Day: April 20, 2023

The Best Dating Coach In Columbia Maryland To Help You Date Again

Columbia, Maryland is one of the best cities to live in the US.

That’s not my opinion, but rather what Money.com has to say about it.

According to the website, Columbia is the country’s sixth-best city to settle down in. Money loves it so much because of its diverse population, safety, high population of young adults, and its wealth of activities. It’s also a growing city with a gorgeous downtown area, new central park, and plenty of beautiful natural spaces for city dwellers to seek refuge. It’s a city without big-city issues.

While Columbia Maryland is undoubtedly a good place to live it’d be an even better city if you had a girlfriend to share it with. But finding a GF in Columbia might be difficult according to WalletHub. Every year WalletHub ranks the best cities to be single in. Out of 182 cities Columbia came in at 174.

WalletHub claims it’s too pricey, doesn’t offer enough entertainment, and has too few dating opportunities. So sure the city is a great place to live, but perhaps not if you’re single.

But let’s take this with a grain of salt. I mean is Columbia MD really a worse place to be single in than Montgomery, Alabama, or Jackson, MS?

No.

There are plenty of ways to meet women, you just have to learn from the expert.

The Best Dating Coach In Columbia MD – emlovz

There are plenty of dating coaches out there worth swiping right on, but only one you want to super like.

emlovz has helped thousands of men get what they want — a lifelong partner.

We specialize in helping men — and only men — find not just any partner, but a highly compatible partner. We help men find love by equipping them with the skills they need to get out there and actively find love rather than wait around for something to happen.

Our dating strategy, MegaDating, has been used all over the USA and yes, can even be applied in Columbia.

So what exactly is this philosophy that you too will soon apply to your dating life?

MegaDating

Be honest with me.

How many dates have you gone on in the last month? What about the last 6 months or year?

If you’re here, reading this article about the best dating coach in Columbia, I’m going to guess the number isn’t one you’re happy about.

It goes without saying that you can’t find a girlfriend if you don’t date.

That’s why we teach men how to tap their social channels to find dates. But it’s not like we want you to date one or two ladies than throw a ring on her finger. We want you to date dozens of women.

Chances are you won’t fall in love with the first or second woman you date. We teach students how to date various women at once so as to quickly find their ideal partner. Dating one time for every Terrapin NCAA bid isn’t enough. It leads to oneitis (falling for the first woman that makes eyes your way).

We want you to try all the flavors of the rainbow before choosing which woman you want to call your own.

But hey, this sounds nice and all, but how do you do it?

The Well Of Singles

There is a well of singles so deep that it will never run dry. Whenever you want to score a date you simply go to the well. The thing is, not everyone has access to it.

The well that I’m referring to is online dating.

More than 40% of new relationships start online and more than 30% of adults have used dating apps at one point in time.

All the women you can ever hope to meet are online.

Even though American women don’t love dating apps, the majority of single women still use them. That makes apps like Hinge, Bumble, and Tinder the single best place to meet single women. Apps are like virtual speed dating events that never end and have limitless attendees.

While this means the well is bottomless, the ubiquity of dating apps poses another problem — competition.

Apps like Tinder have a male-to-female user ratio of 9 to 1 (Bumble is more like 7 to 3).

To have any chance of getting looks from the thousands of single women in Columbia, you’ll have to create a competitive profile.

At emlovz we understand the value of meeting women online. That’s why we dedicate a large chunk of our online curriculum (in our coaching program) to optimizing your dating profile. We help you snap photos, figure out what to wear, how to pose, how to choose the right photos, how to write a compelling bio, respond to prompts, etc.

We also have as many profile reviews as you like. How you present online is your key to gaining access to the well. We also have Mia, our social media specialist to help optimize your social media accounts like Instagram. It may seem odd to chat up women via IG but nowadays it’s commonplace.

But profile creation is just one aspect of meeting women online.

MegaMessaging

It shouldn’t surprise you to learn that most women have inboxes that look like this…

A litany of messages that either say hey, or some weak variation.

While online dating is competitive, it’s less so when you invest a little bit into not only creating your profile, but sending thoughtful messages to the lovely ladies of Tinder.

Sending hello, as an opening message will almost never lead to a response, not even if you’re Zac Efron.

What if you could shoot opening messages that were nearly guaranteed responses? Or at least give them a much, much better shot of a response.

In our coaching program, we’ll teach you how to use the little information offered by dating profiles to create a compelling opening message. After that we’ll teach you how to quickly get to know her via text and steer the conversation toward asking her out with a TDL.

TDL stands for time, date, and location.

When asking her out you need to be specific. You have to supply her with concrete information. Doing so makes the date request real. Too often guys ask out women by saying, wanna go out sometime?

Even if she says yes, you still don’t have a date lined up.

Using a TDL and asking her on a compelling date increases the odds she’ll say yes.

When asking her on a first date keep the following in mind:

Should take place during the day
Midweek
Less than $20
Under an hour
Do something she loves
Close to her work or home

Brief, cheap, and fun dates are the way to go. They not only ensure she’ll agree to the date but also mean you’re not spending all your time and money on a single person. Remember you’re MegaDating, you’re seeing various women at the same time. You don’t have the time or money to splash hundreds of dollars on strangers every week.

The First Four Dates

The women of Columbia have full social calendars. They’re busy with work, have friends, hobbies, and lives of their own.

If your dates aren’t providing her with the enjoyment she’s looking for she’s not going to waste any more of her precious time with you.

It’s harsh, but true.

As the best dating coach in Columbia (not a humble brag) emlovz will teach you how to have amazing first, second, and third dates.

As this relationship is still young these three dates are the most vital. One wrong move could get you ghosted.

Avoid this by planning awesome initial dates.

When planning these dates keep the following in mind:

First Dates – $20 and under an hour

Second Dates – Free and active

Third Dates – An unforgettable night out on the town

But having great dates is more than just about planning.

It’s about knowing how to converse with her, communicating in between dates, touch her to increase sexual tension, and quickly build attraction.

In our program, Dating Decoded we’ll show you how to do it all. What’s more we not only show you via our online curriculum and weekly live coaching sessions but we give you an opportunity to practice what you’ve learned.

Mock Dates

Audrey, Brooke, and Cat are our three mock-date specialists.

Whether in person or online you’ll have a chance to practice what you’ve learned with these women.

After the date you’ll receive detailed feedback of what went right and what areas are in need of improvement.

Don’t you wish you could go on a date and receive honest feedback from the woman you just went out with.

Here’s your chance.

Teaching you dating skills without practicing them IRL prior to a date is like practicing to play the piano by watching videos but never sitting down and playing a real-life piano.

Best Columbia First Date Ideas

After teaming up with emlovz you’ll start scoring dates in no time.

The question for you is what date should you bring her on?

That all depends on what you and her are both into. Ideally, you two find a common interest and go on a date where you two can enjoy that shared interest.

But sometimes you can’t easily form a date around a shared hobby or interest. When in doubt check out one of these first-date ideas for Columbia, Maryland.

Kayak Lake Kittamaqundi

If you have a kayak or canoe, hit the local lake with your new flame. If you don’t have a kayak why not suggest bringing your dogs to the lake for a walk and a swim? Be sure to pack a couple of craft beers in your bag so you can sip on something tasty and cool during your walk.

Hit A Brewery

Between Black Flag, Sapwood Cellars, Frisco, and Pub Dog, you have quite a few breweries to choose from.

Breweries are cheap, easy, great for an after-work date and more often than not have activities like lawn games and trivia. If you two are trivia nerds I recommend teaming up!

Monster Mini Golf

It’s quirky, fun, and at $13 per person, it’s just cheap enough for a first date.

And when you two are done with golfing around monsters hit up the arcade for a beer and a Tetris tournament.

Time to get your putt on as you look to score a hole-in-one on your first date… unless she’s more into pickleball.

Start Dating with emlovz

Book a 1-on-1 Zoom call to transform your romantic life.

If you want to know what your life could look like, just check out how our students’ lives have changed as a result of enrolling in our program, Dating Decoded.

No Matches on Bumble? 14 Things You Can Do

No matches on Bumble?

Have you been swiping and swiping on Bumble to no avail?

If you’ve been getting absolutely no matches on Bumble, you’ve come to the right place!

During my 100-date experiment, I analyzed a surplus of dating profiles.

I discovered what works, what doesn’t usually work, and what you should avoid at all costs. No matches on Bumble? The reasons may surprise you, and can also be easily fixed. Check out my strategies on how to get more matches, so that you can connect with quality women online — and build chemistry during real-life dates.

No Matches on Bumble?

Strategy #1: Connect Your Instagram and Spotify

One of the convenient things about Bumble (here’s an article to help you get more matches on Bumble) is that some of the profile information is pre-populated using your Facebook account. This allows people to see your location, name, and you also have a variety of photos to choose from that you have already posted on social media.

Another thing you can do — if you haven’t done so already — is to connect your Instagram and Spotify accounts to your Bumble. And if you don’t have these accounts, consider signing up for them.

Women tend to get bombarded with creepy messages when it comes to online dating and can be particularly wary when using the apps. If you have a Spotify and Instagram, it gives a woman more information to evaluate and more opportunities for her to relate to you, making her more compelled to swipe right.

Your mission is for her to see you as a human – not just another profile of a stranger. You want her to envision who you are. This is much easier to do if you supply her with more info about yourself. Simply connect your IG and wait for the matches to roll in.

And if you follow my first date tips for men blueprint, you know that the first step in dating is to build trust and rapport through shared interests.

Strategy #2: Set a Swiping Goal

One reason for your lack of Bumble matches is because you don’t have a swiping goal. I recommend setting a swiping goal each day so you can measure your progress and alter it accordingly.

For example, let’s say that you swipe 40 times a day. That ends up adding up to 280 swipes each week, which comes out to 280 chances to match with women each week. Or set a 15-minute alarm. After the 15 minutes are up, put the phone down and move on with your day.

Make sure that you don’t under- or over-swipe. Forty to fifty is a pretty solid number to start with, and if you’re still getting no matches, analyze some of the things you could be doing differently with your profile based on my tips.

Another thing to keep in mind is that Bumble isn’t the only dating app out there. At emlovz we recommend consistently using 5 dating apps. Figure out which apps are best for you – for sure download Bumble and Hinge – and spend 10-15 minutes on these apps every day.

Strategy #3: Expand Your Distance Preferences

Another way to improve your number of matches on Bumble is to expand your distance preferences. There could be a great woman living just a few miles outside of your city, but you’ll never know if you have very narrow preferences.

If you live in a city, try expanding your search about 10-15 miles outside city limits. There are a lot of potentials who could be trying to move into your city, so keep an open mind. If you live in the country or a rural environment, I recommend expanding your settings a bit further, maybe up to 30-40 miles, or more. This way you’ll get more possible matches – but be realistic with yourself on how far you’re willing to travel to meet a date.

Strategy #4: Expand Your Age Preferences

It’s common for men to set their age preferences to women their own age or a little bit younger. But doing this may prevent you from connecting with a really compatible partner that you wouldn’t meet otherwise.

To test this out, give yourself a wide age range. Usually, an age gap of a decade or an age gap that follows the rule of half your age plus 7 is a pretty good range. But there can be a lot of benefits of dating both younger or older women, as well as those your age.

Basically, keep your options open so you can get as many matches and enjoy as many informative dating experiences as possible.

Strategy #5: Assess Your Photos

Believe it or not, photos are only one thing that can land you matches. You shouldn’t rely solely on good photos to get women to swipe right, but your pictures are important when it comes to making a great first impression.

Take a look at the photos you currently have on your Bumble profile and ask yourself the following questions:

Am I Smiling in All of My Photos?

If you’ve been brooding in your photos because you assume women want men that smolder à la Enrique Iglesias circa 2001 — quit it. You may think that you’re the image of sultry intensity, but this often just translates as creepy when you’re a virtual stranger and all the women have to go on is a photo.

Make sure that all your photos are of you smiling and exuding positivity and confidence. This is what women are truly drawn to when it comes to online dating photos.

Am I Wearing Clothing?

If the answer is “no,” put your damn pants and shirt on. I don’t care if you have abs like Ryan Gosling, you shouldn’t be posting shirtless or almost-naked photos online for all the world to see. If you have a great body, congratulations, and know that women will be able to tell if you’re wearing a fitted shirt.

But when you post a photo that shamelessly shows off how swoll you just got at the gym, women aren’t going to take you seriously.

One outfit that tends to look good on pretty much every guy includes:

-A long-sleeve fitted beige Henley.

-A nice pair of jeans or slacks. My boyfriend’s super into Warp + Weft lately. They look great and he says they are super comfortable and affordable.

-Navy Dockers, Converse or All Star shoes.

Can She Tell Who I Am in My Photos?

Don’t post photos that leave women feeling like they’re playing a game of Where’s Waldo? Save group shots for your third and/or last shot.

The first couple photos should make it clear beyond a shadow of a swipe left what you look like:

-Make the first photo one that is a headshot, in focus (they should actually all be in focus), where you are engaging with the camera using good eye contact and smiling.

-The second photo should be a full-body shot, where you are standing with your shoulders back in a confident pose. Make sure to smile!

Am I Wearing Sunglasses or a Hat in My Photos?

If so, take them off so she knows you’re not attempting to hide your looks or go incognito for some suspect reason.

Strategy #6: No Selfies

Let’s play a quick game.

Guess how many swipes right this Tinder user has ever received?

Answer: 1.

There’s always going to be that one person with a weird selfie bathroom fetish, but apart from that one voyeur, no other women are down for bathroom selfies.

But hey, sometimes you can take the selfie out of the bathroom, but never the selfie out of the man.

Selfies are great for IG stories and Snapchat messages – that’s it!

Photos of you, taken by you, that only have you in them, make you look vain and friendless.

Even a selfie in front of the Great Wall of China or Eifell Tower are kind of depressing if taken as a selfie. Trust me you have better photos to choose from, you just need to find them.

Strategy #7: Complete Your Profile

If you haven’t done so already, make sure that you fill out everything in your profile, including where you work, where you went to school, your bio, etc.

It may not seem like a big deal to you, but Bumble and other apps tend to favor people with complete bios — and curate them accordingly — since lots of spam bots and scammers attempt to use these apps.

Women also appreciate men who have completed a bio. It provides them with more insight into who you actually are, which will make them more likely to want to connect with you. Also, completing your bio shows that you’re good at completing tasks and are less likely to be a lazy boyfriend.

There are several bios I’ve seen guys post that simply say, “I’ll fill this out later,” and it’s always a big turn-off.

So if you haven’t already, finish filling out your profile!

Strategy #8: Craft a Compelling Bio

Yes, women do read your bios and taglines and what you put in your bio does matter regardless of how really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking you are.

Bumble gives you 300 words for a bio, so make them count.

Make sure that you don’t do anything too generic with your bio. Dating apps and other online fodder basically program people to have limited attention spans, so make sure you grab her attention immediately. Use the following tips when writing your bio to make yourself stand out and increase your number of matches:

-Use humor.

If you’re not a super funny guy, consider putting a funny quote from a movie or a stand-up comedian at the end of your bio.

-Be positive and upbeat.

-Mention your interests, including anything nerdy, creative or unique

-Be authentic and honest. Don’t include generic information that everyone uses or just list things you think women want to hear

-Pepper in emojis where appropriate (see my article on the best Tinder bios for good examples regarding how to use an emoji properly)

There are also plenty of things to avoid at all costs when crafting a bio, including:

-Anything, mean, negative or sarcastic

-Substituting words for a stream of nonsensical emojis that don’t mean anything

-Being overly explicit when it comes to sex

-Using profanity

-Saying generic things like “I like food,” “I like sports,” “I love everyone”

Strategy #9: Use Bumble Prompts

There are a number of things that separate Bumble from other dating apps, from its obligatory female-first messaging to its extensive profile offerings.

Along with writing a bio, including photos, and filling out in-depth profile questions, you can also demonstrate your personality by answering dating prompts.

Bumble has dozens of prompts to respond to including:

It’s Meant To Be If…

I’m Hope You…

A Fun Fact I’m Obsessed With…

When writing a prompt try to be:

Witty
Revealing
Unique

Any response that has at least one of these elements is bound to be a winner.

Strategy #10: Switch to Another App or Explore Different Ways to Meet Women

I always advise my clients to have a variety of options in their arsenal when it comes to meeting women.

If you’re not having any luck with Bumble, turn off the app for a while and switch to another free dating site or app, like Tinder, Hinge or Coffee Meets Bagel. See if your luck is different on those apps and also consider how you could apply your success on these other apps to your Bumble account.

Strategy #11: Be Considerate

More often than not things won’t go your way online.

Women will pass you by and even when you do get a match, chances are she won’t respond to messages.

That’s just how it is when the ladies of Bumble have infinite men to choose from. For them dating apps are like buffets, they can have whatever they want. When she’s inundated with options she’s always likely to level up and spend her limited time texting her #1 option.

It’s frustrating but you have to keep you cool.

Blowing up on a woman might just get you banned or shadowbanned. Bumble has a more lenient banning policy than other dating apps.

Strategy #12: Ditch Bumble (or at least take a break)

Who says you only need to meet women online?

Sure, the most common way to meet women is online, but it’s this stat that leads men to over-rely on dating apps. Take a step back and invest in meeting women the good old fashioned way, IRL.

Look to meet women at the following places:

Meetup groups that cater to your interests
Speed dating events, which you can find with a simple Google search or by using websites like Eventbrite
At a friend’s event
Adult sports leagues
A group workout class
Street fairs or festivals

The most important thing is to remember to put yourself out there in a variety of ways. And one way to really crush your guys while doing this is through MegaDating, which brings me to my final strategy when it comes to getting no matches on Bumble.

Strategy #13: MegaDate

One of the best ways to improve your dating game, crush your goals, and stay out of the friend-zone is to MegaDate. MegaDating is a dating process that involves dating several different women at the same time in order to diffuse energy and keep your calendar full.

MegaDating is not about sleeping around or being a player. It is a strategy that allows you to meet a compatible partner at a faster rate than you would if you focused on going on dates with one person at a time. MegaDating also lessens the pain of rejection and prevents you from getting caught up in chasing after women or settling for the mediocre.

I used MegaDating as my main strategy during my 100-date experiment. It helped me find a compatible, long-term partner. Guess what? It can do the same for you!

Strategy #14: Don’t Pay For Bumble

Is you have no matches on Bumble you’re probably considering paying for the app.

Don’t.

Paying for an app that doesn’t work for you is like buying a super nice tennis racket in the hopes it will improve your crappy backhand.

You can’t purchase a magical fix.

Paying for Bumble won’t get you the results you want. Sure paying for the app will allow you to swipe without end, super like women, boost your profile, and change your swiping location, along with other benefits. What it won’t allow you to do is magically score more matches.

You should only pay for the app if your profile is already getting matches.

So how do you do that?

No Matches on Bumble? I Have A Solution

At emlovz we’ve created an online curriculum in part dedicated to addressing online dating. We teach men how to create amazing profiles, which photos to choose, how to A/B test photos and profiles, how to message women on apps, and most importantly how to pivot away from these apps and into the real world.

We also require students to fill out an Ideal Girlfriend spreadsheet where they’ll ultimately be able to find keywords to use in their profile that will attract their ideal partner.

Once you start scoring matches our online curriculum and live sessions will get you ready to take your lady out. You’ll learn how to have amazing first, second, and third dates, how to have a quality conversation, and of course how to turn up the heat. Once you’re ready to date we don’t just throw you to the wolves (however pretty they might be). Instead, we set you up on a mock date with one of our mock date specialists where you’ll practice what you’ve learned in a safe yet realistic setting.

Only once you’ve started our program, Dating Decoded, and made optimized your profile should you consider paying for a dating app.

If you would like to increase your online dating matches, have more fun as you explore the dating world, and find the girl of your dreams, head over to my calendar and book a New Client 1-on-1 Zoom session with me or one of my colleagues today.

During our session, we will discuss your dating roadblocks and come up with an action plan to help you achieve your goals.

If you want to know what our students are saying about us just check out their success stories here.

Do Dating Apps Work For Men in 2023: Yes & Here’s Why…

Do dating apps work for men?

First let’s start with this fact: 30% of all Americans have at one point used a dating application. What used to be taboo and stigmatized is now the new norm.

The elderly use Match and the young and vivacious swipe on Tinder while the more urbane singles download Hinge. There are dating apps that target Jewish singles, farmers, and even dog lovers. Everybody (and yes, even their mother) has used dating apps. The ubiquity of dating apps leads us to believe that of course dating apps work, but that’s not what the data says.

Sure over 8 million Americans have downloaded Tinder, but of those millions and millions of single Americans, just 50% of them have ever gone on a date with a match. This is because so many users — on Tinder and other apps — use dating apps to boost confidence rather than to find a forever partner.

With this stat in mind, it’s fair to ask the question…

Do Dating Apps Work for Men?

That all depends on what your goal is and how you’re using these apps.

If you want a long-term partner but get one match every month, then no, they don’t work.

Your ability to create an appealing profile and chat up women online dictate your success rate. Dating apps get you in front of women but it’s up to you to outcompete fellow males.

Dating apps do work, but certainly not for everyone.

Someone who is in favor of dating apps has to be our student David who met his current girlfriend on Hinge.

Why Apps Feel Like They Don’t Work

The Business Of Dating Apps

Imagine there was a dating app on the market that was so effective that after three months of use 90% of its users had found a girlfriend or boyfriend. If such an app existed, clearly everyone would use it… just not for very long. That’s great for the user but bad for the company whose ultimate objective is to make money.

The mission of dating apps is first to make money and second to find you a girlfriend.

Crafting a dating app that ensures its users find love is akin to drenching your business in gasoline and lighting it on fire. This is why the ideal dating app doesn’t exist.

In reality, dating apps are designed to keep you single and addicted. The longer they keep you around for, the more time and money you’ll spend on the application. The neediest of singles sign up for premium subscriptions that require a monthly payment, but dating apps don’t even need subscribers to make money. Now that apps utilize ads all they need are a myriad of users that ideally log on multiple times a day.

The Reality Of Dating Apps (Quantified)

Everyone uses dating apps because of they promise… but do these apps keep their promises?

Let’s look at how effective dating apps are by the numbers.

While 48% of singles ages 18-29 have used a dating app, just 17% have ever been in a committed relationship with someone they met on a dating app. We see that percentage decline as users get older with just 16% of those ages 30-49 ever having dated someone they met on an app.

Sure a third of Americans have swiped right on a dating app, but 43% of these singles have described their experience with dating apps as “negative.”

But the question needs to be asked – is it the app’s fault or the user’s?

Of course both are to blame, but do men really expect to score matches when their Bumble profile is full of bathroom selfies?

Men can make apps work for them if they know how to play the game. The question is, how do you play it?

Do Dating Apps Work? Yes – Here’s the Special Sauce

Before we dive into why dating apps work, let me throw a couple more online dating stats at you.

Stanford (that school that everyone thinks is an Ivy but isn’t) found that in 2017, 39% of all relationships that started that year did so online.

Sure only 5,421 people were surveyed, but this is a large enough sample size to indicate that online dating is a game changer. Couples are now more likely to meet each other online than in church, through friends, at a bar, at work, or at a party.

In fact, meeting your partner online is now the most common way to meet a partner.

So much so that by 2040 the majority of relationships are projected to start online.

To further support this shift towards meeting via online dating, a study published by the Imperial College Business School found that by 2037 the majority of children will be born to parents that met online rather than offline.

Why Is Online The Best Way To Meet Women

It’s clear that dating apps work, but why?

Really it just comes down to their ease of use.

If you wanted to meet a woman right now without using an app what would you do?

Maybe you’d strike up a conversation with a woman at work, or the gym, or flirt with the barista.

The issue is those are all encounters that require physical work and emotional stress. You have to physically get off your butt and seek out a woman in the real world. You must drive to a place and hope there is a woman you’re interested enough to flirt with. Once you find her you need to summon the courage to chat her up.

It’s all so taxing… compared to meeting women through an app.

Meeting women through Hinge, Bumble, or The League involves moving your thumb back and forth. It can be done anywhere and at any time. It takes seconds to swipe through dozens of women and isn’t time-consuming. Not only this, but women on dating apps are there to meet people. They’re single and ready to mingle. This isn’t the case when meeting women IRL (the exception being at a speed dating event).

This is why so many people are meeting their partners online.

But just because people are doing it doesn’t mean it’s easy.

To meet your ideal woman online you’ll have to use the following strategies.

Ditch The Selfie

After deciding which applications are right for you, it’s time to choose your photos. Photos are by and large the most important aspect of your profile. Dating apps might not be working for you because you haven’t invested enough time into choosing the right pictures.

Sidenote: Every application is superficial. It doesn’t matter how many prompts you’re forced to answer (looking at you OkCupid) – or how feminist you claim to be (Bumble) – users will still reduce who you are to the five or six photos you link to your profile.

Here are a few things to keep in mind when choosing photos:

Upload no less than 4 and no more than 7
You’re more than 43% more likely to receive a like (on Hinge) if you smile without teeth
Candid photos get more love than contrived shots
Selfies are unattractive, ditch them
Make sure you and you alone can be seen in your first photo
Include at least one photo of you performing a contact sport
Tinder found that users obstructing their face with hats or glasses were 15% less likely to be swiped right on than users that abstained from obscuring their face
Upload two group shots
Red is universally sexy, keep that in mind
Upload at least one picture of you on a trip abroad
Revise your pictures to make sure you’re not wearing the same outfit in any two photos

Overwhelmed? If you’re not in the mood of combing through hundreds of photos looking for pictures that conform to the aforementioned criteria, then well, you don’t have to.

Allow your female friends to commandeer your account and choose your photos for you. Send your friends a photo of you and ask them if you should throw it up on your dating apps.

Verification

Catfishing and misrepresentation are rampant within the online dating community. 45% of men report having been catfished at least once. Women catfish for nefarious purposes. Perhaps they want your money, to be provided a gourmet meal, are seeking your financial information, or just a photo with you to post on their IG.

Verification like the one offered by Bumble can put an end to catfishing, but it can help.

Verifying your profile takes a second and can be the difference between a date and a swipe left. Many students of mine have told me that women demand to see their IG before dating them. They want to verify they’re legit.

Verifying your account AND connecting your IG prove what you look like and demonstrate who you are. They serve to humanize you. And after all, after being reduced to a card in a deck of thousands, having a woman see you as a unique individual is a major accomplishment.

If you don’t think these adjustments will lead to matches, I’d argue that Naeem’s 31 dates since changing his online dating profile is evidence to the contrary.

Channel Your Inner Gabriel Garcia Marquez

You can’t walk onto a football field hoping to hit a 30-yard field goal if you’ve never practiced before. If you’re new to online dating –or have only now decided to exert dating- writing quality messages will come with time.

Think of yourself as an author such as the great Garcia Marquez. This should be your aspiration. The journey toward literary excellence is best achieved with the help of an editor.

In our program, Dating Decoded, you’ll learn how to craft compelling messages that compel women to respond. I’ll teach you how to find the most emotionally triggering information on a profile and craft a message informed by that information.

You’ll also learn the most important aspect of an online dating conversation; the transition. With my help, you’ll learn how to effectively ask women out in a manner that yields a high success rate and much, much more. But enough about what could be, let’s assess the situation at hand.

Are you one of those guys that sends out the same message en masse? I’m not even referring to “hey” -which is, of course, a big no-no- but rather the same thoughtless message that could apply to any profile e.g. what’s you’re favorite…

Make each message personal. This can be done by including the person’s name along with a message that addresses something in their profile. If her profile gives you little to work with, ask a question that’s both stimulating and probing. If possible include a bit of humor in each message.

Deactivation of Inactive Users

Let’s harken back to the Tinder stat that found that only 50% of Tinder users have ever actually gone on a date with a match. To me, this means that 50% of users are window shoppers. They log onto the app and swipe through prospective suitors, but they see the app as much more of a game than a tool to meet romantic partners. So how can we guard against this?

There are a few controversial ideas I have in mind.

One is that users must use the app at least once every two weeks. If not, they’ll be booted from the app for a duration of one month. But this only ensures that people are logging in, not that they’re going on dates.

This is why users must also be required to go on a date with someone they met through the app at least once every three months. Dates can be corroborated by asking each dating party a series of questions about the date to ascertain whether they in fact went on the date.

“Hey” Isn’t Allowed

Emlovz conducted research found that about 75% of dudes message “hey” or a variant as their first message. News flash, hey, doesn’t work.

Hey, offers nothing to the conversation. Where do you go from hey? More often than not, hey receives nothing in response. On a good day, a hey will be mirrored by another hey, which is then likely followed by “how are you,” “good how are you,” blah blah blah. It’s no catfishing surprise that 50% of Tinder users have never dated someone they met on the app!

Hey and variations of hey (i.e. hey there, hey beautiful, hey Steph) should be banned.

Conversations that lead to dates rarely start with hey. They begin by asking a probing question or commenting on something the female user wrote in her profile. It’s openers like these that ultimately score you dates IRL.

We can teach you how to craft a compelling opening message that is bound to receive a response.

10-Message Limit Before Asking For A Date

Dating applications are tools used to meet potential romantic partners. However, users never experience their intended purpose if they never meet up with their matches. We need to understand that applications aren’t meant for building a rapport. Essays should not be written nor secrets shared. I impose a 10-message limit before asking the person on the other side of the screen out on a first date.

Dating apps should be used for introductions, nothing more. Sharing more than 10 messages within the application will lead to complacency. But realize that you’re not on the app in search of pen pals. The more messages exchanged, the less likely it is that you two will ever meet in person.

If a woman delays by not giving you her phone number or agreeing to a date, you’ll have to address her fears and prove your worth. Make a couple more jokes, ask a couple more questions, and improve your dating pitch. If you get a no again it’s possible that she’s the type of person who never meets up with people in IRL. Save yourself time by moving on to the next match.

Dating Apps Not Working? Use A TDL

TDL stands for time, date, location. It’s easier for a woman to say yes to going on a date when the specifics are laid out for her. A TDL makes the request to see each other outside of the application real. It provides tangible information that she can wrap her head around. Here’s an example:

“Hi Sara. I was thinking this Saturday at 11am we meet for coffee at WiseGuy’s and then hang out at Avila Park to get to know each-other better. You in? PS: There just happens to be yearly dog show event in the park at that time:)”

She’ll be thinking: Does 11am work for me? Do I really like this guy? It forces her to take you seriously. If she rejects the offer due to a TDL detail, you can simply change the time, date, location, or activity.

If she keeps rejecting you, inform her that if she wants to go out with you, she can provide you with a time that works instead of you having to chase her around.

So, Do Dating Apps Work?

Let’s circle back to the question that inspired the writing of this article -do dating apps work?

As Stanford told us, 39% of all new relationships start online.

But forget about other people, the real question is, do dating apps work for you?

Your love life is the only love life we care about.

Maybe the apps aren’t working for you right now, but with a few tweaks you can start scoring dates.

Let’s chat now via a 1-on-1 Zoom call about how our dating strategies have helped countless men find love. If it worked for people like Alex it’ll work for you too.

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