How to Find a Long Term Girlfriend
When it comes to modern dating culture, it can be difficult to find partners that share your interest in settling down into a long term relationship.
Women are more independent than ever, which is an amazing thing, but also means that less and less are looking for long term relationships. If you’re a millennial, dating has become especially difficult when it comes to settling down with someone.
According to statistics, the median age for a first marriage is 27 for women and 29 for men. And it is predicted that “an unprecedented number of millennials will remain unmarried through age 40.”
Again, these statistics are a good sign that people are feeling independent enough to choose when to get married — if they even want to get married at all — rather than view marriage and family as a required rite of passage.
However, if you’re wondering how to find a long term girlfriend to settle down with and even have a family with, these changing times can come with some points of frustration. But don’t worry — all hope is not lost. By using some strategic dating techniques, you can find a long term relationship with a woman who fits right into your life.
How to Find a Long Term Girlfriend
Strategy #1: Fix Your Finances
If you’re currently in debt or financial insecurity is affecting your daily life, you’re going to want to fix your finances before searching for love. Now don’t worry, I’m not saying this because I’m encouraging you to spend a ton of money on women while dating (I’ll get more into that in a bit), but because what’s in your bank account can seriously affect your self-esteem.
Even if a woman is extremely successful, having a steady job and being financially secure is going to bring you more success in the dating world because:
- Women naturally crave security
- Financial stress will be one less thing you have to worry about in the dating world
- You’ll be able to pay for the first three dates, which demonstrates chivalry and puts you above the competition
Strategy #2: Improve Your Sense of Self Worth
When you feel good about yourself and worthy of love, you exude a positivity that people are naturally attracted to. Feeling worthy helps you in every facet of your life, and there are some ways you can easily improve your confidence if this is an area you struggle in:
Exercise releases endorphins, which are feel-good hormones that naturally elicit a sense of well-being. And you don’t have to be a jacked bodybuilder to experience the benefits. Studies show that low- to moderate-intensity exercises seem to have the most positive effects on self-esteem. These exercises can include things like:
Anything that makes you feel good and that you can do for about 30 minutes a day, four to five days a week should offer you a major mood and confidence boost.
Get Proper Sleep
You may find this surprising, but a lack of proper shut-eye can be extremely detrimental to your mood and overall self-esteem. If you have trouble getting to sleep or want to improve the quality of your sleep, Healthy Place offers the following tips:
- Decrease caffeine intake
- Take “mindfulness breaks” at work that include a brief meditation
- Give yourself one hour before bedtime to “wind down” by listening to a guided meditation
- Avoid things like television, iPhones, tablets and other electronics before bed, as these can keep you up at night
- Sleep in a room that is cool, cozy and dark. Make sure you have plenty of comfy blankets and pillows to help ease you into slumber
Exercising, getting a good night’s sleep and eating healthy are the perfect trifecta when it comes to improving your confidence, and looking and feeling your best. And all this will make it much easier to find a long term girlfriend.
Things like refined sugars, gluten, dairy, and caffeine can trigger anxiety and depression. According to the Harvard Health Blog, the way that certain foods are metabolized can leave you feeling upset or anxious due to something called the “gut-brain axis.” About 95% of our serotonin receptors (which have a profound effect on mood) are found in the lining of the gut, which is why a stomach ache can result in feelings that go way beyond the physical.
Try to stick to foods that are whole (as in, don’t have many ingredients and are unprocessed), full of vitamins, and contain things like fiber or lean proteins.
Like exercise, the act of smiling — even a fake smile — causes our brains to release hormones that put us in a good mood. Even if you’re feeling down, cracking a grin can actually “trick” your mind into happiness.
Women also enjoy positivity and like a man with a sense of humor, so showing off your pearly whites and cracking some jokes with her will increase your likelihood and developing a romantic connection.
Wear Things That Make You Feel Sexy
Retail therapy isn’t just for women. When you dress in a way that makes you feel sexy, get a haircut and try some new cologne that you feel good about, it’s not considered vanity — it’s self-care.
When you feel good about the way you look, your confidence increases and women are attracted to confident men.
Now that we’ve covered why security and confidence are important in readying yourself for a serious relationship, let’s dive into how to find a long term girlfriend by MegaDating and how to choose the correct places/venues to meet women.
Strategy #3: MegaDate
I wanted to get to this strategy as early as possible because it is pretty much the most important and effective strategy you can use in the dating world. I used MegaDating during my 100-date experiment, back when I was wondering if love even existed. MegaDating made dating fun rather than frustrating and by the end of my experiment, I found myself in a fulfilling, long term relationship. It worked for me and it can work for you too!
So what is MegaDating? MegaDating is a dating process that involves going on dates with several different people at the same time in order to diffuse energy and keep your social calendar full. MegaDating is not about sneaking around or being a player. It is simply about showing yourself that there is plenty of fish in the sea so that you can crush your dating goals faster.
Other benefits of MegaDating include:
- Decreased anxiety
- Improved self-esteem
- Lessened pain during rejection
- Makes partners naturally more interested in you
- Less thoughts in your head like needing a girlfriend to feel whole
There are several ways to MegaDate without exhausting yourself or breaking the bank, which I will detail in the remainder of this article.
Strategy #4: Choose a Variety of Places to Meet Women
It is easy to relegate all your dating ventures to the bar scene, as this is where a lot of singles hang out and bars tend to be plentiful regardless of where you live. Plus, alcohol can ease nerves and lower inhibitions, which — in theory — would make it easier to approach women.
But while I’m not opposed to meeting someone at a bar, you definitely don’t want to make this the sole venue you use to meet women and possibly find a long term girlfriend.
Remember that alcohol — while fine in moderation — can also lead to things like one-night stands and make you act in a way that isn’t authentic. Moreover, while women from all walks of life come to bars, some of these women may be alcoholics, and addiction issues basically guarantee a bad relationship, rather than a long term girlfriend.
MegaDating is all about variety, so explore several different options when it comes to dating, such as:
- Online dating sites and apps
- Through mutual friends (let a trusted friend know that you are looking to meet someone and see about them introducing you to someone they like you’d be compatible with)
- Meetup groups where you can find women that share your interests
- Speed dating events — do a simple Google search or visit websites like Eventbrite to find speed dating events near you
- Group workout classes
- An adult sports league
- improv class
Going on weekend trips with connected friends
Strategy #5: Be Open to Rejection
Look, I get it. Rejection sucks. It can feel so bad, that lots of guys will avoid asking girls out at all in order to prevent this pain. But when you avoid rejection, you also avoid the opportunity to make connections with different people and eventually find a long term girlfriend.
Believe it or not, getting rejected is actually a good thing. Rejection prevents you from ruminating over “What if?” and it also provides a lot of growth and opportunity. The more you put yourself out there, the easier it will be and — remember — when you MegaDate, you lessen the pain of rejection and will be rejected less and less thanks to an increase in confidence. As they say, practice makes perfect.
At the end of the day, getting rejected is simply part of the process when trying to find a long term girlfriend – there’s no way around it, so embrace it!
Strategy #6: Craft Compelling Date Ideas
One way to decrease your chances of rejection and to make you stand out from other guys is by crafting compelling date ideas. It’s easy to fall into a rut of asking a girl out to dinner, for coffee or a drink, but this doesn’t give her something that she basically can’t refuse.
To really increase your success in the dating world, craft compelling date ideas that are based on shared interests, while also introducing her to an experience she hasn’t had before.
For example, let’s say that the girl you want to ask out is a big history buff who also likes to get active. You could offer her an option like this:
“Hey Sarah, have you been to Caffe Trieste? It’s this really cool coffee shop with a crazy backstory. I know you like history, so I was thinking this would be a great place for us to grab a latte and learn a little something. It’s close to North Beach, so we can take a walk after and enjoy the weather. How would you like to meet me at the cafe this Saturday at 1pm, date-style?”
Not only is the above example compelling, it also shows dexterous use of the date’s call-to-action — what we here at EmLovz as a TDL.
A TDL is an acronym for Time, Date and Location. When you ask a girl on a date, you want to make sure that you give her all the specifics she needs to know exactly when and where a date is taking place. A lot of times guys ask women out for “a drink” or “to grab a bite,” without giving any specifics, so both parties have to figure it out as they go. This can end up being frustrating and can increase the chances of her rejecting your date or canceling.
Strategy #7: Use This Blueprint for the First Three Dates
If you want to go from dating a woman to making her your long term girlfriend, you need to be very strategic with your first three dates. As I mentioned, MegaDating is one of the most effective dating strategies you can use. But I’m sure some of you are wondering how exactly you are supposed to go out with several different women at once if you’re not rolling in dough.
No worries! One way to MegaDate without breaking the bank — and to also strategically build chemistry with the right person — is to use this blueprint for the first three dates:
First date: This date should be no longer than an hour, should take place during the daytime (between 11 am and 2 pm) and should cost no more than $15. Saturdays are the best days for dates, followed closely by Wednesdays and Thursdays. Sundays and Mondays are the worst days for dates since people have work on the brain and that can automatically kill the mood. The purpose of the first date is to build trust and rapport.
Second date: This date should be active and free. Things like hiking, visiting museums and doing a picnic at a park or the beach can make for awesome second dates. Because these dates are active, it’s easier to naturally break the touch barrier and escalate sexual tension.
Third date: Once you get to the third date, you can go all out with an intimate dinner. This is the date where you can assess whether or not you and the girl you’re on a date with are a good fit as far as morals and values go. This is also the date where physical intimacy often occurs.
#8: Hire a Dating Coach or a Matchmaker (or Both)
If you’re looking to find a long term girlfriend, there’s no better solution than hiring a dating coach and/or matchmaker to help you with your search.
Dating coaches can teach you how to use dating apps, setup successful first, second and third dates. They can also strategize with you during those difficult situations that arise in between dates.
Matchmakers alleviate all the headaches that come along with dating apps. They source, interview, and setup dates per your specification.
Here at emlovz we offer both services.
If you’re interested in learning more book a new client 30 minute Zoom session with our coaching team or matchmaking team today to learn more.
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