When I was a single woman, I hated it when men would play games with me. At the same time though, I had to acknowledge that being too available was a total turn off. That’s why I created this simple, step-by-step guide for men that explains exactly how to play hard to get with a girl.

The goal here is to ensure that you keep yourself in demand naturally. To do so, you’ll need to fill up your social calendar with fun and interesting activities. This will protect you from becoming overly available in the eyes of one woman. It will also save you the hassle of playing games that push her away.

The reason why it’s never a good idea to play games is because game-play is inauthentic. You have to be your most authentic self in order to attract the perfect partner. If your life isn’t exciting to you, well then we’ve got some work to do.

So… want to learn how to play hard to get with a girl? I’ll show you. 

MegaDate – Date 5 Women at the Same Time

When you focus all of your energy on just one woman, it is easier to adopt a scarcity mindset. A scarcity mindset is characterized by having a singular focus on a limited quantity of value. It happens when a group of people begin competing for a limited resource. The fear of losing this scarce resource breeds anxiety, fear, and a disregard for alternative options.

When you become too focused on one woman, it makes the woman you are focusing on too valuable for your own good. This can lead you to behave differently than you would if you had many options to choose from. The energy shifts in a way that makes her appear more valuable than you. In short, you lose leverage because you’re “all-in” on one woman. It’s a basic supply and demand model of operation.

Alternatively, Megadating is a strategy for controlling your mindset. It allows you to maintain a balanced energy because you’re not focusing on just one girl, you’re enjoying the time of multiple women. I make all of my coaching clients megadate to diffuse their energy and boost their self-confidence. It may seem unnatural at first but it’s an excellent way to compare multiple women to see who you’re most compatible with. It also protects you from settling for mediocre. I want my clients to find their perfect partner, not just the first woman that agrees to sleep with them. My clients know they deserve better. 

Leverage Social Media

If you want to learn how to play hard to get with a girl, add the women you date on social media. Then post lots of photos of you living an amazing life so they can see it. This will show the women you’re interested in what their life would be like if they were a part of yours. Women want a preview of what they could experience with different partners. They are in the process of comparing and contrasting their options. Show them how amazing your life is by leveraging social media.

Many of my clients tell me that they feel unnatural posting tons of pictures on social media but the benefits outweigh the doubts. It will help to boost your perceived value tenfold. Women who can’t see how awesome your life is will never know what they’re missing. So show them, through pictures.

If you’re super uncomfortable with taking photos of yourself, invite your friends who love photo opps to hang with you more often. Suggest that “this would make an awesome photo” to give them the hint that they should start snapping. Make sure you’re also going to fun and interesting places where it logically makes sense to take photos. If you went to see the Statue of Liberty, would it really be awkward to take a photo? I think not.

Make Her Laugh

If you really want to learn how to play hard to get with a girl, make her laugh. A funny idea for a confident man would be to get a pink selfie stick and own the fact that you love taking pictures with it. Obviously it’s not something I’d recommend for my more introverted clients, but an extremely confident man who could own the fact that he’s got a pink selfie stick—that’s funny and the confidence is attractive.

You can even use the absurd selfie stick to get hot women to join you for a picture. A line I might use would be “I see you looking at my stick—now you have to be in my photo.” Try having an adult beverage beforehand to garner more confidence.

In summary, take pictures of yourself in exotic and fun locations. When you’re hanging out with groups of friends, make sure you get in the middle of the group for the picture. This will demonstrate that you are well-liked. Make sure to add all of your photos on social media. Double points if you can get your friend to tag you in the photo because it demonstrates social proof.  Every girl wants a man who is well-liked by awesome friends, and of course knows how to make her laugh.

Know Your Market Value

This takes me back to my favorite topic, Megadating. When you date a lot of women at the same time, it allows you to clearly see the opinion multiple women have of you. If one woman doesn’t seem to be that interested in you, remind yourself of what the other women you’re dating seem to think.

Remember how Jenny thinks you’re super funny, or Victoria always says that you’re the sweetest. And what about Tabitha, who says she finds your intelligence incredibly sexy. Dating multiple women at the same time will help to boost your confidence when one woman doesn’t see your full value. This will naturally make it easier for you to deal with rejection.

Another thing to keep in mind is that each woman might value something different about you. This can help to boost your confidence because it will remind you of the many strengths you have.

How to Play Hard to Get with a Girl by Having More Fun

If one more of my clients tells me that they don’t have amazing plans scheduled for the upcoming weekend, I’m going to scream! Your life needs to be filled to the brim with awesome activities. No woman wants to live a boring life—ever—so if yours isn’t awesome all the time, you better make some changes. The name of the game is value—add value to your own life and you instantly become more valuable to the women you want to share it with.

A woman wants to date a man who’s life is adventurous, fun, and exciting—not predictable, boring, or depressing. Women follow fascinating men. The good news is that you get to start living an amazing life and you get to have more fun! It’s a win-win. Make it a priority to do cooler things.

Action Plan: Join MeetUp.com stat! It’s my favorite way to meet new people who are interested and passionate about similar things. There’s a plethora of events you can attend in an unlimited number of categories. You can join a sailing club, you can check out a hiking group, join a Tough Mudder event, you can even become a member of a local kick-ball league. All fun and exciting activities that add value to your life.

I even have a client who is a master scuba diver and he found scuba diving MeetUp groups in Northern California—where the water is super frigid. That’s crazy! Seriously, you can find so many fun things to do that you’re going to love your life.

Hang Out with Great People

If you have people in your friend group that are questionable, find better friends. I’m not saying that you should cut out people who aren’t wealthy and flashy, I’m saying you should cut out people who don’t make you happy. If your friends do not bring out the best in you, you need to start looking for those who do. Do your friends make you laugh? Do you do fun activities together? Do they fascinate you? 

If you’ve collected an eclectic group of people that you’d rather not spend a weekend with—you need to up your social strategy. Women want to know that you are well-liked by others. Friends provide social proof and add value for you in a woman’s eyes.

If you really want to learn how to play hard to get with a girl, then you should know that good friends are super important. They demonstrate that you are popular, fun, and trust-worthy. However, if you’re hanging with friends who do questionable things like drugs, or stealing, or their just boring people, those aren’t great examples of social proof. In fact, they can actually counteract your value in a woman’s mind because she’ll wonder what’s wrong with you to hang out with low-value people.

As a general rule, I’d avoid friends who are clearly drug users, alcoholic, severely overweight, boring, hate their jobs, or are mean to people (especially mean to servers). These traits indicate a lack of fulfillment in their lives and aren’t good for building social proof.

…And now you know how to play hard to get with a girl. 

Wanna Chat?

Are you the type of person that needs a little push to get things done? I know I am. I have a coach for everything. A skin coach, fitness class coaches, career coach, a life coach, and so on. I want to get and give the best out of life. 

So if you’re looking for a dating coach, I’d love to help you. Whether it’s learning how to play hard to get with a girl, or just building a better dating strategy. Head on over to my calendar and book a new client Skype coaching session with me today.