. And dating people concurrently is one of the best strategies when it comes to avoiding the friendzone and ultimately finding a long-term, compatible partner. This dating process is known as MegaDating.

Why is MegaDating Effective?

During my 100-date experiment, I used MegaDating as my main strategy. By the end of my experiment, I had increased my confidence and found lasting love with a compatible partner. Years later, we’re still going strong. MegaDating worked for me and it can work for you too!

So why is MegaDating effective? MegaDating allows you to see firsthand that there are plenty of fish in the sea. This encourages an abundance mindset, where the world is your oyster. When you MegaDate and see the dating landscape as one of abundance, you avoid settling for the mediocre and chasing after women who ultimately put you in the friendzone.

MegaDating also increases confidence and decreases anxiety. When you MegaDate, you’re constantly approaching women and practicing your dating approach. Because practice makes perfect, MegaDating allows you to become really good at asking women out and going on dates. And because you’ll be hanging out with multiple women at the same time the pain of things like rejection is lessened.

Ready to get started?

Turn Dating Stress Into Dating Success

Regardless of the dating app or apps you choose to use we’ll help you get the most out of them. When you learn how to use the apps you’ll be able to find enough singles to go on 20 dates in 90 days with. 

Going on 20 dates in 90 days will give you ample potential partners to compare and contrast so you can refine not only your dating skills but also who your ideal partner is.

To teach you how to quickly find a highly compatible partner in just weeks and become the most eligible single in town you’ll team up with romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.

Our Team

  • Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host coaching sessions every week
  • Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
  • Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists for men. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
  • Darshil is our mock date coach for women. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
  • Renee is our anxiety dating coach. As a licensed therapist she knows the steps needed to turn you into a cool, calm, and collected dater
  • Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
  • Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
  • Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting singles online

Our Community

And look, we realize that being single can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded you’d be joining a community of supportive singles and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.

Our program offers every student a lifetime membership, so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.

If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. 

bumble v tinder

Best Jewish Dating Sites and Apps for Men Who Want Marriage

best jewish dating sites for men

Are you looking for the best Jewish dating sites and apps that can effectively connect you with compatible partners?

While apps like Bumble and Tinder dominate the mainstream world of online dating, I understand that many singles desire niche apps and sites tailored to their needs. As a dating coach, I work with many Jewish males who are looking to marry a partner that shares their faith and values.

That’s why I scoured the internet and took advantage of other resources to find the absolute best Jewish dating sites and apps for men who want marriage. Learn more about these apps and sites below. I’ll also let you in on some expert dating tips for Jewish guys at the end of the article.

Best Jewish Dating Sites #1: JDate

jewish dating sites for menOf all the Jewish dating sites and apps on this list, this is the pinnacle O.G. JDate is sort of the Match.com for Jewish singles.

It originally launched in 1997. Then, in 2011, JDate commissioned a survey which found their dating site “…is responsible for 52% of the Jewish marriages that started online.”

Wow!

In other words, any Jewish singles looking for a long term relationship that leads to marriage should give JDate some serious consideration.

Signing Up

Signing up for a free account is simple and straightforward. JDate prompts you to fill out some basics, like your name, age, and height. You’ll also be asked to go a little deeper about your religious practices, like how often you go to synagogue. From there, fill out your profile and online bio.

Free or Paid?

To take full advantage of the site and message other users, you’ll need to sign up for a paid membership plan. However, you can sign up for free if you want to get a feel for the site before committing. Prices are as follows:

  • One month: $39.99
  • Three months: $29.33 per month
  • Six months: $19.99 per month

Fun Features

One feature I like is the Secret Admirer feature. This allows you to secretly show interest in someone. If they also show interest, it’s a match! You’ll get a notification from JDate revealing your identities and romance can (hopefully) commence. You two will be matched and get a notification from JDate about the mutual interest.

Another feature is Lookbook. If you get overwhelmed viewing throngs of profiles at a time, Lookbook allows you to view only one profile at a time and “like” or “pass” from there. Feeling overwhelmed by the throngs of singles before you? The Lookbook feature allows you to view one profile at a time and “like” or “pass” on them.

#2: JSwipe

jewing dating sitesJSwipe is a free (yes, FREE!) Jewish dating app. It’s extremely easy to use. The layout and ease of use reminded me of Tinder but it’s clear that this is geared toward marriage-minded singles.

Once you link the app to your Facebook account, the app will ask you questions like “What do you identify with?” and offer answers including “Orthodox,” “Just Jewish,” “Willing to Convert” and more. Then, you’ll be prompted to answer whether or not you keep kosher and you’re off to the races!

You can then complete your bio (here’s an article for some examples of Bumble bios for men that you can get some ideas for your profile) and have the option of linking your profile to your Instagram account. I highly recommend this. Women like to gather as much information as possible about an online match before agreeing to go out with them for safety reasons. Furthermore, an Instagram account allows her to learn more about you and connect with you based on shared interests.

Known as the Jewish Tinder

JSwipe is actually owned by JDate and known as the Jewish Tinder. However, as I said, it doesn’t carry the same hookup stigma. The main thing it has in common with Tinder is that it allows you to swipe right or left on matches. Also, it’s free and easy to use.

Great for Millenials

As far as Jewish dating sites go, this one is great for Jewish singles who also happen to be millennials. A reported 90% of users are in their 20s and a growing demographic is in their mid-thirties.

#3: JWed

Are you ready to like it and put a ring on it? With “Wed” in the title, it’s no surprise that this falls under the category of great Jewish dating sites for men who want marriage.

In fact, thousands of couples who met on JWed are now married

The site launched in 2001 and has a strick “no hookups” policy.

Screening Process

The screening process ensures only Jewish singles who are looking for marriage can join. This also weeds out fake profiles and spammers.

Instead of sending people “winks” or “flirts,” JWed uses prewritten “icebreaker messages” to get a meaningful conversation starting.

Pricing

Although JWed is free, you can purchase add-ons like Super Swipes for $9.99 and a First Class subscription for $17.99.

With free apps that allow you to match and message easily, I never recommend purchasing add-ons. If you bring your A-game when it comes to crafting a great bio and writing compelling messages, you should be able to yield a lot of dates.

#4: JPeopleMeet

J People MeetJPeopleMeet has a simple and straightforward layout and is easy to use. Jewish singles can browse as many profiles as they like with a free membership but can’t communicate with other singles.

One downside is that you can’t curate matches using an advanced search function as opposed to some comparable Jewish dating sites. You can only search for other singles based on:

  • Distance
  • Activity
  • Membership type
  • Whether or not someone is currently online

Another downside is that you can only post one photo, so make it a GOOD one.

Fun Features

The ECHO feature lets you know when there’s mutual interest between you and another member. The Instant Match allows you to like people instantly based only on their photo.

I like the efficiency in the Instant Match feature but this doesn’t allow users to be wooed by a fun and witty bio. Again, make sure you have an awesome photo.

Pricing

Membership plans are available for the following prices:

  • One month: $13.99
  • Four months: $26.97 per month
  • One year: $38.94

Best Jewish Dating Site and Apps #5: JSingles

J SinglesJSingles boasts an appealing layout and is extremely easy to use. To sign up, simply enter age, gender, what you’re seeking (man or woman) and location. Email, instant chat, and advanced search options are available.

Free Option

With similar Jewish dating sites and apps that really push a paid membership program, the “free option” is normally pretty useless. The most you’ll get out of free options is browsing other profiles and getting a general feel for the site.

But the free option at JSingles allows you to chat with other singles as long as they message you first. There’s also a three-day free trial available for a scant $2.95. This allows you to take full advantage of the site to see if a paid membership would truly be worth it.

(Psst…did you know there’s a secret to getting a three-day eHarmony trial for free? Check out my article, How to Get an eHarmony Free Trial to learn more!)

Other membership plans are priced at $29.95 for one month and $39.95 for three months.

#6: JewishCafe

Jewish CafeA crisp, cozy layout works wonderfully for a site with “Cafe” in the title.

Free Three-Week Trial

Outside of the warm brown aesthetic, I love that JewishCafe offers a three-week week trial where you can post a profile and communicate with other singles. Nice!

Fun Features

The site offers questions like “what does being Jewish mean in your life?” and criteria based on faith to match you with someone who shares your values. It also posts sponsored offline events for members to meet up and connect in real life.

Drawbacks

One caveat is that JewishCafe is a bit more difficult to navigate than other Jewish dating sites. The layout is lovely but the menu is a bit convoluted.

Pricing

Membership plans are available for the following prices:

  • One month: $32.95
  • Three months: $44.95
  • Six months: $69.95
  • One year: $99.95

#7: SuperTova

SuperTovaThe first thing that struck me about SuperTova is how retro of a feel the site is. I kind of felt like I was being taken back to my MySpace days where I was picking my Top 8 and Tom kept shooting me an over-the-shoulder grin.

This site is completely free. All you need to do is fill out a form that includes first and last name, username, email, password gender and what you’re seeking.

Then you can fill out a profile, which includes sections on which country you are searching in, your appearance, bio, lifestyle, religious practices and also a bevy of interests to choose from.

The user database seems a bit sparse compared to other Jewish dating sites and Jewish dating apps. But at absolutely no cost, even if this doesn’t become your favorite site for Jewish singles, you’ve really got nothing to lose.

#8: Forj

ForJThis fun and free app has a lovely blue layout. It’s extremely easy to use but extremely in-depth when it comes to setting up your profile.

A Siri-enabled prompt asks a series of questions to personalize a profile for you. The prompt asks questions like:

  • “Are you excited to be on another app?”
  • “How has your dating experience been so far?”
  • “Are you ready to find a real relationship with someone who is highly compatible for you?”

After you and the prompt are done getting to know each other so to speak, a series of prompts require you to select from a variety of answer on what you’d consider an ideal partner. You can select attributes based on career, communication, religious orientation, sense of humor and more.

After a few rounds of personalized questions on what you’re looking for in a mate and what an ideal mate should know about you, you’re ready to browse potential matches. The really fun thing about this app is that a perfectly personalized bio is created based on your answers.

Best Jewish Dating Sites and Apps #9: JCrush

jewish datingJCrush is an app geared more toward marriage-minded Jewish singles. However, it has a bit of a latent hookup vibe, where those looking to simply get casual are more than welcome.

Getting started is easy. Simply download the app and you’ll be prompted to choose from a menu of answers based on the question, “How would you describe yourself?” Answers include “Jewish,” “Conservative,” “Spiritual,” and more. From there, fill out your bio, add pictures, location and connect your Instagram if you like.

VIP Plan

Although the app is free and you can browse and chat, VIP plans are available for the following prices:

  • One month: $14.99
  • Three months: $29.99 or $9.99 per month
  • Six months: $39.99 or $6.66 per month

This plan allows you to have your profile featured first, avoid ads, go back and see your list of No’s (or “oy veys”) and choose unlimited likes or “crushes.”

As I’ve said before, I don’t encourage paying for these types of features on a free app because if you follow my expert strategies, you shouldn’t have a problem getting some great dates out of these apps.

And with that in mind, let’s take a look at some ways you can optimize your success on Jewish dating sites and apps, shall we?

Best Jewish Dating Sites and Apps #10: Bumble

I know, I know, it’s not a niche dating app; however, it is the second most popular dating app in the country.

Due to its sheer volume Bumble is bound to have oodles of Jewish users. The millions of US users on its platform means that it has one of the largest singles Jewish dating pools you’ll find online.

But how do you find these Jewish singles?

There are a couple ways.

For way you can broadcast that you are Jewish by filling in religion portion of your profile as well as writing as much in your bio. To find users you can comb through the app looking for other singles that signaled they too are Jewish.

However, this isn’t the quickest way to find singles who share your faith.

The easiest way to do so is by using advanced filters that allow you to search via religion. best jewish dating sites

This, however, is a paid feature. To use it you’ll have to pay between $27.99 for a week or $109.99 for three months. You could always buy the lifetime membership for $269.99.

Before paying for any membership, we recommend optimizing your profile. Once you start attracting users via the free version, you can then use a paid membership to increase your odds of finding the one further.

A paid membership alone won’t magically help you get more matches. First optimize, then consider a paid membership.

Best Jewish Dating Sites and Apps #11: Hinge

HingeX

Hinge is maybe the third most popular dating app in The States, and no it’s not a religious-specific application.

What it is, is a dating app “designed to be deleted,” at least that’s what Hinge says.

They back up this motto with a few anti-fuck boy features.

For one, the free version of the app allows you to swipe only 10 times a day, so you’ll have to be judicious with your swipes.

It also uses an algorithm that puts you on a collision course with users the app deems you compatible with. Not to mention you have access to a wealth of profile features you can use to display your personality and the ability to comment on someone’s profile before matching.

It’s these features paired with the fact that most users want a serious relationship makes this app a solid choice for Jewish singles looking for a LTR.

And just like Bumble you can use search filters to search for only Jewish singles. The difference is that this search filter is offered for free in Hinge.

best jewish dating apps

Online Dating Tip #1: Make Sure Your Photos Stand Out

No matter what site or app you’re using, you need to bring your A-game when it comes to photos. Although you shouldn’t rely solely on photos, they’re a big deciding factor for women on whether or not to match/message you.

Choose high-quality, current pictures. Make your first photos a close-cropped, attractive headshot. Smile in your photos and make good eye contact with the camera. Don’t post shirtless pics, angry pictures of anything that makes you look sleazy.

Also, post shots of you doing something you’re passionate about (like fishing or art), pictures of you with friends and other things that let ladies know you’re a fun time.

For in-depth tips, check out Top 5 Online Dating Photo Tips for Men Who Want More Matches.

Tip #2: Craft a Compelling Bio

Make sure that you craft a concise, compelling bio that represents you in a positive light. Don’t write a novel that encapsulates every turning point and life lesson you’ve encountered in your personal trajectory thus far — remember that the internet and apps encourage short attention spans and she’s not going to want to read through all that.

A successful bio includes the following:

  • Your passions and nerdy interests
  • What makes you unique
  • A few emojis peppered throughout if appropriate
  • Positivity
  • Humor

Tip #3: Fill Out Your Entire Profile

Don’t leave anything blank on your profile. Women want to gather as much information as possible. If you leave anything blank it can sometimes come across like you have something to hide.

Tip #4: Find and Mention Shared Interests

When you connect with a woman online, it’s important to find shared interests you can discuss. This is the first step in building trust and rapport.

Once you’ve established shared interests and exchanged a few lines of banter don’t wait to set up a date. And if you want the highest chance of success, make the date idea a compelling one that has a clear TDL.

What is a TDL?

A TDL is an acronym that stands for “time, date, and location” and it is the call-to-action that will compel a girl to agree to go out with you. Here’s an example of a good use of TDL:

“I think that’s really awesome you’re interested in Vegan cooking. There’s a great preview class held at Cozymeal each Saturday. How would you like to meet me there around 11 am this week?”

The above is an awesome example because — not only does it cater to her interests and offer her a new experience — it lets her know the exact time, date and location of the event. This way, she won’t have to worry about going back and forth with you over text, trying to lock down a specific plan or figure out a time to meet that works for both of you.

Tip #5: Don’t Rely Solely on One Dating Site or App

Finally, don’t dedicate all your efforts to one single dating site or app. You want to make sure you download at least a few of these Jewish dating apps and sites and consider signing up for a paid version to increase your chances of success. Moreover, focus on practicing your dating approach outside of apps and websites.

Meet women in the real world by going to events, getting set up by friends and joining Meetup.com groups.

When you put yourself out there in a variety of ways, you’ll end up dating women concurrently. This strategy is known as MegaDating.

What is MegaDating?

MegaDating is a dating strategy that involves dating several different people at the same time in order to diffuse energy by keeping your calendar full.

Now, if you’re a marriage-minded person, you may be wondering if MegaDating is counterintuitive. Doesn’t dating more than one person at once make you a player?

The thing is, MegaDating has nothing to do with going behind someone’s back or sleeping around. In fact, you don’t have to bring sex into the equation at all until you’ve found “the one.” MegaDating is simply about decreasing anxiety and increasing confidence by opening yourself to different experiences with a bunch of interesting people.

Moreover, because MegaDating shows you that there truly is a lot of fish in the sea, you avoid chasing after women who will friendzone you or settling for the mediocre.

During my 100-date experiment, I used MegaDating as my main dating strategy. It helped me find a long-term, compatible partner and it can do the same for you. Ready to learn more?

Find Your Person

When you join emlovz you’ll have a community of coaches and students to help you learn the ins and outs of dating as a Jewish single.

You’ll learn how to navigate the singles scene via our weekly live classes, online curriculum, mock dates, and via one-on-one coaching sessions with our team of coaches.

Book a call now so we can learn more about you, your dating goals, and how we can help you achieve them.