Have you been hearing crickets every time you open dating apps like Tinder or Bumble? Do you find yourself swiping and liking until your fingers hurt, only to get nothing back? Lots of my male clients I talk to find themselves frustrated by their lack of success using dating apps. This is often not so much to do with a lack of trying, but a lack of knowledge on certain key strategies to use in order to appeal to women on dating apps.
Women never have a problem getting messages when it comes to online dating. In fact, being bombarded with messages can be one reason you get radio silence even after matching with a woman. In this article, I’ll let you in on the secrets to getting more woman to swipe right on your Bumble and Tinder profiles. But first, let’s gain a little more insight on these apps.
Stigmas, Statistics, and Studies
Tinder, though popular, has caused some wariness in certain singles looking for long-term relationships. The original right- or left-swipe app has been viewed as more of a virtual path to someone’s bedroom than an actual date. But men downloading Tinder for a hit it and quit it situation may be surprised to learn that doing this isn’t necessarily increasing their chances of having a one night stand.
Despite Tinder being viewed as more of a hookup app, research has also shown that people using the app don’t generally enjoy more casual sex than those that choose to take a swing on their own out at bars and other social events. This is good news for those looking to find a long-term relationship, as you can still bank on a good number of singles hoping for more than a hookup when using Tinder as a tool to find potential partners.
When it comes to a propensity to swipe right, women are far more selective on apps like Tinder, according to statistics. Also, a whopping 91% of women choose to swipe right on profiles based exclusively on attraction, whereas 75% of men will swipe based on attraction. And 35% of men will casually like profiles even if they don’t immediately grab a woman’s attention (versus virtually 0% for women).
What this means, basically, is that if you’re trying to match with a woman on Tinder, you better be prepared to bring your A-game.
As for Bumble, this app has less of a stigma attached to it, being that Bumble puts women in the driver’s seat when it comes to matches. Only women can initiate conversations on Bumble once you match, which can supposedly keep the creep-factor down when it comes to a woman’s inbox.
This type of thinking also seems to make women a little less wary to click a “like” button when it comes to apps like Bumble, with statistics showing that women average 10 matches per month on the app and men averaging eight matches. These same statistics also showed that women tended to like profiles that had a minimum of six photos.
So what does this mean for you, as a man looking for a long-term partner while using apps like Tinder and Bumble?
For Tinder, if you’re not being creepy and can stand out with a compelling profile and good photos, you’re ahead of the game.
For Bumble, you’re in good company as far as people using an app for relationship purposes. However, this also means that you might have greater competition, being that Bumble is statistically not as occupied by people looking for casual hookups as Tinder. You also need to be sure to craft a compelling response to a woman’s first message on Bumble, rather than focus on a good opener.
If that sounds intimidating, don’t worry. Below are 13 of my expert tips on how to get more women to swipe right on your Tinder or Bumble profile.
Tip #1: Look Happy in Your Photos
Let me put it to you this way: Feed ducks at the pond, but don’t do a duck face. The exception to this rule would be if you dressed up as Derek Zoolander at a Halloween party and are doing your best Blue Steel. But still, save that photo for later.
Similarly, don’t use photos where your resting face is a serial killer. For some reason, a lot of guys on both apps seem to think that the cold, vacant stare is what women are into so I am here to assure you that it is most certainly not. Unless you’re literally a shark (like, the toothy fish that starred in the movie Jaws, among others) and you are on a shark app trying to hook up with some cute hammerhead or tiger shark, then you are allowed to have dead eyes, but otherwise, lighten up.
Make sure that your photos — particularly you main photo — are forward facing and are of you smiling. Women want to feel safe when they’re putting themselves out there on a dating app and if you look nice and positive in your pictures it will make her more likely to swipe right.
Here’s an example of a great Bumble profile for guys that lays out a set of fantastic pictures.
Tip #2: Wear Clothing in Your Photos
Even if you have a rocking bod, you don’t need to turn your Tinder bios or Bumble profiles into a gallery of shirtlessness. And please, enough with the gym selfies. A lot of us go to the gym — it doesn’t make you stand out.
When you post shirtless selfies or ones of your getting swoll at the gym, it comes off like you’re trying too hard or are self-absorbed. If you’ve got a really sculpted body, she will be able to tell based on any picture showing your arms or torso as long as you are wearing something slightly fitted.
Tip #3: Don’t Be Negative
One of the biggest turn-offs when it comes to dating apps is a tagline that basically states one of the following:
- You basically consider dating — particularly online dating — to be a total chore.
- You consider this profile a waste of your time.
- You think all girls are “on this thing looking for jacked dudes.”
No woman wants to swipe right on the guy that complains about being on a dating app while she’s on said app.
In fact, she may end up deleting her app based on you alone.
Women will want to swipe right on a guy who is optimistic and exudes a vibe that he is ready to have fun and treat dating like an opportunity rather than a chore.
Tip #4: Use Humor
If you’re funny, show off your sense of humor in your bio. This automatically makes you stand out among other guys. If you’re not confident in your sense of humor, use a funny quote from your favorite movie and tv show and then augment that with some unique facts/interests. Making her laugh while she’s viewing your profile is super important!
Tip #5: Embrace Your Nerdy Interests
If you’re a die-hard Harry Potter fan or have a hidden talent that involves legos, mention it in your bio. The first date is all about building trust and rapport, and rapport comes from shared interests. If you point out things that you are passionate about, it’s more likely that a woman who would be compatible with you will swipe right.
Tip #6: Don’t Write an Essay
No woman wants to feel like she’s been given a completed SAT Writing prompt when she’s trying to find a guy to go out with.
Make sure that you mention cool stuff about yourself, but don’t add so much information that she can’t digest it during moments she’s bored at a work meeting or taking a quick break.
Remember that dating apps can be kind of like Facebook or Twitter in that people are usually checking them here and there throughout the day. If she wants to read a novel, she can curl up with her Kindle.
Don’t be her Kindle.
Tip #7: Avoid Coming Across as Generic
Do you like sports, food, having a job and working car, paying rent/a mortgage, and tasty beverages? AWESOME! So does everyone.
Don’t state the obvious in your profile and when it comes to likes/passions and don’t pick things that are a given.
You want to stand out from other guys, so if you pick something like sports or food as a passion, get a little more specific.
Are you a foodie who can make a kick-ass sesame shrimp slaw? Mention it.
Do you have a funny story about your favorite sports team or do you play a sport not many people have heard of? Mention it.
Give something to the woman that can start a conversation rather than giving her something generic.
Here’s an article on creating a good tinder bios for men to help you get more matches and responses.
Tip #8: Use Emojis Where Appropriate
Peppering a few emojis into your profile can lighten the mood and make you come off as fun. But only use them when appropriate. If you string a bunch of nonsensical emojis together, you will come off as a weirdo and she is liable to give you a hard left swipe.
Add an emoji of a beer pitcher or wine glass next to a statement about you being a beer or wine connoisseur; place an emoji of a plane or palm tree next to a statement about why you love traveling. Don’t place a winking ghost emoji (by the way, those have a way of ALWAYS making you look a bit off for some reason), a dog face emoji and an eggplant next to an anecdote about that one time you tried zip-lining.
Tip #9: Use Your Other Social Media Accounts to Your Advantage
Both Tinder and Bumble offer the option of connecting your Instagram and/or Spotify accounts to your profile. If you don’t have Instagram or Spotify accounts already, I would highly recommend creating those accounts.
Instagram is a great way to get more matches because it gives women more insight into your life outside of the dating app. Make sure that you post plenty of fun pictures with friends and images of cool things you like to do, like travel play sports or cool spots you find out in nature when hiking or camping.
When women are able to view public Instagram accounts, it indicates that you’re an open book, i.e., a normal human being that isn’t going to try to do anything creep-tastic on the date. The world is littered with creeps, and chances are the women looking to swipe on Tinder and Bumble have been out with at least a few of them. Making her feel safe and secure about starting an interaction with you is always a good thing.
Spotify is awesome as well because it offers an opportunity — even before the two of you start talking — to bond over musical interests or discover some bands you hadn’t heard of before.
Tip #10: Avoid Things Like “Super Likes” and “Super Swiping”
Carly Rae Jepsen enlisted the help of Tom Hanks in her music video expressing the feelings you have when you really, really, really, really, really, really like someone.
That’s all well and good for the two of them, but you and I aren’t Carly Rae Jepsen or Tom Hanks and — in the world of online dating — using these features does little more than leave the woman feeling like she has the upper hand. It can even make you come off as desperate.
Moreover, things like Super Swipe on Bumble cost money. Money can’t buy love — or matches, for that matter — so you’re better off doing a standard like or right swipe and letting your well-crafted bio do the talking for you.
Tip #11: Post Nice Pictures with Family
When it comes to finding a long-term, compatible partner, women want a man they can have a great time with and also eventually bring home to their family.
Show that you’re a good choice by posting pictures of you and your parent, parents, siblings or other family members you are close to. This can be very encouraging for a woman when it comes to finding if you two are a good morals and values fit.
Offering her this tiny peek into your family life also makes it easier to start a dialogue on where each of you grew up and your relationship with your family when you are getting to know each other by asking questions during the first three dates.
Tip #12: When in Doubt, Post a Pic With a Cute Animal
It doesn’t even have to be your own pet, but posting a pic of you holding or sitting next to an adorable animal is always a great way to make a girl melt and coaxing her to match with you.
Pro tip: Baby animals are always your best bet — always.
Of course, what you consider to be an adorable animal may not be considered adorable by a majority of the general public. Stick with things like kittens, puppies, baby goats, and piglets. Pretty much anything at a petting zoo is fair game. Avoid the following animals to prevent her from doing a knee-jerk left swipe out of fear:
- Praying mantis
- Pet walking stick — you know, really any type of bug is a bad choice
- Porcupines (they’re cute, but also kind of like furry cactuses)
- Goldfish — they’re great and all, but can you feed a goldfish from a baby bottle or hug it? NO
If you have a pet spider or boa constrictor or something, save that fact for a time when you get to know the woman better.
Tip #13: Avoid Pics or Lines That Make You Sound Like You’re a Party Animal
“He’s cute, but do you think he’s an alcoholic?”
This is what a gorgeous, high-value woman may ask her friend if you create a profile that highlights that time you went to New Orleans and drank for 18 hours straight, or if you’re imbibing in every single one of your pictures.
Sometimes people post these things because they want to let women know that they know hot to cut loose and have a good time. That’s great, but she doesn’t know you, so would likely come to the conclusion of, “Wow, this guy drinks a lot” if that’s what you focus on.
Get Her to Swipe Right Every Time
Want individualized help crushing your dating goals so that you can meet high-value women and stay out of the friend-zone for good? If so, head on over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today!
During our session, we will discuss your personal dating roadblocks and create an action plan to help you overcome those roadblocks in order to find a compatible, long-term partner. We’ll also discuss my 3 month coaching program to see if it could be a fit for you.