When it comes to the early stages of dating, there are several signs she wants you to chase her, ranging from the innocuous to the overly flirtatious and even the manipulative. Regardless of the reasons that she may want you to chase her, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you should. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that you just plain old shouldn’t chase a woman.
When you chase a woman that you’re not exclusive with (or a woman that you aren’t even dating at all), you become completely beholden to her. You may end up losing some self-confidence as a result of that chase and this kind of game playing serves as a distraction from other high-quality women who would be upfront with you and never expect you to exhaust yourself with a chase.
Refusing to chase women also gets you out of the mindset of “getting women,” or viewing dating as a game. This can help you focus on other women and eventually find a compatible, long-term partner.
One of the best strategies for resisting the urge to indulge the woman who is giving you signs she wants you to chase her is megadating. Megadating is a dating process that involves going on dates with several different women at the same time. This strategy helps you gain confidence and reduces anxiety by diffusing your energy and keeping your calendar full.
Megadating is not about game playing or sneaking around. It’s also not about trying to sleep with a bunch of different women — you can megadate all you want and don’t need to have sex with anyone until the moment feels right, or even at all. Megadating is simply about going on dates with different people in order to get fantastic at meeting potential matches (practice makes perfect) and eventually finding a wonderful long-term relationship. It worked for me and it can work for you too!
Megadating will also keep you from chasing women because you’ll be keeping your calendar full with dates and — quite frankly — it’s going to be pretty difficult to chase one woman when you’re hanging out with four or five.
I’ll elaborate on megadating and how to fill your personal toolbox with all you need to find success in the dating world at the end of this article.
But first, let’s take a look at the signs she is not interested in you, a quick warning on the dangerous types of women who want to be chased, top signs she wants you to chase her, and the benefits that come with not giving into the chase.
Signs She is Just Not That Into You
Sometimes you may think that a woman is giving you signs she wants you to chase her or is playing hard to get when in reality she is simply not interested. It’s important to differentiate the two. If a woman is not interested, she’s just not interested. Cut ties and move on.
She’s just not that into you if:
- She constantly bails on plans with you
- She doesn’t listen to you or finds ways to get out of conversations with you quickly
- She doesn’t make eye contact with you
- She avoids physical contact with you
- She consistently refers to you as a friend and makes a point to let you know you’re just friends
- She shows interest in other men — not in a rude way necessarily (i.e., she might not openly flirt in front of you), but she will talk about guys she likes and may even ask about getting hooked up with one of your mutual friends
- She ghosts you or doesn’t contact you/respond to texts until days later
- Her responses to your texts are one-word answers
- She never asks you any questions about your day or your life
- She doesn’t make any effort to introduce you to her friends and doesn’t seem interested in meeting yours
- She tells you she’s not interested in you or doesn’t like you like that
Maybe this is a woman you’re infatuated with and hope that her disinterest is actually one of the signs she wants you to chase her.
She’s not, but the good news is that there are plenty of women out there who are going to be really interested in you. Even if she hasn’t had the courage to come out and reject you with compassionate honesty, don’t waste your time pining for someone who doesn’t want you.
A Word About the Dangerous Woman Who Shows Signs She Wants You to Chase Her
It’s important to note the possibility that a woman who aggressively wants you to chase her may be a narcissist or a sociopath. Both narcissists and sociopaths enjoy having control over people and being chased is one way they can feel like they are in control at all times. Sociopaths and narcissists both crave having power over people, whether that is due to a sadistic satisfaction or the constant need to feel wanted and validated.
There are some distinctions between narcissism and sociopaths. Here are a few signs that the woman who is giving you signs she wants you to chase her is a narcissist:
- She likes to put other people down, including friends and colleagues
- She is prone to sudden fits of anger
- She dresses and acts provocatively
- She loves making you jealous
- She constantly talks about herself
- She uses gaslighting as a manipulative tactic
- She’s unfaithful
- She lies
And here are some signs that she may be a sociopath:
- She lies and cheats
- She is extremely charming, particularly when she wants something
- She love bombs you
- She uses pity plays to make you feel sorry for her or apologize, even when she was the one that committed an offense
- She has trouble at work and with personal/professional relationships
- She’s bad with finances
- She exhibits impulsive and toxic behavior
Just to reiterate, I am in no way saying that all women who want to be chased are psychopaths — quite the contrary. Many women may simply be insecure about your feelings or lack the confidence and experience to express themselves without using games to feel validated.
But narcissists and sociopaths definitely exist, and they’re not all killers or crazy Disney villains running some evil corporation. However, the emotional damage people like this cause can be extremely traumatic, which is why it’s best to recognize red flags early on and avoid continuing a relationship — or starting one — with a woman like this.
Signs She Wants You to Chase Her #1: She Gets Irritated When You’re Late on Texting Her Back
Now, I’m not talking about irritation that comes if you text her back two days after you told her you would contact her in an hour — that irritation is justified.
But if she texts you and you’re at work or get delayed a couple hours (totally understandable, right?) and she seems miffed, or texts something like, “Wow, took you long enough!” She probably wants you to chase her.
Notice that in these scenarios that, despite wanting to be chased, she is sure to initiate contact with you as to keep the connection intact.
Sign #2: She Teases You
Playful teasing is a big way of flirting without totally putting all your cards on the table.
If she is always finding excuses to touch you (i.e., rubbing your arm, hugs, touching your shoulder) this could be a sign of her wanting to chase you. If she playfully punches your arm, saying things like, “Oh my gosh you are so annoying,” while laughing and smiling, it can be a sign of affection while also wanting you to redeem yourself for the supposed offense.
Playfulness is a great and important part of any relationship. However, when it’s done in a way that keeps you guessing about her intentions and/or leaves you confused, this is a big sign that she is looking for the thrill of being chased.
Sign #3: She Tries to Make You Jealous
Are you currently asking yourself “does she want me to chase her or is she not interested?”
One of the most brutal signs she wants you to chase her involves the attempt to provoke a certain reaction by making you jealous.
Although she wants to be in contact with you and be a part of your plans, she also seems to have a way of throwing it in your face that other guys are crazy about her and you’d best be careful that one of these many gentlemen doesn’t steal her away!
She could do this by boasting about her exes or guys who have crushes on her (“He was just so obsessed with me”) or could even flirt with another guy right in front of you.
Let me just be clear…
If a woman is trying to use other men to make you jealous and flirts openly in front of you when she is dating you — or has made every single indication that she wants to date you — at the very worst, she could be a narcissist or a sociopath (see section above). At the very best, she has a lot of work to do involving her own insecurities.
A woman that is confident and mature won’t feel the need to use these types of tactics to get your attention.
Sign #3: She Gets Upset When You Do Things Without Her
One of the signs she wants you to chase her can come with some awkward tantrums.
She doesn’t understand why you didn’t invite her out to your work event or why you didn’t take her to the bar with you on Saturday — sure, it was a “guy’s night,” but STILL!
Yeah, about that…
If a woman is confident and secure, she won’t want to infringe upon the activities you do with your guy friends or family without her, particularly if you are in the very early stages of dating.
The Benefit of Not Chasing Her #1: Women Intuitively Feel You’re Taken and a Prize
Has your older brother or friend ever told you: “stop chasing her and she will come”…
When you don’t engage in any cat-and-mouse games by MegaDating and enjoy the independent aspects of your own life, women intuitively feel that you’re taken and also must be a prize, because you don’t need one particular woman’s attention to validate you.
This makes you extremely desirable to a variety of women. In these cases, a woman will be more inclined to chase you rather than trying to get you to chase her.
Benefit #2: You’ll See Things More Clearly
When you MegaDate and enjoy the adventurous experiences the dating world has to offer, you won’t be hung up on “getting women.” By keeping yourself from getting preoccupied with chasing women, you will simply be able to enjoy the experience of meeting new people.
MegaDating is also a great way to naturally learn how to get women to chase you.
Benefit #3: You Will Show Her That You are Confident in Yourself
Like I said, MegaDating builds confidence by diffusing your energy and keeping your calendar full. Because you are hanging out with a variety of women, you will no longer feel inclined to settle for the mediocre or stay hung up on a girl who doesn’t treat you right.
When you show women that you are confident in yourself and don’t have time for games, they will give up on trying to get you to chase them and are more likely to treat you with honesty and respect — something everyone deserves.
Moreover, having confidence in yourself will help you attract high-value, confident and independent women who aren’t interested in making you chase them.
One side effect of this, however, is that you’re going to have more women chasing you, which isn’t the worst problem to have.
Stop Chasing and Start Crushing Your Dating Goals
Are you ready to put these tips into practice and start crushing your dating goals? Need a strategy built just for you? I’m here to personally help you!
Head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. During our intro session, we will discuss your dating roadblocks and come up with an action plan to help you crush your dating goals. We’ll also determine if my 3 month coaching program could be right for you.