“Should I put my real age on my dating profile?” They say that age is nothing but a number. If that’s so, there should be zero hesitation when it comes to disclosing your age in the online dating world, right?
Well, it’s not always that simple.
Along with height and weight, people have a big tendency to fudge these numbers. And when you’re a single guy navigating his way through the online dating world, it can be extremely tempting to lie. Statistics show that women receive many more messages than men.
But despite the competition, the question to “Should I put my real age on my dating profile?” is a resounding YES.
Why Should I Put My Real Age on My Dating Profile?
Here’s the thing. Maybe you’re only fudging the number by a few years. Maybe you’re fudging it by a decade.
Maybe you even have the type of skin care regimen/genetic blessing where your pushing-50-year-old skin totally resembles that of a bright-eyed 20-something.
It doesn’t matter.
You don’t want to enter a potential romantic relationship with any sort of lie. Even if you consider it a white lie, when the woman inevitably finds out your actual age, she’s going to have doubts about you. This can literally dismantle your connection. It’s a total dating red flag.
According to statistics published by the Pew Research Center, honesty tops the list of traits that women find attractive in a male partner.
The fact is, honesty and trust are the most important part of building a solid foundation when it comes to a relationship. If you lie about something from the beginning, the girl is going to wonder what else you may be lying about.
Lying Makes You Look Insecure
Ironically, while you may be tempted to lie about your age in order to attract more women, this type of lie may make you go from hot to “ummm…not so much” in many a woman’s eye.
Reverse the roles. How would you feel if you found out a woman lied to you about her age? She would seem kind of insecure, right? And insecurity isn’t exactly attractive.
Women value honesty and confidence. In fact, exuding confidence is something that can make throngs of women want to date you.
Ok, so now we’ve established that when it comes to the question, “Should I put my real age on my dating profile,” you 100% should.
Let’s move onto the reasons you may not want to put your real age on your dating profile — and how to overcome your hesitation.
Reason #1: You’re in Your Early 20s
If you’re looking for a relationship in your early 20s, the dating world can seem intimidating. You’re competing with guys who are older and more established. A lot of women your age may be gravitating to guys who are in their 30s or even early 40s because they’re attracted to the maturity and financial security of an older man.
That alone can make you wonder if you should put your real age on your profile.
Alternately, if you’re only dating women who are also in their early 20s, you may be dealing with girls who are not ready for a serious relationship. Women who are still in college or have recently graduated from college may be more concerned with establishing their own careers, travel and sewing their wild oats than settling. So what do you do?
Expand Your Horizons When it Comes to Age
Are you only dating women your own age? Have you been lying about your age (i.e., listing yourself as older on dating profiles, apps and when you meet women in real life) in order to seem more mature and established?
Your problem could be that you are not expanding your horizons when it comes to age range. It’s going to be difficult to attract women in your own age range because they are trying to date men who are more established. And when it comes to younger women, they may be more interested in relishing in their youthful mistakes than being tied down with a serious relationship.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t date these women (you should keep yourself open to all options if you want to find success in the dating world), but you should also date older women.
Benefits of Dating Older Women
Instead of asking yourself, “Should I put my real age on my dating profile?” ask yourself why you haven’t expanded you dating horizons age-wise.
There are many benefits when it comes to dating an older woman, including:
- Older women tend to be more independent, i.e., less likely to become stage-five clingers.
- These women are often more established, meaning they are less likely to take advantage of you financially.
- A mature woman has had more experience in all departments. This often means a more stimulating sexual experience and deeper conversation.
- She’s less dramatic.
- Her wealth of knowledge and experience will help you learn more about yourself.
- Older women tend to be more confident, which is attractive.
- As opposed to women your own age who are looking for someone older and established, an older woman will appreciate your youthful ambition and energy.
Reason #2: You’re in Your 40s or Older
Whether you are recently divorced and have recently re-entered the dating world or if you’ve stayed strong in bachelorhood, dating in your 40s (or beyond that) can be intimidating. You may worry that women are going to be put off by your age. You may think that they would rather be with a younger guy, who is on the cusp of his career, is loaded with stamina and youthful energy.
But the thing is, tons of women are excited to date an older man.
Dating in your 40s as a man usually means that you are more established, cultured and well-rounded than men in their 20s and even early 30s. And as a man, you don’t have any type of biology working against you when it comes to starting a family.
In fact, a 2010 study including 3,770 heterosexual adults found that women tend to prefer older men. Women often associate these men with confidence, intelligence, good child-rearing, and overall maturity.
Give Yourself a 10 Year Gap With Dating
If you’re in your 40s, it’s a good idea to broaden your age gap range. Date women that are within a 10-year difference of your age so that you open yourself to a variety of different experiences.
If you’re interested in having children, you’ll obviously want to gravitate toward younger women. However, you don’t want to rule anyone out when it comes to building your confidence in the dating world.
Thus, don’t set your sights exclusively on younger women. As is the case with guys dating in their early 20s, men in their 40s and above can benefit from broadening their horizons.
If You’re Divorced or Have Kids, Disclose That As Well
Many people in their 40s find themselves back in the dating world post-divorce, often as single parents as well. It’s important that, if this is the case, you disclose that on your dating profiles as well.
Remember that they’re going to find out eventually, so it’s best to be upfront about it from the beginning.
The most important thing to remember is to talk about your marital status and the fact that you’re a single parent in positive terms. Don’t bash your ex or talk about all the trials and tribulations you’ve faced. Think about the things you learned from the experience and how it helped you grow as a person.
Whether you’re dating in your early 20s, 40s or anywhere in between, the key to attracting gorgeous women really comes down to strategy.
Expert Strategy: Create Compelling Date Ideas
No matter your age, one of the best ways you can attract women is by creating compelling date ideas. In all honesty, a lot of women aren’t super concerned about your age when using dating apps and sites. The online dating world can be frustrating for females because they’re used to getting inundated with messages that:
- Are boring
- Are creepy
- Go nowhere
- Only offer date ideas that include “grabbing a drink” or “hanging out”
It’s always a pleasant surprise when a guy comes equipped with some awesome date ideas and a clear plan, otherwise known as a TDL.
Pay attention to what your online matches have listed in their bio. Create dates based on those interests and don’t wait too long before asking her out.
If you need some specific ideas and examples of great conversation starters, check out my Top 12 First Date Tips for Men That Will Help You Get a Second Date.
Best Dating Strategy: MegaDating
Whether you are using online dating tools, meeting through friends or at events (here’s an article on Where to Meet Women Other Than Bars), MegaDating is my top strategy when it comes to finding a long-term, compatible partner. During my 100-date experiment, I used MegaDating as my main strategy and it led me to the relationship I’m happily enjoying today. It worked for me and it can work for you too!
So what is MegaDating? MegaDating is a dating process that involves going on dates with several different people at the same time in order to diffuse energy by keeping your social calendar full.
This strategy allows you to open yourself to different types of people and experiences so that you:
- Feel less anxious
- Avoid settling for the mediocre
- Become better at handling rejection
- Make partners naturally more interested in you
Should I Put My Real Age on My Dating Profile? Conclusion
As a dating coach, I’ve analyzed thousands of online dating profiles and used my knowledge to help men attract long-term, compatible partners. If you’re looking to take your online dating game to the next level, check out my Dating Profile Services. I’m here to help you revise, write and assess your profile so that you can MegaDate and crush your goals.
Of course, there are many dating options available outside of your phone and the internet. If you want individualized help with a myriad of dating issues, head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. During our session, we will diagnose your dating roadblocks, create an action plan to help you overcome these hangups, and see if my 3 month coaching program could be a fit for you.