Dating can be a difficult road for anyone to navigate. When you’re dating with ADHD, the journey becomes even more complicated. Forgetfulness, becoming easily distracted and other symptoms that are characteristic of ADHD can be extremely frustrating and may make you want to withdraw from dating altogether.
First, ditch the criticism. Adult ADHD is more common than you think and more and more people have been making a point to address their ADHD. The number of doctor’s visits for ADHD doubled from 2007 to 2010 and an estimated 12.9% of men will be diagnosed with ADHD at some point in their lifetime. It’s not your fault you have ADHD and it’s certainly not something you should beat yourself up about.
The important thing is to make sure that — if you haven’t already — you address your ADHD with a medical practitioner. A combination of lifestyle choices and medication can help you manage your ADHD so that it doesn’t interfere with your everyday life.
What is Adult ADHD?
Adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is characterized by issues with paying attention, restlessness, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, among other things.
There are some gender differences when it comes to ADHD. The main symptoms of ADHD tend to overlap, but women often fly under the radar when it comes to this disorder, as it often doesn’t rear its head in childhood. Women with ADHD tend to be more withdrawn or introverted and are more likely to develop anxiety and depression as a result of ADHD.
You may be on a date with a woman who has ADHD and not realize it, but the date ideas I will have listed will be extremely appealing for both of you.
For men who have ADHD, symptoms include:
- Chattiness and a tendency to interrupt people when they are talking
- Lack of patience
- Hypersensitivity when criticized
- Road rage
- Difficulty getting organized
- Scattered thinking
- Trouble balancing money
- Mood fluctuations
As I stated before, it’s essential that you speak with a medical practitioner in order to figure out the best medicinal treatment for you ADHD, so that this disorder doesn’t interfere with your professional life and personal relationships.
Lifestyle choices like regular exercise and eating a healthy diet are also very important when it comes to managing ADHD. Mindful practices like yoga and meditation are also a great way to keep your brain in a present, clear state and can help reduce the stress and distractedness that comes with ADHD.
Finally, aim to get between seven and nine hours of sleep each night. Getting proper sleep will help you with focus, productivity, and mood.
Tip #1: Make Your Dates More Physical
Olivia Newton-John told us all to get “Physical” in her 1981 pop hit (and really strange accompanying music video). She had a point, and getting physical during your date is a great way to mitigate anxiety and your ADHD symptoms.
Exercise is great for everyone, but people with ADHD will experience significant benefits when it comes to brain function and overall mood. There are many different ways that you can incorporate exercise into your dates in a fun, compelling way:
- Go for a bike ride to a scenic place or overlook in your neighborhood.
- Take a hike.
- Go to a unique exercise class or something like Doga (yoga with dogs). You can find free trial exercise classes or affordable options with a simple Google search or by checking out websites like Evenbrite.
Tip #2: Make Your Dates More Fulfilling
One of the misconceptions people hold about ADHD is that nothing is going to be able to hold your attention. Obviously, you as a person with ADHD knows that this isn’t true. People with ADHD tend to be very creative and passionate, and when they take part in a task, event or activity that involves something they care about, the focus becomes much easier. Moreover, you are able to thrive in these scenarios.
When it comes to dating with ADHD, one way that you can ease anxiety is to make your dates more fulfilling. Focus on things that will appeal to passions you and your date have so that it will be fun for the both of you.
Some date ideas that can fill this requirement of fulfillment include:
- Giving back by volunteering: Find a cause that you and your date are passionate about and have a great date while giving back! You can find local volunteering opportunities on websites like VolunteerMatch.org, Idealist.org, and HandsOn Network.
- Arts and Culture: There are a ton of cool dates available for artsy people like you and your date — many of them free! Whether you are an art aficionado, or simply want to get more cultured, scope out date ideas that include things like unique museum exhibits or paint nights as a way to stimulate the date.
- Cool dinner with stimulating conversation.
Tip #3: Make Your Dates Move
If you want to propel your relationship, you better get moving. Lots of people make the mistake when dating with ADHD of basically sitting “interview style” through its entirety. This is bad all around and it can encourage anxiety and distractedness for people with ADHD.
Choose dates that will get both of you moving. You don’t have to do anything super athletic and exercise-based, but anything that gets you both on your feet will encourage natural conversation and keep you from getting distracted.
Some examples of good date ideas to get you moving include:
- Visiting a farmer’s market and sampling different foods
- Going to a museum
- Taking a tour of a brewery or winery neither of you has been before, followed by samplings
- A walk on the beach or at the park, followed by a picnic lunch
Tip #4: Choose Dates That Are Stimulating
There are several ways you can stimulate your senses and good conversation when on a date. This will help both of you stay engaged and allow things to flow naturally. Dates that include music, interesting visuals, and physical activity can all be incredibly stimulating.
Some examples include:
- Visiting a fair and watching a fireworks display
- Attending a free concert or music festival
- An unusual workout class like Doga (dog yoga), partner yoga, or a dance class
- Volleyball at the beach
- Frisbee or badminton in the park
- Interesting art exhibits
- Indoor Rock Climbing
- 80’s/Techno Bowling Night
Tip #5: Make Your Dates More Adventurous
Instead of allowing nerves to get your heart rate going, enjoy a dose of adrenaline by choosing more adventurous dates. Using dating as an opportunity for adventuring can create a sense of exhilaration in both of you, which can subsequently increase romantic chemistry.
The best part about going the adventurous route is you often won’t even have time to be nervous and getting out all that energy will help alleviate any anxiety that can be augmented by your ADHD.
Some ideas include:
- Going for a ride or walking through a haunted house
- Enjoying a real-life treasure hunt with geocaching
- Sampling exotic or intimidating foods you’ve been too scared to eat before (think octopus, anything raw, escargot and other types of bugs, etc.)
- Rock climbing the safe, scrape-free way at an indoor climbing gym
- Visiting a psychic and get your palms read
- Go-kart racing
Tip #6: Get Out in Nature
Dates that are based in nature are some of my favorites to recommend because they come with so many benefits.
Several studies have shown that nature is good for mental health. When you’re out in the elements, your mood is boosted and stress is calmed. Another great thing about choosing nature-based environments when you’re dating with ADHD is that conversation is stimulated easily because you have a lot going on around you in the environment that you can talk about.
Finally, many nature dates like hiking are free, and if you have been paying attention to my recommended dating rules for the first three dates, you know that I find the following to be most successful:
- The first date should cost no more than $10-$15 and should last an hour or less. This date is intended to build trust and rapport.
- The second date should be something active and free. This date is intended to escalate sexual tension and chemistry.
- The third date is when you open up your wallet for a romantic dinner. It’s usually when physical intimacy occurs. This date is intended to help you discover if the two of you are good morals and values fit and to see if the relationship has long-term potential.
You can always roll in a second date while on a first date. For example, on a first date you could choose a coffee shop near a hiking trail. When your date arrives, grab some to-go coffees and walk around the area a bit. If the “first date” walk and talk is going well, and your date is wearing sneakers and other comfortable work-out attire, ask her if she’d like to walk up the trail you see in the distance.
To find neat hiking trails near you, I recommend downloading the AllTrails app. My boyfriend and I use this all the time and like it.
Besides hiking, other nature dates can include:
- Going to the beach
- Visiting a park
- Taking a bike ride
Dating with ADHD Wrap Up
If you’re dating with ADHD or having any type of struggle in the dating world, I can help. During my 100-date experiment, I discovered several different ways to find fun and success in the dating world. Since my experiment, I have been helping men just like you find fulfilling, long-term relationships and more satisfaction in their personal lives.
Head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. During our 50-minute session, we will create an action plan to help you overcome your dating roadblocks and crush your goals like finding a girlfriend and/or long term partner.
If you’re not much of a talker, you can check out my comprehensive online dating course for men. This course has all the steps you need to stay out of the friend-zone, attract gorgeous women and find a high-value girlfriend!