“Why did she friendzone me?” When a girl you really like hands you a one-way ticket to the friendzone, it can be crushing. Nobody likes ending up in the friendzone, but it happens to pretty much all of us at some point. I mean, why do you think somebody originally coined the term “friendzone?”
So many people end up there…
But you don’t have to relegate yourself to the friendzone forever. There are several strategies you can use to attract gorgeous, high-value women and stay out of the friendzone for good.
At the end of this article, I’ll provide expert insights and strategies to help you avoid being eternally friendzoned. But first, let’s take a look at the possible reasons you keep ending up in a painfully platonic place.
Why Did She Friendzone Me? Reason #1: You’re Too Agreeable
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that all women want bad boys and that, because you’re a nice guy, you can’t get any woman to commit to you.
The truth is that mature women are looking for nice men who will treat them well. But being a “nice guy” shouldn’t be synonymous with being a pushover.
If you’ve been asking yourself for years how to not get friendzoned, it might be because you’re too agreeable. When you’re too agreeable, you come off as disingenuous because let’s face it, there’s no way you’re going to agree with every single thing she says.
Moreover, when you turn into a yes man around a woman it might seem like you’re trying to overcompensate for something.
Women like to be challenged, so don’t be shy about expressing your opinion.
Reason #2: You’re Chasing Her
You’ve probably heard that women like to be chased. Yes, some women like to be chased, but these aren’t necessarily the type of women that you want to pursue if you’re looking for a long term girlfriend.
Furthermore, if you’re chasing after one woman, you’ve basically given all your power away. You aren’t challenging her, she knows that she can call on you whenever she feels like it and, thus, you instantly become less appealing to her.
Reason #3: She’s Emotionally Unavailable
Maybe she just got out of a relationship or has been through some painful situations that make her reticent when it comes to starting a relationship. If a woman is emotionally unavailable, she is going to friendzone you and most guys that come her way. If you see her with a “bad boy” or enjoying several casual hookups, don’t take it personally or feel like you need to change something about herself.
She may have intimacy issues that are keeping her from pursuing a real relationship. If that’s the case, there’s really nothing you can do. She has to work through these things herself before entering a relationship.
Some other signs that a woman is an emotionally available woman include:
- She takes forever to text you back
- Emotionally, she’s hot and cold
- She bashes her exes or is over the top about praising them
- She has addiction issues
- She never invites you out with her friends or to events
- She’s unnecessarily critical of you
Reason #4: She Has a Boyfriend or Husband
Is she married or in a serious relationship? Did she recently try going back to her ex?
Well, welcome to the reason that you got friendzoned. Please stop pursuing unavailable women. The end.
Reason #5: You Work with Her
If the woman in question is your co-worker, it’s understandable that she would be hesitant about dating you. And if this is the case, you need to respect it.
Dating a co-worker is tricky territory and you should only proceed if both of you are mutually interested and your work policy allows it. Even then, you need to proceed with caution.
If you’ve expressed interest in a co-worker and she puts you in the friendzone, move on. Continuing to pursue her is going to make her uncomfortable and could even cause you to lose your job.
Reason #6: She’s Crazy
I’d love to say that every woman who friendzones you is a nutcase and that is the ONLY reason any woman would ever friendzone you. However, that isn’t the case. BUT, it is possible that a woman who expresses interest and then places you into platonic territory has a screw loose.
If you’ve been falling for a woman who displays erratic behavior or has left you feeling manipulated, you need to keep your wits about you and should probably steer clear of her completely.
Sociopaths and narcissists are two types of people who get a rise out of manipulation. They are also dangerously charming, which is why many people end up getting duped by them in the dating world.
To learn more about these types of personality disorders and how to steer clear of women who exhibit these traits, check out 10 Ways to Know if You’re Dating a Sociopath Woman and 7 Ways to Spot Narcissistic Women While Dating.
Reason #7: She Thinks You’re Clingy
Don’t allow your infatuation to turn you into a stage-five clinger. Even if a girl initially reciprocates your feelings for her, she will friendzone you FAST if she feels like you’re getting really clingy.
So how do you know if you’re being clingy? Ask yourself if you do the following things:
- Do you bombard her with texts?
- Do you check up on her social media profiles?
- Have you been neglecting friends and family to spend time with her?
- Do you shower her with compliments and gifts even though you aren’t exclusive?
If the aforementioned sounds familiar, you may be treading into stage-five clinger territory.
Reason #8: She’s Just Not That Into You
It doesn’t matter who you are. It doesn’t matter how smart, funny or good-looking you are. Some people are just not going to be that into you.
And that’s ok.
Instead of fixating on why a girl put you into the friendzone, you need to focus on how you can change your dating strategy and build your confidence in a way that attracts compatible partners.
Below are some strategies to help you stay out of the friendzone for good.
Strategy #1: MegaDating
This is the most effective strategy you can use when it comes to the dating world. MegaDating is a dating process that involves dating several people at the same time in order to diffuse your energy by keeping your social calendar full.
When you MegaDate, you’re far less likely to get hung up on one person and become a stage-five clinger. Because you are constantly meeting new people and developing connections, you won’t sweat the small stuff or become infatuated too soon. This strategy also helps you deal with things like rejection.
MegaDating also helps you avoid settling for the mediocre. This is very important because settling in relationships can lead to things like unhappiness, an unfulfilling marriage, and even divorce.
Practice makes perfect; with MegaDating, you’re constantly working on your game, which makes you become really good at approaching women. As you increase your confidence, women are automatically more attracted to you. Plus, the fact that you are dating more than one woman at a time stimulates an unconscious sense of competition in women.
Thus, with MegaDating, you don’t have to chase women — they’ll be chasing after you.
Strategy #2: Expand Your Dating Horizons
Obviously, you need to rack up some dates to MegaDate. You can do this by putting yourself out there in several ways. Other than the bar scene, meet different women by:
- Downloading dating apps and signing up for dating sites
- Asking friends to set you up
- Joining different Meetup groups
- Take an improv comedy class
- Join a co-ed sports league
- Farmers market and street fairs
- Coffee shops
- Concerts and other events
- Speed dating events (it’s MegaDating at lightning speed!)
- Yoga (who doesn’t love those pants) or group fitness events
Strategy #3: Craft Compelling Date Ideas
What makes a date compelling?
A compelling date idea is one that appeals to a woman’s interests and also introduces her to a new experience. For example, if the girl you like is a karaoke fiend, take her to an event that does karaoke with a live band or some other eclectic event that allows her to get up and sing.
Girls are used to guys asking them to go out for the standard coffee or happy hour. Stand out from the competition by putting more thought into your dates and making them unique.
Strategy #4: Use a TDL
Every compelling date idea should include a TDL.
A TDL is an acronym used to describe the three critical components of a date request’s call-to-action, the time, the date, and the location of the date.
When you offer a specific time, date and location, it shows that you are considerate and chivalrous.
Strategy #5: Use My Failproof Dating Blueprint
You may be wondering how you can successfully MegaDate without breaking the bank. Won’t going out with tons of women all the time ruin your credit score?
It doesn’t have to when you use my dating blueprint for the first three dates:
- First Date: It should be something that is less than an hour and does not exceed $15.
- Second Date: This date should be active and free. Consider something like hiking or visiting a museum. Eventbrite is also a great place to find free events. Here’s an article on some fun physical second date ideas and another on some unique second date ideas that’ll knock her socks off.
- Third Date: This is the date where you can have a nice, intimate dinner. The third date is often when you will end up sealing the deal.
There are tons of awesome and affordable dating options that will sweep a girl off her feet. A little creativity goes a long way.
Stay Out of the Friendzone for Good
Want to stay out of the friendzone for good? Book me as your dating coach. Head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. During our intro session, we will create diagnose your dating roadblocks, come up with short and long term action plans, and see if my 3 month coaching program might be a fit for you.
I’ve helped men across the world get out of the friendzone and find the woman of their dreams. I can’t wait to do the same for you!