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How to Get to the Second Date

By Emyli LovzDecember 17, 2018Strategy
how to get to the second date

You did it. You got her to agree to go on a first date with you. You’re killing it! But while you internally do the Chandler dance in celebration, remember that this is only one small step toward building a connection that could lead to a long term girlfriend situation. It’s time to figure out how to get to the second date.

And, yes, you need to have a general plan before the first date has even commenced. Sound tricky? Don’t worry, I’m about to walk you through everything you need to know.

Get to the Second Date By Following My Failproof Blueprint

Just like you need a blueprint when building a home, I believe that building the foundation of a relationship also needs a blueprint for optimal success. And the first three dates are critical when it comes to building this foundation.

That’s why I developed a failproof dating blueprint for the first three dates.

First Date: Trust and Rapport

This article is going to delve deep into the first date and what you need to do for success. After all, a successful first date is going to help you get the second date…which could lead to a third date…which could lead to sex…which could lead to love…which could lead to—well, you get the point.

But in this section, I’m just going to give you a brief overview of the first date.

The purpose of the first date is to build trust and rapport. You can do this by bonding over shared interests. You want to build a connection during this date, but don’t worry about diving in too deep or letting all your vulnerabilities show.

Keep it light and fun. The first date should last no longer than an hour and shouldn’t cost more than $15.

Second Date: Escalate Sexual Tension

By the second date, it’s time to get physical!

No, not that way. (Get your mind out of the gutter, sir.)

However, sexual tension is an important ingredient in the recipe for a perfect second date. That’s why you want to engage in some sort of physical activity during the second date.

Consider a hike or bike ride for the second date. If you’re both artsy types, visit a museum or take in an outdoor art festival. Are you two foodies? Take a stroll through a farmer’s market like these folks.

Whatever you decide on, make sure you’re on your feet. The second date should involve something active and free. 

Third Date: Morals and Values Assessment

The purpose of the third date is to determine if the two of you are a good fit as far as morals and values go. You can determine this through a series of third date questions.

But more importantly, you want to allow yourself to be more vulnerable during this date. If you’ve already gone on two dates and the chemistry is there, there’s a chance you two could make great compatible, long-term partners.

During this date, you can go all out with a romantic dinner. The third date is also the time when intimacy occurs for the first time.

Note that you want to wait until at least the third date to get intimate.

Get to the Second Date By Shining a Light on the First Date

By shining a light, I actually mean sunlight. In other words, first dates should take place during the daytime.

Why? Well, for one it makes women feel safer, especially if you met the woman online or don’t know her very well.

This shows that you’re 100% not trying to get her to go home with you and keeps you out of the bars where a drink tab will far exceed $10 and your inhibitions will become nonexistent.

Don’t Let the First Date Go Longer Than an Hour

Retain a little mystery and build the anticipation. Remember, each piece of my dating blueprint is strategic. If you follow this blueprint, you’ll notice that each date builds upon the other.

During the first date, trust and rapport should develop. This rapport makes it easier to escalate sexual tension on the second date. And from there, you can get more intimate on the third date.

For this reason, keep the first date short and sweet. Make plans with friends after the date so you have an excuse (and incentive) to end the date after an hour.

One Exception to This Rule

There is one exception to this rule. If the date is going absolutely amazing and you both really don’t want it to end, invite her to join you and your friends at your next destination. Instant second date!

Touch Her At Least Three Times

You have a better shot at getting her to agree to a second date if you break the touch barrier on the first date.

Now, when it comes to breaking the touch barrier, things can get a little…well…touchy. You don’t want to come off as overly aggressive but you also don’t want to totally keep your hands to yourself.

In order to enhance chemistry through touch without coming off as a creep, follow these rules:

  • Focus on non-sexual areas, like the arms and upper back
  • Sit next to her during a date so that touch occurs naturally. Don’t sit interview-style on a date
  • Be playful — give her a playful shove after she makes a joke or a hug hello and goodbye
  • Choose locations that are naturally playful

Ask the Right Questions

One way to get to the second date is by asking questions during the first date that provoke great conversation.

Don’t simply ask her where she grew up or what her favorite color is. That’s boring. Dive a little deeper by asking questions about her best childhood memory, her philosophy on tipping and when the last time was she sang to someone other than herself.

You can find more great first date questions to help you get to the second date by visiting my article, Top 25 Questions to Ask a Girl on a First Date.

Moreover, asking her about interests can help you set up a second date.

Get to the Second Date with a TDL

When it comes to how to suggest a second date to a girl, always use a TDL. A TDL is what we here at EmLovz use to refer to a date’s call-to-action.

It stands for:

  • Time: The exact time a date takes place
  • Date: The day of the week the date takes place
  • Location: The exact location of the date

Why Should You Use a TDL?

Women are used to guys making flimsy plans when it comes to dating. It’s frustrating when guys ask to “grab a drink” or “hang out” without any specific plan in mind. Quite frankly, it just comes off as lazy.

Having an actual date planned down to the exact time, place and location is going to impress women that are used to dealing with the status quo. And you’re way more likely to get to the first date, get to the second date and beyond.

But keep in mind, when you use a TDL, create a date idea around that TDL that is also super compelling.

Be Chivalrous

Women really appreciate chivalry. And in this day and age, it seems like a forgotten art. Do the following to stand out from the competition and nail the date.

What Makes a Date Compelling?

A compelling date idea is one that introduces someone to a new experience based on shared interests.

Let’s say that you both love hiking. For your second date, choose a really unique trail for your date that has an epic view of a waterfall. Use a TDL to get that date.

Get to the Second Date By Being On Time

Want to know how to get to the second date? DON’T blow the first date. Show up on time. In fact get there a little bit early.

Punctuality is more appreciated than you may realize. If you show up late for a date, you’ve already set an unsavory tone. Women in “dating mode” don’t enjoy being second place to whatever was more important to you that made you tardy.

So even though I’m listing this last, consider this STEP ONE when it comes to behavior on a first date that can get you to a second date.


Finally, one way you can get better at getting dates (and ultimately finding a long-term compatible partner) is through MegaDating. Whether it’s the first date, the second date or the third date, MegaDating can take your dating game to new heights.

Moreover, MegaDating decreases anxiety increases self-esteem and helps you attract gorgeous, high-value women.

What is MegaDating?

MegaDating is a dating process that involves dating several women at the same time in order to diffuse energy by keeping your calendar full.

MegaDating unearths an abundance mindset because you’ll see that there truly are plenty of fish in the sea. And when you see that there is an abundance of options in the dating world, it makes it a lot easier to approach women. Moreover, practicing asking women out makes it a lot easier to get to the second date (and beyond), because you’ll become a seasoned pro at it. After all, practice makes perfect.

I used this dating process as my main strategy during my 100-date experiment. It helped me find a long-term, compatible partner. Guess what? It can do the same for you.

How to Get to the Second Date: Wrap-Up

Do you have a dating roadblock that you think is especially difficult for you to overcome? Want to reach your dating goals faster and find the woman of your dreams? I can help.

Head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today!

During our session, we will create an action plan to help you overcome your dating obstacles and crush your goals. No topic is off limits.