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How to Get Back Into Dating After a Long Relationship

By Emyli LovzJanuary 4, 2019Strategy
how to get back into dating after a long relationship

Are you wondering how to get back into dating after a long relationship?

Reentering the dating world can feel extremely intimidating after a long relationship. After becoming extremely comfortable with one person for a long time, you may have even forgotten what it’s like to go on a first date.

But trying to get back into dating doesn’t have to feel equivalent to booking an appointment for a root canal. Take a look below for some of my expert strategies on how to get back into dating after a long relationship.


Tip #1: Make Sure You’re Emotionally Available

Before you get back into dating, make sure you have healed from your relationship. Going on the rebound can actually delay the healing process, so make sure you’ve properly grieved the end of your relationship before starting a new one.

Take a couple weeks to do whatever you want. Yes, that means if you need a good sulking session with some greasy takeout and Netflix, feel free.

But during this time, you also need to make sure that you take advantage of your support system. That means scheduling two appointments with friends and/or family per week.

Finally, make sure that you focus on your health — both mental and physical. Exercise regularly and eat a balanced diet. Don’t overdo it with alcohol.

Tip #2: Get Your Groove Back

There’s a term that often floats around pop culture outlets following a celebrity breakup. When recently single actresses and singers are seen emerging from hot yoga studios and Pilates classes looking aglow, anecdotes about so-and-so “getting their revenge body” abound.

Now, I don’t really like the term “revenge body” because it exudes an air of resentment or bitterness. Basically, don’t get back into dating with revenge on the brain.

However, one nugget of wisdom you can take from these tales of celebrities going from tearful to taut after a breakup is that you should reexamine your physical activity following a long relationship. Chances are your physical appearance wasn’t as much of a priority during your relationship. After all, it’s not like you were looking to impress droves of women when you were seriously attached.

But now you do want to attract droves of women. So if you want to get back into dating, you need to get abs. Kind of just kidding, but not really. Looks aren’t everything, but physical attraction is definitely a strong component of a relationship. And when you look put together, you’re just plain more likely to make a great first impression.

You don’t have to be cut like David Beckham or be ridiculously good-looking to get lots of women, but you do need to take care of yourself. Exercise regularly and eat a balanced diet to make sure you’re the best-looking version of yourself.

But working out and swapping junk food for healthy snacks and meals won’t just benefit you physically. A healthy lifestyle is also instrumental in maintaining good mental health and improving self-esteem.


Need Some Help?

Need some help getting started on a healthier, attractive you?

I delve deep into the dangers of a sedentary lifestyle and how to develop a healthier lifestyle in my article, Is Your Sedentary Lifestyle Putting You in a Dating Rut? Check it out for my expert tips and tricks!

If you need to make sure you stay on track and accountable, I also suggest setting goals for yourself. One great fitness goal that will get you fit and increase your confidence tenfold is completing a Tough Mudder. Yes, this infamous obstacle course is an intimidating beast. But completing one will work wonders for your self-esteem, your health and your confidence to get back into dating.

One of my former clients who found much success with the EmLovz program completed a Tough Mudder alongside my boyfriend and gave a firsthand account of his extremely positive experience in this EmLovz article: Completing a Tough Mudder & Some Dating Lessons I Learned Along the Climb. Check it out!

Tip #3: Expand Your Social Circle

If you want to get back into dating, you need to expand your social circle.

After being in a relationship for a long time, you shouldn’t look at its dissolution as a closed door. Instead, look at this breakup as a new chapter, full of possibilities. Revisit hobbies you maybe let go of during your relationship or find new ones. The important thing is that you explore your passions in venues where you can meet different people with shared interests.

Not only will expanding your social circle deliver more opportunities to meet compatible women but expanding your social circle helps to increase your self-esteem. And since you’ll be spending lots of time interacting with a variety of people, you’ll build great conversational skills that you can use in the dating world.

Need help getting started? Here are a few suggestions:

  • Check out local events, classes and activities (many that are free!) via websites like Eventbrite
  • Join social groups by using a website like Meetup.com
  • Do a Google search for social groups and events near you
  • Join a co-ed sports team
  • Start a monthly or weekly happy hour at your work

Tip #4: Sign Up for Dating Apps

Depending on how long your previous relationship was, you may or may not be up to speed on the expansive world of online dating.

The use of dating websites and apps has become completely mainstream. More people than ever use dating apps and sites to gain experience and find lasting love.


I always suggest that my clients download at least a few different free dating apps to get started.

But in order to be successful on these sites and apps, you need to make sure that your online dating photos and profiles stand out among the competition.

Check out my Top 10 Online Dating Tips for Men to get started. For all the latest tips and online dating trends, check out the articles in the EmLovz Online Dating section.

Finally, if you want hands-on help in assessing or creating the best online dating profile for you, check out my Dating Profile Services. These services will improve the number of responses to your outgoing messages, the number of incoming messages you receive, your overall profile views, and more.

Tip #5: Try Speed Dating

Speed dating is a great way meet tons of women at the same time without a ton of pressure. And like online dating, speed dating is no longer considered outdated or taboo.

In fact, it’s actually a great way to shift gears with friends when it comes to your usual happy hour.

Speed dating’s increasing popularity has made it a great event for those looking to hang out with friends in a more unique and creative way. You don’t have to go it alone when it comes to speed dating.

Invite some of your favorite single wingmen to come along with you. Even if you don’t make a great connection with anyone, you’ve still had a great night out with the boys.

Tip #6: Treat Dating Like an Experiment

When you get back into dating after a long relationship, it can seem very intimidating. But a lot of this intimidation comes from the pressure you end up putting on yourself. After one relationship didn’t work out, it can seem scary to risk another breakup.

Trust me, I know. When I find myself single after years of being in relationships, I found myself wondering if love was possible for me. In fact, I wondered if it even existed. That’s when I decided to treat dating as an experiment, rather than a pressure-filled venture.


Using myself as the guinea pig, I embarked on my 100-date experiment. I went on over 100 dates with tons of different men. This experiment allowed me to learn about the all the intricacies of the dating world. It taught me what worked and what doesn’t work. And because I was treating dating like an experiment (dating a variety of different men for research as opposed to chasing after one man), going on dates became fun rather than frustrating.

Tip #7: Start MegaDating

The main strategy I used during my 100-date experiment is something I refer to as MegaDating. MegaDating is a dating process that involves dating multiple people at the same time in order to diffuse energy by keeping your social calendar full.

When you MegaDate, you see firsthand that there are plenty of fish in the sea. This helps you develop an abundance mindset, where you’ll see that you can be selective in the dating world rather than settling for the mediocre. Instead of chasing after women, MegaDating will unlock an unconscious sense of competition in the single women so that you’re the one getting chased.

MegaDating is truly the best strategy when you want to get back into dating after a long relationship. After several breakups, MegaDating led me to a long-term, compatible partner who I’m still with today. It worked for me and it can work for you too!

Get Back Into Dating and Crush Your Goals

The best way to ensure you find success on your dating journey is to hire a professional dating coach. A dating coach holds you accountable for your goals, offers insights into the dating world that will give you an edge, and can tailor a dating action plan to your specific needs.

Since my 100-date experiment, I’ve used my expertise to help men all around the world improve their self-esteem and find lasting love. I’d like to do the same for you.

If you’re ready to get back into dating and crush your goals, head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. During our session, we will create an individualized action plan to help you overcome your dating roadblocks and find the woman of your dreams.

I look forward to connecting with you.