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What to Text a Girl You Just Met In Real Life

What to Text a Girl You Just Met In Real Life

Did you just meet an incredible woman out in the real world? What a feat, especially during Covid-19.

Did you also manage to nab her number? Congratulations! This is an exciting day. But the next step to take may not feel so exhilarating. When you strike up a conversation with an attractive woman, you inevitably end up with the dilemma of wondering what to text a girl you just met. And more importantly, how to get a date with a girl you just met.

Don’t worry — I’ve got you covered.



During my 100-date experiment, I spent an entire year analyzing and critiquing every facet of the dating world. As a female, I also learned what I found most appealing when it came to how men tackled certain dating circumstances, including what to text a girl you just met in real life in order to turn that initial spark into something long-lasting.

In this article, I am going to share some expert tips on what to text a girl you just met and — more importantly — how to get a date with a girl you just met.

What To Text a Woman You Just Met in Real Life

Tip #1: Take a Step Back and Assess

You might be super excited to text her and get as flirty as possible. But before you start texting her winky faces and hearts, take a step back. How much did you learn about this girl during your initial meeting? Did you figure out if she was single? Are you unsure of whether or not she’s single?

If you know for sure that she is single, proceed to the next tip. If you didn’t figure that out, proceed to the third tip.

Tip #2: Set Up a Compelling Date

what to text a girl you just met

Let’s say that you figured out she was single when you first met her and built up a good rapport. Awesome. When this is the case, it’s time to get an actual date set up so you can see if your initial connection translates into a long-term one.

If you learned she was single during the time you met her, and you built up some good rapport, text or call her to set up a date. Don’t beat around the bush by sending a bunch of text messages. Get something on the schedule.

Women love confidence and one way to exude confidence is by taking initiative. Send her a direct message with a compelling date that includes a TDL.

What is a TDL?

A TDL is an acronym that we here at EmLovz use to describe a date’s call-to-action. TDL stands for Time, Date, and Location. So basically, when you ask a girl out using a TDL, you offer the specific time of day that the date will occur, the day of the week, and the specific location.

Sounds simple, right? The thing is, so many guys ask girls out without using a TDL. These are the guys that will send a girl a message to see if she “wants to grab a drink,” “get a cup of coffee,” or “hang out sometime.” With no specific plan in mind, both people are left scrambling to figure out each other’s schedule and confirm when and where the date in question is happening.

Often times, this devolves into something known as serendipidating. Serendipidating is a dating trend that occurs when two people try to get together with no actual plan in mind. The result is a frustrating back-and-forth that eventually leads to both parties not responding. Basically, no date actually occurs.



When you send a girl a date idea with a TDL, she will find it really refreshing that you actually took the time to come up with a specific date, so that she doesn’t have to. This already puts you ahead of the competition.

Another part of sending a TDL involves crafting a compelling date idea. A compelling date idea is one that appeals to the woman’s interest and also introduces her to a new experience. For example, if you discovered during your initial meeting that the girl really likes being active and artsy, you could suggest something like a swing dancing class followed by a bite to eat at a cool cafe close by.

When it comes to picking a day for the date, Saturdays are the best days, followed closely by Wednesdays and Thursdays. Sundays and Mondays are the worst days since people are still in work mode. If you meet her on a Saturday, you can even suggest doing the date that same day.

Tip #3: Find Out for Sure if She’s Single

what to text a girl you just met

If you didn’t build up enough rapport with her and didn’t figure out if she was single or not, you’ll need to send a few text messages to probe her interest and availability. One exception to this is if you met through mutual friends. In that case, you can ask your friend if she is available and proceed from there.

But if you don’t know, there are a few different ways to go about this:

  • Ask her to describe her perfect Saturday night.
  • Ask her about her plans for the week.
  • Ash her directly if she has a boyfriend. If she says “no,” you can say something like, “Great! So I guess that means I can ask you on an official date then.

Whether you find out through some gentle probing or get a direct “yes” or “no” when asking about a boyfriend, just make sure that you know one way or another before asking her out. And if she says something like, “it’s complicated,” move on. You don’t want to get involved in any drama.

Tip #4: Avoid “H” Words

When it comes to figuring out what to text a girl you just met in real life, avoid saying the following to broach a conversation with her via text:

  • “Hi”
  • “How are you?”
  • “Hey”
  • “How’s it going?”
  • “How’s your day?”
  • “Haaayyyy…”

Quite frankly, these openers are generic and boring ways to start a conversation. Saying “hey” or “how was your day” encourages little more than a “yes” or “no” answer. You want to ask open-ended questions in order to ignite interest and keep the conversation going.

For example, let’s say that you are both animal lovers and you both met at a yappy hour. Yappy hours are happy hours where you can bring your pooch or choose to hang out with some adorable (and adoptable) pups. (If you haven’t gone to one of these yet, consider adding it to your dating plan arsenal.)

If you met her there, you could send her a text like:



“So be honest: which dog was your favorite? I know which one I liked the best, but you go first.”

When you ask an open-ended question, it allows for deeper conversation and also shows that you were paying attention when you guys chatted during your first meeting.

Tip #5: Don’t Wait Too Long to Text Her

what to text a girl you just met

Forget those archaic rules about waiting a week to text a woman you just met. You never want to wait very long to text her. In today’s world, women will forget about you overnight. With online dating becoming a mainstream commodity, women have more options than ever before — and men have more competition than ever before.

This means that you need to strike while the iron is hot. Wait no more than 24 hours to text her. Women want that text and, like I said, they are more likely to be interested in a man who takes initiative than a man who plays games with the whole “three-day” or “one-week” rule.

And if you’re more of a phone person, ditch the text and dial her digits.

Tip #6: Don’t Bombard Her with Texts

Now that you know that you need to communicate with her quickly, it’s important that I mention one caveat. Don’t bombard her with texts.

Get the date set up as quickly as possible and then allow for some space. You want to be ready to get to know each other better by asking her good first date questions. If you end up having a lengthy conversation over text, you might spoil the opportunity to really engage with her and learn more about her during the actual date.

Women might also be put off if a guy they already have a date within a couple of days starts blowing up their phone all hours of the day. Not only do you risk coming off as clingy, you automatically give the woman the upper hand. Your constant texting can come off as you chasing her, which can leave her feeling like she doesn’t have to put any effort into getting to know you.

After you have confirmed a date, text her once before the date to let her know you are looking forward to seeing her. This way, you will have plenty of conversation ready to go and have given her space to get excited about seeing you again.

What if You Still Need Guidance? 

If you want individualized help in the dating world so that you can meet the woman of your dreams, head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Zoom session with me or one of my colleagues today.



During our session, we will diagnose your dating history, create an action plan to help you overcome your dating roadblocks, and see if our coaching/matchmaking programs could be a fit for you. 

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