Want to know how to get a second date with a girl and make it incredibly compelling? You’ve come to the right place!
It’s really, REALLY important that you lock down a second date plan during the first date. Don’t wait to call three days later and try to schedule something, because — at that point — she may already be booked OR feel like you’re playing games.
One of my biggest tips for getting a second date is using what I call a TDL. A TDL is an acronym that we at EmLovz use to describe the call-to-action during a date request. It stands for Time, Date, and Location. When you use a TDL, you are setting a firm plan for your second date that leaves absolutely ZERO room for confusion. An example of what someone would say when using a TDL would be:
“You said you want to be a little more adventurous and just did a zip lining class. Did you know there’s a flying trapeze class at [insert specific location]? How about we go take a lesson this Saturday at 2pm?”
Notice that there are a specific time, date and location. ALSO notice that this date idea is extremely compelling because it:
- Is adventurous
- Took her interests into account
- Is introducing an activity that NEITHER of you have done before
To learn more about how to setup a second date by using a TDL here.
Below, I’ll delve much deeper into this topic so you know EXACTLY how to get a second date — and plenty of dates after.
How to Get a Second Date Tip #1: Listen
If you’re lucky, the woman you’re on a date with will come right out and say something like, “I really want to do [insert thing she wants to do here]. Maybe we can do that the next time we get together.”
In this random lucky scenario you didn’t even have to worry about asking for a second date.
But you can’t bank on a woman coming right out and telling you what she wants to do each and every date — nor should she.
Pay attention on your first date to see if a woman drops hints about something she’d REALLY like to try. You can do this be asking some of my favorite first date questions to compel her and secure a second date. Here’s a few examples to get you started?
- “What would constitute a ‘perfect’ date for you?”
- “What hobbies would you like to get into if you had the time and money?”
- “Are you more of an indoors or outdoors person?”
- “On Thursday night, I’m going to the California Academy of Sciences Exhibit to see some rare leopard shark…are you free?”
Tip #2: Pay Attention to Verbal and Nonverbal Cues
When talking to a woman during the first date, she will likely give you a lot of clues about what fascinates her. Pay attention to changes in her speech pattern, when her eyes light up or if she just seems generally excited. Then, see if you can somehow incorporate the things she gets passionate about into plans for a second date.
- If she gets excited about art and culture, consider taking her to a really cool museum.
- If she really likes working out (and I mean, not like “I like it because I have to do it,” but that she LIKES doing it), consider taking her to a trendy new workout class or to a dance lesson.
- If she’s a foodie, consider taking her to a cooking class or somewhere that has adventurous, eclectic cuisine that neither of you have tried before.
- If she’s a wino or beer connoisseur, go to a wine tasting or do a brewery tour.
Tip #3: Try Something New
Listen up guys, because THIS is one of the most important tips for getting a second date..
One of the most compelling things you can offer to a woman when it comes to a second date is a brand new experience. This needs to be an experience that somehow relates to her interests and/or curiosity, but DOES NOT resemble other experiences she’s had.
And NO, trying a different type of sauce on your wings at happy hour does NOT count as a compelling new experience.
Be sure you don’t repeat an experience she’s already had. Even if she says something like, “Oh my gosh, this activity is SO GREAT. It’s such an epic experience.” DON’T make that activity the second date. There will be plenty of time to repeat things you both enjoy down the road.
For example, let’s say I relayed the following experience to you: “Have you been to LandsEnd? It’s an epic hiking trail that overlooks the ocean and the Golden Gate Bridge — you have to check it out.” Although I did mention that it’s beautiful and it’s an awesome experience, it’s important to note the other things that I hadn’t done but really, REALLY wanted to experience. The power would be more so in the experience that she has not had yet but that she wants to have, especially because there’s a reason why she hasn’t done it yet. Here’s another example…
Let’s say I mentioned wanting to try the rentable GoPed scooters. In this scenario, let’s say I mentioned that I haven’t tried it yet but it sounds really cool. If you, as a man, can latch onto that experience that I want to have — but haven’t yet had — then you can make the second date TDL more compelling. And in this example, let’s say I haven’t tried it yet mainly because I’m a little scared.
BUT, I would try it if I had a guy that was not just willing — but EXCITED — to go with me and try it out. And, hey, if you’re not good at the experience she suggests — that’s OK. It’s really more about having a partner in crime when it comes to a brand new experience.
And if you both fall on your face, you both fall on your face — but it’s better to do that together than alone.
So you’re basically guaranteed a date here — and using the ULTIMATE TDL — because she wants to do this activity anyway. And the fact that she’s not going to have to do it on her own will make you earn MAJOR brownie points, because you’re fulfilling a want she had, but may have not had the courage to do by herself.
Tip #4: Be Down for It
Recently I was on a “mock date” with one of my clients near The Warming Hut in San Francisco and we were watching kiteboarders (in case you’re unfamiliar, kiteboarding is a sport that combines elements of wakeboarding, snowboarding, windsurfing, surfing, paragliding, skateboarding and sailing). I mentioned several times how cool I thought it was and how I wanted to try it. I asked him if he would ever do it and he said, “Of course!”
I think that this could have ended up being one of the most compelling opportunities for a second date that I would have encountered. Although kiteboarding is considered an extreme sport, a great date would have been for us to take a class where we got the opportunity to learn how to do it at a beginner’s level.
Although it was VERY clear how interested I was in doing this kind of date, I also kept saying, “Oh, it would be so scary.” Alas, the second date never happened because this was a “mock date.” But my client could have taken my curiosity and fear as an opportunity to execute the perfect use of a TDL.
For example, when I asked him if he’d ever do that, he could have followed his “Of course,” up with “Let’s try it next weekend.” Another thing he could have said in a way that locks down a second date without being too aggressive is something like, “Oh cool! Well, I’m actually planning to go do some kiteboarding next Saturday if you want to come with.” That would be REALLY powerful!
If you can pair a TDL with something she finds fascinating — and a little scary — you’ve done all the work. She’s definitely going to show up for the date, AND she’s going to associate that sense of adventure and exhilaration with you. She’s going to look at you as the guy that fulfills this novel sense of adventure that’s part of her psyche.
Moreover, you’ll associate her with adventure, excitement and exhilaration. This will get both of your hearts racing (in a good way) and enhance the chemistry and intimacy between you two.
Tip #6: MegaDating
Still questioning yourself with respects to how to get a second date? MegaDating will help!
MegaDating is a dating process that involves dating several people at the same time in order to diffuse energy and increase dating confidence.
When you aren’t in an exclusive relationship and are struggling in the dating world, MegaDating it one of the best strategies you can use to:
- Decrease anxiety
- Lessen the pain of rejection
- Increase self-esteem
- Avoid settling for the mediocre
MegaDating makes you a lot more attractive and confident because it forces you to put yourself out there, try new things, and — most importantly — it makes you realize that there are plenty of fish in the sea.
MegaDating helped me find a compatible, long-term partner and it can do the same for you! Learn more about MegaDating here.
How to Get a Second Date By Making it Compelling Wrap-Up
Have you been struggling with getting a second date, asking for a second date, or even getting one woman to go on a date with you? Do you find the world of dating frustrating rather than fun?
I’m here to help.
If you want professional help on how to get a second date — or anything related to the world of dating — head over to my calendar and book a 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. I love coaching men who are goal oriented and hard working.