What are the top questions to ask a girl on a first date? The first three dates are pretty crucial when it comes to potentially moving forward with someone long-term. And because first impressions are everything, you’re going to want to make sure you come prepared with questions to ask a girl on a first date in order to avoid awkward silences that are big enough for tumbleweeds to roll through.
A first date is also an opportune time to learn more about a girl and become closer to her without getting too, too personal. And a good first date can be the precursor to a GREAT second date, a mind-blowing third date, and a healthy, long-term relationship.
The following questions to get to know someone are designed for a typical first date. I’m assuming that you don’t know this person very well, which is why I included a lot of background questions.
However, if you happen to be going on a date with someone you already know, I have you covered there too. Check out my article on What to Talk About on a Date If You Already Know the Person.
And now without further adieu, take a look a look below for the top 25 questions to ask a girl on a first date.
Question #1: What is Your Favorite…?
Ask her about some of her favorite things and use them to fuel your future date plans. Favorites can include:
- Favorite food: Use this for restaurant planning
- Favorite animal: If she likes cats and dogs, maybe take her to a cat cafe (if you live near one), take her or your dog to a dog park, or volunteer at a local animal shelter. If she likes ducks, go for a walk near a pond where you can feed ducks. If she likes horses, horseback riding could be a future date plan, and so on and so on…
- Favorite Author: This is a great question is general, but also particularly wonderful for sapiosexuals.
- Favorite movie: You can piggyback off of this question by seeing what types of movie genres she tends to enjoy, and plan a movie date based around that.
- Favorite sports team
- Favorite animal
- Favorite band: Like her favorite movie, pay attention to the genre of music.
Question #2: What’s Your Best Childhood Memory?
This is a nostalgic first date question that can be a great way to open up more dialogue and build intimacy. Research shows that nostalgia can boost mood and decrease stress. Enjoy exchanging reveries and take note of the memories that she describes as most special to her. Like other things on this list, her nostalgia could provide a roadmap for a future date.
For example, did she used to love riding the Ferris wheel each year during an annual fair that took place every summer in her hometown? Recreate that memory by taking her to a fair or carnival.
Question #3: Are You a Morning Person or a Night Owl?
Again this can give you an indication of the types of dates you want to go on, and whether or not you want to plan something like a morning hike or a dance party/club that keeps you up until 2-4am.
Question #4: How Many Siblings Do You Have?
Because it’s the first date, keep this pretty surface. You can ask more about her family dynamic during later dates. Find out how many siblings they have and to keep the conversation going, share how many you have or if you’re an only child. If you have any light-hearted stories about your sibling dynamic or being an open child, that can also help to break the ice.
Question #5: What Would Constitute a “Perfect” Day For You?
Depending on how doable their perfect day is (i.e., if it involves cliff diving in Rome followed by dinner in Paris, this won’t count as a realistic third date), you can try to recreate that — or at least elements of it — during future dates.
Question #6: What Hobbies Would You Like to Get Into If You Had the Time and Money?
This is a creative spin on the “what are your hobbies” first date question. It’s a great way for both of you to talk about what you’d like to get more into in the future, discover if you have certain aspirations in common, and try to use these ideas during future dates.
Question #7: What’s the Most Recent TV Series You Binged or Re-Watched?
If you both happen to be fans of a quotable series, this is a great way to bond humorously over that and even toss out some famous one-liners courtesy of your favorite show.
Question #8: When Did You Last Sing to Yourself? To Someone Else?
This first date question has the potential to extend the date over to a karaoke bar. And if you’re a fan of karaoke already, consider planning this first date on the same night you plan on meeting friends afterward for a good karaoke sesh.
I recommend that first dates don’t go longer than an hour, so if you’re really enjoying your time with her, having something planned afterward can give you the perfect opportunity for a second date THAT VERY NIGHT.
Women love spur of the moment opportunities, seriously we do – that’s why this is one of my favorite questions to ask a girl on a first date.
Question #9: What’s Your Philosophy on Tipping?
When someone is a good tipper (i.e., they believe in tipping a minimum of 18-20%), that can be an indicator of generosity. And generous people tend to make the best partners.
Question #10: What’s Your Biggest Pet Peeve?
It’s good to learn this early on so you have one way to avoid unintentionally irking her.
Question #11: Where Are You Originally From?
Again, this is keeping things superficial enough for a first date, but it also has the potential to open up conversation channels. She may have lived somewhere abroad or done a lot of traveling throughout her life.
Question #12: Where Did You Go to School?
You can learn a lot about someone when you know what school they attended. For example, if she went to college in a big city, she might be a little more fast paced than a woman who went to a school in the country.
Plus, you might have a friend who also went to that school – and you can ask her if she knows that person. This is a great way to network.
Question #13: What Was Your Major in School?
For questions 11-13, you can learn more about these during subsequent dates. For example, on the second date, you can follow up by asking questions like:
- Which members of your family are you closest to?
- What made you decide to move here OR what has kept you here?
For the school major question, you can ask them about what made them choose their major etc. If they didn’t go to college (plenty of people don’t for one of a number of legit reasons), skip to the next question.
Question #14: What Do You Do Professionally?
Assuming the person you’re on a date with works, ask more about their job and show interest by asking the following questions:
- What made you get into that line of work?
- What do you like about it?
- What do you not like about it?
- What is your dream job?
- If she’s an entrepreneur, ask her what her type of business she’d create if she had unlimited resources.
Question #15: What is Your Favorite Alcoholic and Non-Alcoholic Drink?
This is another one of my favorite questions to get to know someone on a first date because it’s not as generic as the “favorite food” question and it also can give you something to fuel plans during the third date (IF appropriate) to take her back to your place.
Speaking of the third date…
One strategy for moving things back to your place after a third date involves mentioning a “rare drink” that you know how to make and think she should try. You can use the types of drinks she mentions liking during this date to give you some ideas of the type of ingredients you’ll need for the third date drink.
Question #16: Have You Traveled Anywhere Cool Recently? Do You Have Any Trips Coming Up?
Asking a question like this is a great way to segue into conversations about past travels and places you hope to visit. Note: if you’re a big traveler (& finding a partner who likes to travel is a non-negotiable) and find out she’s a homebody, it might be best to pass on her.
Question #17: How Would Your Friends Describe You?
This is a great way to learn more about someone and also reveal potential red flags. It would make sense for her to take this opportunity to say some nice things about herself and chat more about her friendships.
But for people who are difficult to get along with or suffer from things like antisocial personality disorder, friends can be few and far between. Pay attention to her reaction to this dating question. It shouldn’t be something that makes her angry, defensive or super secretive, but if any of those things happen, it could be a red flag.
Question #18: What Do You and Your Friends Like to Go Out and Do for Fun?
Again, learning this can help you plan for future dates.
Question #19: Coffee, Tea or Neither?
If she says neither, ask what her alternative would be. Maybe she’s a juicer. Finding out can help you plan a day date in the future.
Question #20: What’s Your Favorite Restaurant?
This is a great first date question to have answered in case you two end up on a third date. The third date is when I recommend taking a woman to dinner. For reference, here is how I tell my clients to typically structure the first three dates:
Choose something casual like a happy hour or coffee that won’t cost more than $15. Limit the date time to no more than an hour.
Choose something active, that will USUALLY take place during the daytime and that is free. Here are a few examples of what would be appropriate for a second date:
- Go hiking
- Visit a museum
- Have a picnic at the beach or a local park
- Go on a brewery tour
- Find a free concert
- Sample foods at a farmers market
This is where you can pull out all the stops for a romantic dinner. The third date also tends to be a time where you can seal the deal if it feels right and she is interested.
You can read a complete breakdown of how to get your date in the mood by clicking here.
Question #21: Are You More of an Indoors or Outdoors Person?
Although I consider things like hiking and picnics a great second date idea, if she HATES the outdoors, you want to steer clear of any date that doesn’t involve four walls and air conditioning.
Question #22: How Would You Describe Your Personal Spotify or Pandora Playlist?
You certainly don’t need to have the same musical interests in order to be romantically compatible, but this is just one more way question that opens up channels of conversation that can bring the two of you closer. Plus, if she has a particular genre or band she’s crazy about, you can use this information to find a music venue or concert in your area that she would enjoy going to.
Question #23: Do You Think Goldfish Make Good Pets?
Yes, this may seem a bit random, but randomness has its perks. People often describe themselves as “cat people” or “dog people.” But what about goldfish? Does she consider them to be misunderstood? Has she bonded with a goldfish? Or does she simply view this species as interior decor that requires feeding?
The routes you can go in this goldfish conversation are endless and guarantee a lack of awkward silences.
Question #24: If You Had to Describe Yourself As Messy or a Neat Freak, Which One Would You Choose?
If you consider either of these a dealbreaker, it’s a good thing to learn sooner rather than later.
Question #25: On Thursday Night I’m Going to the California Academy of Sciences Exhibit To See Some Rare Leopard Sharks…Are You Free?
Lock it down. If you’re into the girl and want to see her again, always secure date #2 while on date #1.
Questions to Ask a Girl on a First Date Wrap-up
You are now equipped with plenty of questions to ask a girl on a first date. But what if you’re having trouble even GETTING to that first date?
If you’ve found yourself in a dating rut, I’m here to help. In 2010, I found myself single and intrigued by the dating world. As part of my undergraduate studies at UC Berkeley, I embarked on a 100-date experiment.
I spent a year going on dates with over 50 men. One key strategy I used during this experiment was megadating. Megadating is the process of dating several people at one time in order to diffuse your energy and increase your self-confidence. It’s a strategy that helped me find a happy, committed relationship and it can work for you too!
If you want to learn more, head over to my calendar and book a 1-on-1 Skype session with me today! During our intro session, we’ll discuss your dating roadblocks, your goals and create an action plan to get you started toward a happier and more fulfilling dating life. We’ll also determine if my 3 month coaching program could be right for you.
I look forward to talking to you!