Ask any new couple how they got into a relationship and chances are they’ll tell you that it all started with a swipe.
Hate them or love them dating apps now account for the creation of 39% of all new relationships.
But look, just because dating apps are wildly popular doesn’t mean it’s easy to meet your partner on them.
Deal Breakers On Dating Apps
For men the issue is that guys largely outnumber women. Tinder has 9 men for every 1 woman. That number only bumps up slightly on Bumble, with 7 men for every 3 women. This means you have to be at your peak game to attract a lady online.
And if you’re a woman, sure you have plenty of men to choose from, but most of them put little effort when it comes to communicating their worth, i.e. they only send one-word messages and post selfies with fish. To swipe through the swamp to attract the few men worth going out with, you too need to be on your game.
To help both men and women appeal to more high quality singles, let’s explore the biggest deal breakers both sexes have on dating apps.
First, let’s start with the women.
Deal Breakers On Dating Apps For Women
As you can see, women have quite a few deal breakers, and they should.
Again, women have an abundance of men to choose from, they can afford to be picky. If they met a man in person, some of these wouldn’t be deal breakers, but again, they have options, so why settle for anything less than their ideal?
Let’s address some of the biggest deal breakers.
Violence Or Aggression
Realize that you’re a stranger.
She has nothing to go on but your profile. So if you even hint at being mean, aggressive, or a less-than-nice person, she’s going to swipe left. So smile in your photos and present yourself as the nice, charming man that you are.
Overtly Sexual
Sooo many men will post sexual content on their profiles. Whether it be a series of semi-naked gym selfies or a written bio that says he’s just looking to smash. Even if you’re a hot guy, women will be turned off by the horndog vibes. Yes, we women are sexual beings too, but we’re not going to jump in bed with just any guy.
Prove your worth before expressing your more sexual side.
Racist Profile
Your profile should speak to the people you want to attract most. That means writing about your hobbies, communicating values, and showcasing your personality. Writing something even vaguely racist will only ever attract other racists.
Negative Profile
Again, she only knows the person you present in your profile.
If you post a few handsome photos only to then write how you only want to talk to serious women, women that aren’t hoes, etc., she’ll swipe past you as fast as her finger will allow.
Be positive my guy. She doesn’t care about your dating struggles or your deal-breaker list. Instead of talking about what you want, talk about who you are.
Indicating That You Have A Kink Or Want A Non-Monogomous Relationship
Here’s the thing. If you’re cool with a kinkless relationship or a monogamous relationship but would prefer kinky and non-monogamous, that’s fine. Just don’t say so on your profile. That’s something you can talk about later. If it’s not an absolute deal breaker, pocket it for later.
However, if you’re only willing to date women who share your kink or want a non-monogamous relationship, let that be known. Even though you’ll turn 80-90% of them off, it’s better than investing in a woman who doesn’t share your relationship style.
Empty Biography
Women love a bit of mystery, but to convince her to swipe right on your profile, she needs a little more info. 67% of women polled said this was a deal breaker for them.
Time and time again I see men refuse to fill the bios on their Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge accounts.
Men, the best way to convince a woman to swipe right is to display your personality. Humanize yourself by talking about what you’re into, make a joke, talk hobbies, value, literally anything (well, almost anything) is better than nothing.
Big Time Drinker
Most men have lots of photos of themselves drinking. That’s kinda just what lots of men do. But that doesn’t mean they’re suitable for dating apps. Just because they’re the only photos you have doesn’t mean you have to use them. The next time you’re out with a friend (and not drinking) ask them to shoot some photos of you.
49% of women won’t swipe right if the man she’s looking at indicates he’s a big drinker. One photo of you with a beer is fine, but limit it to just one.
A Man Who Forgot How To Smile
It’s actually pretty easy. Humans have been doing it involuntarily for thousands of years now, yet still you have a better chance of capturing a Yeti than a man smiling on camera.
Women want to know that you aren’t going to assault them, hurt them, or chop them up into little pieces – it’s just kind of our thing.
Mitigate those fears by flexing your cheek muscles, showing some teeth, and smiling. It’ll pay off bigly in matches.
Deal Breakers On Dating Apps For Men
You might think that deal breakers on dating apps for women and men are pretty similar. As this study shows, that’s not really the case.
She’s Not In It For Love
Poll after poll shows that so many online daters (particularly those on Tinder) don’t use it to find love.
So when a man sees that a woman has an Only Fans or Venmo link on her profile he immediately knows she’s not serious about using it to find a partner.
Even posting an IG link and telling men to hit you up there is a turn-off. IG links are fine only if they’re posted at the bottom of your lengthy written bio.
She Has Kids
Some deal breakers are worth informing people about.
It’s not like you’re ever going to choose some guy over your kids. What I will say though, is that not every photo should show you and your child. If you have a roster of 6-9 photos, I’d have your child in no more than two photos. One could argue for safety and privacy reasons they shouldn’t appear in any. If you decide not to post photos of you and your kids, make it know that you’re a proud mother in your bio.
If he can’t deal with it, that’s on him, not you.
Biography Denotes Emotional Instability
76% of men won’t date you if they gather you’re emotionally unstable.
Sure, they’ll swipe right. Men aren’t as picky as women when it comes to matching, but they suddenly become more discerning before asking a woman out. If they gather from what you wrote in your bio or from your conversation that you’re not in the best place to date, they’ll pass.
If You Only Talk Dislikes
Women are fed up with online dating. As the Pew Research study we detailed earlier found, the majority of women have had negative experiences overall with dating apps. As a result, we lash out. A common trope in female profiles is to scribble away a litany of things we don’t want in men as well as a list of requirements.
Spoiler: no man wants to be with a woman who only has a list of demands to offer and in no way talks about why she’s worthy of making such demands.
Instead, talk about what makes you unique. Showcase your personality. If you have deal breakers list them in a fun way. If you want emotionally stable men, say that you want a guy who still calls his mom every once in a while instead of writing ONLY EMOTIONAL STABLE MEN.
Can’t See Full Body
This goes both ways.
If you don’t display your entire body on a dating app, the person on the other side of the screen will be suspicious.
They’ll wonder why you’re not showing your entire body. Is it because you don’t have two legs, are overweight, have weird leg tattoos, why, why, why?
This is a pretty simple deal breaker to address. Being honest about what you look like upfront will save you headaches in the future.
No Written Bio
Turns out men also don’t like it when women leave their bios blank.
Sure, they might be the more shallow sex, but high-quality men won’t match with you if you have any empty bio. They want to go out with a woman who has more to offer than a pretty face. 56% of men feel this way.
Writing a sentence or two about what you’re into isn’t hard. And hey, if you’re really that lazy, let Chat GPT help you out.
Filters
It’s easier than ever to use a filter to go from a 6 to a 10. But just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
For one, men are getting much better at detecting filtered photos. If he notices you’ve used one, there’s a 62% chance he won’t want to match.
Sure filters will help you score more matches, but what happens when you two actually go on a date and he feels like you’ve lied to him? The date will be ruined, he’ll be angry, and you both will have just wasted a ton of time.
Dating Decoded
Now that you know what the biggest deal breakers for men and women are on dating apps, it’s time to revamp your profile so you can start MegaDating.
We teach our students the shortcut to finding their ideal match by MegaDating. MegaDating is our dating philosophy and it shapes everything we teach here at emlovz. Simply put MegaDating is dating prolifically with the specific goal of going on 20 dates in 90 days. This will give you ample potential partners to compare and contrast so you can refine not only your dating skills but also who your ideal partner is.
To teach you how to quickly find a highly compatible partner in just weeks and become the most eligible single in town you’ll team up with romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.
Our Team
- Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host coaching sessions every week
- Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
- Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists for men. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
- Darshil is our mock date coach for women. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
- Renee is our anxiety dating coach. As a licensed therapist she knows the steps needed to turn you into a cool, calm, and collected dater
- Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
- Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
- Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting singles online
Our Community
And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded you’d be joining a community of supportive singles and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.
Our program offers every student a lifetime membership (as if you’ll need it) so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.
If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.
Here’s what our students are saying about us.
