5 Signs She’s Losing Interest Dating You & What You Can Do About It
Are you starting to recognize signs she’s losing interest in dating you? No matter how much dating experience you have, it always feels terrible when the person you’ve been seeing starts to pull away. If you’re worried that the woman you’re dating may be thinking about breaking up with you, pay attention to different signs she’s losing interest.
When a woman loses interest in a man, the signs can range from the very obvious to the extremely subtle. Sometimes, the signs may also double as red flags, meaning that getting out of the relationship can actually be a very good thing. Regardless of whether the relationship is salvageable after the woman you’re seeing begins to lose interest (in many cases, you can easily reignite chemistry in your relationship), there are several things you can do to keep your confidence and overall well-being intact when she shows these types of signs.
Take a look below at the fives signs she’s losing interest in dating you and what you can do about it.
Signs She’s Losing Interest Dating You
#1: She Hasn’t Been Texting or Calling as Frequently
Your phone used to light up with text messages from her, each one peppered with the smiley-face and heart emojis. But suddenly the emojis are gone and she responds to your text with one-word answers, if at all. You find yourself initiating practically every conversation, or every conversation entirely. These are definite signs she’s losing interest through text (or lack or text messaging).
What You Can Do About It
Take a moment to assess your own text messages when you’re trying to communicate with this girl. Ask yourself the following questions:
-Do you only send texts that require “yes” or “no” answers?
-Do you only text her things like “Hey,” “Hi,” or “How was your day?”
-Be honest, do you text her constantly, even when she isn’t responding?
-Do you send her weird pictures? And by weird, I mean do you send her random shirtless photos, selfies where you aren’t smiling and look borderline homicidal? You may laugh, but this is a big mistake that men often make!
-If any of the following ring true, there are a few different strategies you can use to prompt her to respond to you.
Ask Open Ended Questions
A boring question like, “Did you have a good day?” is much easier to ignore than something like, “So how did your big presentation go? I know you were nervous, but I have full faith you killed it :)”
Ask her an open-ended question that will require more than a one-word answer, and tailor the question to her interest or one of your shared interests. For example, if there’s a band the two of you like, and a music festival is coming up that is featuring musicians with a similar style, you can text her something like this:
“Hey there, my fellow Neon Trees fan. There’s a music festival happening at Golden Gate Park this Saturday, starting at 4 p.m. with a lot of local bands that seem pretty similar to Trees. How would you like to go with me?”
Constant Texting = Stage 5 Clinger Status
They say that “patience is a virtue” for good reason. When it comes to waiting for a girl to text you back, you obviously don’t want to wait days or a week to get a response, but bombarding her with texts is not the way to go and can actually send her running.
When you send her a text that has an open-ended question and/or a compelling date idea, give her 24 hours to respond. Remember that she may be busy at work, stressed out, or simply hasn’t been keeping an eye on her phone. Don’t freak out and impulsively mass text message her in an attempt to get her to talk to you — you’ll only drive her away.
If you find yourself ruminating over the fact that she hasn’t responded to you, instead of reaching for the phone, do this instead:
-Go for a walk or jog.
-Spend time with friends or family.
-Savor your alone time by doing something creative, reading a book or watching your favorite Netflix show.
Stop Sending Photos
Unless it’s a picture of something really cool that relates to a shared interest (for example, sending a pic of cute dogs at a dog park and then suggesting a dog-related date like yappy hour or dog yoga is perfectly acceptable), don’t send photos. She will be guaranteed to show signs she’s losing interest if you weird her out.
Even if you have a really jacked body, sending her a borderline-naked picture showing off your ladder-like abdomen is not sexy — it’s weird. Sending a gym or shirtless photo can make you come off as self-absorbed, which is a big turn-off for women. We want you to have confidence in yourself, but when that confidence turns into cockiness, your appeal goes down with women.
Based on my research and testaments from other women, it seems like another big trend with texting mistakes comes from men sending selfies to women — creepy selfies. As in, you’re not smiling and you’re sporting a vacant stare. I don’t know why men do this or think it’s appealing, but please stop. Women find it strange and confounding, so stick to words instead.
When She Disappears
If you use my strategies and the weeks still tick by with no response from the girl you’ve been seeing, I’m sad to inform you that you have been ghosted. Ghosting occurs when someone you have been dating — whether you are in the early stages of dating or a full-fledged, long-term relationship — drops out of your life entirely with no explanation.
Ghosting is extremely hurtful and confusing. The most important thing to remember if you get ghosted is that it’s not your fault. Ghosting is a cowardly way of ending a relationship and also shows a lack of maturity. Give yourself time to heal if you get ghosted by someone you were in a serious relationship with, as the pain of that breakup will be worse than if you weren’t exclusive or just started seeing someone.
Later in this article, I will offer my top dating strategy to help you enjoy your time in the dating world and experience less pain and confusion if things like ghosting come up with future partners.
Sign She’s Losing Interest #2: She Keeps You at Arm’s Length
Let’s say you’ve been dating a girl for a while, and it’s at the point where you have been excited to introduce her to your friends and vice versa. If the girl you’re seeing suddenly doesn’t want to include you in any of her co-ed group outings (girls’ nights or bachelorette parties obviously don’t count), or continually cancels or puts off plans to go out with you, there’s a good chance that she’s losing interest.
What You Can Do About It
If the person you’re seeing continually stashes you away, keeping you from getting close to any of their friends or family, there’s a good chance that she may be emotionally unavailable. Other signs of emotional unavailability can include things like:
-Mood swings (she’s hot and cold with you)
-Bashing her exes or gushing about her exes
-Claiming to be disinterested when it comes to things like “labels” in relationships
-Criticizing you and picking arguments
The best thing you can do in this situation is to address it with her in an assertive yet non-confrontational way. Use “I” messages when talking to her to prevent her from becoming defensive. For example, you could say something like:
“I’ve noticed that you have been spending a lot of more time with your friends and you haven’t invited me along to certain events like you used to. When that happens, it makes me feel like you might be losing interest or want to pull away. I wanted to be honest with you about how I feel and check in with how you’re feeling about everything.”
Be honest but open and calm. By offering her a chance to be open with you about her feelings, you may get more clarity on her behavior and either find a way to work through the issue or learn that this might not be the best match.
Make sure you gauge her reaction and take it to heart. If she talks in circles, makes a lot of half-hearted excuses or becomes angry with you, that’s a big red flag. Don’t continue to date someone if they mistreat you and especially if they don’t allow you to be open and honest with them about your feelings.
Sign She’s Losing Interest #3: Signs of Infidelity
Has this girl in question been secretive about technology? Does her work schedule suddenly and inexplicably change in a way that has led to her having to “stay late” and skip out on plans with you? Has she suddenly lost interest in sex?
All of the above can be signs that a woman is cheating. Other signs include:
-Drastic changes in her appearance (she is wearing way more makeup than usual, working out a lot, has her hair done differently)
-Inexplicable anger and defensiveness
-Attempts to throw you off by accusing YOU of cheating
What You Can Do About It
The only thing you can really do when it comes to infidelity is to confront the person about it. Although it is an extremely emotionally charged topic, remain calm and exit the situation if she becomes angry and irrational. Understandably, infidelity is one of the top deal breakers people have when it comes to relationships. Cheating fractures trust, which is the foundation of a good relationship.
If it turns out the person you’re seeing is cheating and you end the relationship, take time to heal from the heartache and understand that it’s not your fault.
Sign She’s Losing Interest #4: She Seems Bored on Dates with You
If it seems like things have become stale during your dates, she may start to lose interest in you.
But this can be an easy fix if the reason for her boredom is more to do with the date locations you’ve picked or if you have both fallen into a routine. Do all your dates involve grabbing a coffee or going to a bar? Have you gotten far enough in your relationship that you Netflix and chill ad nauseam? Doing the same old thing all the time can decrease chemistry and make her lose interest.
What You Can Do About It
Regardless of what dating stage you are in, you should always make your dates compelling in order to build and sustain chemistry.
One way that you can make a date extremely compelling is to craft dates based on your shared interests that also introduce her to a new experience. For example, let’s say you both consider yourself adrenaline junkies and big fans of extreme sports. You could offer to take her to a beginner’s lesson on something like kiteboarding or air trapeze, where you both would get a rush of adrenaline in a safe environment.
Another way to curb boredom when a girl is showing signs she’s losing interest is to pair this date with a good TDL. A TDL is an acronym for Time, Date, and Location.
Regardless of what stage of dating you’re in, women really appreciate it when men take the time to set up a concrete plan for a date. This makes men seem chivalrous and it also prevents a frustrating back-and-forth conversation about where and when the two of you should meet up.
Here’s an example of a compelling date idea with an awesome TDL:
“Hey Jen. I know you mentioned you were interested in trying something new, like kiteboarding. There’s a class going on at [insert location here] this Saturday at 11am. How would you like me to take you there for our next date? Afterward, we could grab a smoothie at Joe & the Juice.”
If you think she’s showing signs she’s losing interest, presenting her with this kickass date idea is sure to make her change her tune.
Sign She’s Losing Interest #5: She Cancels Plans on You & You’ve Only Been Out a Couple Times
As far as signs she’s losing interest go, this one is specially reserved for those of you who aren’t exclusive with the woman in question. If you’re not exclusive with someone and find yourself chasing, you need to quit it. Aside from the signs that she’s losing interest (not returning your text messages, canceling plans, flirting with other guys etc.), some women who encourage men to chase them are manipulative. Signs that she’s trying to get you to chase her include:
-Getting upset at you for not including her in activities
-Trying to make you jealous
This is very different from the aforementioned, where a woman seems content to do things without you, doesn’t want to break the touch barrier with you and bails on plans.
But regardless of what you’re experiencing, if you’re not exclusive with someone and find yourself wanting to chase them, you need to stop that ASAP.
What You Can Do About It
If you’re not exclusive with this woman, it’s time to start MegaDating.
This dating strategy will save you a lot of heartache, anxiety, and stress. MegaDating will also prevent you from chasing after women and lead you to a long-term fulfilling partnership, where you won’t have to worry about signs she’s losing interest.
So what is MegaDating, exactly?
MegaDating is a dating process that involves going on dates with different people at the same time in order to diffuse energy by keeping your calendar full. This strategy is not about being a secretive player or sleeping around. In fact, sex doesn’t have to be a part of the equation at all when you MegaDate.
This strategy is simply about seeing firsthand that there’s plenty of fish in the sea, which prevents you from getting hung up on the idea of “the one” and settling for the mediocre.
When it comes to keeping women interested, MegaDating delivers this in spades. When you MegaDate, this automatically triggers a natural sense of competition among women, because you’re showing that you have enough confidence in yourself to put yourself out there and that you’re not going to put a label on something until you and that person have truly earned it.
And if a woman you’re dating starts to show signs she’s losing interest, it won’t be as big of a deal. MegaDating lessens the pain of rejection because even if one woman ghosts you, you already have a few other interesting women you’re hanging out with.
Initially, you may think MegaDating sounds sleazy and even immoral, but that’s not the case.
MegaDating is simply a case of trying to find a super compatible partner as quickly as possible. As a happy byproduct, you’ll learn to identify signs she lost interest, boost confidence, refine dating skills, avoid settling, and more.
During my 100-date experiment, I used MegaDating as my main strategy to find a compatible, long-term partner. It worked for me and it can work for you too!
Sign She’s Losing Interest #6: She Never Iniaties Texts Or Asks You Out
One of the tell-tale signs your girlfriend is losing interest through text is if she rarely shoots you the first message.
Forget about asking you out for a second.
If she’s not asking you out perhaps it’s because she feels weird “acting manly” and taking charge or doesn’t know how you feel about her and is worried about rejection.
A sign she’s losing interest is when she doesn’t text at all or refuses to initiate a conversation via text.
Everyone loves chatting it up with the person they’re romantically involved with. Memes, music, and sweet nothings will be exchanged at a rapid pace.
But is your dynamic a bit one-sided?
It’s difficult to say but she lost interest.
That or she’s a horrible texter, either way, it’s time to get some answers.
What You Can Do About It
Ask her about her texting habits.
If she explains that she absolutely hates texting you might want to give her a break.
However, directly asking her why she never initiates a conversation would give her the perfect chance to tell you what’s been on her mind. While this is one of the obvious signs she’s losing interest it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
You want to identify the signs she is slowly losing interest before you invest too much time and money into a relationship that isn’t going anywhere.
Signs She’s Losing Interest: Wrap Up
If you want a more individualized assessment of the signs she lost interest or if you’re trying to get back into the dating world and need some guidance, I’m here to help. My team and I have spent years coaching men around the world helping them increase their confidence and find lasting love. And we’d love to do the same for you!
If you’re ready to get started, head over to our calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Zoom session with me or one of my other coaches today.
In our program, we actually have an entire segment dedicated to identifying the signs that she’s losing interest and how to move forward. You’ll learn these skills via mock dates, weekly strategy sessions, and via our online curriculum.
During this intro session, we will discuss your dating roadblocks and come up with an action plan to help you crush your goals. We’ll also discuss my coaching and matchmaking programs to see if they are a fit for you!
Our coaching and matchmaking programs are the fastest way for you to reach dating goals like finding a long-term relationship this year. Click here to watch my webinar to learn more about our services.