What are the biggest mistakes men make when texting women?
Texting has basically taken over most — if not all — interactions when it comes to communicating via cell phone. Using this form of communication is great in many ways when you first start dating someone. Gone are the days where you would have to worry about the lady of your desire hearing you stutter out of nervousness, ramble on out of anxiety or have a one-sided conversation when you get her voicemail.
Being able to text someone in between dates allows you to take on the role of writer, editor and proofreader. Nothing needs to be improvised — you can delete, change and/or brood over the response until it’s some version of perfection.
Still, as foolproof as texting can seem to be, there are several faux pas people run into using this system. Some of these may seem obvious, while others are a bit more elusive. Lucky for guys like you, I’m here to break down the biggest mistakes men make when texting women so that YOU don’t have to.
Mistake #1: Sending a Picture of Your Blank, Vacant Stare
I’m sorry, but…
WHY DO SO MANY GUYS DO THIS?
Nothing says serial killer like a vacant stare, ESPECIALLY when said stare is delivered to someone’s phone with no explanation. Keep in mind that men are more visual creatures than women, so what you might find appealing may not translate to the female species.
Instead, send a picture of you doing something fun and if a selfie is involved make it one of you smiling — and fully clothed. Check out my article regarding Online Dating Photo Tips for Men for more photo sharing ideas.
SPEAKING of fully clothed…
Mistake #2: Showing Off Your Hot Bod
Letting her get a glimpse of the goods might seem like a foolproof plan, but it’s actually one of the biggest mistakes men make when texting.
That’s an awesome six-pack you got there, man. I’m proud of you and I hope you’re proud of yourself!
That being said…when you randomly send a woman a picture of yourself after you got totally swole at the gym, it’s just…awkward.
You may come off as trying too hard to impress, which is honestly a turn-off. Only send a shirtless picture if she asks for one and/or if you’ve gotten far enough along in the relationship (I’m talking like, over a couple months of continuous dating) that you’re comfortable sending her a picture of your abs so that she can assess whether or not one of your moles is malignant.
Mistake #3: Texting Too Much
Her: Hey, how was your day?
You: It was pretty good! I had some meetings that were back-to-back, so I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to meet my deadlines but — THANK GOD — I ended up finishing everything up by 5:30. Then I went home and took a shower (I had taken one in the morning but it was just one of those days where I needed to sort of wash off the day, you know what I mean?) and am now just starting to get dinner ready. I’m making steak, so I’m going to pick up some red wine to go with it. I’m not sure which would be best, so if you have any suggestions that would be awesome. Anyway, I—
OH MY FRIGGIN’ GAWD!
No offense, but if I want to read a novel, I’ll pull out my Kindle.
Another of the mistakes men make in the early dating stages is texting WAY too much information at once.
Keep things concise, fun and flirty. Take a look at how the above conversation could have been cut down:
Her: Hey, how was your day?
You: Just got home a bit ago, and tonight is going to be steak night. Any suggestions on some good reds to pair with a New York strip, Ms. Wine Connoisseur?
Notice that I cut out ALL the stuff about your back-to-back meetings, the time you got home, that you’re taking a shower (AGAIN) and the like. All of that was extraneous information that your lady really doesn’t need to know about.
In the latter example, you cut right to the chase — you’re making steak tonight. Something like that shows that you like to cook, which is definitely a plus whether you’re a woman or a man. By asking for your lovely wino’s wine suggestions (in this scenario, I’m assuming that the two of you have already discussed a love and knowledge of wine), you are keeping the conversation going.
And depending on where you two are at in your relationship, this could also be a great way to invite her over for dinner.
Mistake #4: Texting too frequently
1:30pm: Hey, how’s it going?
1:35pm: Guess you’re busy at work?
1:45pm: Well, I’ll talk to you later. Excited to hear about your day.
3:00pm: Are you OK?
3:15pm: Still at work?
DO NOT BE THIS GUY!
If there’s one thing that is more annoying than texting too much it’s texting too frequently. Of all the mistakes men make when texting, this may be one of the worst.
This constant texting (without giving the lady a chance to even respond) will make you come off as clingy and desperate, which is going to make even the chattiest of cathies run for the hills.
In the throes of excitement that comes from early dating, it’s understandable that you’d be anxious to talk to a woman frequently. If you feel like you’re having trouble waiting to send a second text when your first was greeted by crickets, consider the pros that come with MegaDating.
MegaDating is the process (as well as the EmLovz mantra) of dating several women at once in order to expend energy, increase your confidence and ultimately find a long-term relationship. This method keeps you from becoming fixated on one person, which is often how things like clinginess, anxiety, and insecurity seep in to sabotage your dating efforts. It also helps you avoid several of the mistakes (like over-texting women) men make when dating only one person at a time.
During my 100 date experiment, I put MegaDating to the test. I learned a lot about myself, the dos and don’ts of the dating process, and I ended the experiment in a happy, long-term relationship.
MegadDating worked for me, and it can work for you too. Book a 50-minute Skype session with me today to get started.
Mistake #5: Texting Without an Intent to Secure a TDL
You had a great date and now it’s time to keep the momentum going. Obviously, you’re going to want to see a girl you’re interested in again and are probably anxious to ask her out for a second or third date.
Don’t let that excitement fall victim to poor planning. One thing that can be really irksome to women is when a guy texts for another date, but hasn’t secured a time, date, and location (what we here at Emlovz refer to as TDL) for the date.
Make sure you’ve done your research and have a plan ready for you two when you text. Read up on my other articles on How to Get a Second Date by making it incredibly compelling and How to Invite Her Back to Your Place on the third date.
Mistake #6: Using Small Talk/Surface Level Conversations
Finding yourself knee-deep in weather banter is fine when you’re in the break room at work. But when it comes to dating, surface-level conversations aren’t necessarily going to sweep a lady off her feet.
Relying on small talk during the early stages of desire can also kill mystery and desire.
Instead of keeping things at the surface, channel your inner (flirtatious) detective and ask questions that are atypical of standard dating conversation.
Conversely, don’t give too much information about yourself away from the get-go. Intrigue her by showing your mysteriousness, selectiveness, and confidence.
It’s easy to give too much away when you’re really interested in someone, but a little reverse psychology can go a long way. Click here to learn more.
#7 Biggest Mistakes Men Make When Texting Women: Texting Only to Say “Hi”
This is one of the biggest mistakes men make when texting women — and it also happens to be one of the most common.
When you are simply texting one word (and one word made up of two MEASLY letters, no less), it doesn’t seem like you’re very interested. It also can make you appear boring or unimaginative.
When you text a woman, your goal should be to stoke her interest, learn more about her (and vice versa) and ultimately build a connection. By offering the most perfunctory of greetings, you are putting the responsibility on her to keep the conversation going.
Texting a simple “hi” also gives her zero clue about your intentions. Moreover, you’re giving her the perfect opportunity to ghost you. She hasn’t been given so much as a question to respond to (i.e., “How is your day going?” “Did you have a good time at that bachelorette party on Saturday?” etc.), so she may even be unsure of how to respond to you.
In summary, to avoid the biggest mistakes men make when texting women:
- Avoid sending pictures without any context
- Don’t text too much or too frequently
- Keep it light, fun and add just a dash of mystery for intrigue