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12 Ways to Touch a Woman on a Date

12 Ways to Touch a Woman on a Date

Touching a woman is the quickest way to signal attraction, stoke that romantic fire, and have her leave the bar immediately and subsequently block you on all social media.

When it comes to touching your date, there’s a fine line between sexy and creepy. 

Learning to walk that line is an invaluable skill when you’re trying to find your forever partner.

So before you place that hand below in the no-go zone let’s talk about the best ways to make physical contact with a woman and build that attraction.

10 Simple Ways to Touch a Woman on a Date

Before you get your mack on there’s something you should know.

Touching a woman should be used as a supplemental way to increase mutual attraction. The main ways to build attraction are to make her laugh, be chivalrous, bond over similarities, etc. If you can’t do those things, touching her the right way isn’t going to win you a second date.

If however you two are starting to kindle that fire, touching her correctly can be a quick and powerful way to stoke that fire.

With that said, here are the best ways to touch her on a date that won’t encourage her to take a restraining order out on you.

1) Hug Her Hello

It’s so commonplace and simple that most of us take it for granted, however, you’d be missing a golden opportunity if you didn’t hug her hello.

That means if you two meet in a cafe or restaurant, get your butt out of that chair when she arrives and give her a hug.

The main reason you wouldn’t hug her hello (at first at least) is that it was inconvenient to do so. Maybe she immediately entered your car, or you two met while crossing the street, or her dog was blocking a clean hug, etc.

If an immediate hug is too difficult, at a more convenient time shortly after meeting, say…

“Oh I’m so sorry I didn’t even give you a hug hello, so rude”


It’s easy, smooth, and most importantly it breaks the touch barrier and naturalizes touching. Think of that initial hug as a doorway. It opens the door for more physical contact later on. If you two don’t exchange a hug while greeting, it may create an emotional distance between the two of you that could make later forms of physical contact a bit more awkward.

how to touch a woman

2) Show Her A Funny Video On Your Phone So She Has To Lean In Close To See It

You sly dog you.

Whoever said touching her had to be straightforward.

OMG she’s never seen the, it’s watermelon inside a watermelon vine?!

You positively must show her.

Bust out your phone and stand beside her as you play it. You two will be in super close proximity. Chances are you’ll bump into each other and your faces will be just a couple of inches away from one another.

The more time you spend in close proximity without anything weird happening, the more you normalize touch and closeness.

3) Guide Her Through A Door And Touch The Small Of Her Back

This move is one part chivalry one part smooth.

What I like most is how organic it is. The best way to touch a woman is to put yourself in a position where it would almost be weird not to touch her.

As you two are walking into a bar or restaurant open the door for her and guide her through. Another innocuous way to touch her is to take her hand as you two cross a busy street or navigate a crowded bar or area. You can also jokingly hold her back from crossing a street for fear that she’ll be hit. Tell her that you couldn’t have her getting run over before you two eat.

4) Take A Sudden Interest In Her Hands

If she’s wearing a ring, bracelet, or has interesting nails, grab her hand and say “let me see that” or “nice nails—very sparkly” or something else that’s funny and playful.

Of course, this is a preconceived move so you may have to feign sudden interest in her hands in order to pull it off.

This move can also work for a tattoo of hers.

If you spot a tattoo but can’t really see it hold out your hands and ask for her arm. Then while holding her arm point to her tattoo and ask her questions about it. Just be sure your touch doesn’t linger and that you give her autonomy over her arm shortly after looking at her ink.

how to touch a woman

5) Jokingly Push Or Bump Her

Ever crack a joke and then nudge your buddy?

You can pull that same move with a woman you’re dating.

It feels natural to initiate touch when you’re cracking jokes with a woman. Maybe she’s teasing you about your jacket then you hit back by cracking one about her jacket design then touching it to drive home your point.

Butt bumps, fist bumps, and putting your hand on her upper back are all encouraged.

6) Brush The Hair Off Of Her Shoulder

This one isn’t for the timid.

It’s a bold move but one that signals interest.

If you two are already hitting it off and you’re not scared that she may run away after pulling off such an intimate move go for it.

7) Wipe Something Off Her Cheek

Don’t expect this to be some super sexy move that will make her want to jump into bed with you.

If you’re brushing something off her cheek that shouldn’t be there she may feel slightly embarrassed – especially if it’s food.

When wiping something off, acknowledge perhaps make light of the fact that it looks like she forgot where her mouth is located. Use levity when touching her in this way.

8) Give Her Your Jacket To Wear If She’s Cold (you should wear warm clothes just in case)

This is a classic move.

Offer your jacket but then tell her you’re still cold.

If she’s into you she’ll grab you and pull you in close to warm the both of you up. If she doesn’t offer just put your arm around her as you two walk down the street. You’re doing so under the guise of keeping her warm.

9) Tell Her You’ll Be Right Back 

Before running off to the bar or bathroom, touch her back or hands and tell her that you’ll be right back. This of course only works if you two are close enough that you’re not reaching across a massive table and are at full stretch to make contact.

Pro Tip: When sitting down at a square table, choose the seat next to her. This will make touching her easier than if you’re on the other side of the table. 

10) Hey Look At That!

Whenever you see something worth taking note of touch her to get her attention and tell her what all the fuss is about.

If you’re at a pastry shop, tap her on the back and say wow look at those super duper amazing pastries that we absolutely have to gore out on… or something like that.

If you’re walking down the street tap her and say wow, did you see “x”?

11) Hug Her Goodbye And Ideally Kiss Her

While this is ideal it won’t work for everyone.

First, you really need to gauge how into you she is.

You can do this by paying attention to how often she laughs at your dumb jokes, initiates contact, and is vibing with you.

To play things safe (yet sexy) steal this move…

When you end the date go in for the hug and kiss her on the cheek. Then say, oh I have to show this other cheek some love too. When saying this, put your hand on her chin and turn her head towards you. If she’s feeling it, linger for a moment and gauge her body language. If she’s feeling it, go in for the kiss. If this is a first or second date, kiss for a few moments then out of respect pull back. If she wants more she’ll tell you.

If you don’t feel 100% comfortable kissing her on the lips, still kiss both cheeks. If she’s feeling you she may well kiss you on the lips when you go to kiss her cheek.

Men aren’t the only sex that likes to initiate sexy time. 

12) The Classic High-Five

Maybe most of these moves are out of your comfort zone.

That’s fine.

We’ll start even smaller.

It doesn’t get more low-stakes than by dishing her a high five. When you two have something in common simply give her a high five or fist bump. This is a safe and super easy way to initiate contact.

While you may think it’s minor, any and all consensual touching is a good thing when getting to know a woman. It doesn’t matter how minor it is, if you two are touching it means you’re normalizing touch in your relationship. If she’s okay fist-bumping and high-fiving you it’s time to maybe turn it up a notch.

how to touch a woman

Learn The Right Moves

Now you know how to touch a woman, but are you in a position to use these moves?

Do you have a date this Friday?

If not, maybe we should chat.

With our program, Dating Decoded we teach men how to meet women online and IRL. Via our online curriculum, weekly live strategy sessions, online curriculum, and mock dates we teach men everything they need to know about the modern dating scene.

If you’re struggling to find a date, team up with us and we’ll show you how it’s done.

We’ll also dive deeper into how to plan an amazing first date, how to converse like a pro, and how to touch her in just the right way.

But first, let’s talk via a 1-on-1 Zoom call. 

And if you want to learn more about how the dating lives of our students have changed since enrolling, check out our reviews.

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