Being that a lot of my clients are Indian, it only seems right that I present a few dating tips for Indian guys.
Immigrants don’t shed their skin and personalities when they step foot on American soil. Each immigrant brings their own unique culture and attitudes with them as they navigate American life. These uniquely foreign features can work for and against you. Immigrant or not, your habits and personality have been deeply impacted through your ethnicity.
In this article we’ll zero in on how Indian men can leverage their culture to improve their dating life. We’ll also take a look at what other areas Indian men in particular need improving if they want to thrive in the American dating scene.
1. Leverage Your Family
It seems counterintuitive to wield your family as a dating tool, but hear me out.
It’s no secret that Indians cherish their families. While the cookie-cutter American family only gets together during the most prized of holidays, Indian families stay close-knit year-round. There’s simply more importance placed on families within the Indian culture than American. Don’t shy away from this dynamic. You shouldn’t have to spurn or downplay the importance of such an integral part of your life in order to find love. Your family will be around longer than any romantic interest. Instead of sequestering your family from your love life, use them to reel your woman in.
Studies have shown that women are attracted to men that place great importance on familial unity. Women want to see their new lovers interacting fondly with a family. Women are always looking for reassurance that their new hubby will make for a great father. There’s no better way to convince her that you’ll be a great husband and father than by rocking your little niece in your arms or by playing soccer with your little cousins.
Showing off your family early on in the relationship may work to your advantage if she takes to them. Like I said, most Americans only see their family members during major holidays, but that doesn’t mean they are anathema to family time. Americans are lonelier than ever nowadays. She’d be ecstatic to get welcomed into your family and extend her social circle.
Once your family meets her, solicit their opinions. Your family knows you best. They can act like an internal board of directors and give her the thumbs up or down. Family members are more perceptive about who you’re compatible with than you’d think. Ask for their advice. Or don’t, they’re bound to give it soon enough anyways whether you like it or not.
2. Play Up Your Culture
Similar to your family, your culture is something that you can’t escape. Instead of downplaying its importance, bring it to the forefront of your new relationship.
In my Signature Program I teach clients how to invite a woman back to their place using a signature move that isn’t explicitly sexual. This never fail move usually involves asking her to come back to your abode so that you can make her a dessert unique to your family or culture that she can’t get anywhere else (for more details about the move you’ll just have to click here). Framing the opportunity to eat your disparate dessert as a once in a lifetime opportunity will persuade her to come back to your place. However, she’ll only feel as though you’re telling the truth if you play up your cultural roots.
To demonstrate the appeal of the unknown allow me to offer an anecdote from my 100-date experiment. After a date with a Tunisian man, he invited me back to his place to smoke hookah. We smoked the wet tobacco and he told me stories about his culture, country, and customs. It was awesome to have someone so unique open me up to a world I had never known before.
Use your cultural roots to sweep someone away. Take them to Indian celebrations, listen to Indian music, and of course dine on Indian cuisine. Never before have Americans been so willing to experience other cultures. Don’t shy away from your culture but instead leverage it. This will set you apart from other men trying to woo your woman.
3. Don’t Buy Into The Stigma
In 2018, 30% of all marriages in Santa Maria-Santa Barbara, CA were interracial. Las Vegas had an interracial marriage rate of 31%. In the whole of the United States, 18% of all marriages that took place in 2018 were interracial marriages. Is there still stigma related to dating a brown guy? Yes. But as you can see that stigma is fading. To put the change into perspective, in 1980 just 10% of all weddings were interracial.
The more cosmopolitan the city, the more likely someone is to date outside of their race.
The browning of America is taking place before our eyes. Races are mixing, immigrants are continuing to emigrate, and whites just aren’t having babies like they used to. Despite evil policies being put forth by the right, this is still the best time to be an immigrant or dark-skinned person in America. Remember that it was only in 1967 when the Supreme Court legalized interracial marriage.
The numbers don’t lie. American women are more open to dating outside of their race than ever before. Don’t let your mindset get in the way of finding a partner. If you think you’re sexy, so will she. Women are most attracted to confidence, not skin complexion.
4. Branch Out Socially
It feels safe to exclusively hang out with Indian people. This is fine so long as you’re content with only ever meeting Indian women. Despite 3.8 million people of Indian ethnicity living in the US you’re vastly limiting your dating pool if you only date Indian women. 3.8 million sounds large but not when you consider that only half of those people are women, of those women only a couple hundred thousand are within your age range, and of that subset there are probably only a few hundred close enough to date. Did I mention that most are probably already taken?
A byproduct of expanding your social circle is getting to meet more women: married women, young women, fit women, women that don’t shave their armpits, etc. It doesn’t matter who you’re interacting with. What matters is that you’re honing your social skills, expanding your social group, and meeting new people. If you stay social and open to interacting with new people, in time you’ll find someone worth partnering with.
Expanding your social group means not just hanging with your family and work friends. Take trips out or into the city –depending on where you live- hit the coastline, attend Meetup events, join a sports league or enroll in a yoga class. Do whatever needs to be done in order to put yourself on a path that will lead to creating meaningful relationships.
5. Dating Tips For Indian Guys: Get A Mentor Or Role Model
Who do you look to for dating role models in the USA? It could be that cheesy Hollywood romance films have been your romantic guide.
Obviously dating in the states is much different than it is in India. Some Indian clients of mind describe growing up in homes where their parents weren’t allowed to touch or be romantic in public. Others have noted that they were discouraged from even touching the opposite sex until they were engaged. While not every Indian man shares these experiences, it goes without saying that dating is on the whole different in the USA.
If you don’t have any dating role models to show you the way, allow a dating coach to be your guide. A dating coach understands the ins and outs of dating in America. A dating coach can be viewed as a professional wingman (or in my case wingwoman). With a little help you’ll learn dating strategies and techniques that will help you find and court single women of all ethnicities.
6. Use Your Parents As Part Of Your Guidance System
Even if your folks have had an awful marriage that no child hopes to emulate, lessons can still be learned. Either positive or negative, by observing our parents we can figure out how best to behave while in a relationship.
Comb through your memories to figure out the source of love or hate within your parent’s marriage. Ask yourself what makes them happy or sad. Create a list of dos and do nots by observing the behavior or your parents or older siblings. Use this information to inform how you behave in a romantic relationship going forward.
Your parents have a wealth of romantic experience under their belts, even if they’ve only ever been with one person. You’d be willfully negligent to not mine them for useful knowledge.
7. Keep Yourself Balanced
Find equilibrium between your romantic and work lives. Don’t get so caught up in the grind that you forget about eating healthy, working out, and spending time with family and friends. Perhaps I’m biased, being a Bay Area resident, but many Indian clients who work in San Francisco often get burned out from work. It’s difficult if not impossible to find a woman if you’re working more than 50 hours a week and are too tired to exert yourself romantically after work hours. Finding a balance between the two is crucial if you want to find a high-value woman.
I hope the aforementioned 7 dating tips for Indian guys has helped you. I know the advice might seem pretty heavy at first. But remember you don’t have go at dating alone!
Book a 1-on-1 new client Skype session with me today so we can diagnose your personal dating obstacles. We’ll create a quick strategy for you and at the end of the session I’ll discuss my 3-month Signature Program. Meeting with a coach every week for 3 months has incredible benefits.
Some of the benefits of my program is that you’ll learn how to adhere to the MegaDating philosophy, create a slamming online dating profile, learn how to craft unforgettable dates, get rid of your fear of flirting and rejection, and ultimately find your next romantic partner.