Hey guys! It’s Emyli, dating coach for men. In this article, I’d like to share with you some very helpful tips on how to compliment a girl you like.
During my 100-date experiment, I was complimented a lot.
Sometimes the compliments were great, but most of the time they had the opposite effect. After reviewing my research on the topic, I realized that most guys don’t realize how effective compliments can be in escalating our sexual attraction towards them. I also realized that I could tell a lot about a guy based on his compliments–whether he was genuine or just looking for action, if he was too overconfident or just plain needy.
Listen up guys: your compliments can turn a girl off, big time.
Fortunately, a good compliment can seriously turn us on!
Knowing how to compliment a girl you like can be tricky. If you want to stay on top of the game, you’ve got to learn how to compliment a woman in a natural, honest, and flattering way.
Here are some helpful tips to remember when talking to a woman you’re interested in.
Limit Your Compliments to One Per Date
A lot of guys on my 100-date experiment seemed to think that the more compliments to give a girl, the better. Actually, this had the opposite effect on me, and would make me feel annoyed!
Giving too many compliments will make you seem clueless and desperate. Try to focus on giving one great compliment per date–no more, no less. The less you compliment, the more effective it will be when you do.
Make it Natural and Genuine
Unless she’s particularly self-obsessed, most women can smell a fake compliment a mile away. If you’re going to give her a compliment, make sure you actually believe what you’re saying about her! If it’s not true, it’s much better to keep your mouth shut about it.
This has to be the most important piece of advice that I can give you on how to compliment a girl you like. Don’t try too hard to come up with something to say. In fact, save your compliments to give a girl for the times when she really impresses you! If that moment never comes, then it’s best to move along and find someone you really admire.
On the other hand, you might be letting nerves take over your ability to feel natural and genuine when getting to know someone. If this happens to you, make sure to check out my article on how to feel more authentic on dates, and feel comfortable and confident the next time you talk with a woman.
Be Prepared to Back Up Compliments with Proof
Like I said in the last section, do not think too hard about what kind of compliments to give a girl. Your compliments need to come across as natural, positive observations you’ve made about her that come from the heart–especially because she might challenge you on it!
Women, in general, are quick thinkers, and we like to ask follow-up questions in order to read your reactions and judge your sincerity. After giving her a compliment, you’re likely to hear one of the following follow-up questions:
- How so?
- What do you mean by that?
- What makes you say that?
- When have I ever ______ ?
Never underestimate these follow-up questions! If any of these types of questions pop up after you’ve just given her a compliment, she’s interested in you romantically. At the same time, it also means that she’s testing you. You’ll come across as attentive, genuine and caring if you can come up with some good, relevant examples of why you complimented her in the first place–so make sure they’re genuine.
Use Specific Compliments
Another great tip on how to compliment a woman is to give more specific compliments, and avoid general ones that you could give to just anyone.
Try to make your compliments as specific as possible to avoid vague, overused phrases that she’s heard a million times before. She’ll remember the time you complimented her on something unique and genuine forever, because it shows that you’re really paying attention to her and who she is.
For example, instead of “You’re so funny”. Try saying, “I’ve never met someone that could make me laugh that hard about ________.”
Add Impact to your Compliment with Eye Contact
Learning how to compliment a woman isn’t all about the words you use–it also involves a lot of physical communication. Assuming your compliment sounds genuine and straight from the heart, you’ll have the most impact on her if you make eye contact when you give it. Eye contact is an important part of communication, and avoiding her gaze might make you come across as too shy, not serious, or untrustworthy.
If she smiles and keeps eye contact afterwards, it’s the right time to subtly touch her. Don’t miss out on this opportunity! For great tips on how to do this after learning how to compliment a girl, check out my article, 10 Ways to Touch a Woman on a Date.
Steer Clear from Complimenting Her Looks
Want to know how to compliment a woman on her looks?
The answer is, don’t! You’ll never get a hot girlfriend by telling her she’s beautiful!
Even if it’s true, you don’t compliment a woman on her looks, especially if you’re just getting to know her. Why? Because women are used to getting complimented on their appearance, and she already knows you’re attracted to her, physically speaking. The best compliments to give a girl focus on the things that aren’t obvious.
Her appearance is obvious. Of course you think she’s gorgeous–but telling her won’t give you any points that she hasn’t already given to every other guy that’s said the same thing. Focus instead on commenting something nice about who she is, how she thinks, and what she does–instead of just what she looks like.
Do Not Neg
Negging, despite what you may have heard elsewhere, is bad. Don’t neg. Just don’t.
If you don’t know what negging is, it’s making a backhanded insult designed to lower her self-esteem, make her feel vulnerable, leaving her more open to your advances.
These are not the type of “compliments” to give a woman.
Examples of negging are:
- “You’re really unphotogenic, for being so pretty.”
- “You’re hot, but you should probably hit the gym more.”
- “Did you wake up late this morning? I can tell.”
Even if you end a neg with the usual “just kidding”, your date can and will take your comment the wrong way–even if she ends up with you at the end of the night. Yes, negging can work–if what you want to attract is a fragile, weak woman who’s only with you because she’s not strong enough to say no.
Confident women with healthy self-esteems will not be fooled by negging, and will resent you for it. Besides, if you’re looking for something other than a confident woman, or if what you actually want is someone you can break down, you need to do a little bit more work on yourself before trying to connect with someone else.
How to Know if You Were Successful, and What to Do Next
If you were successful with your compliment, you’ll know. A woman instantly warms up to a guy when she feels that he’s paid attention to her and appreciates her, and she’ll probably start flirting a little harder afterwards.
Can you tell when women are flirting with you? Don’t miss out on her attempts to show you she’s into you by learning the obvious and more subtle ways that women flirt. Read my article on Flirting Signals and don’t miss out on the opportunity to take a new relationship to the next level. And here’s a list of other articles that might help you get a first date with her, and more:
- First Date Tips for Men who want to get a second date
- Questions to Ask a Woman on a First Date
- First Date Ideas For Men Who Want To Get to the Second Date
- Third Date Tips for Men to help you close the deal
- List of Free Dating Sites and Apps to help you get more dates
Get Serious About Your Technique
Like everything in life, the effort you put into achieving your goals will determine the height of your success.
If you want to dramatically change your love life, don’t miss out on the chance to sign up for the Emlovz Academy for Men. This is a serious online course that will turn you into a dating boss.
This online course features premium video lessons, interactive worksheets, a personalized evaluation and more. It is also guaranteed to increase your confidence and enhance your success with women.
If you’re interested in personalized coaching sessions designed to help you reach your specific dating goals, check out my calendar and make a one-on-one appointment with me today! My sessions can be held over Skype or Facetime (for worldwide clients), or in-person for those that live in the San Francisco Bay Area.
Keep up the good work because You Deserve the Perfect Woman.