Giving up on Dating? 10 Reasons Not To + 9 Powerful Alternatives
If you’ve been thinking of giving up on dating, you’re not alone. When your experience in the romantic world elicits stress rather than excitement, it gets exhausting. Why continually put yourself out there when all of your efforts prove to be a dead-end?
I get it. Years ago, I found myself single for the first time in quite a while. After going from a monogamous relationship to a monogamous relationship, I had reached an impasse in my romantic life.
Alone after putting so much effort into previous relationships, I wondered if I’d ever find love. In fact, I wondered if love even existed.
That’s when I embarked on my 100-date experiment. Using myself as the guinea pig, I went on 101 dates in a year. I learned about all the intricacies of the dating world, including what strategies work and which strategies are the reason you’re continually relegated to the friendzone.
By the end of my experiment, I had an arsenal of dating knowledge, a newfound confidence, and I even met a long-term, compatible partner.
Most importantly, I learned that if you’re thinking of giving up on dating and relationships — don’t!
The dating world truly can be fun instead of frustrating. And more importantly, love truly exists for everyone — and you don’t have to be rich or ridiculously good-looking to find it.
Still not convinced? Check out 10 reasons that you shouldn’t give up on dating.
10 Reasons To Not Give Up on Dating
#1: You’re Meeting Women in the Wrong Places
If you’re thinking of giving up on dating because you’re tired of the bar scene, guess what? It’s time to look someplace other than a bar.
Although bars can be a great way to get out and meet new people, you shouldn’t rely on the bar scene as your exclusive means of nabbing a date. Moreover, you shouldn’t rely on any single method when it comes to dating. To be successful in the dating world, variety is key.
If you’re only using dating sites and apps as your means of meeting women, this can lead to dating burnout. I personally think that online dating is a great way to find romantic success, but you definitely need to be looking beyond your smartphone and computer screen if you want to find love.
There are so many different ways to meet women, including:
- An improv comedy class: You can improve your social skills, increase self-esteem and have fun doing it!
- Meetup.com: This is a great place to find social groups comprised of people who share your interested. Building trust and rapport through shared interests is one of the first steps in building a relationship, so this is a great way to meet people you’re more likely to be compatible with.
- Events: Go out with friends to different outings. You can also find cool events near you via a simple Google search or on sites like Eventbrite.
- Friends: Ask your friends (rather, trusted friends who have good taste) to set you up with someone.
- Join a co-ed sports team
- Follow these strategies to make a love connection at the grocery store
#2: Giving Up On Dating Means Giving Up On Fun
It’s a shame that so many people miss out on having fun when going out on dates. But the thing is, dating truly can be fun.
When you stop putting so much pressure on dating and look at it as an opportunity for new experiences, it stops being stressful and starts being fun. Look at each date as an adventure.
#3: Dating Teaches You About Yourself
Dating forces us to be vulnerable. Although this is scary, actively putting yourself out there by going on dates forces you to grow. These experiences also allow you to learn about yourself. And the more you know about yourself, the more confident and authentic you will be in the dating world.
#4: Going On Dates Helps You Understand What You Really Want
There is no such thing as failure when it comes to dating and relationships. One thing I have learned is that, even when a date is bad or a long-term relationship goes awry, the dissolution of these relationships is not synonymous with failure. In fact, so-called “failed” relationships are actually necessary when it comes to finding the perfect partner.
When something doesn’t work out romantically, the things that went wrong in that relationship provide us with information about what we want and don’t want in a relationship. As you date more and more, you also learn to be wary of red flags.
Basically, if you want to find success in any area of life, it’s important that you accumulate a lot of experience.
#5: Dating Doesn’t Have to Be Expensive
If you’re thinking of giving up on dating because you feel like it’s putting a major dent in your bank account, it’s time to change your strategy.
You can actually go on tons of dates with different women each week without spending much at all! I discovered this during my 100-date experiment and developed a failproof dating blueprint for the first three dates.
Because you want to keep thing light during the first couple of dates, there’s no need to wine and dine. In fact, you shouldn’t go all out with a fancy intimate dinner until the third date.
Follow this blueprint to sweep tons of women off their feet while also keeping things frugal:
- First date: This date should be no longer than an hour and cost no more than $10. The purpose of the first date is to establish trust and rapport through shared interests.
- Second date: The second date should be something active and free. The purpose of the second date is to escalate sexual tension.
- Third date: This is the date where you can loosen the purse strings with a romantic dinner. The purpose of the second date is to figure out whether you and your date have long-term potential based on morals and values. Intimacy often occurs for the first time during this date.
#6: Facing Your Fears Builds Character
No matter who you are, dating can be scary. But facing your fears builds character. A lot of people hold themselves back over a fear of rejection or things going wrong in a relationship.
But remember, all of these experiences help you grow and build confidence, which will ultimately lead you to lasting love.
#7: You’re Cheating Yourself Out of Something Great
If you’re thinking of giving up on dating forever, you’re cheating yourself out of something great. Trust me when I say that love truly does exist for everyone. There are tons of amazing singles out there that are perfect for you.
The thing is, if you give up on dating, you’re never going to meet them.
#8: It’s Ok if it Doesn’t Work Out
A lot of people get hung up on the idea of “the one” or a “soulmate.” You’re worried that you won’t find the right person for you, which makes the very prospect of dating a panic-inducing experience.
Or maybe you dated someone you were sure was your soulmate, only to have your heart broken. Now you’re afraid of putting yourself out there and getting your heart broken again.
However, when you put this type of pressure on romance, failure becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
View dating with a mindset of abundance.
An abundance mentality involves seeing the dating world as having endless possibilities. Rather than chase after “the one,” people who date with an abundance mindset are the people getting chased.
At the end of this article, I’ll let you in on my top strategy that forces you to develop an abundance mindset and find success!
#9: Practice Makes Perfect
Sure, you could give up on dating now and there’s a possibility a perfect person will show up be happenstance. We’ve all heard the stories of “love at first sight” and those couples who ran into each other in the parking lot and have been together ever since.
But the thing is, even if that happens, you want to be prepared for it. When you find a long-term, compatible partner, you want to enter that relationship as you best and most authentic self.
You want to have some lessons under your belt and be sure of what you truly want. Thus, you need to date a lot rather than give up on dating and waiting for the right person to show up.
#10: It Worked for Me and It Can Work for You, Too
As I said before, I was basically ready to give up on dating before I decided to embark on my 100-date experiment. And I’m so glad that I decided to do that experiment because giving up on dating would have prevented me from so many experiences, from so much personal growth, and from a satisfying relationship.
One thing that truly helped me crush my goals in the dating world was my use of MegaDating.
What is MegaDating?
MegaDating is a dating strategy that involves dating multiple people at the same time. This process diffuses energy by keeping your social calendar full.
If you’re thinking about giving up on dating, try MegaDating to enjoy a different type of dating life. When you MegaDate, you see firsthand that there truly are plenty of fish in the sea.
This prevents you from chasing after women who ultimately put you in the friendzone, getting hung up on the idea of “the one,” or settling for the mediocre.
Because you will be hanging out with at least a few different people at the same time, the pain of things like a bad date or rejection won’t be such a big deal. When you expose yourself to different people rather than chasing after one, suddenly women will start chasing you.
When women see that you are keeping your options open before deciding to become exclusive, you automatically become more desirable. This is because MegaDating stimulates an unconscious sense of competition.
Alternatives For Those Giving Up On Dating
Sick and tired of putting in tons of effort on dating apps only to get crickets back? You’re not alone. Here are some ways to deal with the frustration you’re feeling.
Take a Break From the Apps
Rather than hitting your head against a brick wall, why not take a little break from the apps.
Pause and delete them so you can return to them when and if you decide you’re ready.
Remember that simply deleting a dating app doesn’t mean your info will be deleted or that users can no longer see your profile. To stop women from seeing your profile you’ll have to go into the app itself and make the necessary adjustments. All dating apps have such a feature.
Learn Something New
Join a class that meets each week.
You don’t have to rely on apps alone to get in front of high-quality women.
Joining a class that meets regularly is an excellent way to put yourself out there and meet women IRL that you’d like to get to know romantically.
Think about what you’ve always wanted to do but have always put off.
For me, it’s kiteboarding. I love watching the kite surfers whether the waves of the ocean but I’ve never pulled the trigger on taking classes.
If I was single and looking for a partner who shared the same interests as me, I’d sign up stat.
Make a list of activities that intrigue you that you’d like to try and sign up for a class this week. If you find that the class you try isn’t for you, try something different the following week.
And hey, even if you don’t meet someone in class you’ll still be stimulating yourself, learning a new skill, and gaining confidence.
Fill Up Your Social Calendar with Friends & Social Activities
The whole reason we search for a romantic connection is in part to form a strong bond with another human.
Turns out we don’t need a romantic connection to develop such a dynamic.
Just because you’re single and sick of dating, doesn’t mean you have to sit alone on your couch all week and weekend.
Take the opportunity to get super social and make plans with friends.
Suggest going to new places that excite you, rather than the same old spots.
You can use your social network to fill up your social calendar. And hey, chances are, your friends have friends that would be a good fit for you.
Don’t be afraid to tell them you’re frustrated with the dating scene and ready to settle down.
Ask if they know anyone they think you’d hit it off with and plan a weekend rendezvous altogether. Your friends want you to be happy too. Let them help you.
What If You Don’t Have Any Friends to Hang With?
Think about the type of friends you’d like to have in your life.
For me, I love people who can make me laugh so a few years ago I signed up for a standup comedy class.
It helped me put myself out there socially and meet new people who fit the mold for what I was looking for.
Just like you would strategically select locations your ideal girlfriend would be located, you can do the same to find your tribe of friends.
What are you hoping to share in common with friends?
Where do you think you’d meet these soon-to-be friends?
Go To Gym Classes
Worst case scenario you talk to no one and get a good workout in.
The more regularly you attend workout classes, the more regulars you’ll meet and the easier it will be to break out of your shell and talk.
Plus, you’ll be surrounded by babes.
Not a bad place to spend a few nights a week.
Leverage Business Networking to Kill Two Birds with One Stone
Maybe you’re also unsatisfied with your career and are looking for a new role.
Maybe it would be helpful for you to develop more professional skills.
Perhaps you have business events that would help propel your career.
Try attending more social events related to your work that will also help you get in front of more new people.
In this way, you might be able to form new connections either for business, pleasure, or both.
Facebook and IG Friends-Of-Friends
Facebook and IG are great places for meeting people that share your interests.
No doubt you see friends of friends online that hike, paint, ski, or love the same activity you do.
Slide into their DMs (platonically of course) and strike up a friendship.
Ask them where the best karaoke spots are or where you should hike to get away from the weekend warriors.
Exchange a few messages then ask them to join you on your next adventure.
Ask For Help
If you’re giving up on dating and then the world is ending, it’s best to ask for help before the impending apocalypse actually comes.
Talk to friends, family, and even a therapist.
Hire A Coach
emlovz uses a four-pronged approach to turning around your dating life.
- Online curriculum
- 2 Weekly Strategy Sessions
- Mock Dates
- Online community
Our comprehensive group and private programs are designed to tackle every modern dating topic.
From how to meet women online and IRL to the first, second, and third date blueprint you must follow in order to MegaDate.
We provide the insight and support you need to finally achieve your romantic goals and get the girl you’ve been dreaming of.
Stop Giving Up On Dating and Start Crushing Your Goals
Are you ready to go on dates that are fun and exciting?
Do you want to attract tons of gorgeous, high-value women? Are you ready to embark on a dating journey that will lead you to the woman of your dreams?
If so, head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Zoom session with me today.
During this introductory coaching session, we’ll talk about your romantic goals and figure out if our dating program, Dating Decoded is the right fit for you.
As a dating coach, I’ve helped men all over the world find confidence and lasting love. I look forward to doing the same for you.