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Why Doesn’t She Respond to My Texts?

By Emyli LovzJuly 13, 2018Conversation
why doesn't she respond to my texts

“Why doesn’t she respond to my texts?” Do you find yourself asking this question ad nauseam? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Lots of guys find themselves in a rut when it comes to the early stages of dating, and getting ghosted or R-bombed is an unfortunate — yet common — part of it. 

There are several reasons that a woman might not respond to your texts, but not all of them have to do with a lack of interest. Take a look below for some reasons that she isn’t responding to your texts — and what you can do about it.

Why Doesn’t She Respond to My Texts? Reason #1: She’s at Work

Rihanna let us know in 2016 that pretty much all of us are engaged in a high level of work, work, work, work, work, work. And despite how progressive things have become, being a single, working woman in 2018 is no joke.



Not everybody has the luxury to check texts during meetings or breaks at work. Depending on her jobs situation, she may not have her phone on her during the workday. Moreover, when things get busy at work, it can be very easy to neglect text messages because you don’t want to be distracted or interrupted when you’re in the zone.

Reason #2: She Forgot

Let’s say she was busy at work and decided to answer your text later. If she has a lot going on, she could have simply forgotten to text you back.

Did you text her a simple “hey” or “what’s up?” If that’s the case, it’s even more likely that she forgot to text you back — because you texted something forgetful.

Later in this article, I’ll get into how you can make sure to text something more compelling that will amp up your chances of a quick response, so pay attention.

Reason #3: She’s Busy

Again, she might not be a horrible ghoster or be deliberately ignoring you if she’s not texting you back. She could have a lot going on in her life and simply be super busy. But as I mentioned before, you need to acknowledge that your text might be boring and easy to overlook when the woman you are dating is busy and super independent.

Reason #4: You’re Not Asking Her a Question

If you want to get a woman to respond to your text, you need to be asking her a question. And, no, a simple “How are you?” isn’t going to cut it.

Ask her something that relates to her interests, so that she has more of a reason to respond and so that you stand out from other guys. A few examples of compelling questions to ask a woman include:

Questions about shared interests

Building trust and rapport is the first step when you’re dating a woman that could be a compatible, long-term partner. And when you establish shared interests, you build rapport.

Questions about food

Everyone loves food, and if you can identify something that makes her salivate and then ask a question about it, you’re much more likely to get a text back. For example, let’s say that she lives for hearty Italian dishes like Chicago deep-dish pizzas. 

Look up cool food events on Eventbrite or find recipes for unique twists on the thing she’s always craving. For example, you could say something like:



“I just saw that there’s this new restaurant that serves pizza with all these crazy toppings, like prosciutto and quail eggs. Do you think that’s something that would set your taste buds ablaze?”

Questions About Something She Already Mentioned to You

Does she have a big presentation coming up at work, a bachelorette party she was organizing and kind of nervous about, or something else she was waiting to get an answer on that’s a big deal to her?

Ask her about it. For example:

“Hey Jen, wanted to check in with you and say good luck with your presentation today. You got this! How ya feeling?”

Notice that not only did this include a question which is likely to prompt a response, but it also is encouraging and supportive of something the woman is likely nervous about.

But the most important questions to prompt a response — particularly if you’ve just started dating — is one that sets up a date. Ideally, you would have a date plan in mind that you let her in on during a previous date, but if not, send her a clear, compelling date idea via text. This brings me to my fifth reason you may be asking yourself, “Why doesn’t she respond to my texts?”

Reason #5: You’re Not Offering a Compelling Date Idea or Using a TDL

A lot of my clients ask me questions like what to text when a girl doesn’t reply to your first or second message. This is when I mention why using a TDL is so important.

If you want to stand out from other guys and get a guaranteed “yes” to your date ideas, you need to craft a compelling date that also uses a TDL.

A TDL stands for Time, Date, and Location and it’s what we here at EmLovz use to refer to a date’s call-to-action. When you use a TDL, you let a girl know the exact time of day, the day of the week and location of your date so that she won’t have any questions about setting things up or be left in the dark about things like where to meet you.

A compelling date is one that caters to a shared interest between the two of you and one that introduces her to a new experience.

For example, let’s say that the two of you are both super into coffee. Instead of settling for a typical coffee date, you could do a Google search of events nearby or go on Eventbrite and offer something like this:

“Hey, Erica. Verve Coffee Roasters is doing a walking coffee tour event in downtown LA this Saturday at 11 am. It starts at their store on 833 Springs street. Do you want to go with me, date style?”



This example leaves nothing to the imagination when it comes to the where and when of the event. But more importantly, you’re introducing her to a brand new experience that you both have an interest in. This is going to help escalate the chemistry between you two and will make it more likely that you can get closer to an exclusive, long-term relationship.

Reason #6: She Thinks You’re a Stage 5 Clinger

If you have been sending a girl multiple texts at a time, even when she doesn’t respond, you may be overwhelming her by stepping into stage 5 clinger territory. Give her at least 24 hours to respond to a text. Remember she might be busy or working, so it can take a while for her to get back to you.

Along with excessive texting, other signs that you might be entering stage 5 clinger territory include:

  • Obsessively checking the person’s social media accounts.
  • Deciding you are “in love” with someone after not knowing them very well.
  • Constant rumination over the status of your relationship.
  • Attempts to see the person as often as possible or insert yourself in events you know they will be at.
  • Canceling dates and plans with other people to see them instead.

Reason #7: You’re Not MegaDating

One way to naturally increase a girl’s interest in you is through MegaDating. When you aren’t in an exclusive relationship, MegaDating is the ultimate dating strategy to help you overcome your dating roadblocks, stay out of the friend-zone, attract amazing partners and ultimately find a fulfilling, long-term relationship.

I used MegaDating during my 100-date experiment and it helped led me to my current boyfriend. MegaDating helped me find love and it can do the same for you!

So what is MegaDating, exactly? MegaDating is a dating process that involves dating several different people at the same time. This type of strategy comes with a variety of benefits, including:

  • Less anxiety
  • Increased confidence
  • Lessened pain when it comes to things like rejection
  • Avoidance of settling for the mediocre

MegaDating prevents you from becoming clingy or chasing after girls because you’ll be enjoying getting to know a few different girls at the same time instead of ruminating over whether or not you’ll ever find “the one.” This dating strategy shows you that there truly are plenty of fish in the sea and you shouldn’t settle for less than a truly compatible, fulfilling relationship with a woman you’re extremely attracted to.

An important thing to note about MegaDating is that this strategy is in no way intended to be done secretively and it’s not about being a player. MegaDating is about going on dates with different women in order to make dating fun rather than frustrating.

But more importantly, MegaDating is about increasing your dating confidence and alleviating dating anxiety so that you can be more fulfilled and open to finding your perfect partner.

Lastly, if you’re struggling with things like what to do when she doesn’t text back then MegaDating is perfect for you. You simply won’t have time to worry about this one girl if you’re on a date with a different girl! 

Want More Responses and a Happier Dating Life?

If you want to get more responses to your text messages and crush your dating goals faster than ever, consider hiring a dating coach. A dating coach can give you individualized dating advice that adheres to your specific goals, schedule, needs, and personality.

I’ve helped men from all over the world attract gorgeous women and find fulfilling partnerships, and I’d like to do the same for you.



If you’re ready to find the woman of your dreams, head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. During our session, we will create an action plan to help you overcome your dating roadblocks and achieve your goals.

Don’t have time to chat? Check out my comprehensive online dating course for men. This course will provide you with all the steps you need to attract gorgeous women, stay out of the friend-zone for good and find a high-value girlfriend!