Emyli here, America’s Online Dating Coach. Last month, Tom and I completed the hardest physical and mental challenge we have ever done. The experience completely transformed our relationship, which is why I thought it was important to do a video about it.
What was this life-changing adventure you ask? The infamous Tough Mudder, a 10-mile beast of an obstacle course created to test every aspect of our characters as well as our physical stamina. Every obstacle presented a new set of fears for us to overcome. We crawled through mud on our bellies beneath yards of barbed wire.
We scurried through gas filled chambers with ceilings that forced us to forget our claustrophobia. We swung from monkey bar to monkey bar, then flung ourselves across a flying trapeze bar to avoid falling into a muddy pit. We climbed to the top of a high dive plank overlooking a cold, muddy pit with nowhere to go but down.
We plunged ourselves into ice cold water before worming our way up a vertical wall of death. It was scary as sh*t! I complained. I wanted to cry. I hated every minute of it. I swore I’d never do it again.
And then I went back to work and my entire life changed…
Before Tough Mudder: I felt stagnant in my work and in my relationships–I felt like everything around me had become too predictable. Then I did the scariest mother f-ing obstacle course of my life and I realized I have it soooooooooooo easy.
After Tough Mudder: I suddenly felt like every challenge I faced beforehand was so silly and so simple and sooooooo easy. I took a second look at the things that had concerned me in my relationship with Tom, things like feeling like everything had become predictable and that we were both getting stuck in our routines and patterns.
I looked again after Tough Mudder and I realized it was a choice for us to become stagnant in our relationship. This realization opened my eyes to the fact that we could just as easily choose to keep our relationship dynamic and adventurous and unpredictable, and that that choice was always on the table.
Tough Mudder absolutely changed my life because it forever changed my perspective. Nothing in life ever has to be dull. Nothing in life ever has to be boring. Life is an adventure–one that we have to continue to pursue. It’s so important to remember that we always have a choice about our circumstances. If we don’t like what we’re getting, then we have the power to change it. That realization is all I’ll ever need to ensure that my relationship (and my life) continues to fulfill and sustain me.
It’s easy to become complacent in a long-term relationship with the same person. After a while you can predict exactly what your day is going to look like, where you’ll go to eat dinner, and what tv show you’ll wind up watching at the end of the night. This is not ideal for fostering sustainability.
You have to maintain a sense of novelty in order to keep your relationship alive and thriving. You have to push yourself outside of your comfort zone in order to create excitement. It’s so crucial to shift your perspective! That’s why I would highly recommend Tough Mudder to anyone in a relationship.
Tough Mudder forces you to work together as a team. You can’t complete the obstacles alone–some require getting boosted up or grabbing the hands of your teammates to help pull you over a high wall, all things that foster trust and collaboration.
For me, it opened my eyes to the fact that I have a lot of irrational fears that create barriers in my day-to-day activities. Sometimes I avoid doing things that I’m afraid of because I feel like it will be too painful if I fail. Tough Mudder gave me fresh perspective on what it means to face your fears and overcome your personal obstacles. Ever since completing it, I’ve been craving more and more of a challenge. I feel like there’s a sense of thrill and adventure in difficult activities and I’m less scared of making mistakes.
Beyond what it’s done for my relationship, Tough Mudder has transformed my entire life.
I genuinely recommend anyone who feels bored, stagnant, or fearful give it a try. You won’t be sorry you did–well at least not after you’ve completed it.
With that said, check out our Tough Mudder video here for more on this subject…
Now I wanna hear from you…how did my video help you? Do you think you’ll take the Tough Mudder challenge? What other activities have worked for you in your relationship?
And keep up the good work because You Deserve the Perfect Partner!