Day: January 11, 2024

Wondering how to approach women with their friends or who might be in a group?

Sometimes approaching a group of women is like approaching a hydra.

Except this hydra is drop-dead gorgeous and has five heads, heads with lips, lips that can verbally rip you to shreds and make you question ever talking to a woman again.

Luckily, you don’t need any special assistance from the gods to approach a group of women.

I mean sure, I’ve helped hundreds of men such as yourself address their fears and find the woman of their dreams but no, I’m not Cupid. I don’t carry a bow and arrow.

Instead, I’m equipped with 1) knowledge and 2) the insider information that you only get from being a woman.

That’s right; I have the cheat codes.

How To Approach Women With Their Friends

First things first.

I’m offering to teach you how to approach women.

That’s it.

I’d argue that if you’re thinking of approaching a woman and friends with the mindset of “I’m gonna flirt with her” or “I’m gonna take you home” you’ve already failed.

I say that for two reasons.

For one, you’ll psyche yourself out.

You’re putting too much pressure on yourself when you turn the situation into a win or lose scenario.

Instead, you’re simply approaching a group of women because you’re interested in them.

Hell, how do you even know you’re that interested in them until you start talking to them?

This is the first rule.

Enter every interaction with zero expectations.

No expectations means that you’ll never lose.

Never losing means that you’ll be more inclined to approach women and turn that hydra into a group of well-meaning nymphs.

The All Or Nothing Approach

You can be tempted to treat the situation like a hunter. 

Waiting until that perfect moment when the Doe walks away from her crew so you can have some alone time with her.

Don’t do this.

It’s creepy, increases pressure, and most importantly won’t work.

She’s here with her friends.

For her to ditch her friends in favor of spending alone time with some guy she met on her way to the bathroom you’d have to pull some pretty quality game out of your ass (more on quality game pulled out of ass later).

Instead, approach the group as a whole.

When the girls are out on the town or even in the coffee shop they’re a unit. In order to get one to like you, they all will have to like you.

Not to mention that talking to every girl in the group will 1) get rid of a possible cock-block situation 2) disguises your true intent making you look novel and interesting and 3) plant possible seeds that you can harvest later.

Approaching the group and becoming the life of the party will increase your perceived value.

How many other guys in the bar have the kind of balls you’re walking around with?

Give The Less Attractive Girls More Attention (aka Governing Dynamics: Ignore the Blonde)

Giving attention to the less attractive friend will boost her opinion of you (so you win her approval) while simultaneously making the attractive one jealous and wanting to compete for your attention and validation because she’s used to receiving it and she’s investing time in looking good specifically so she gets your attention.

By not giving it to her, you reverse her expectation, confuse her, make her curious about you, and make her feel as though you are more valuable than she is.

Do not give her any validation or approval.

Do not compliment her in any way.

But of course, as we see in “The Beautiful Mind” clip below while governing dynamics has its place at some point you have to go for gold (or in this case the blonde).

Don’t give the woman you’re really after any special attention until she strikes first OR until you’ve already invested enough time in winning over her friends.

This is a delicate strategy that must be balanced gently. Be too nice to the friends and they might get annoyed when you start talking to the girl you’re really interested in.

When in doubt make your move and have no regrets.

As a wise man once plagiarized, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

Challenge Her To A Game To Get Her By Herself

It’s not just that games inherently provide the perfect dynamic to flirt in (although very true) rather you just need some alone time. 

Most likely you’re picking her up in a bar.

If that’s the case challenge her to any bar game nearby:

— Billards

— Skee ball

— Darts

— Arcade games

The goal here isn’t to kick her ass at billiards thus sending your self-esteem to the roof.

Instead, it’s about getting some alone time to build up attraction.

It’s here that you’re free to turn on the charm.

If there are no games available you can ask her to accompany you to the bar, outside to quickly look at something cool, or offer to tell her a secret in a more private place.

Try The Hitch Method

Hitch is the most successful fictitious dating coach that Hollywood ever created.

He’s genuine (for the most part), has morals, and is extremely good at his job as we’ll see in this clip.

Now, am I advising doing exactly what he did?

YES!

In a sense at least.

Pretending a patron is an employee and throwing her some cash will more likely than not result in the loss of 20 dollars than in getting her phone number.

What I am advocating for is an unconventional way to get your foot in the door, one that in no way involves flirting.

Some other unconventional ways include:

— Asking her to verify something you heard today

— Taking a poll and asking her a question about womanly things

— Ask her if you should add a certain photo to your dating profile (“Would you swipe right on this photo?”)

— Asking her the name of the song that’s playing because for some reason you think humans are more reliable than Shazam

— Asking her what she thinks of your new pup (then showing her your dog’s Instagram).

— Tell her you saw her at the “super awesome place doing the super awesome thing” and think that she’s awesome because of it (FYI you didn’t see her there, this is just an in)

— Confess that you bet your buddies you could get her number (as seen here)

You Look Familiar/Do We Know Each Other?

The hardest part is just saying hello.

Most guys fail because they don’t try.

They think, “look at all these other guys at the bar/cafe/club/party. They have a much better shot than me.”

The thing is, most guys won’t even try.

You’re not competing with those other guys, but rather yourself.

The only 100% certain way that you lose is by not opening your mouth.

So while “You look familiar, do we know each other?” is a cliche line, it’s easy to use, remember, and has the appearance of authenticity.

Throw A Football, Frisbee, Or Other Ball Into Her Group’s Area

Not all ways to make the first contact have to be smooth.

Some are a bit cruder, and that’s perfectly fine.

Again, your goal is simply to make contact. This is always the hardest part.

Sometimes the easiest way to touchdown is well, with a touchdown.

Use Man’s Best Wingman

Dogs are allowed everywhere nowadays.

Cafes, bars, restaurants, parks, parties, hotels — literally everywhere.

Objectively speaking all dogs are both cute and will inevitably receive attention when they strut their stuff past the single ladies.

This is evidence by Match.com that found that of the 1,200 people surveyed, 1/3rd said they “had been more attracted to someone because they had a pet.”

It’s this information that has also led thousands of dating app users to post photos of themselves with dogs that aren’t their own.

The ruse is so commonplace it even has a name, dogfishing.

If you feel your pooch isn’t already enough of a babe magnet you can increase their attention-grabbing powers by dressing them up or showing off their skills in a public place.

Author, anthropologist, and Match.com advisor Helen Fisher says that:

It’s kind of difficult to describe what being a creep looks like in the context of approaching women.

You just kind of know it when you see it.

Here’s what I mean.

If you didn’t cringe, your creep radar might be a little off.

Luckily, I’m here to fix that for you.

As you can imagine when I embarked on my 100-date experiment, I interacted with my fair share of creepy men. Ever since then I’ve been teaching men not only what NOT to do, but more importantly what you need to do in order to quickly build attraction.

In this article, I’ll impart to you what I’ve learned not only from my 100-date experiment but from the hundreds of clients I’ve helped coach through the years.

How To Approach Women Like You Know What You’re Doing

To be clear, this article will teach you how to approach women in the real world.

I know that we’ve all been in romantic hibernation for the past couple of years but it’s finally time to put the phone down and start conversing in person again like we did before the pandemic made us regress into socially awkward teenagers.

It’s time to pop those pimples and get back out there.

Here’s how to do so without appearing like a creep.

Situational Openers

All men have been there before.

You see a woman from across the room, tell your friends, they hype you up and give you all kinds of tips you know won’t work.

Your hands sweat, you have no idea what you’re going to say, and you’re now doubting whether or not you should even approach her.

Basically, you’re Jon Favreau.

It doesn’t need to be so gut-wrenching.

Simply talk to her as you would any other human.

Beautiful women or not, the easiest way to spark a conversation is to use a situational opener to start the conversation.

This is the absolute best way to start a conversation with a woman. 

If you were hoping for something more complex and novel, I’m sorry but that just won’t work. The more complex your opener the less likely it is that you’ll use it.

So what exactly do I mean by a situational opener?

Comment or anything related to the current context.

Here are a few contexts and examples of quality openers:

Bar

“I love this song, do you know who this is?”

“Wow that drink looks amazing, can I ask what you ordered?”

Dogpark

“I love your dog, what breed is she/her?”

“I see your dog *also does the same weird thing* my dog does”

Gym

“Hey, do you mind spotting me/showing me how to use this machine/showing me that exercise you just did?”

*As she finishes a class*“Hey how was the *salsa class* I’m thinking about joining?”

At A Party

“I think you’re going to have to show me that dance move”

“Hey, how do you know the *person throwing the party?”

Are these opening lines groundbreaking? No – and that’s kind of the point.

You don’t need some kickass line that she’s never heard before (trust me she’s heard a lot of them).

What most important is that you said something.

What’s second most important is that whatever you said wasn’t creepy.

Addressing the situation at hand and using context to inform what you say makes you come off as natural and genuine.

Above all, women want men that are natural and genuine.

Be Direct

Have you ever wished that you could just go straight up to a woman and tell her what you want?

Women want the same thing too — sometimes.

You don’t have to beat around the bush to get what you want.

Women love men that are straightforward. Telling a woman you’re interested in them from the jump shows her that your confidence and that you don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

So what does being direct look like?

Here are a few examples:

• “I couldn’t leave here without knowing your name”
• “Hi I’m Dave, what’s your name? I’d kick myself if I didn’t come over here and say hi”

We women know what men want.

We know that when you come up to us in a bar and ask us about the weather that you could give a damn if there’s a category 4 hurricane on its way tomorrow.

Being direct saves time, is sexy, and gets to the damn point.

However, if you’re swinging for the fences on the first pitch you have to be prepared to whiff.

Not if, but when women you approach this way object to either going out with you or having a conversation, be prepared to overcome their objections.

The best way to do so is to acknowledge that your method of conversing is a bit unorthodox. Recognize out loud that you don’t normally go up to women like this but that you were drawn to her.

If she continues to shoot you down it’s best to let her be.

How to Approach Women Respectfully w/ Hunt Etheridge

Hunt Etheridge is a dating coach who specializes in helping his students excel in the field.

Hunt has hit the town with hundreds of men as he teaches them the art of approaching women.

When we recently sat down and chatted with Hunt, he had a few pieces of advice and stories to share about his experience helping men approach women.

Over his years as a dating coach, Hunt has approached thousands of women.

Here are his biggest takeaways…

1) You’re Not Going Out To Hit On Women You’re Going Out To Have Fun

This approach does two things for you.

For one, it changes your mindset. It ditches the win-or-lose mentality most men have when hitting on women. Instead of the night being about getting a bunch of phone numbers, it’s about having a good time with friends.

2) Go To Super Social Events

If you want to meet women, don’t go to a bar on a Monday night.

Hunt recommends hitting white parties, rooftop bars, and pitch conferences – wait what?

That’s right, even non-romantic events can be gold mines. When asked about the pitch conference, Hunt said sure, “every single person there is someone to approach.” 

Networking events like the aforementioned are great places to meet people because everyone there has the explicit mission of meeting other humans. So in other words, go to events where people are super receptive to meeting new people.

It doesn’t matter if they’re not sexy places, so long as you make a connection you win.

3) Just Say Hello

Well, to be fair it’s a bit more involved than that.

When approaching single ladies (but really all humans) Hunt says to “walk up to someone and introduce yourself” though he also elaborated to say, “don’t be a dick, be a good human, and make somebody smile.” 

It’s really that easy.

But this isn’t the hard part.

The hard part is the approach. It’s the butterflies that are flying around kamikaze style in your stomach. This fear of the approach will go away in time, but if you’re struggling just remember that according to Hunt, nothing matters.

By that he means his students are super concerned about their attire, astrology signs, what their drink says about you, etc. But none of that matters. What matters is who you are. What matters is your intention, what matters is being respectful, and bringing positive energy to the conversation.

To prove his point he told a story about a student he took to a bar who felt he needed the perfect line to approach women. Hunt was tired of this guy dragging his feet so he said hey, give me an opening line, literally any line and I’ll use it to start a conversation. 

His line?

Those oranges smell good. 

Not the best opening line, but Hunt made do.

He approached a trio of women at the bar and said, those oranges smell good.

The response?

What?

He pivoted and said, yeah that’s what I’d name my boat if I won the lottery, what about you guys?

He went into the conversation simply trying to make a connection. Hunt didn’t want to score a number, take her home or steal a kiss. He just wanted to start a conversation.

And when that’s your only goal, approaching women becomes super easy.

Reframe Your Approach

This hack is almost cheating.

The reason you’re getting sweaty palms before approaching a woman is because of your expectations.

Ya see, you’re framing the interaction as a win-or-lose situation when it’s not.

To you, it’s all or nothing — her number or rejection. 

It doesn’t need to be this way.

Release some of the pressure but altering your perspective.

Instead of saying that you’re approaching a woman with the intent to flirt, simply tell yourself that you’re going to have a conversation and nothing more.

You’d agree that less anxiety-inducing to have a conversation than to flirt wouldn’t you?

However, changing your perspective requires changing how you interact with her and what you say.

If you’re going to change your perspective you can’t be duplicitous. You either go in with the intention of having a conversation because you’re genuinely interested in her or not. There is no middle ground.

Once you approach a few women this way you’ll soon become an approach expert and will be able to turn up the heat.

Find A Commonality

The quickest way to build a connection is to acknowledge a commonality.

You can do this two ways.

1) Use the context to find a commonality

If you’re at a gym, party, sporting event, etc. it should be easy enough to acknowledge something you two share in common, thus quickly forming a bond.

2) Comment on something she’s wearing/has in her possession

Maybe she’s wearing a Lakers jersey and you too are a Lakers fan or maybe she’s reading a book you’re read in the past or want to read.

Whatever the similarity is, quickly acknowledging this will accelerate your bond.

Play on this similarity while building attraction. If done correctly it will culminate in you scoring her number.

Ask For Her Opinion/Ask A Question

According to the most legendary conversationalist of all time, Dale Carnegie, the best way to get someone to like you is to show genuine interest in what they have to say.