When I first embarked on my 100-date experiment, I wondered if love even existed. I didn’t know if it was possible for me. But by the end of my experiment, I discovered that you should never give up on love.
Searching for love can be a painful and frustrating process. It’s understandable that many people are tempted to throw in the towel and give up. However, we often sabotage our own romantic journey without even realizing it.
That’s why I’m here to offer you 10 things you can do to assure that you never give up on love, along with some strategies to position you for success.
Reason #1: You May Need to Adjust/Lower Your Standards
Are you giving up on love or women because of superficial reasons? Are you setting your bar too high? If so, take a look at your standards.
Are you caught up in the idea of finding your “dream woman?” Do you refuse to date a woman unless she’s drop-dead gorgeous? Or maybe you have advanced degrees and want a woman that has a Ph.D. Is your list of pet peeves longer than a receipt from CVS?
It may be time to lower your standards. Broadening your horizons in the dating world increases your chances of finding success. Moreover, stepping outside of your comfort zone opens you up to new experiences, which can help you grow as a person.
Always date younger women? Try dating someone older. Are you constantly on the prowl for cougars? Try dating someone younger than you. And of course, date people your own age as well.
If you tend to nitpick about the types of women you date, you may be surprised by what you find when you adjust your standards. Suddenly the girl of your dreams could turn out to be the type of woman you always overlooked.
Reason #2: You’re Allowing Fear to Get in the Way
“I give up on love!” This is what a friend of mine exclaimed one time after a bad date. She bemoaned that men just didn’t seem to be interested in her (at least not the ones she was interested in) and that she was sick of trying.
But here’s the thing. She wasn’t really trying. I saw her time and time again, freezing up and fleeing out of fear when she met someone she liked. Years ago, she had been through a heartbreak and hadn’t taken the proper steps to recover.
The truth is that no matter who you are, love is a scary thing. But you should never give up on love because of fear. The scariest things in life can also be the most fulfilling. We only live once. Don’t miss out on something great because you’re scared.
I’m very familiar with the fear that comes with the pursuit of love. And if I had allowed that fear to consume me, I would have missed out on the amazing relationship I’m in today.
Reason #3: Heartbreak Has Left You With a Warped Perspective
As I alluded to in my previous point, heartbreak can warp your perspective when it comes to romance. But you shouldn’t allow that heartbreak to make you give up.
Even the worst breakups lead to growth. Don’t view your previous relationship as a failure. Think about the things you learned about yourself. Moreover, think about the things you learned you want in a relationship and what you consider dealbreakers after going through that heartache.
You can apply the lessons you learned to your next relationship. Each relationship, whether it lasts or not, is instrumental to our growth and success in the future.
Reason #4: You Haven’t Broadened Your Horizons
Along with adjusting your standards, broaden your horizons when it comes to distance. I work with lots of male clients who, when using dating apps, set their distance settings to 5-10 miles for the sake of convenience.
Broaden your horizons. Increase your distance settings so that you increase your chances of meeting the right woman. When you go out, check out places you’re unfamiliar with. Don’t do the same activities or go to the same old bars. The right woman could be just a town away.
Reason #5: You’re Missing Out On Great Experiences
The other reason you should never give up on love is that you don’t want to miss out on great experiences. Think about the wonderful times you had in past relationships. Think about the great memories you made and how it helped you grow as a person.
Romantic and long term relationships are different than friendships or even the close bonds we have with family. Being in love forces you to be vulnerable in a way that you can’t be with anyone else. As scary as this is, it’s incredible what it can do for you when it comes to personal growth and fulfillment. You don’t want to miss out on great experiences just because you may ultimately break up with the person.
And most importantly, don’t let low self-esteem prevent you from these great experiences. We often internalize a breakup or mistakes when dating and think that there’s something wrong with us when a relationship goes awry. But the truth is, some things are simply not meant to be. It’s no one’s fault. But the experiences you have during a relationship are invaluable.
Reason #6: You Haven’t Focused On Loving Yourself
A lot of times people give up on love because their sense of self-worth isn’t where it should be. You should never give up on love because of this.
Instead of projecting all your upset on love itself, focus on loving yourself so that you can be emotionally available when you’re ready to date again.
Check out my article on Why Feeling Worthy Will Help You Attract Any Woman for tips and tricks.
If your self-esteem has been negatively affecting other areas of your life and is making it difficult to function, consider seeking out a therapist to work through those issues. There’s absolutely no shame in getting help (I have many friends who have thrived after seeing a therapist, whether it was a couple of sessions or a few years). When it comes to your health and happiness, do whatever it takes. You’re worth it!
Reason #7: Things Can Change Quickly
You should never give up on love because things can change when you least expect it.
A friend of mine had been hopelessly unlucky in love. She felt like giving up. Then, within a matter of weeks, she randomly met her current husband while out at a bar. Within six months they were engaged and in a year she was expecting their first child.
Things can change quickly, so don’t give up just because you haven’t found the right person yet.
Reason #8: There is Strength in Vulnerability
Allow yourself to be vulnerable. While some men think vulnerability is synonymous with “being a pussy,” nothing could be farther from the truth.
When you let down your walls and allow yourself to be vulnerable, it’s suddenly much easier to get closer to someone. Connections deepen and you’re now well on your way to creating a foundation for a lasting relationship. Moreover, women find men who can be vulnerable extremely attractive.
Reason #9: It’s OK if Love Doesn’t Always Last
Sometimes people come into our lives for a certain period of time. It’s ok if love doesn’t laugh. We change and grow as time goes on, which is why something that felt like “forever” at one point suddenly doesn’t fit into your future plans.
Remember, every relationship is an opportunity for growth. The more you put yourself out there and allow yourself to love at the risk of getting hurt, the closer you will get to finding a relationship that sticks.
Reason #10: You’re Too Hung Up On “the One”
When guys get hung up on the idea of “the one,” they end up sabotaging themselves. Being fixated on finding your soulmate means that you’ll often place this idealism on the next person you start dating. This can cause you to chase after one woman and, ultimately, get placed in the friendzone.
One of the best ways to remedy this is to stop getting hung up on a fantasy and start MegaDating.
What is MegaDating?
MegaDating is a dating process that involves dating people concurrently, i.e., dating more than one woman at the same time.
When you date multiple people, anxiety decreases and confidence increases. MegaDating allows you to see that there are tons of options when it comes to dating. Instead of wondering whether you’ll meet the right person, you’ll be busy hanging out with tons of interesting people, proving that there are plenty of fish in the sea. And because practice makes perfect, MegaDating allows you to develop major game when it comes to dating.
I used MegaDating as my main strategy during my experiment. It completely changed my perspective and led me to the amazing relationship I’m in today. It worked for me and it can work for you too!
Never Give Up On Love: Hire a Dating Coach
Let’s change your perspective and, together, help you find the woman of your dreams! I’ve helped men from all walks of life develop confidence in themselves and attract tons of gorgeous, high-value women. I can do the same for you.
Ready to get started? Head over to my calendar and book a 1-on-1 Skype session with me today! During our session, we will create an action plan to help you overcome your dating roadblocks and achieve your goals.
No topic is off limits. Talk to you soon!