Dating in your early 20s for guys can be rough. College is over and women are no longer relegated to meeting men mainly in their classes or from fraternities.
When women get out of college and into the real world, they often find themselves attracted to men who are already established. That’s something that’s great if you’re a guy around 30 years old, but will probably suck if you’re reading this and you’re 23 years old.
Guys in their early 20’s are competing against older guys who are more established in their careers. They have more money and can take girls out on on a full spectrum of dates. Moreover, they’ve had time to work on their dating game and can most often charm women better than you could due to their experience.
But before you decide to put yourself in credit card debt on dates or hastily try to figure out a way to age yourself 10 years, calm down. You can sweep a girl off her feet without ruining your credit score or making six figures. My tested dating blueprint has helped tons of guys just like you find success in the dating world. Follow this blueprint with each girl that you go out with:
- First date: The purpose of the first date is to build trust and rapport. This date should be around $10 and should definitely not exceed $15. It’s best for this to be a daytime date that is somewhere close to where she lives so that she can seem safe and secure.
- Second date: The purpose of the first date is to escalate sexual tension. This date should also be active and (praise everything!) FREE! Some compelling second date ideas include things like hiking or visiting a museum.
- Third date: This is the date where you can loosen your grip on your wallet and take her out for a fancy dinner. The third date is where you and she can assess whether or not your morals and values align, and whether there is potential for a long-term relationship. The third date is also often when physical intimacy occurs.
When you follow this blueprint, you can show a woman an amazing time without having to feel like you’re competing financially with those older, established guys.
Your Choices When Dating in Your Early 20s
You have a couple choices when dating in your 20s as a guy and these choices are based on the age and experience of the women you choose to date.
Choice #1: Should I Date Younger?
There are obviously exceptions to this rule, but — in general — dating a woman who just turned 21 can come with a lot of caveats.
Understandably, a lot of women who just turned 21 want to live it up as someone who is easing into adulthood but also is extremely young. When you date a woman who has just been given legal rights to alcohol, they often want to sow their wild oats. This isn’t a criticism to them, just a reality. You don’t want to settle down with someone before you felt like you got all these wild experiences like going out to the club and taking trips to Vegas under your belt.
Women who just turned 21 might not be interested in having a serious relationship for a while. Furthermore, they may not be equipped to handle a super serious relationship since they haven’t necessarily had the experience to navigate their way through a long-term commitment.
Choice #2: Date Women Who Are Your Age
Like you, these women are in their early 20s but have gotten the partying and hookups of college out of their system. This could work out very well for you but it also puts you at a disadvantage.
Women in their early 20s often want to date a man who is older because they feel that these men are more established, know what they want and have a maturity that will better align with long-term relationship potential. Like I said, you have to compete with these guys who have been in the game longer than you and choosing to exclusively date women your own age can leave you exhausted due to that type of competition.
Choice #3: Date Women Older Than 30
Allow me to be blunt. It’s going to be really hard to date women who are 25-29, since they are looking for an established man who they can marry in the next 3 to 4 years. Ask yourself if you honestly think that you are in a place where you can commit to getting married to someone in less than five years?
If you feel that you’re ready, great, but if you don’t, that’s not a criticism. You may want to build your career and do things like save for a down-payment for your first home and become completely settled at a good-paying job.
Regardless, it’s a consideration you need to have when dating.
On the other hand, dating a woman older than 30 can come with a number of benefits and you may find that you’re more compatible with an older woman.
Women who are older than 30 have had more experience in the dating world and have had time to realize exactly what they want in a relationship. They tend to be more established in their careers and aren’t going to be as wooed by a rich man or someone who is way older.
Because of her experience, you may find that you have better, deeper conversations with an older woman, that she is more confident than her younger counterparts, and that she is not interested in drama or playing games. That definitely makes dating a lot more fun and relaxed.
Tip #1: MegaDate
You’re probably wondering right now, “Ok, should I just date older women and avoid women who are younger or my age?”
Absolutely not. Like I said, there are exceptions to every rule, and just because there can be some disadvantages to dating women who are younger or in your age range doesn’t mean you should avoid them. Doing so could keep you from finding a person who would make a great, long-term partner.
What you should do is use MegaDating to date all three age ranges in order to compare and contrast your experiences.
MegaDating is a dating strategy that involves going on dates with several different people at once in order to diffuse energy by keeping your social calendar full.
This dating process is not about sneaking around or being a player — quite the contrary. There is no secretiveness when it comes to MegaDating and it’s not about sleeping around. MegaDating is something you can use when you are not in an exclusive relationship to see that there really are plenty of fish in the sea and you don’t have to settle for the mediocre when it comes to relationships.
When you MegaDate, your anxiety is reduced, the pain of rejection is lessened and the dating world becomes fun rather than frustrating. Practice makes perfect, so the more you MegaDate the better you get at interacting with women, which naturally increases confidence.
I used MegaDating during my 100-date experience when I found myself wondering if love truly existed. I ended up finding a long-term, compatible partner at the end of my experiment and have been happy and fulfilled in my relationship. It worked for me and it can work for you too!
Tip #2: Get In with a Good Circle of Friends
I’m not saying that your college friends aren’t awesome, but are they all the type of people you could see yourself meeting a future wife through?
Expand your social circle and find like-minded people who you can trust to associate with and set you up with a quality woman.
Dating apps are a great way to meet women and I recommend my clients download at least a few when MegaDating. However, a lot of women like to meet through friends and that will give you the advantage over other men who rely only on dating apps.
Tip #3: Join a Co-ed Sports Team
Meeting women through social sports is a great way to meet women and also get some exercise. A sports team is a great way to meet women without the pressure of having to sit with them interview-style or try to elbow your way into a conversation at a party.
When you choose something active to help you meet women, the activity takes care of lulls in conversation and you also are able to interact more organically.
Simply do a Google search of co-ed adult sports leagues or co-ed social sports in your area, and you’ll be able to find anything from softball to badminton teams.
It’s also a good idea to ask your circle of friends if they participate in any adult sports leagues. If they do, you won’t have to worry about going into the first day not knowing anyone.
Tip #4: Relax and Enjoy This Age
This is a very important tip, so listen up.
It’s great that you are trying to find a relationship, but don’t put so much pressure on yourself. When looking for a long-term, compatible partner — particularly in your early 20s — don’t allow this search to interfere with the energetic fun of being in your early 20s. Right now, you have just entered the real world of adulting, and there’s no reason to rush from college to settling down.
The older you get, the more responsibility you’re going to have and, consequently, the less fun you’ll probably have time for. Don’t take life too seriously.
Most importantly, if you find yourself struggling in the dating world, don’t beat yourself up about it. Dating in your early 20s can be awkward for pretty much everyone, and you’re definitely not alone when it comes to having trouble with women in your early 20s.
Tip #5: Take an Improv Class
Not only is there potential to meet women who are compatible with you in improv classes, these classes can also help you improve your skills in the dating world. Improv classes are naturally interactive and teach you skills that you can use in your daily life as well as on your dates.
Life isn’t scripted and there are more than a few circumstances where we need to learn how to improvise. What better way to learn how to think on your feet and not get intimidated by dating curveballs than an improv class?
Improv classes can help you relax and communicate more effectively with women because that’s what you’ll be doing during the class and through various exercises. Another bonus? Improv classes are straight up fun and are basically guaranteed to leave you and your classmates laughing hysterically.
Through humor and creativity, Improv classes teach you how to be playful, which is a big plus in dating. Any class that helps you naturally engage with other in a playful way will help you with dates and life in general, particularly if you have a job that doesn’t allow you to be social, or if you struggle with social anxiety
Tip #6: Hiring a Dating Coach, Like Me!
Navigating your way through adulthood can be difficult enough in your early 20s. When you throw dating and finding a serious, long-term partner in the mix, things can feel complicated and stressful. The tips I have suggested can help mitigate that stress, but if you really want to crush your dating goals FAST and have the most fun doing it, hire a dating coach like me.
A dating coach keeps you focused and on track by holding you accountable, so you will stick with an action plan and can avoid falling into a rut. You’ll also have the benefit of receiving an objective, professional perspective, where you will be given insight into dating missteps and blind spots you are unaware of that could be hampering your success.
A dating coach will also offer you support when the dating world gets rough so that you can move forward without withdrawing or beating up on yourself.
Ready to get started? Head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. During our 50-minute session, we will create an action plan to help you overcome your dating roadblocks and reach your goals.
Need help with your online dating profiles and apps? No problem! I also offer Dating Profile Services to help you get more matches and take your online conversation offline so that you can get face-to-face with tons of high-value women. Whether you need to completely overhaul your profiles or want an assessment of your profiles, I’ve got you covered.
Finally, my comprehensive online dating course for men will provide you with all the tools you need to stay out of the friend-zone for good and find the girl of your dreams!