It’s Emyli again, America’s Dating Coach for Men. Is there a girl who you think might be flirting with you….but you aren’t too sure? Wanna know some obvious, and some not so obvious flirting signals? Know this:
You typically get 1 shot at sealing down a date with a woman who is being vulnerable and flirting with you.
So….wouldn’t be a good move to learn what these flirting signs or flirting signals may be….so you can spot them- and then be able to convert these opportunities into real-life dates?
I Think So!
Before we get into the TOP 7 FLIRTING SIGNS from women….let’s discuss a little more about why you may have landed on this article. If it’s because you feel like you missed a critical opportunity with a girl who was recently flirting with you….take a breath….and tell yourself it’s OK. Us humans learn from our failures, our mistakes, and our missed opportunities.
All you can do is move forward – and I’m here to help you. Let’s never miss these flirting signs EVER again.
WHAT IS FLIRTING?
Before I share my top 7 flirting signals, I wanna get clear on exactly what “flirting” is. Flirting is a way that people show interest or attraction to one another. Flirting can be executed silently or verbally.
The most charismatic people on Earth are able to flirt silently and verbally– all at the same time. It can take weeks or months of practice to become an expert at flirting. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re struggling with this.
WHAT ARE FLIRTING SIGNALS?
The difference between flirting and flirting signals is your ability to recognize that someone is showing you signs that they’re into you. The good news is, flirting and flirting signals can be mutually exclusive.
This means you don’t have to be great at flirting to recognize when someone is attracted to you. With that said, let’s jump right into flirting signal #1..
#1 SHE LOCKS EYE CONTACT
So you casually notice a girl who not only makes eye contact with you, but who locks that eye contact with you. Don’t ask yourself “is she into me”? She is, silly.
Locking eye contact is one of the strongest flirting signals any woman could make.
When a woman locks eye contact with you she wants you to approach her and talk to her. The biggest mistake you could make at this point would be to look away. Looking away shows her that you either lack confidence or that you are unavailable. Let’s face facts- you wouldn’t be reading this article if you were taken, so get ready to approach her.
Advice: When you notice a woman locking eye contact with you…..hold your gaze at her for three seconds. If she maintains eye contact for that amount of time, she’s into you. If she looks away, but then looks back at you- she’s also open to your move.
Next, make your way over to her. Try to maintain the eye contact as you confidently approach her. If she’s alone, I’d recommend being direct by saying “I noticed you from across the room, what’s your name?”
If she quickly offers up her name, ask her another qualifying question. “Are you here for the fundraiser I see going, or something else?” This will give her a chance to tell you if she’s waiting on a date to arrive. If she doesn’t mention another man, she’s all yours.
#2 SHE DECREASES HER PROXIMITY TO YOU
Proximity is the state of closeness between two people or objects. Women use proximity at bars, clubs, happy hour spots, or any location where body language takes over as the primary form of communication. Perhaps the venue is quite noisy or it’s difficult for her to get your attention with voice.
While at one of these venues, as time passes….. keep on the lookout for women who slowly try and creep closer to you. Women do this consciously and subconsciously. Take advantage of understanding proximity, and you’ll be 50% ahead of your competition (other men).
Advice: Don’t have tunnel vision when you’re in public looking for women to date. Use your peripheral vision to spot women who are inching closer to you. Don’t hesitate. Ask this woman for her name, ask her for her phone number, and also ask her how her day or night is going.
Also, try and be as present as possible when around single women. I recommend having a cup of coffee or a Red Bull before you reach your destination. Women are attracted to men who are fully living in the moment.
By fully living in the moment, you’ll be able to see every possible flirting signal. You’ll be able to see 360 degrees around you at the same time. I know this might seem impossible. But during my 100 date experiment, I felt like a few of the men I dated could see everything around them. And that was super attractive.
#3 SHE TAPS OR TOUCHES YOU
If a woman taps or touches you, she’s throwing some major flirting signs your way. She wants to get to know you. Most of the time she’ll tap you around the waist line when you are already engaged in conversation. Touch is one of the most intimate flirting signals a woman could show you.
When she touches you during conversation, she feels safe. She’s made a conscious decision in her mind that she’s interested in you.
Some women can be shy about touching you. These women might accidentally bump into you after decreasing proximity to you. You’ll need to be very present when this situation arises. Generally, she’ll most likely graze you. You’ll barely feel it. She might even have her back halfway turned to you.
Here is a tip – her touching you is not only an invitation to chat her up….but also to reciprocate the act of touching. But be careful when you touch her back.
Make sure and touch her in appropriate areas, especially if you are in public. Her touching your waist doesn’t give you the right to grab her butt.
Advice: When a woman randomly touches or taps you, make a strong move. Don’t think. Just act. Get closer to her and start a conversation. Make it natural and don’t call her out for bumping into you. If you call her out, she’ll naturally go into defense mode.
#4 SHE CONTINUOUSLY RUNS HER FINGERS THROUGH HER HAIR
This is really basic gentleman, but a major flirting signal. When you are chatting up a woman, and she runs her fingers through her hair….she’s definitely into you. Interestingly enough, most of the time women do this subconsciously.
Here’s a big picture for you guys. If she’s running her fingers through her hair, then you’re very close to asking her out, getting her phone number, or whatever else your goal is.
You’re already in front of her. You’ve already locked eyes with her. And you’ve already closed your proximity to her. She’s probably already nudged you. She is definitely flirting with you. So close the deal! Depending on your specific situation, you could ask for her phone number, see if she’s free right now for coffee, or you could even tell her “Before I go, I really want to kiss you.” Make the decision based on your specific situation.
Advice: I need to repeat this because it’s very important. This is your invitation to escalate the interaction. So move in closer to her. Put your hands on her knees. And when she gets comfortable, use the line I mentioned above, and kiss her. Again, if she’s around her friends or the moment isn’t right, get her number and move on.
The next 3 flirting signals are for situations where you may not be expecting a woman to flirt with you. For example….at your work – where she needs to possess a level of professionalism. Here are 3 discreet ways women flirt with you:
#5 SHE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU SAY
Have you ever known a person who always remembered the last discussion you had with them? Doesn’t it feel good to know that someone actually cared about what you had to say? This is normally done by bosses, parents, coaches, or mentors.
But when a woman continues threads of conversation (that have been built up for weeks), she’s definitely interested in you and hence, throwing some major flirting signs your way. Most of the time, you will see this type of flirting signal with female work colleagues, second degree female contacts, female friends of the family, or any woman who’s been around you for weeks or months.
Let’s say for example you have a female colleague who you think is flirting with you. This colleague of yours can’t be too direct with you, because she doesn’t want to seem unprofessional. For example, if she came out and asked you if you had a girlfriend, and you said yes- then she could be the laughing stock of the company.
Advice: If you think this female colleague is into you, then let her continue to build a conversation thread with you. It won’t be long before she’ll make a deeper move at a company outing, school retreat, birthday party, friends giving, or holiday. Playing the reverse game here will pay dividends in the future.
#6 SHE CONTINUOUSLY WANTS TO BE AROUND YOU
Have you ever noticed a woman who always seems to be lingering around you? Maybe you play in a mixed-gender soccer league. You know, that girl who shows up early to the game because she knows you will be there warming up.
Or, perhaps there’s a woman in your friend circle who always sits next to you at group dinners? Or maybe there a girl at work who always wants to get coffee with you while on break?
These are basic flirting signals. This woman is in probe-mode. She feels comfortable around you and wants to share part of her day with you. Don’t even think of asking yourself “is she into me.” She definitely is.
Take the opportunity to ask her questions about herself. See if she opens up on a personal level with you. Does she talk about her dog, her family, or her upcoming weekend plans? If she does, it’s an open invitation for you to ask her on a date.
If you are also interested in her, this is the first step towards creating chemistry. Having strong chemistry is a fantastic building block for a solid eventual long term relationship.
Advice: Understand that women who like spending time with you are interested in learning more about you. Make eye contact with her. Ask her deep questions about life. This will make her feel even more comfortable with you.
Chances are, she will probably ask you out directly. And that’s a hint to our final flirting signal.
#7 SHE ASKS YOU TO “HANG OUT”
Some women are super direct-alpha types. They don’t beat around the bush. There are pros and cons towards dating women like this. Alpha women usually are planners. They go for what they want. They won’t let you float around in life at a subpar job. They’ll challenge you, and so on.
You gotta be a mentally strong man to date an alpha female. Just keep this in mind if you accept a date from this type of woman.
In today’s world, as chivalry has naturally slowed down- women are taking big initiatives towards asking men out. It’s not uncommon for women to ask men out, so don’t be surprised if it happens to you.
Advice: If a woman asks you out, and you are somewhat interested, say yes. There’s nothing wrong with exploring alpha females, especially if you are currently using my megadating strategy.
So there you have it…the top 7 flirting signs you should be aware of as a man.
Still not sure if the girl you like is flirting with you, or not? Wanna talk it over with me? Go ahead and book a new client coaching session on my calendar, and I’ll help you devise a strategy to win her over.
Every week I help single guys reach their dating goals – and you could be next.