If you’re looking for the best dating sites for over 40, you’re not alone. Whether you’re newly single again or a longtime bachelor who’s been using dating apps forever, you might be ready to reevaluate. Do you really want to be on Tinder at this stage of the game? Is it worth it to try eHarmony again? Or maybe you want to give a niche site like Fitness Singles a shot?
When you’re over 40, certain sites are definitely “better” than others, but that also depends on your strategy. For example, you may not be interested in answering 100 survey questions anymore if you’ve been dating for 20 years. Or, you might be coming out of a divorce, so today’s dating scene is very new to you. In that case, you might prefer sites that are simpler but feel more authentic.
Below, I’ve listed eight of the best dating sites for men over 40. I’ve also broken them down by type, as well as the different advantages they have to offer. If you see some sites that you absolutely refused to use in the past, you might want to take a second look. And as for the ones you already know, you might learn how to use them in a new way. Without further ado, let’s take a look!
Best Dating Sites for Over 40 That Are Fairly New
When you’re in your 40s and have been dating since your 20s, you’ve pretty much seen it all. Luckily, things constantly change when it comes to the digital world. Just when you think you can’t look at that same woman in your search results for the hundredth time without hurling yourself out the window, another brand new site will come along with a fresh new pool of choices.
Are you a 40+ dater who wants to keep up with what’s current? If so, here are three sites that you should pay most attention to.
Hinge came out at the same time as Tinder, and bills itself as the best site for long-term matches. Originally, the site used your Facebook friends list to find “friends of friends” you might be interested in. But as of 2018, it ditched the Facebook login requirement.
Now, you get a newsfeed where you can like and comment on specific photos directly. It also prompts you to answer questions, and they display those answers between photos. You also get a daily “Most Compatible” match. This suggestion is based on what you’ve liked on other people’s profiles and who is most likely to find you attractive.
While it sounds simple, the algorithm is said to be Nobel Prize-winning. Not only that, but 90% of people surveyed when it first came out said their first dates were great, and 75% said they’d go on a second date. Not bad. And my clients constantly tell me they are having more success with Hinge than any other dating app (of course their goals are to long term relationships).
So if online dating feels impersonal or stale to you, Hinge could be worth a try. At worst, you’ll have a new online dating experience. And, best case scenario, you might get better matches than the random people you’ve been texting with elsewhere.
Tinder: Biggest User Base
When it comes to the best dating sites for over 40 singles, we can’t ignore Tinder. Obviously, you’ve heard of it. You might even be on it. But you may not have really analyzed the pros and cons when it comes to dating in your age bracket.
First of all, Tinder is huge. It has the biggest user base of all dating sites, with an audience of 8.5 million. Yet, unlike Hinge that forces you to read through people’s comments as you scroll through photos, Tinder makes the bio sort of an afterthought. Instead, you simply swipe right or left on people’s photos. In a way, it almost feels like a game. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it does create a more impulsive, casual environment. Combined with the sheer amount of people on the site, it’s no wonder it became known more for hookups.
So, a popular app like Tinder is great if you want to see a lot of options. The number of people on there seems endless (although you have a maximum of 100 free “swipe rights” per day). It can be a fun experience if you just want to “see what’s out there” after a breakup and don’t want to start dating seriously.
Just be aware that it can also feel harsh. People feel less obligated to be polite or text you back when the vibe is this casual. This can be painful if you’re looking for validation after a long relationship.
All that being said, if you do want a long-term relationship, you may want to go on Tinder anyway. Why? Because overall, you will stand out as the “nice guy” to any women who are looking for the same thing. Plus, the “hookup” aspect of Tinder is more true if you live in a metro area. If you’re in a less-populated area, there’s a better chance that they’re looking for longer relationships.
With one of the highest percentage of female users, Bumble pretty much turns every online dating experience you’ve had on its head. On this site, you can’t talk to women unless they message you first.
If you’re burned out on online dating by this point, this can feel like a welcome change. Granted, you’ll still run into the occasional catfish (let’s face it, they’re everywhere). Still, not having to think of witty opening lines all the time can be a relief. And if you’re new to dating scene and a little apprehensive, you won’t have to worry as much about rejection.
Just don’t get too discouraged if you don’t get a ton of messages. However, if you do find yourself in that boat, there are things you can do. One of them is, don’t swipe right on so many profiles! If the algorithm detects that you “like” too many people, it’ll assume you must be desperate. Once that happens, your profile will sink to the bottom of everyone’s list, never to be seen again. For more tips like this, check out my list of Bumble hacks for guys.
One thing that most of my clients say about Bumble is that it seems to have more attractive women. No one really knows why, though. Some claim they could be fake profiles, while others say the algorithm is serving up the better looking people first. Whatever the reason is, the extra eye candy definitely helps it land a spot on the list of best dating sites for over 40 guys! So give it a shot today.
Old School Over 40 Dating Sites for Guys That Still Work
Sometimes, especially if you’ve been around the block already when it comes to dating, you just want to come back to something familiar. A reliable dating site that delivers some decent matches might be all you need. But out of all the “old school” dating sites, which ones work best if you’re over 40?
Here’s what I’d say are the three best dating sites for men over 40 that you’re bound to know well — and if you don’t, then it may be time to fire up some new profiles.
Match is the granddaddy of all dating sites, and is practically the default choice for a lot of people when it comes to online dating. The sheer number of people who use it can be enough of a reason to try it out (Statista puts its user base at 2.24 million) — and in 17 states, particularly in a lot of the South, it’s actually more popular than Tinder, the #1 dating app.
Match also has a feature called “boost,” where for a small fee, you can pay to have your profile show up in the top six results when women are searching for men like you. This is a great way to take advantage of the large amount of people on Match, because a boost can put your profile in front of tons of women in a short period of time, which isn’t possible on smaller sites. And, they’ll even send you a report afterward that tells you how many women saw your profile, and who they were.
The size of Match’s audience can give you a feel for how women generally respond to you across the board. When you’re looking to change up your dating strategy later in life, or jumpstart things again after being off the market, being able to see how your profile stacks up to others on large site can be very telling. And if the results aren’t great, don’t worry — help is always available.
Zoosk started way back in 2007, which means it might have been fairly new when you were in your late 20s. Today, Zoosk is still going strong. It doesn’t have quite as many members as a site like Match, but I recommend that guys looking for a partner use no less than five apps anyway — so it could be worth adding to your strategy if it can widen your dating pool. To find out, see how many singles pop up in your area when you do some free searches.
One of its unique features is its automated messaging system, where you can set up an auto-reply to anyone who shows interest in your profile. This takes away the pressure of having to break the ice if you’re just getting your feet wet in online dating. Just keep in mind that it can also be confusing when you receive a message from a woman, because those might be auto-replies, too.
You’ve most likely heard of eHarmony, which markets itself as the best site for finding a spouse. For that reason, you could also call it one of the best dating sites for over 40 singles, since a lot of folks in that age bracket are looking for a long-term commitment.
eHarmony has an extensive questionnaire you have to complete in the beginning (it could take you about an hour, just to warn you). But you could receive more compatible matches, considering all the data you’ve given them.
That being said, you may or may not get as many matches on eHarmony as you would on a larger site with a lower barrier of entry. That can actually be a plus if you’re sick of the dating world and consider yourself very selective at this point — or, if you’re not used to online dating yet, and prefer a site that’s less overwhelming. Many people start their online dating experiences with eHarmony, so you also may find more authentic people on it, as well. Get ‘em before they’re jaded!
Specialty Dating Sites for Guys Who Are 40+
Do you feel like you’ve seen all there is when it comes to dating sites by the time you hit your 40s? If you’re not new to any of the sites I’ve already mentioned, you might want to try a specialty dating site that caters to your demographic.
These sites tend to be smaller, but they do attract a certain type of person — so what you lose in volume, you could make up for in quality. Here are a couple of specialty sites that are great for guys over 40.
If sports or fitness activities are a big part of your life, Fitness Singles might be the site for you. It has a simple set-up, and does seem to attract people who are leading a healthy lifestyle. The site will ask you to list your top three activities as well as your skill level, which helps initial conversation. You can show interest in profiles and conduct basic searches with a free membership. The number of emails you can send to other members is capped though. So if the site works well for you, you’ll eventually have to pay to communicate.
Most use Fitness Singles for romantic connections, but some use it for finding workout partners as well. The site has a pretty small membership base. However, if you’re a fitness junkie, it might be a good source for more dating options. Whether or not you actually find someone to date, it could be worth the experience of talking to women who share your enthusiasm for exercise — or finding a cute athletic type to cozy up with.
Silver Singles is most effective for men in their 50s and 60s. Some say that their members tend to be well-educated and high quality, even though their user base is small. The people you find on this site most likely will be around your age or older than you, with 55% of its users being over age 45. On the flip side, 45% percent of its members are younger than 45. So if you’re looking for women interested in older men, this could be worth trying out.
Silver Singles has slightly more women than men (59% compared to 41%). It works well in certain areas that have a greater number of people over 40. It’s less effective in large cities with lots of 20-somethings.
Best Dating Sites for Over 40: Wrap-Up
The best dating sites for men over 40 will vary depending on the kind of experience you want. Large sites with lots of members are great if you want to just look around or casually date. If you’re fresh out of a relationship, this might work for you.
However, sites with unique matching algorithms can help narrow your choices down to someone who suits your personality and interests more. This works better if you’re looking for something serious. And finally, newer dating sites — or smaller ones for a certain demographic — can shake things up if you’ve truly “seen it all.”
Still overwhelmed? Don’t worry, it’s a lot to take in. Not only that, but the world of online dating constantly changes, which makes it hard to keep up with! And especially when you’re over 40, putting energy into dating can start to feel like a chore.
If you feel like online dating takes up too much of your time at this stage of your life, I can help. Things like researching dating sites, creating a killer online profile, and crafting compelling messages to women are my specialty. And because I’ve worked with tons of clients, I can help you make these decisions more quickly. That way, you can enjoy your dating life instead of stressing about how to improve your game.
Book a 1-on-1 New Client Skype Session with me to get started. We’ll also discuss if my 3-month Signature program could be right for you.