Texting is the preferred messaging medium for any modern day Casanova.
But texting with friends and family isn’t the same as messaging with a new lady.
Before we start, you have her phone number, right? If not, head on over to this article and find out how to get her phone number first.
How to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl Over Text- Show Her Your Salesman Skills:
Sometimes, you’ve got to sell yourself. As much as we’d like to believe in love at first sight, it usually doesn’t happen that way. If you think about it, dating can be pretty sales-y at times. And people that know how to market themselves have an advantage over those that don’t.
What am I talking about here? And how does it relate to learning how to keep a conversation going with a girl over text? Well, it’s quite simple, really. Think of your texts like sales pitches. It really can’t hurt to throw out a few effective sales tactics into the conversation. After all, the idea is to hook her in and close the deal for a date, right?
First off, you should always have a reason for texting her in the first place–think of this as your intent. Depending on your intent, you can craft your message to get the best results out of the exchange–i.e., scoring a date with her in person.
Start by Getting Personal, End with a Question
If you’ve ever talked to someone in sales, you might have noticed that the opening line or two are about you–the customer, rather than about the business. This is a common tactic used even in sales emails, and it’s not exactly innocent. Keeping the opening lines about “the customer” is a careful strategy designed to pique interest and keep the target involved the conversation.
If we translate this to texting, we can use the same tactic and focus on her, not yourself in the beginning of the message. Instead of saying “I had a killer workout at the gym today and I’m exhausted, what are you up to?” Refer to something she posted on social media, or that you saw a mutual friend of yours that day: “I noticed that you shared an article on Facebook about _______.” Or, “I remembered you had an important meeting today at work, how did it go?”
Then, be sure to include a question at the end. A question acts just like a call-to-action, that encourages her to respond or to agree to seeing you on a date. “I would love to talk about it over coffee if you’re free tonight. What do you think?” Or, “How about we go out for drinks and you can tell me all about it?”
KISS: Keep it Short and Simple
Okay, okay–the title of this article is literally “How to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl Over Text”. The truth is, however, that you really shouldn’t keep it going too long. The point of your texting should be to continue the conversation just enough to schedule a date with her, and possibly to come up with things to talk about while you’re on it.
Keep it around 5-7 messages maximum, which should give you plenty of time to gear the conversation around asking her out on a date. Once you’ve scored the date, close the conversation in a polite and courteous way, and let her know how excited you are to see her.
Match The Length Of Her Message
Here’s yet another sales tactic you can use through messaging: mirroring. If you’ve heard of it, you know that salespeople use subtle mirroring of movements, speech patterns and facial expressions to convey a sense of camaraderie with their customers. As creepy as it sounds, it works. People tend to feel more relaxed and comfortable around those that resemble them, even if only subconsciously.
Matching the length of her message works as a form of mirroring. If you send a short message after she sends a long one, she’s likely going to feel disappointed. Needless to say, she might feel awkward if she sends a short message, and you send her back a long one.
If you match the length of her message, however, she’s going to feel like you’re on the same page. If she feels like you’re on the same page, she’s more likely to feel comfortable talking to you.
Want more tricks on reading her movements in person? Check out this article on 7 Signs She Wants You To Make a Move before your next date.
Match Her Time To Respond
Similarly, you can use the above mirroring tactic on your response time. You should always try to take the same amount of time to respond to her message as the amount of time she took to answer yours.
Why? Well, because of mirroring, of course! If she takes three hours to respond to your text, while you took only three minutes to respond to hers, you’re not on the same page. Same goes for the reverse. If she took three minutes to respond to you, don’t keep her waiting three hours for a response. Unless, of course, you’re honestly incapable of answering her back that quickly.
If that’s the case, let her know why you took so long to respond. She’ll appreciate knowing that you would’ve matched her response time, if you could have–which will put you back on the same page again.
Remember, this really isn’t the time you want to play games. To learn how to do this without having it backfire on you, follow the link to this article on how to play hard to get with a girl.
The Best Days of the Week to Text Her
If you know anything about advertising or marketing, you know that there are certain dates and times where people are more likely to engage a call-to-action than others.
Just like in marketing, the same tactic applies when you’re texting a girl. It even applies to the day you ask her out, too–and if it’s over text, you might want to stick to these days to improve your chances of getting a yes.
When in doubt, text her on Sunday. Why? Well, it’s widely thought that single people are alone on Sundays, doing solitary chores or watching television by themselves. Moreover, single people are more likely to feel lonely and sad about it, according to some studies, which translates to a great time for you to reach out to her. As a result, she might be much more optimistic about planning something social, and more likely to give you a chance.
You also might want to try texting on a Wednesday, when people are starting to plan their weekend. Try to send the message to her a bit earlier in the day, maybe early afternoon, when she’s likely to still have her schedule free.
Crafting the Perfect Text Message
Considering how popular text messaging has become in our society, it’s safe to say that texting is here to stay. Most people arrange dates over text message, and texting is an integral part of our culture.
Sales techniques can be helpful when figuring out how to keep a conversation going with a girl over text. But the truth is, knowing how to craft the perfect message can be a crap-shoot. A lot depends on her personality, on your communication skills, and your chemistry together. And what works on one girl, may not work on another.
Stop Messaging
You don’t want to become pen pals with this woman. If you’re serious about dating her, date.
Stop putzing around and wasting time online. Every woman wants to date a man. That means finally sacking up and asking her out with a TDL. TDL stands for time, date, location.
When asking a woman out, don’t simply write, hey want to go out sometime?
This is a low-value offer that shows you put zero thought into asking her out. If you two have already been chatting, write to her, asking her out on a specific date. Clarify the time of the date, the day, and the location.
Ideally you choose a date that takes place close to her home or place of work, is midweek (if a first date), and one she’s definitely going to agree to.
First dates should last no longer than an hour and cost no more than $20. If you’re wondering how to have the perfect first date, read this article.
Stop messaging and ask her out already!
Message Her Back
I want to be clear, stop messaging her means stop meaningless conversation and ask her out already.
This doesn’t mean ghosting her or not responding to her messages. If she asks you a question, respond to it. Don’t tell her you’d rather chat in person, ignore her, or give her a two word response. This doesn’t mean you should write her a state of the union speech either.
Write just enough to answer the question but leave her wanting more.
If you think she’s texting too often just tell her that you’re not really a texter and that you’re really excited about your upcoming date. If you don’t have a date planned, take this opportunity to ask her out.
Stop With Low Value Messages
Sure texting her good morning and goodnight everyday might seem cute, but they’re basic texts that probably aren’t winning you any brownie points. If you two just started dating, I guarantee this will turn her off. Messaging her simply, good morning is just giving her another chore to do before work. You’re not brightening up her day.
Of course if you’re messaging something sweet or sending a link to an article/podcast/song/meme that’s a different story.
That being said you should avoid cliche texts that offer little value or stimulation.
Dating Decoded
Interested in learning how we here at emlovz can help you?
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And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded, you’d be joining a community of supportive men and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.
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If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.
Hear what’s going on in our clients’ dating lives.