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Do Dating Coaches Work? Are Dating Coaches Worth It? How to Find a Good One

Do Dating Coaches Work? Are Dating Coaches Worth It? How to Find a Good One

No doubt, you’ve read tons of books and articles about how to be successful in dating. You may already be putting in the time to approach multiple women; yet, you’re not going on very many dates.

So what’s the issue?

Especially when everything else in your life looks great on paper, feeling like you’re being ignored in the dating scene can be super confusing.



This is when a lot of guys realize they need an outside perspective. Enter the concept of the dating coach.

*Cue the proverbial eye-rolls*

It’s okay, I can take it. Since dating coaches have been around for a long time, I wouldn’t be surprised if your idea of what we do is based on some 2008 e-book about social skills and grooming tips.

The truth is, we still tackle those topics. But today, we do a whole bunch more. So for those of you asking yourselves…

Do Dating Coaches Work?

As a dating coach for men for over 10 years, I’ve put together a list of no less than 18 reasons why dating coaches are actually more effective than ever, and how they can help you reach your goals.

1. Do dating sites and apps confuse you?

If you’ve been out of the game – let’s say you’re recently divorced, or separated from a long relationship — you’re probably not familiar with the nuances of using dating sites and how to make them really work for you. Of course, you can figure out how to put a few photos up and write a short summary, but those are really just the basics.

So, do dating coaches work when it comes to maximizing your online dating experience? Absolutely. Someone like myself, who’s been analyzing tons of profiles and helping people with online dating for years, can tell you how to:

  • Find the dating apps that would be most effective for YOU, based on your goals
  • Select attractive pictures of yourself that’ll make you stand out from the competition
  • Figure out what’s going through her mind when she sees your profile and reads your messages (having a female dating coach is important for this)
  • Craft compelling messages that get gorgeous women to say “yes” to a date (along with compiling a list of epic first, second, and third date ideas)

Without having a specific strategy for how to navigate dating apps, you might find yourself just getting more and more frustrated with all the work you’re putting in.

2. Do you have a niche personal issue that’s holding you back in dating?

Whether you have an intense fear of rejection, or maybe a lack of trust after a relationship gone wrong, a dating coach like me has experience working with all different types of situations and can draw off those experiences to help you.

3. Is the culture here in the USA different than what you’re used to?

Dating in America after immigration, or even as a first-generation American with parents from different cultures, can be particularly difficult. We’ve coached people from dozens of countries and backgrounds.



4. How much success have you had in the past 90 days?

If you haven’t been on 20 high-quality dates, or if you’ve spent a ton of money and time on those dates only to end up in the friend zone, a dating coach can help speed things up and improve your results.

First, we help my clients fill up the top of the funnel with lots of beautiful women. Then, I teach them how to ask for the date in a compelling way that encourages women to say “yes.” Once that happens, I teach them how to orchestrate amazing dates that women love.

Not only that, but I also help them navigate questions like “Why am I only going out with women I’m not that attracted to?” or “I thought we had an amazing first date, so why did she ghost me?” All of these things can be avoided if you have a solid, proven dating strategy.

5. Do you have an actual dating strategy?

Speaking of dating strategies, do you have one? For example, what’s your plan for escalating sexual tension so you don’t get friendzoned?

What about your first, second, and third date strategy? Do you know the difference between those three make-or-break dates, and have you made a list of the best places to take her in your area?

Do you know what your ideal woman looks like? Where she is most likely to be located? Do you know what to wear to make her more interested in you? What’s your dating app message strategy?

It sounds like a lot — and to be honest, it is. Finding and attracting quality women (and staying out of the friendzone) takes a lot of time, effort, and planning. Believe me, you’ll want some help!

6. Have you recently moved to a new area?

It can help to talk with a coach to navigate how to handle the changes in geography that lead to differences in dating locations, types of women, quantity of people, etc. This is when it’s a benefit to hire a dating coach in your city.

7. Did you have bad role models for love?

One of the biggest ways we learn is through role models. We look at someone who has what we want, and try to emulate them. But when it comes to love, sometimes our role models aren’t so great.

I’ll be the first one to tell you that my parents were not the ideal role models for romantic love. In fact, I don’t remember them even being together. In my household, all I saw was tension and turmoil between my mom and stepdad, and the same seemed to be true for my dad and his girlfriend. Later, when I began my 100-date experiment, I honestly didn’t even know if romantic love was even possible for me. But as luck would have it, I did find true love.

My own personal success with dating allows me to guide my clients to the same place. If you’ve had bad role models for love, then working with a coach who has personally found success could be just what you need.

8. Have you focused your entire life on your career?

If so, then you might not have learned the same dating skills that others did in college, or in their 20s. But a dating coach can help fast-track your learning in a matter of just a few weeks or months.



9. Do you feel like you get a little needy sometimes?

Perhaps you find that a lot of your relationships seem to fizzle out early. You might have an attachment issue that is important to learn more about.

A dating coach or counselor can teach you how to overcome insecure attachment style issues (anxious, avoidant, or even RAD).

10. Did you grow up without many women around you?

Maybe you went to an all-male university and didn’t have any female friends. Perhaps you suffered the loss of a mother figure or didn’t have sisters or aunts close by to help you better understand women.

A dating coach can explain the way a woman thinks and teach you how to appeal to her better.

11. Do you want to date women outside your ethnicity but aren’t sure how to do so?

A dating coach can help you navigate interracial dating and show you how to compete better with men from other backgrounds.

Whether you’re Indian, Asian, Middle Eastern, or something else, an experienced dating coach can reference past clients to help you succeed in dating outside your ethnicity.

12. Do you notice that you seem to always attract women who aren’t driven or career-focused, and who only seem to want money?

It’s time to stop attracting gold-diggers and women who are selfish! A dating coach can help with this.

13. Are you an introvert who doesn’t feel comfortable meeting women in bars?

Dating can be challenging when you’re naturally more introverted, so a coach can help you find places to meet women that are aligned with your personality.

14. Do you live in a small town and find it difficult to meet people?

A dating coach can help you find the best locations to meet attractive women you’re excited about and teach you how to date in a small town.

15. Do you have a hard time juggling dating because you work all the time or have an odd schedule?

A coach like myself can help you find pockets of time that are perfect for quick, low-pressure dates. These types of outings are ideal for MegaDating, a term I coined for the practice of dating multiple people at the same time. A coach can also help you identify the type of women who would be a match to your scheduling concerns.



16. Do you seem to always attract women who are mean?

A dating coach can help you identify your selection patterns and pinpoint exactly why you keep attracting certain types of women. As a result, you’ll create a more sustainable and fulfilling love life that brings you happiness for years to come.

17. Do you find yourself constantly sabotaging yourself in dating?

If so, then it’s best to explore the root cause of such sabotage with a coach who can help you gradually make the necessary changes.

18. Are you a relationship hopper or a serial monogamist?

I used to be the same way. But it can lead to bad relationships when you do it too quickly just to avoid the discomfort of being alone. A dating coach can help you learn how to stop jumping into the wrong relationships too soon.

Is A Dating Coach Worth It?

Now that you know what dating coaches do you need to ask yourself if hiring one is worth it.

That all depends on a billion and one factors.

Your Dating Status

For example, if you already have women lined up around the street waiting for a chance to date you, you probably don’t need to hire a professional to get you more of what you already have.

But be honest with me… when was the last time you went on a date? Would you like to date more than you do?

A dating coach can get you what you want. If you’re tired of waiting on the sidelines as everyone else shacks up, talk to a dating coach. They’re professionals at expediting the process because (the right) dating coach has a concrete approach proven to work.

A dating coach will help you define your dating goals and create a plan that will help you achieve them. In this way, you’ll have a checklist of what must be done in order to succeed romantically. Without a well-defined strategy, you’ll be romantically flailing without understanding which areas of your romantic life need more investment.

You can hash out a plan on your own but you’ll only have so much success. A little assistance from a dating professional is a shortcut that will lead to the building of intimate relationships.

Change up your romantic ways or run the risk of having the same results you’ve been having. 

Who Have You Modeled?

We all have professional role models, but what about romantic ones?



Who have you modeled your romantic style on?

The skills needed to woo women should have been organically learned throughout your life. You can learn these skills organically, but we often are molded by our role models.

So here’s a question…

Did you grow up around men and women that taught you what meaningful romantic interactions look like?

Perhaps your parents taught you all you needed to know about effectively interacting with women. If this is the case you probably already seamlessly interact with women in both platonic and romantic contexts.

We receive an education in social interaction through models. Your struggle to connect with women may come from a dearth of role models during your childhood. Or maybe these role models were present but their lessons were never absorbed. If these models had little effect on your social habits, a dating coach might be a worthy investment.

What’s Your Romantic Budget?

They say you can’t put a price on love, but with some coaches charging as much as $25,000 for a few months of training some people certainly can.

It’s no surprise that dating coaches charge for their services.

What you need to ask is how much you’re willing to pay for love?

At emlovz you won’t be paying anywhere close to $25k and you’ll save money in the long run.

How is that possible?

For one, you’ll quickly find a partner, thus saving you thousands you’d be spending on bad dates.

Secondly, we teach you how to date various women at once while doing so affordably.



We teach students how to MegaDate using a three-date blueprint.

Here’s our blueprint in a nutshell:

  • First dates last no more than an hour with no more than $20 being spent (you don’t have the time or money to waste on someone you may never see again)
  • Second dates are 100% free and active
  • Third dates are free of any time or financial cap

GQ recommends men spend more than $150 on first dates. We can show you how to have amazing first AND second dates without spending more than $20 total.

Do You Have Support?

Never underestimate the power of support when striving towards goals.

So many of our students are in their 30s or 40s and surrounded by friends and siblings that are already happily ensconced in relationships. Gone are the days of chatting around romantic escapades with your buddies as you all navigate the weird and wild world of singlehood.

Now it may feel like time is slipping away. That there’s the everpresent clock whose minute hand keeps getting louder and louder with every tick.

Now breathe.

It’s time to roll back the clock.

At emlovz we’ve created a community of male students all working towards the same goal. We have students all over the country that are all in the same boat.

We’ve created an online and in-person community where men can come together to talk strategy, bond, and support one another. Joining our program means you will never be alone on your journey.

Shortly after enrolling in Dating Decoded you’ll connect with an accountability buddy who is there with you every step of the way.

Apart from students, you’ll also have a squad of coaches that you’ll chat with multiple times a week.



You’ll also be able to attend our monthly Man Cave event where men come together to talk about what it’s like being a single man in today’s world in a completely judgment-free way.

Do You Value Your Romantic Life?

Really it all comes down to how much you value your romantic life and personal happiness.

Think of dating coaches are shortcuts to getting what you want. They have the answers, all you need to do is listen and apply what they preach.

Finding The Right Dating Coach

Now that you’re no doubt stoked about teaming up with a dating coach, you have to ask yourself – how do I find the right dating coach?

Here’s how you know which coach you should swipe right on.

Find A Coach Who Has What You Want

There’s just something off about hiring a fitness coach who is skinnier than your 12-year-old nephew or a nutrition coach who is borderline obese.

Why in the world would you hire someone who can talk the talk but not walk the walk?

That’s why you need to hire a coach who already has what you want.

Most people who seek the advice of a dating coach are looking for satisfying long-term relationships that can lead to marriage.

When looking for a dating coach, find one that has managed to find and sustain love. If they have issues in the dating world and can’t figure out how to attract a compatible partner, do you really think they can help you find someone?

When I first embarked on my 100-date experiment, I questioned whether or not love even existed. But after going on dates with 52 men, I ended the experiment with an incredible breadth of knowledge and a satisfying relationship. I met my boyfriend during the experiment and, 10 years later, we’re going strong.

Don’t be afraid to ask about your coach’s personal life. When figuring out who to team up with no questions are off limits.

how to find the right dating coach

What’s Their Philosophy?

What is your coach all about?



Do they believe monogamy is old fashioned, that the only way to find love is on a cruise to Alaska, or that women are designed to be subservient to men and must be negged in order to fall in love?

Ask what your coach’s philosophy to finding love and approach is.

It’s vital that you learn what a dating coach’s philosophy is. Moreover, it’s important that you agree with their philosophy.

The emlovz Philosophy

Personally, I believe that anyone can find love.

Love exists for everyone.

And you don’t have to be rich or really, really, really ridiculously good-looking to find an amazing partner.

I think it’s important to date in a way that helps you find the perfect partner while also attending to your health and overall wellness. One of the main dating strategies I recommend to my clients (and what is also the emLovz mantra) is MegaDating.

What is MegaDating

MegaDating is the main dating strategy I used during my 100-date experiment. It is a dating process that involves going on dates with several different people at the same time by keeping your social calendar full.

MegaDating is not about sleeping around or being a big player. In fact, I highly recommend against physical intimacy until at least the third date.

The purpose of MegaDating is to give you tons of practice in the dating world. By dating multiple people concurrently, you see that there truly are a lot of fish in the sea and you can compare them with each other in a short period of time. This prevents you from getting hung up on the concept of “the one,” which can leave you pining after one person and chasing them, only to see the relationship devolve into nothing.

When you MegaDate, you avoid settling for the mediocre. This dating method also offers these benefits:



  • Feel less anxious
  • Improve your self-esteem and confidence
  • Get better at approaching women
  • Lessens the pain of rejection

All of this sets you on a path to finding a long-term, satisfying relationship.

Make Sure They’re Trendy

Some coaches still think asking the permission of a single woman’s parents before going on a date is the right way to go about dating.

At emlovz we’re a bit more progressive.

We know all about the ever-changing dating landscape. That’s why we’re always researching and using ourselves as guinea pigs to find out more about the latest dating trends.

For example, I recently conducted an in-depth review of the increasingly popular dating app, Coffee Meets Bagel. This app, along with some other free dating sites and apps, didn’t exist when I was conducting my 100-date experiment. Thus, I make sure to fully investigate any new dating technology and use my research to help clients apply expert strategies to their dating ventures. Here’s some more examples of my work:

I also connect with experts in the dating business and psychology field in order to consistently expand my knowledge on the best ways to coach my clients in a holistic way that encourages overall wellness.

We recently teamed up with sex coach Tilly Storm to add three new segments to our online platform:

  • Female anatomy
  • Foreplay
  • How to have better sex

So, Do Dating Coaches Work?

As a female dating coach for over 11 years, I can confidently say YES. These days, dating services are a $2.5 billion dollar business, and it takes a lot of skill to keep up with the ever-changing landscape.

But for a dating coach, that’s their entire job. So why make it your job? If you want to be successful, it makes sense to take advantage of a coach who been through this many times and already has the answers you’re seeking. After all, the sooner you can find and attract your ideal woman, the quicker you can start living the life you imagine.

At emlovz we teach men how to meet women using a four-pronged approach:

  • Online Curriculum – Self-paced curriculum covering every romantic topic imaginable
  • Live Sessions – Two weekly live sessions where you can learn new trends and ask coaches questions AND monthly Man Cave session where guys can bond and vent
  • Online Community – Meet and bond with likeminded guys while receiving on-demand help
  • Mock Dates – Practice what you’ve learned before going on a real date

Are you ready to get started? If yes, click here to learn more about our coaching program and to apply for a brief Zoom intro call.

If you’re selected for a call, we’ll spend that 50 minutes learning more about you, what’s holding you back from reaching your dating goals, and lastly determine if our Dating Decoded coaching program is right for you.

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