If you’re wondering how to start a conversation with a woman over text, you’re not alone.
Texting is the most important and popular medium we have for flirting.
Think about it.
Everything takes place via text.
Initial messages of affection, asking a woman out, courting her, date follow-up — literally everything.
With that being the case, if you’re not a good texter you have zero chance of ever winning a woman’s heart.
With so much of the courting done via text, it’s vital that you know how to woo a woman online before you do so IRL.
In this article, we’ll teach you how to start a conversation with a woman over text.
However, online conversations are shallow and in no way take the place of phone conversation or a real life date.
With that said, this article won’t just teach you how to chat online, but how to effectively steer the conversation towards asking a woman out.
How To Start A Conversation With A Woman Over Text
Whip out that phone and make sure your fingers are at the ready.
Here are six actionable steps you can take right now to chat it up with that beautiful woman you met at the bar, yoga, rock climbing, the beach, on Tinder, etc.
1) Make An Entrance
How you message her will set the tone for the conversation to come.
So how do you want to play it?
Keep it simple.
She doesn’t have your number so simply shoot her a message telling her whose number this is.
If you got her number from an app say something like:
“Hey Sam, it’s Spencer, that ridiculously handsome man you met on Hinge. Save my number.”
Such a message clearly sets a flirty tone.
Another option is to write a short note that touches on something you two were talking about before you got her number.
Let’s say that you met in person and had a more in-depth chat than an app might allow for. Remind her that you’re:
“Hey Jen. It’s Steve, that earthy hiker guy from Dave’s party. Here’s my number.”
If you two had a laugh or riffed on something during your initial chat, this first message should touch on that positive moment from your first interaction. In this imagined scenario the guy sending the message clearly bonded with the woman he’s texting over how much he or they both like hiking.
For an even bolder move, don’t even tell her who you are.
Simply pick the conversation up from where you left it.
Example:
“I still can’t believe you’ve never had a lox bagel. We’re gonna have to remedy that.”
2) Pick Up Where Things Left Off
It can be difficult to keep the vibe going via texts.
This is why you’re going to cheat.
Instead of starting from scratch, talk to her as if the conversation never stopped.
What were you guys really vibing on before you asked for her number?
Were you talking about the amazing pitbull she just adopted, the fact that John Mayer is the most underrated lyricist in music, or how much you two miss Lunchables?
Whatever the case might be simply start messaging her about that conversation.
After a few more exchanges you should be ready to take the conversation from online to IRL.
By this point you should have built up enough rapport to be able to:
1) ask her out
2) have her say yes
3) know what she’s into so you can use a compelling TDL
3) Ask Her Out
You want to steer the conversation towards asking her out throughout your conversation.
Base the first date idea on whatever you two have been chatting about.
If you’ve been vibing on biking, suggest going for a scenic bike ride. If you’re both wine enthusiasts invite her for a picnic at the beach that includes an aged bottle of quality vino.
A TDL is your lodestar, let it guide you to the promised land.
A high-quality TDL looks something like this:
“Liz! You, me, bowling and arcade at Shoots & Scores this Friday at 7pm. Bring your A game.”
We have the time (7pm), the date (Friday), and the location/activity (bowling/arcade).
By outlining all the details of the date you’re giving her a concrete offer she can either accept or reject.
There is perhaps one alteration you might want to make to the date request.
Depending on the relationship you already have with this woman she may not 100% understand that you’re asking her on a date. If you met via Tinder and Bumble you may not have to explicitly call it a date. However, if you’re friends or acquaintances you’re going to want to make it crystal clear.
To do so, simply tell her that you are in fact asking her on a date.
Something like, “Let’s go on a date this Friday at Shoots & Scores…” should do the trick.
Now that you know how to use a TDL it’s time to ask her out.
However you might be thinking, why so soon?
You’ve got to strike while the iron is hot. Wait too long and the fledgling flame won’t be hot enough anymore.
This is because most are too shy and passive to ask a woman out.
Luckily you’re not one of those people.
While you still have momentum, ask her on a date that is too fun and easy to reject.
The closer the date is to her home and the more interesting the date idea is, the more likely it is that she’ll accept.
Making a woman do something she isn’t into or driving 30 minutes to see you is a guaranteed way to be rejected.
4) If She Rejects Your TDL
Rejections are bound to happen.
This is how to behave when she rejects you.
Firstly, address her objections.
Perhaps she writes you saying:
“Haha, that sounds great, but I have to work late that day.”
The problem is the timing and/or day. Simply change the day for either one prior or after the original TDL and ask her again.
In an ideal world, she would’ve responded, “Haha, that sounds great, but I have to work late that day. Why not Thursday?”
But this rarely happens, even if she’s into you.
However, perhaps her rejection is even vaguer than the one above:
“Sorry I can’t.”
If this is the case, voice your disappointment before asking her on another TDL a few days later.
Tell her, “Bummer, I was really looking forward to teaching you a thing or two. I’ll bother you again in a few days.”
If she rejects your TDL a few times be sure to change up the date idea. Repeatedly asking someone to go on the same date will get stale. Ask her on a completely different date the second or third time around.
If she ghosts you, ask her on three TDLs before calling it quits.
5) Keep Pre-Date Chat To A Minimum
She’s finally agreed to go out with you.
Hell yes.
Now it’s time to keep your fingers away from the keyboard.
But why you ask? She likes me why not keep the good times rollin’.
Because chatting it up after a date’s been agreed upon is like filling yourself up with bread before the steak arrives.
Any interaction via text is superficial. It takes the mystery away from meeting in person and deflates any sexual tension you had been building.
Between the TDL and date, you should be silent.
That is of course until the day of or the day prior when you text her again to confirm the date.
6) If She Needs To Know You A Bit Better Before Going Out
When you ask her out with that first TDL there are many reasons she might reject it.
One reason is that she just doesn’t know you that well.
If that’s the case you’ll have to invest more time kibitzing online before meeting IRL.
To ensure this conversation doesn’t drag on and isn’t horribly cliche here’s what you’ll do.
Answer Her Questions
Continue to talk about whatever you two were vibing on (make sure this convo lasts less than 20 text exchanges).
Any most of her questions. If there’s a particularly humorous answer you have for one of her questions tell her that you’ll only answer that on the first date. Use it as an incentive while reminding her that your ultimate goal is meeting in person.
Don’t ask her many questions if any at all. Save these for the first date. Focusing the attention on her will make you come off as super interested in her. Showing genuine interest is always hot.
Let Her Stalk You
She hasn’t yet agreed to the date because she doesn’t feel comfortable enough.
Address her concerns by allowing her to feel as though she knows you by providing her with your IG and FB information.
Letting her stalk away will address any concerns she might have about what you look like, what you do, your hobbies, etc.
Go On a Virtual Date
If you can tell she isn’t about to agree on a date anytime soon you can ask her on a 15-minute virtual date.
Share a glass of wine or beer and simply chat it up for 15-20 minutes.
Ask Her Out Again
After all these steps have been satisfied it’s time to ask her out again.
Now that you know more about her be sure to use a TDL that involves a date idea you know she’ll love.
Also make sure that the date is close to her home or place of work, brief, and fun.
7) MegaDate
You shouldn’t have to invest so much time trying to get a complete stranger to go out with you.
Avoid spending hours texting back and forth with one woman you don’t even know by MegaDating.
MegaDating involves going out with various women at the same time.
It means leveraging social media, dating apps, friends, etc. to find suitable single women to date.
When you’re dating so many women at the same time, you won’t get hung up or waste time trying to convince a reluctant stranger to go out.
Dating Decoded
Interested in learning how we here at emlovz can help you?
We teach our students the shortcut to finding their ideal match by MegaDating. MegaDating is our dating philosophy and it shapes everything we teach here at emlovz. Simply put MegaDating is dating prolifically with the specific goal of going on 20 dates in 90 days. This will give you ample women to compare and contrast so you can refine not only your dating skills but who your ideal partner is.
To teach you how to quickly find highly compatible women in just weeks and become the most eligible bachelor in town you’ll have a team of romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.
Our Team
Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host two coaching sessions every week
Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
Cat, Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
Aundrea is an award-winning fitness coach. Are you ready to eat right and build muscle?
Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Instagram and Facebook profiles with her help and start meeting women online
Our Community
And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded, you’d be joining a community of supportive men and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.
Our program offers every student a lifetime membership (as if you’ll need it) so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.
If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.
Dating with Asperger’s? You’re not alone. We help men with Aspergers find love everyday in our coaching program, Dating Decoded.
That’s why, in this article, I’m going to give you 11 tips that will supercharge your dating experience.
And remember: just because you have Asperger’s doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a fun and fulfilling romantic life.
Have you been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome?
Due to certain difficulties with social cues and communication, dating with Asperger’s can be challenging. Asperger syndrome (or simply “Asperger’s” for short) is a condition on the autism spectrum that is generally considered to be a higher functioning form of autism.
I’ve teamed up with Eva Mendes, an Asperger’s and Autism specialist, and the author of the bestselling book, Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger’s Syndrome to get you the best information I could find on the topic. Eva Mendes, LMHC, NCC is a proficient and seasoned couples’ counselor, who works with couples where one or both partners have Asperger’s Syndrome. Her advice is practical, actionable, and well-informed and I know you’re going to feel better after reading her recommendations.
But before we dive into the specifics, let’s talk about what Asperger’s is.
What is Asperger’s?
As noted, Asperger’s is a form of autism that is associated with high-functioning individuals. Common symptoms include:
Social awkwardness, which can lead to limited social interactions and difficulty making friends
Repetitive and robotic speech
Precociousness, often appearing in the form of advanced speech and language skills, which — counterintuitively — leads to challenges with nonverbal communication
Difficulty with eye contact
Unusual mannerisms
Fixation over particular topics or interests
Trouble understanding social cues
If you have been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, behavioral treatment can be a huge benefit, whether you’ve received it previously or not.
And for dating with Asperger’s, coaching can really help. We see our students with Asperger’s flourish because we give them step-by-step guidance to attract exceptional women. We also teach our students how women think and the social cues they use to show interest or disinterest.
Remember, above all else, your Asperger’s is not something to be ashamed of, even if it’s caused challenges in your dating life. Many people with Asperger’s have found success — including famous names like:
Dan Aykroyd
Anthony Hopkins
Susan Boyle
Dan Harmon
Daryl Hannah
There is a strong link between autism and creativity. As such, it’s important to remember that what is challenging for you is also what makes you unique.
Dating with Asperger’s Tips
Use This Dating Blueprint
People with Asperger’s tend to get fixated and extremely passionate about one thing. It’s great to be passionate, but you want to try and curb that enthusiasm a bit at the beginning stages of dating.
When dating with Asperger’s, you may be at risk of getting taken advantage of financially. If this is happening to you, you’re not alone. Lots of guys have similar concerns in the dating world or end up spending too much money during the first couple of dates. That’s why I recommend following this dating blueprint in order to impress women you go out with while also keeping your credit score intact:
First date: The first date should be less than an hour, take place during the day and cost no more than $10. The goal of this date is to build trust and rapport.
Second date: The second date should be something active and free. Some great examples would be going for a hike or visiting a really cool museum. The goal of this date is to escalate sexual tension.
Third date: The third date is where you can go all out with the nice intimate dinner. The goal of this date is to figure out if the two of you are a good fit as far as morals and values go. Physical intimacy often occurs on this date.
The best day of the week to schedule dates is Saturday, followed closely by Wednesdays and Thursdays. Sundays and Mondays are the worst days because people are in work mode and that mindset can kill the mood.
For first and second dates, try to schedule something between 11 am and 2 pm. I also recommend having something scheduled with friends after a daytime date so you can easily cut it off at that one-hour point without being awkward. And, hey, if things are going really well on the first date, invite her along with you and BOOM! Instant second date!
Craft Compelling Date Ideas Based on Shared Interests
Whether you’re asking a girl out using online dating apps, speed dating events, or through friends, it’s a good idea to find out what shared interests you have. This will help you craft compelling date ideas that you both will enjoy. And when you have Asperger’s, it helps the flow of conversation when you both share in common something that you’re passionate about.
Another way to make a date idea compelling is by using a TDL. A TDL is an acronym we here at emlovz use to refer to a date’s call-to-action. It stands for Time, Date, and Location.
Using a TDL makes it more likely for a woman to say “yes” to going out with you. Women consider it chivalrous when men make a solid plan. Demonstrating leadership in this way, makes you stand out from other men. If everyone else is simply asking women to “hang out” or “grab a drink sometime,” you’ll be more competitive because you have a compelling date plan.
Here’s an example of a great TDL:
“Melissa. I know that you and I both have an interest in marine biology and animals and there’s a rare leopard shark exhibit happening at Cal Academy of Sciences this weekend. Wanna check it out with me Saturday at 1?”
In this case, you’re offering her a brand-new experience based on shared interest, and she doesn’t have to wonder about where and when you guys should meet. This almost guarantees she’ll be interested and provides a compelling opportunity for both of you!
Maintain Eye Contact and Listen
When you’re dating with Asperger’s, eye contact may be difficult, but dates are a great way to practice good eye contact and listening skills.
Eye contact is important during a date because it lets women know that you are engaged with them. Listening can also be difficult for people with Asperger’s, as they sometimes end up wanting to talk a lot about their passions or get caught up in one-sided dialogue. Make sure that you’re taking time to listen to her. Be sure to ask about her interests and remember what she says. This will allow you to build rapport and can also take some of the pressure off of you during the date.
Don’t Get Clingy
When you’re dating with Asperger’s and you meet a girl you really like, it’s understandable that you’ll want to talk to her a lot and see her again as soon as possible. But sending a girl a bunch of texts or chasing after her can be overwhelming and turn her off. To make sure you don’t come off like a stage 5 clinger:
Spend time with friends during days you don’t see her.
Give her 24 hours to respond to a text from you before following up.
Be creative during your alone time.
One of the best ways to avoid clinginess is by MegaDating, which brings me to my fourth tip.
MegaDate
MegaDating is a dating process that involves going out on dates with more than one person at a time in order to diffuse energy and keep your social calendar full. During my 100-date experiment, I used MegaDating to find a fulfilling, long-term relationship. It worked for me and it can work for you too!
MegaDating lessens the pain of rejection — which is an important part of dating — because you’ll be hanging out with more than one person at once, as opposed to getting infatuated with one girl you don’t know that well yet.
This dating strategy also increases confidence and makes you better at dating in general. Practice makes perfect, after all.
Disclose Your Asperger’s Early On
When dating with Asperger’s, it’s best to disclose your Asperger’s early on. Remember, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Vulnerability is power. Let her know about the challenges you’ve faced.
Dating with Asperger’s is difficult and sharing your story will help her relate to you. Sharing emotional challenges helps to build a deeper connection. Allowing yourself to open up will make it easier over time. If she has an issue with dating you because of your Asperger’s, then she’s not “the one”. Bye Felicia!
Don’t Sell Yourself Short
“Don’t sell yourself short just because you have a diagnosis, suspect or self-identify that you might be on the autism spectrum. Know that you have a lot to offer as someone who is honest, kind and intelligent. Most women love a man with a soft heart, so don’t be afraid to show your sweet side.”
If You Have Anger Issues or Are Prone to Meltdowns
“Please start therapy for these issues and also seek the counsel of a good psychiatrist. Psychiatrists can help with medications for irritability and frequent explosions. I often see couples when they’re already a few years into the relationship. Often, the damage that has been done due to the aspie’s meltdowns is considerable.” – Eva Mendes
Know What You Want in Your Life Partner
“Make a shortlist of 5 to 10 non-negotiable traits in your partner. But, know to also let go of unrealistic expectations. Many folks with Aspergers can have unrealistic expectations due to their high standards for a mate.” – Eva Mendes
Cultivate The Qualities You Seek
“Cultivate the same qualities that you’re looking for in a partner/spouse, as like attracts like. Oftentimes folks with Aspergers can be unknowingly rude and can ruminate over the past and especially over negative things.
If you’re unintentionally rude and always dwell on the negative, chances are you’ll attract a partner similar to you. On the other hand, the kind-positive partner will have to do a lot of work to maintain a positive-upbeat relationship. This type of situation can be very exhausting and unsustainable.” – Eva Mendes
Relationships Help Us Grow and Live Happy Lives
“Our relationships are meant to help us grow and become even happier and more fulfilled as human beings than before! Dating is like signing up for a growth and self-transformation mission, which is basically what all relationships are!
Even if a date doesn’t work out, rather than get too disappointed, focus on what you learned from your experience. Those who are happy in relationships are flexible, open to change, and feedback. They continually challenge themselves to grow along with their partners.” – Eva Mendes
Dating Decoded: Get Expert Help When Dating with Asperger’s
Interested in learning how we here at emlovz can help you find love while dating with Asperger’s?
We teach our students the shortcut to finding their ideal match by MegaDating. MegaDating is our dating philosophy and it shapes everything we teach here at emlovz. Simply put MegaDating is dating prolifically with the specific goal of going on 20 dates in 90 days. This will give you ample women to compare and contrast so you can refine not only your dating skills but who your ideal partner is.
To teach you how to quickly find highly compatible women in just weeks and become the most eligible bachelor in town you’ll have a team of romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.
Our Team
Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host two coaching sessions every week
Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
Cat, Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
Aundrea is an award-winning fitness coach. Are you ready to eat right and build muscle?
Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting women online
Our Community
And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded, you’d be joining a community of supportive men and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.
Our program offers every student a lifetime membership (as if you’ll need it) so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.
Ready to Find Love While Dating with Asperger’s?
If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.
College is over and women are no longer wholly reliant on meeting men in their classes or from fraternities.
When women get out of college and into the real world, they often find themselves attracted to men who are already established. That’s something that’s great if you’re a guy in your 30s, but will probably suck if you’re reading this and you’re only 23 years old.
Older Competition
Guys in their early 20s are competing against older men who are more established in their careers. They have more money and can take girls out on a full spectrum of dates.
Moreover, they’ve had time to work on their dating game and can most often charm women better than you could due to their experience.
But before you decide to put yourself in credit card debt on dates or hastily try to figure out a way to age yourself 10 years, calm down.
You can sweep a girl off her feet without ruining your credit score or making six figures. My tested dating blueprint has helped tons of guys just like you find success in the dating world.
The emlovz Date Blueprints
Follow this blueprint with each girl that you go out with:
First date: The purpose of the first date is to build trust and rapport. This date should be cost around $10. It’s best for this to be a daytime date that is somewhere close to where she lives so that she can feel safe and secure.
Second date: The purpose of the second date is to escalate sexual tension. This date should also be active and (praise everything!) FREE! Some compelling second date ideas include things like hiking or visiting a museum.
Third date: This is the date where you can loosen your grip on your wallet and take her out for a fancy dinner. The third date is where you both can assess whether or not your morals and values align, and if there is potential for a long-term relationship. The third date is also often when physical intimacy occurs.
When you follow this blueprint, you can show a woman an amazing time without having to feel like you’re competing financially with those older, established guys.
This guide will teach you the ins and outs of dating in your 20’s for guys (early 20’s and late 20’s).
Dating in Your Early 20s: The Options
You have a couple of options when dating in your 20s as a guy and these choices are based on the age and experience of the women you choose to date.
Option #1: Dating Younger
There are obviously exceptions to this rule, but — in general — dating a woman who just turned 21 can come with a lot of caveats.
Understandably, a lot of women who just turned 21 want to live it up as someone who is easing into adulthood but also is extremely young.
When you date a woman who has just been given legal rights to alcohol, they often want to sow their wild oats. This isn’t a criticism to them, just a reality. You don’t want to settle down with someone before you felt like you got all these wild experiences like going out to the club and taking trips to Vegas under your belt.
Women who just turned 21 might not be interested in having a serious relationship for a while. Furthermore, they may not be equipped to handle a super serious relationship since they haven’t necessarily had the experience to navigate their way through a long-term commitment.
Option #2: Date Women Who Are Your Age
Like you, these women are in their early 20s but have gotten the partying and hookups of college out of their system. This could work out very well for you but it also puts you at a disadvantage.
Women in their early 20s often want to date a man who is older because they feel that these men are more established, know what they want and have a maturity that will better align with long-term relationship potential.
Like I said, you have to compete with these guys who have been in the game longer than you and choosing to exclusively date women your own age can leave you exhausted due to that type of competition.
Option #3: Date Women Older Than 30
Allow me to be blunt. It’s going to be really hard to date women who are 25-29, since they are looking for an established man who they can marry in the next 3 to 6 years (most likely). Ask yourself if you honestly think that you are in a place where you can commit to getting married to someone in less than five years?
If you feel that you’re ready, great, but if you don’t, that’s not a criticism. You may want to build your career and do things like save for a down-payment for your first home and become completely settled at a good-paying job.
Regardless, it’s a consideration you need to have when dating.
On the other hand, dating a woman older than 30 can come with a number of benefits and you may find that you’re more compatible with an older woman.
Women who are older than 30 have had more experience in the dating world and have had time to realize exactly what they want in a relationship. They tend to be more established in their careers and aren’t going to be as wooed by a rich man or someone who is way older.
Because of her experience, you may find that you have better, deeper conversations with an older woman, that she is more confident than her younger counterparts, and that she is not interested in drama or playing games. That definitely makes dating a lot more fun and relaxed.
Tips for Dating in Your Early 20s as a Guy
#1: MegaDate
You’re probably wondering right now, “Ok, should I just date older women and avoid women who are younger or my age?”
Absolutely not. Like I said, there are exceptions to every rule, and just because there can be some disadvantages to dating women who are younger or in your age range doesn’t mean you should avoid them. Doing so could keep you from finding a person who would make a great, long-term partner.
What you should do is use MegaDating to date all three age ranges in order to compare and contrast your experiences.
MegaDating is a dating strategy that involves going on dates with several different people at once in order to diffuse energy by keeping your social calendar full.
This dating process is not about sneaking around or being a player — quite the contrary. There is no secretiveness when it comes to MegaDating and it’s not about sleeping around.
MegaDating is something you can use when you are not in an exclusive relationship to see that there really are plenty of fish in the sea and you don’t have to settle for the mediocre when it comes to relationships.
When you MegaDate, your anxiety is reduced, the pain of rejection is lessened and the dating world becomes fun rather than frustrating.
Practice makes perfect, so the more you MegaDate the better you get at interacting with women, which naturally increases confidence.
I used MegaDating during my 100-date experiment when I found myself wondering if love truly existed. I ended up finding a long-term, compatible partner at the end of my experiment and have been happy and fulfilled in my relationship. It worked for me and it can work for you too!
Tip #2: Get In with a Good Circle of Friends
I’m not saying that your college friends aren’t awesome, but are they all the type of people you could see yourself meeting a future wife through?
Expand your social circle and find like-minded people who you can trust to associate with and set you up with a quality woman.
In our program, Dating Decoded, we’ve cultivated a community of men who support each other. Every student in our community is going through the same thing, and they all have the same goal.
They understand one another like no one else does. When you join our community, you’ll gain an accountability buddy, will meet friends in your area (our students are always meeting up IRL), and will gain access to the Man Cave (a bimonthly event where men sit down and talk about their dating lives).
Dating Decoded is really like an extension of the frat or sports team you joined in college. Except you won’t be kicked out the second you graduate. Our community extends lifetime access to all our members.
Our community is on and offline. If you ever have an issue, feel free to get in touch with your accountability buddy, a new friend you met in the group, a coach, or just post whatever is on your mind in the group. Almost instantly, you’ll receive responses offering support and advice.
If you’re looking for a long-term partner in crime, there are a variety of dating apps for serious relationships that are a great way to meet like-minded women.
I recommend my students download at least a few when MegaDating. However, a lot of women like to meet through friends and that will give you an advantage over other men who rely only on dating apps.
Tip #3: Join a Co-ed Sports Team
Meeting women through social sports is a great way to meet women and also get some exercise. A sports team is a great way to meet women without the pressure of having to sit with them interview-style or try to elbow your way into a conversation at a party.
When you choose something active to help you meet women, the activity takes care of lulls in conversation and you also are able to interact more organically.
Simply do a Google search of co-ed adult sports leagues or co-ed social sports in your area, and you’ll be able to find anything from softball to badminton teams.
It’s also a good idea to ask your circle of friends if they participate in any adult sports leagues. If they do, you won’t have to worry about going into the first day not knowing anyone.
Tip #4: Relax and Enjoy This Age
This is a very important tip, so listen up.
It’s great that you are trying to find a relationship, but don’t put so much pressure on yourself. When looking for a long-term, compatible partner — particularly in your early 20s — don’t allow this search to interfere with the energetic fun of being in your early 20s.
Right now, you have just entered the real world of adulting, and there’s no reason to rush from college to settling down.
The older you get, the more responsibility you’re going to have and, consequently, the less fun you’ll probably have time for. Don’t take life too seriously.
Most importantly, if you find yourself struggling in the dating world, don’t beat yourself up about it. Dating in your early 20s can be awkward for pretty much everyone, and you’re definitely not alone when it comes to having trouble with women in your early 20s.
Tip #5: Take an Improv Class
Not only is there potential to meet women who are compatible with you in improv classes, these classes can also help you improve your skills in the dating world.
Improv classes are naturally interactive and teach you skills that you can use in your daily life as well as on your dates.
Life isn’t scripted and there are more than a few circumstances where we need to learn how to improvise. What better way to learn how to think on your feet and not get intimidated by dating curveballs than an improv class?
Improv classes can help you relax and communicate more effectively with women because that’s what you’ll be doing during the class and through various exercises. Another bonus? Improv classes are straight up fun and are basically guaranteed to leave you and your classmates laughing hysterically.
Through humor and creativity, Improv classes teach you how to be playful, which is a big plus in dating. Any class that helps you naturally engage with other in a playful way will help you with dates and life in general, particularly if you have a job that doesn’t allow you to be social, or if you struggle with social anxiety.
Dating in your late 20s for guys
There’s quite a bit of overlap between dating in your early and late 20s.
However, there are some differences to keep in mind.
No First Dates At Party Atmospheres
If you’re dating in your late 20s it probably means you’re dating someone around your age. The older we are the more we tend to stray away from rambunctious nocturnal activities.
Don’t get me wrong, you’re still gonna enjoy a banger every once in a while, but it’s probably not the best place for a first or second date.
If you’re looking for a serious partner, don’t invite a Tinderella to a party on a first date.
She’ll think you’re a callow fuckboy more interested in kegstands and other types of stands than a serious relationship.
Tell Her It’s A Date – Dating In Your 20s
Here’s some solid dating advice for 20s-year-olds – be straightforward.
If you want to ask her out on a date, ask her out on a date.
What do I mean by this?
Far too often men in their early 20s ask women to hang out, or say, hey wanna go out sometime?
The former isn’t a request to go on a date and the latter is too nebulous an offer to be taken seriously.
Hey Jen, let’s go out this Thursday at 8 p.m. to see the fireworks at Harbor Point.
This is a concrete date request she can either accept or decline.
Not only this, but it also uses fairly explicit language. If you want to clarify the dynamic of your outing even more simply add the word date to your TDL.
Hey Jen, let’s go on a date this Thursday at 8 p.m. to see the fireworks at Harbor Point.
Slotting in the word date makes it abundantly clear that you two aren’t just hanging out or doing something platonic – it’s a date.
Sign Up For 5 Dating Apps
When you were in your early 20s you probably only signed up for one or two dating apps tops.
You didn’t have to sign up for more.
All the women in your age bracket could be found on Tinder.
That isn’t the case anymore.
Effectively dating in your 20s requires you to be on around 5 dating apps.
Why though?
This allows you to cast a wider net and appeal to a range of women.
For example, there are certain Bumble users that won’t use Tinder.
They think Tinder is shallow, used only by sexists, and is for one-night-stands.
So they exclusively get their swipe on via Bumble.
Each app appeals to a different user.
For men in their late 20s I advise downloading the following apps:
Tinder
Bumble
Hinge
Facebook Dating
The League
Each app appeals to a unique milieu.
You’re likely to find people on Hinge or FB Dating that aren’t on The League or Tinder.
If you’re not into dating apps you should be.
A 2017 Stanford study showed that 39% of all heterosexual relationships that started that year did so online.
If you’re not willing to meet women online you’re missing out on one of the most happening digital singles parties in the world.
If you don’t know how to get started online, our program, Dating Decoded will show you how.
Dating Decoded
Interested in learning how we here at emlovz can help you?
We teach our students the shortcut to finding their ideal match by MegaDating. MegaDating is our dating philosophy and it shapes everything we teach here at emlovz. Simply put MegaDating is dating prolifically with the specific goal of going on 20 dates in 90 days. This will give you ample women to compare and contrast so you can refine not only your dating skills but who your ideal partner is.
To teach you how to quickly find highly compatible women in just weeks and become the most eligible bachelor in town you’ll have a team of romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.
Our Team
Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host two coaching sessions every week
Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
Cat, Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
Aundrea is an award-winning fitness coach. Are you ready to eat right and build muscle?
Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Instagram and Facebook profiles with her help and start meeting women online
Our Community
And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded, you’d be joining a community of supportive men and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.
Our program offers every student a lifetime membership (as if you’ll need it) so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.
If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.
