Depression and divorce go together like Instagram and eating disorders.

Sure you can have one without the other, but one almost always is the catalyst for the other.

28% of those 40 and older that have recently divorced also experience depression according to a recent AARP study.

Having your world turn upside down and your fantasies of domestic bliss evaporate has a unique way of making you clinically sad.

But ya know what?

The purpose of this article isn’t to tell you or people like you how sad you are — you already know how shitty you feel.

Rather the intent is to give you a rather unconventional roadmap towards happiness.

Depression after divorce for men sucks, but there is a way out.

That path involves lots of co-ed volleyball, binge-reading DUNE before the next movie comes out, and MegaDating (or a variation of those three).

Let’s start by addressing the past.

Depression After Divorce for Men

Consciously Grieve

Stop whatever you’re doing, grab some tissues, and have a nice exfoliating cry.

Look, before you can move forward you need to process what just happened.

Before you can truly burn the ships and move forward you’ll need to be okay with the situation.

Give yourself a set period of time to be sad and to feel that sadness.

It’s mission-critical to get those negative vibes out of your body so they don’t get stuck in there and then pop up at inopportune times.

You gotta feel it to heal it as the old adage goes.

The last thing you want is to bring negative baggage into your dates and new relationships.

Use these grieving techniques to move forward:

• Address the pain points
• Talk it out with a friend, your former spouse if possible, or a professional
• Eat well and exercise
• Enjoy friends and family
• Find a new routine
• Figure out your financial/living situation

Embrace The Change-up

All of those depression-inducing emotions are triggered by your previous routine.

When you get home from work you immediately grab a drink and turn on the big screen while eating takeout.

Depression has a way of seeping into your routine.

The best way to do away with the depression is to build new habits and thus a new routine.

What if instead of immediately coming home after work you’d gone to Wednesday karaoke with co-workers or rode your bike to and from the office? Or maybe you and a few friends held a standing game night or you started writing that new fantasy novel you’ve been dreaming of?

What if you just picked up running Brittany Runs A Marathon style?

Honestly, it doesn’t matter what you do as long as it’s positive.

When we’ve been with the same partner for years and years and years, we get into deeply worn grooves that are comfortable and lack novelty.

This can make us feel like robots (especially during Covid) because every day feels so routine and nothing is unexpected.

Most likely the spousal routine you had has been replaced with a depression-inducing one.

If that’s the case it’s time to change it up once again.

Embracing change can be life-enhancing.

New experiences and adventures remind us that we’re alive and well.

Even the bad ones can help us to get in touch with our feelings as we’re no longer just running a subconscious routine.

Try going for a hike somewhere you’ve never been or having dinner at a restaurant you’ve never tried.

There are literally a million things you can do to fight depression.

Meeting New People Can Reduce Depression

One of the most powerful ways to address depression after divorce is to make connections (platonic or otherwise) with fellow humans.

That’s because as humans, we’re insanely social creatures.

A recent meta-study examining the lives of over 300,000 participants proves this by finding that adults get a 50 percent boost in longevity if they have a solid social network.

Humans love other humans, and without them, we literally don’t have the will to continue to move on. If you take a look at every Blue Zone in the world (zones where local inhabitants live inordinately long lives) the one thing that ties them all together is that they all place great importance on social interaction.

Not only will building new relationships and strengthening current ones pull you out of depression but it’ll also sharpen your social skills for the next chapter of your life.

If you’re coming out of a toxic relationship or even one that you just outgrew, you may be used to getting negative reinforcement from your ex.

But chances are you two were either an incompatible match from the start or you simply grew in different directions.

Dating and meeting new women — especially if you have a solid strategy like what I teach in my program — and knowing how to attract compatible women is a great way to rewrite your inner narrative.

Interacting with and dating new women can dispel myths that arose in your previous relationship. 

Dating Can Help You Realize Your True Market Value

Chances are pretty good that your self-esteem took a big hit after the divorce. You might be feeling as though you don’t have much to offer the opposite sex. You might also be feeling as though no one wants to date a divorced man. 

But dating and meeting new women might open your eyes to your true market value.

But ya know what, I’m not gonna make you wait that long.

Let me persuade you with the unbridled sex appeal of bar graphs that you, my friend, are a wanted man.

The graph above shows the marital status of Americans.

As you can see there are nearly 15 million divorced women in the US. What you should also notice is that there are 10.6 million single divorced men.

Say goodbye to the sausage fest singles bar of old.

If you’re on the prowl for a single divorced woman that understands where you are in life, there are literally millions of women to choose from.

But why reduce your dating pool to merely divorced single women?

What you see above is a graph provided by Pew Research. 

I’d like to turn your attention to the 19% of women between the ages of 30-49 that are single.

Be encouraged by these numbers.

You my friend are outnumbered and thus have options.

Date confidently knowing that not only are you a wanted man, but you’re now more attractive than ever.

Let’s also not forget that nowadays your career is flourishing, you have total stability and you’ve spent years in a partnership so you know what it takes to be a good partner.

This makes you more valuable than ever before.

I’ve worked with men who, after their divorce, had no clue whether they’d even date again.

They had never used dating apps and only saw failure in their future.

This isn’t because divorced men are inept, they just haven’t adapted to the current dating scene.

A 2017 Stanford study found that 39% of all new heterosexual relationships that started that year did so with the help of dating apps.

Dating apps are the way to go, you just need to know how to use them.

After applying my techniques my clients often find themselves with more dates than they knew what to do with.

All the time my clients tell me, “Em, I can’t even believe the quality of women who are interested in me! I’ve never had so many options to choose from.”

I love being a part of their journey because I know all they need is a solid, actionable strategy.

A step-by-step formula for how to craft the perfect profile and a guided, formulaic system for messaging women so they respond and say “yes” to their date requests.

If you’re wondering how you might fare on the dating app scene and think having a coach in your corner might help to boost your confidence and sense of control in the crazy world of dating, then I would love to talk with you.

Book a new client session with myself or a member of my team here.

Dating Can Be The Best Adventure of Your Life

It’s time to write a new chapter. 

Spoiler: This will be your best chapter yet. 

Every date you go on can be an adventure.

It’s a chance to step into a different future life and see how it feels.

When I was doing my 100 date experiment, I got to step into a multitude of different futures.

When I dated a professor, I imagined what life with an intellectually brilliant partner might be like. I then dated a construction guy and imagined a life where everything could be instantly fixed and where we’d have a robust social life.

Dating a lawyer showed me that I’d always be kept on my toes in conversation and have a partner that wasn’t always there.

I settled on the salesman who was humble and personable because I saw that a future with him meant that I’d probably become more humble, thoughtful, and self-aware.

That was the future I wanted. 

But if I’d just settled on the first guy who I could have wifed-up before doing the experiment and MegaDating, I would have found myself in a toxic and unfulfilling relationship. 

Marrying the first person you find who likes you back is like sticking with the first flavor of ice cream you order and never bothering to try another.

The point is, MegaDating can make dating fun, so every date is an adventure. It also will help you see what’s out there so you have options and can make the best choice for you. 

There’s no time to be depressed when your focus is pointed outward and you have tangible goals, formulas, and daily tasks in place.

I teach how to do all of this and more in my coaching program and I would love to share more about it with you if you’re curious to see if you’d be a good fit. Watch my quick video here and see if it resonates with you.

Build A Village

A strong support network can help ease depression after divorce.

Having a group of supportive single men all working towards the same goals you are can demolish depression.

Science shows that having a strong support network is critical for healing from traumatic events like divorce.

Most men don’t realize this though and go through everything totally alone.

So many guys I talk to tell me they feel they have no one to talk to about this stuff.

Studies show that even though men tend to be better off financially than women after divorce, that they are much worse off emotionally.

Bottling post-divorce emotions up is a recipe for serious depression.

However, there is a program out there that addresses your needs; this program.

Our program is comprised of a robust community of successful, single men, many of whom are also divorced. These are great guys who are all getting themselves back out there and dating after divorce.

Our program, Dating Decoded, is home to a community of single men and coaches. Although it’s an online community, we have students based around the country. In many cities, our students meet up in person to support one another, bond, and even meet women.

We also have a biweekly Man Cave event. It’s here that students meet every other week to talk about what’s on their minds. They can commiserate with one another, create lasting bonds, talk about whatever is on their minds, and get things off their chest.

You don’t have to go through this alone.

Depression After Divorce for Men: Takeaway

Other super cool features of the program include:

• 24/7 contact with your peers 
• Everyone in my program is following the MegaDating system
• Learn how to connect with women online and IRL
• Weekly coaching calls
• Mine social channels so you’re going out with multiple new women every week
• A step-by-step guide to marketing yourself to women

Our focus in the coaching program is to attract amazing women and drive demand for date acquisition through systematized daily outreach.

I won’t treat you like your therapist might and ask you how you’re feeling or tell you to just “be yourself” because that advice is un-actionable and unhelpful (but I do advocate for therapy in conjunction with coaching).

Instead, you’ll learn precisely what to do and how to do it every single day to build up your dating funnel with hyper-compatible women.

The absolute best way to address depression is by building a solid support network.

At emlovz, ours is baked into everything that we do.

I believe you can find love, joy, and happiness and I know you deserve the woman of your dreams who makes you feel seen, heard, and appreciated.

You don’t have to keep going through life depressed and alone.

I’ve got your back and so does our entire community of both students and coaches. 

Here are just some of the coaches who you’ll team up with upon joining emlovz:

• Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host two coaching sessions every week
• Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
• Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
• Darshil is a confidence coach, wingman, and all around great guy to have on your team. Once student, now a teacher he knows what you’re going through and how to get the most from your dating life
• Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
• Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
• Renee is our anxiety dating coach. As a licensed therapist she knows the steps needed to turn you into a cool, calm, and collected dater
• Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting women online

Our Community

And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded, you’d be joining a community of supportive men and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.

Our program offers every student a lifetime membership (as if you’ll need it) so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.

If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.

Schedule a call with us if you’d like to learn more about how we can help you.

We’re hella loyal too, so if you’re accepted into the program, I’ve got your back for life. There’s no breakups here. With emlovz, you have lifetime support whenever you need it. 

Hear what’s going on in our students’ dating lives.