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How to Ask a Girl on a Date and Get a Hell Yes

By Emyli LovzSeptember 27, 2019Strategy
how to ask a girl on a date

Want to learn how to ask a girl on a date and get a hell yes? I can help. Have you ever tried to get a girl to go on a date only to find that the date never ended up materializing? Are you struggling to figure out how to invite a woman on a date with you at all? Are you certain that she’s even thinking of you as more than a friend? If so, then this article is for you. If you want to get more dates with beautiful, intelligent, amazing women, you need to ask for the date using a call-to-action that compels her to say “yes.” 

How To Ask A Girl On A Date By Using A TDL

A TDL is a call-to-action that stands for Time, Date, Location. When scheduling a date with a woman, you must use the word “date” in your request and follow it up with a specific time, date, and location with which you would like to meet. If you fail to articulate the word “date” in your TDL, then you stand to enter the friend zone.

Why Is The TDL Important When Asking A Woman Out On A Date?

Without a TDL, a woman won’t be able to say “yes” or “no” to your date request. Inviting a woman to meet up without specifying the when, where, and how, makes it impossible for her to commit to you. You must commit yourself before she can commit to you.


If you say “we should hang out sometime,” she doesn’t know if you mean, “we should be friends and hang out,” “we should hang out tomorrow,” “we should hang out next week,” “we should hang out and kick puppies”… nothing. She doesn’t know what she’s committing to and hence, cannot agree or disagree to meet you.

Don’t leave your prospective date in limbo by using vague terminology. If you’re afraid of rejection, get over it with Jia Jiang’s Rejection Therapy and get used to asking for the specifics of what you want. You can’t get what you don’t ask for. 

How To Ask A Girl On A First Date By Selecting The Best Day

The best day for a date depends on a few factors. Let’s pretend it’s an ordinary week, in which case, your best day for a first date is on Saturday. The best time for that first date is going to be during daylight hours. And specifically for Saturdays, those peak times are going to be between the hours of 11 am and 2 pm. This is because it’s early enough for her not to have other plans but late enough so that she probably won’t have trouble making it on time. 

If Saturday doesn’t work, the next best day for a first date is Wednesday night. It still needs to be light outside when you meet up, though. First dates should always take place during daylight hours because your goal is to build trust and rapport and that’s much more difficult to do when it’s dark out. That said, if you’re going to meet on a Wednesday and you both have traditional 9-5 schedules, then you better meet up at 5:30 (and not if it’s wintertime) so you can meet while the sun’s still out. 

The Best Day And Time For A Second Date

The best day for a second date is also Saturday because second dates should occur during daylight hours as well. Additionally, second dates should be active and social, so meeting on a Saturday afternoon at the park for corn hole and drinks with friends is a superb plan. This is because, while you’re still building upon the trust and rapport from the first date, you’re also adding in sexual attraction through physical and social activity outdoors.

Second Dates In Cold Climates During Winter

If you live in a cold climate, you can still achieve your dating goals and plan a compelling social and physical second date. Here are some ideas: indoor rock climbing with friends, indoor skydiving, indoor trampolining, jiu-jitsu, or a game of pool at a bar.

Objection Handling

Have you ever gotten these kinds of responses when asking a girl out on a date?

  • She doesn’t like the activity you picked
  • She’s iffy on the idea because she thinks it might be boring
  • She says she’d rather get dinner (but it’s only date #1 or #2, and you know better than that.)

If so, you might think it means she’s not interested, but it could just mean your date idea isn’t compelling enough. What if I were to tell you that there are tried-and-true ways to make sure a girl actually says yes? Would you believe it was possible? Well, I’m about to show you. Here’s how to ask a girl on a date so that you get a HELL YES almost every time.


How To Ask A Girl On A Date By Taking The Lead

Guys, hear me on this one: You don’t want to let her lead you, at least when it comes to planning the date. Why? Because the whole success of the date depends on your being able to maintain a confident vibe and be the alpha male she can’t help but love.

And the truth is, she actually wants you to take charge of planning the date. Still, a lot of guys don’t. They make the mistake of not being clear enough, leaving too many decisions completely up to the girl. Then, once she senses that things won’t move forward without her input, she feels like she has to take over. At that point, you lose your advantage.

When You Plan The Date Yourself, You Control The Variables

Instead, you want to choose a date that shows you in your best light. This is even more crucial if she’s not 100% sold on you. For example, if you’re not careful, you could end up spending your first date at a loud concert where you barely get a chance to talk, or your second date awkwardly staring across the dinner table when an outdoor activity would have been much better. So if you plan the date yourself, you can be more strategic about where you go. To ensure it’s not awkward and that you feel comfortable, take the lead and follow my blueprint for first, second, and third dates.

What’s even worse than letting her take over the planning is to start to lead it yourself, and then hand the reins over to her later. If she doesn’t like your initial idea and then you let her choose, you just gave her the message that you don’t really care that much, and that you’re not the type to take charge. So if you’re leading, then commit to that and keep leading, even if there are bumps in the road.

Consider Her Interests

She will definitely appreciate a date idea that’s tailored to her interests, compared to one that isn’t. Make her feel special by considering what she likes, and let that inspire your date planning. If you do this well, she also won’t feel compelled to take the lead, because her desires are already taken care of.

So then the question becomes, what are her interests?

After all, she could be someone who you just met on a dating app or only interacted with a couple of times. Besides the obvious first step of looking at her dating profile (if she has one), the best way to find out what she likes is to simply ask her. One good way to do this is by giving her a “2-option close.” This is where you casually give her a choice between two things to see which she prefers.

For example, if you’re choosing a restaurant (and this better not be your first or second date), you could ask:

  • Dressy or casual?
  • Lively or intimate?
  • Vegetarian or meat?

Questions like these are easy for her to answer and will help you narrow down your ideas. Finally, don’t forget to think about anything she’s mentioned in the past, and pay attention to any nonverbal cues (like does she light up at the mention of ice cream?).

Introduce Her To A New Experience

If you really want to know the secret to how to ask a girl on a date, it’s coming up with a truly compelling idea. Use Yelp or other “things to do” lists in your city to help you find highly rated hot spots and events in your area. Pick something that’s related to her interests, that she hasn’t done before, and that is a unique experience.

Unique Experiences Have High Social Value

They’re the things we want to put on our Instagram and tell our friends about. For example, maybe you guys live in San Francisco and she’s been bragging about her miniature golf skills. You might decide to take her to Urban Putt – not just because it’s miniature golf, but because it’s the mack daddy of miniature golf.


So you give her the scoop … it’s this crazy amazing place that actually used to be a mortuary, and then this guy who was obsessed with miniature golf bought it and turned it into this fantasy land designed by these super creative engineers who designed a hole with the Transamerica building on top and you have to try and get your golf ball through this tiny hole that shoots out onto a cable car … you get my drift. You’ve just up-leveled the whole thing, making her feel cooler just for having gone there — not to mention exhilarated from the experience. And she won’t be able to help but associate those feelings with you.

Don’t Add Too Much Pressure

Make it super easy for her to say yes, especially if she’s never gone out with you before. You can take the pressure off in two ways.

Don’t Spend More Than $10 On A First Date

First, don’t spend too much money. People are so attached to the idea that you need to spend a ton of money for a date to go well, but I learned in my 100-date experiment that this is a total myth. In fact, I think the more money you spend on a date, the more likely it is to fail. Yet, we still shell out the cash! According to a study by 24/7 Wall Street (reported by USA Today), the cost of an average date for Californians (dinner and a movie for two) is … wait for it … $226. And I bet these people aren’t having any more luck than those spending less.

Overspending Decreases Your Perceived Value

Honestly, if you’re spending more than $10 on a first date, then you’re sabotaging yourself. For one thing, it makes you look less confident because you’re giving her a gift she hasn’t proven herself worthy of yet. And, if you spend a huge amount of money, it can actually come across as high pressure or even make her feel indebted to you.

Don’t get me wrong. You can be just as creative with a $15 date as you can with one that costs more. For instance, find a local mom-and-pop creamery and go split a sundae, or grab a drink during happy hour at an interesting dive bar with a unique history. Remember, it’s not so much about the actual things you do, but where you choose to do them … and the story you can tell!

Don’t Allow Your First Date To Exceed The One Hour Mark

Second, make sure there’s a clear exit plan. In other words, don’t plan things that don’t have a clear time limit, like a hike or walk on the beach. While those are beautiful ideas for a second date, they might make her feel locked into spending half a day with you, which she may not want to commit to. To make it even easier, you could also offer to meet at the location instead of picking her up, so she knows she has her own ride home at any time.

Do Some Recon

If you haven’t been to the place you’re thinking of taking her, go there beforehand. Maybe even take someone else, like a friend or your kids. Get a feel for it and ask questions. That way you can talk about it with confidence since you’ve already been there. The extra personal details you can add will also get her more excited about it, compared to just telling her about the Yelp reviews.

Lock It Down

Once you have a compelling idea for your date and she’s interested, make sure to lock it down by giving her a TDLGiving her a TDL shows her that you respect her time and are not afraid to take initiative — both of which are very attractive qualities. You’d be surprised at how many guys don’t do this, which means you’ll definitely stand out if you do.


So what’s the best way to give a TDL? First of all, let’s look at how most guys will ask her out. 

The Ambiguous Ask

Him: It’s been great talking to you … maybe we should hang out sometime.

Her: Yeah, that sounds great!

Him: Cool. Want to grab dinner some night?

Her: Definitely!

Him: What kind of food do you like? I eat pretty much anything…

Her: Me too, I’m open. Mexican? Sushi?

Him: Awesome. I’m usually free Thursdays or Fridays. I’ll give you a call and let you know.

[a few days pass]


No Defined Plan

Him: Hey what’s up! We still have to grab dinner sometime. 🙂

Her: Totally!

Him: Any type of food you like in particular? What’s your favorite?

Her: Umm… anything really …

Him: Ok cool, yeah let me find something.

[a week passes]

The Spark Fizzles

Him: Hey! Still, want to get dinner? A few of us might get Korean BBQ if you want to come with. I think they might be doing karaoke too but maybe we can hang out after?

[no response]


Telling a girl you want to go out with her without giving a specific time, date, and location will only frustrate her. Eventually, she may stop responding. So if you really want to take her out, be specific. Consider something like the following. 

A Better Scenario

YOU: So, there’s a great Korean BBQ restaurant near me that seriously has THE best kimchi. It’s been in the neighborhood forever, and the servers are really entertaining. I think you’ll like it. Wanna join me Saturday at 7?

Her: Sounds perfect!

YOU: Great. What’s your number? I’ll text you the address. 

Her: 555-555-5555

And you’re done.

Use A TDL If You Want To Go On A Date

Using a specific TDL when asking her out, shows her that you respect her time and are actually interested. Compared to how she’s usually approached by other guys, this will definitely put you a notch above the rest. The moral of the story is when you ask for a date, have a plan, tell her where to meet you, on what day, and at what time, so she can tell you whether she’s available or not. Without a specific TDL, you have no clear concept of a date and are 99% likely not to ever go on one. 

Don’t Put All Your Eggs In One Basket

With all that said, if you’re hoping to score a date with just one girl, you may give off a desperate vibe. And you definitely don’t want that. Instead of putting all your eggs in one basket, I strongly encourage MegaDating. MegaDating is the process of dating several people at once, to reduce the anxiety that comes with focusing on one person at a time. Once you get to the point of having lots of dates in a shorter period of time, you’ll naturally exude more confidence around women. Not only that, but you’ll also become more adventurous with your date ideas since you won’t worry so much about one particular date not going well.

Work With An Expert

If you want even more help figuring out how to ask a girl on a date, remember you can always book a 1-on-1 New Client Skype session with me. We’ll take a look at your current dating life, see what’s working and what’s not, and come up with a clear plan and strategy. You’ll come away with practical tips, tailored specifically to you, on how to change your approach so you’re able to get high-quality women to say HELL YES when you ask them out. We’ll also determine if my 3-month Signature coaching program could work for you!