Am I Dating Too Many People?
Are you worried that you are dating too many people?
While many people bemoan a lackluster love life where dates are few and far in between, some have the opposite problem.
This article delves into the signs that you’re dating too many people. But first, let’s talk about why dating multiple people at the same time is actually a good thing.
Dating Various People at Once = MegaDating
During my 100-date experiment, I used MegaDating as my main strategy. At the end of my experiment, I was in a relationship with a compatible partner. Years later, he and I are still together. This strategy worked for me and it can work for you too!
MegaDating is a dating process that involves going out on dates with several people at the same time in order to diffuse energy and keep your social calendar full.
Why Does MegaDating Work?
Because you’re dating several different people at the same time, your anxiety is reduced and the fear of things like rejection lessens.
MegaDating proves that there truly are plenty of fish in the sea, which helps you embrace the world of dating with confidence and optimism.
Moreover, MegaDating helps you reach your dating goals faster than ever before.
Finally, in case you’re wondering, this dating strategy does not make you a “player” or a “slut” (which is, by the way, an extremely archaic term we’d be wise to exclude from dating vernacular). MegaDating is not about sex. You can date and wait (hey, that rhymes) until you find a compatible girlfriend.
How Much MegaDating is Considered TOO Much?
Worried that this strategy means dating too many people at the same time? I certainly dated a lot in a short period of time and it wasn’t an issue.
In fact, I recommend many clients try my 30-day MegaDating challenge, where you go on 15 dates in a month. During my 100-date experiment, I sometimes even went on two dates in one day during weekends.
It didn’t exhaust me. Rather, MegaDating is actually intended to increase your energy. Thus, if you are worried that you’re dating too many people, perhaps it isn’t the number as much as it is your approach to dating.
How Long Are Your Dates?
If your dates are lasting into the night (or even…er…the morning), then it’s likely you’re getting burnt out on dating multiple people.
During my experiment, I always kept first dates to an hour or less. It isn’t until the third date that you can get serious by eliminating a time limit, getting more intimate and possibly even heading back to their place.
If you need help pacing yourself when it comes to dating multiple people at once, use my failproof dating blueprint for the first three dates.
The EmLovz Dating Blueprint
Dating is a tricky road to navigate if you don’t have a map leading you toward your goals. Moreover, if you’re not careful, dating can get really expensive.
That’s why I came up with the following dating blueprint for the first three dates in order to keep your energy up and your wallet happy.
First Date: Build Trust and Rapport
The purpose of the first date is to build trust and rapport. Choose something fun and light that won’t cost more than $15. Limit the date time to no more than an hour. This allows you enough time to see if there’s chemistry without putting on too much pressure, which can be stressful for you and your date.
Conversation is key when it comes to building trust and rapport on a date. If you need help steering the conversation, check out my Top 25 Questions to ask a Girl on a First Date.
Finally, remember this very important rule if you want to secure a second date and give yourself the best chance of building a lasting connection…
Avoid First Date Sex
If you feel like you’re dating too many people, ask yourself if you’re also being intimate with these different people. Lots of emotions bubble up after sex, thanks to all the hormones released during the act.
First date sex often leads to the following:
- Rushing into a relationship when neither of you is ready
- Awkwardness and confusion
- One or both of you lose interest because you took things too fast
Moreover, turning down first date sex reverses a woman’s expectations, making her want you more. Women are used to having men trying to strategically maneuver their way into their bedrooms at the end of a successful first date.
Stand out from other men. Reverse her expectations at the end of the date by not only avoiding sex but verbally stating you are not interested in having sex on the first date.
You can do this in a number of ways. For example, if you walk her to her door and she says something like, “Before we go inside…” reverse her expectations by saying something like, “Who said I was going inside?” or “I’m not like other guys. I don’t have sex with someone unless I’ve had some time to build a deep connection with them.”
You automatically appear more valuable and attractive when you do this.
Second Date: Escalate Sexual Tension
Are you constantly sitting interview-style during dates? This could be another thing that makes you feel like you’re dating too many people. It’s easier to get burned out if you’re bored or going on bad dates all the time.
The second date should be something active and free. Not only will getting active help you break the touch barrier with women, but it will also keep you energized. This makes it easier to date multiple people and have fun doing it!
Need some compelling second date ideas? Check out my articles on 13 Great Second Date Ideas That Will Knock Her Socks Off and 18 Physical Second Date Ideas That Get You Moving.
Third Date: Discover if You Have Long-term Potential
The third date is the one where you can go all out with a romantic dinner. This is a crucial date where you determine whether or not the two of you are a fit as far as morals and values go. Furthermore, this date shows you whether or not the two of you have potential as a long-term couple.
Need help steering that crucial third date conversation? Check out my article, Date Planning Guide: Third Date Questions to Ask a Woman When Searching for a Real Relationship.
Finally, physical intimacy often occurs after a third date. When it comes to having sex for the first time, take note of the following:
- Make sure you’re place is clean and pristine
- Have drinks etc. ready but don’t drink to the point of sloppy drunkenness
- Prep for late night snack attacks and breakfast fixings for the morning after
Finally, always, ALWAYS make sure that everything that happens is consensual. Check in with her before and during intimacy. Although consent probably seems like it will be completely obvious, there are gray areas that are important to address. The following video deftly illustrates how to make sure that intimacy is completely consensual at every stage of the game:
Are Your Dates Taking Away from Time with Others?
You may feel like you’re dating too many people if you’re losing time with others. Maybe you haven’t been out with your friends in forever because you’re always out on dates.
In that case, you may be dating too many people. Conversely, if your dates always go on for hours or take place in the evening, scheduling could be the culprit.
During my experiment, the majority of my first and second dates took place during the daytime. And again, they didn’t last more than an hour. Remember to keep friends and family as a priority. Dating is meant to be fun. It isn’t intended to consume every aspect of your social life.
Are You Having Trouble Keeping Names Straight?
Do you keep calling your dates by other girls’ names? Are you unsure of the number of women you’re dating right now? Is it likely in the double digits?
Ok, this is basically MegaDating on speed. It’s likely you’re dating too many people and need to scale back.
Are You a Single Parent?
When you’re a single parent, it’s nearly impossible to MegaDate to the extent your non-parent counterparts do. And that’s ok. You can still MegaDate, but you might not be able to go out on 15 dates in a month. You have greater responsibilities and your children are your first priority.
Want advice and expert insights on dating as a single parent? Check out my article on 11 Tips for Dating as a Single Dad to Help You Find Your Next Relationship.
Dating Done Right: Get 1-on-1 Support with emlovz
I’ve spent years helping men all around the world find lasting love. I can do the same for you. Whether it’s dating too many people or not being able to land a date, I have the skills to provide you with an individualized plan that will set you on the right path.
Ready to get started? Head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Zoom session with me or one of my colleagues today!
During our session, we will create a plan to help you overcome your dating roadblocks and crush your goals. We’ll also determine if my 3 month coaching or matchmaking programs could be a fit for you!