It’s Emyli, America’s Online Dating Coach. You’re watching EmLovzTV, the place to be if you’re looking to meet and attract the perfect partner. Are you wondering how to increase your charisma? Wanna learn how to be a charismatic person?
Today we’re launching our three-part video series on how to increase your charisma. Over the course of the 3 videos below, you’re going to learn how to increase your own natural charisma.
A date is most effective when everything feels natural—the conversation flows smoothly, the environment is warm and inviting, and both parties have an instant rapport with one another.
In order to guarantee this outcome for yourself, you need to increase your charisma potential.
Why is this important? A charismatic person has the power to attract and persuade the highest value mates, regardless of their own personal physical appearance.
So How Do You Do It? Let’s start with Video and Part #1
Step 1: Get Outside and Talk to Everyone
In order to be charismatic and seem natural, it is important to talk to as many people as possible. The more people you talk to that aren’t dating targets, the more social proof you will accrue and the less defensive he or she will be when you talk to them. Practice makes perfect they say, especially when it comes to learning how to be a charismatic person.
Talking to as many people as you can within the same environment allows you to calibrate naturally and eliminate any weird timing issues. If you’re talking to many people in an environment with both men and women, young and old, beautiful and ugly, the most attractive people will be more likely to talk to you because they won’t instantly assume that you want something from them.
To start, simply practice initiating conversation with strangers. Try asking the barista at your local coffee shop how her day is going. Acknowledge people walking past you on the street with a nice smile and a “Good Morning.” Give a warm “Thank You” to the server who delivers your meal at lunch.
Step 2: Convert these Random Conversations into Meaningful Ones
Now that you’ve successfully mastered initiating conversation with strangers, try creating more meaningful interactions.
I define a meaningful conversation as: a conversation that lasts no fewer than 10 minutes, where both parties share at least 3 pieces of personal information with one another. Try creating 5 meaningful conversations per week, and you’ll surely be on your way to increasing your charisma naturally.
Now, on two video and part #2:
Step 3: Drop Your Ego
Stop trying to win the approval of others. No one cares how great you are unless your advantages are mutually beneficial. When you say, “I’m this” or “I can do that” you create distance by exclusion. It reminds the other person of what they’re lacking.
What you have and what you can do are yours and not something that can be shared. But when you share interesting facts or demonstrate your value, rather than explicitly try to state it, you allow the other person room to share it with you. What was once exclusive, the “I” statements, becomes inclusive because you’ve involved the other person in a “we” experience.
Step 4: Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Put yourself in semi awkward situations on purpose and pay attention to why you feel weird. Where does the sensation of awkwardness originate in the body. How do other people around you act? Are you being weird because they’re being weird?
Risk losing your comfort zone to gain immense confidence (a top tip for learning how to be a charismatic person). You can’t fully understand the ego until you’ve learned to see both sides. On one extreme, you must learn to drop your ego completely, on the other, conflate it to unheard of heights. If you’re looking for a specific experiment, try this one, that I used on myself during my 100-date experiment.
To start, try attending a singles speed-dating event. These are admittedly awful, but everyone is awkward at these types of places so you’ll fit in just fine. In fact, most people are so self-absorbed with their own sense of perceived self-worth, that they’ll barely notice any strange idiosyncrasies you might have. Once you’ve put yourself in the worst places and realized you can survive, then you’ll find meeting someone for a cup of coffee a total no-brainer.
And on to part 3, something to help you deal with rejection:
Now I wanna hear from you…did my video help you learn how to increase your charisma? Tell me about a time when you recently used my charisma strategies to your benefit…or even better, tell me about a time in your past when you absolutely blew it on your date because you lacked suave polish.
Wanna talk it over your specific dating situation with me? Feel free and book a coaching session on my calendar.
And keep up the good work because You Deserve the Perfect Partner!
A San Francisco Dating Coach Company