As a dating strategist with plenty of dating experience under my belt, I know a lot about how guys work–and what works on us women when it comes to romance. I also know a lot about how to turn a woman on while on a date, a topic that’s pretty important when it comes to dating. 

In 2011, I went on one hundred dates–a social experiment I created to learn more about the dating process and how to approach it in a more scientific manner through megadating. During this time “in the field”, I researched my dates, analyzed moves and plays and took careful notes on what happened and how it affected me. Through my data, I was able to reach some important conclusions about men and women, and how we connect with each other. I also learned more about something that I’m sure you’re probably very interested in hearing more about, and that’s how to turn a woman on while on a date. Am I right?

Of course I’m right! In fact, it usually comes up at some point in my one-on-one coaching programs with my clients, and I’ve decided to come clean and let you all in on a few tips and tricks of mine that will help you turn a girl on while on your next date. 

How to Turn a Woman on While on a Date: Stop Talking…

Want to know how to turn a woman on while on a date? That’s easy! Don’t do all the speaking. And don’t try and prove yourself. 

It’s important to clarify what I mean by this. Remember this: women want you to talk, and to talk a lot! When you’re quiet, we assume that something might be wrong with us, so please–feel free to express yourself.

What I mean “don’t speak” is pretty simple. Don’t talk about turning her on, or to try to turn her on using come-ons. For example, resist the urge to talk about how sexy you are, how good you feel, or about your track record in bed. Don’t throw her any lines, not even as a joke.

And please guys, don’t talk about what you dream of doing with her in bed, or anything related to that at all–it’s way too early, and trust me–we already know. We’re hoping you’re evolved enough to be capable of focusing on getting to know us on a first date, not seeing how far you can get.

…And Start Touching!

So instead of talking about turning her on, turn her on through touch. Not aggressively, and definitely not inappropriately, but do touch her, firmly and confidently.

In fact, you should touch her no less than three times throughout the duration of your date together.

While you’re following the hostess to your table at the restaurant, firmly press your hand along the small of her back. While you’re waiting in line at the ticket counter to see the movie, put your arm around her and massage her upper arm with your hand. Firmly, not softly. These kinds of things drive us wild.

Touch her with authority, in the most respectable way that you can. Not only will this put your far out of the friendzone, but it will turn her on, too. And what could be better than that?

Formulate The Plan To Make Your Move

This goes along with the touching advice (see above). Don’t sit around and wait passively for the date to be over before making your move. Plan to do it before your date is over.

If you wait until the end of the date to kiss her, chances are she’ll be expecting it. Why? Because it’s tradition. And tradition states that a guy should make a move at the end of the date.

Well guess what? Tradition is outdated and boring. If you wait until the end of the date to kiss her, it will feel much more like a formality to her. It might also make her more likely to reject your kiss, because tradition also states that women should play hard to get and avoid being labeled as “easy”.

If she’s into you, and you’re into her, lean forward and kiss her during the date. It’ll catch her off guard and make her heart flutter. She’ll love feeling like you find her that irresistible, that you can’t possibly stand another moment without feeling her lips on yours.

Nothing is more romantic than spontaneity. Try it and see how she lights up with excitement after getting an unexpected kiss from you.

Look into her Eyes…

Nothing turns us on more than a guy with a lot of confidence. Even if you’re feeling anything but confident, there are certainly ways to fake it. Good posture, firm touch, and great eye contact is one of them.

While all of those things matter, perhaps the most important of them all is good eye contact. Look her straight in the eye when you talk to her, and again when you listen. Don’t let your eyes wander, or stare at the floor or the ceiling. This will give you the impression of being shady, lacking confidence, or that we can’t trust you.

Sometimes it can feel awkward, especially if you’re suffering from first date anxiety. Try to suck it up and make good eye contact, because it really does matter to us. It’s also one of the easiest tips on how to turn a woman on while on a date, so give it a try!

Make Her Comfortable

The real secret on how to turn a woman on while on a date with her is simple. Make her feel comfortable. Once she feels comfortable, she’s going to let her guard down–and feel more relaxed, happy, and willing to be seduced!

If she’s got her guard up and feels reserved, it’s going to be a lot harder to break the ice–much less turn her on. So it helps to use some tricks to get her feeling the romance in the air.

When planning your date with her, ask her for her favorite spots in the city you live in. Consider staying in her own neighborhood for drinks, or going to the shopping mall she frequents for dinner. Perhaps her go-to bar, club, her favorite movie theater or concert hall. If she’s really into going to the stadium to watch her favorite team play, take her there.

The key is to take her somewhere familiar so she feels comfortable being there. It can be nerve-wracking to go somewhere new and unfamiliar with someone you’re just getting to know. If she feels comfort in her surroundings, she’s going to be able to put more energy into your date, and into getting to know you better.

The One Compliment Rule

The one-compliment rule is something I came up with after going on plenty of dates during my 100-date experiment. I soon became aware that guys either gave me way too many compliments (usually about my appearance), or none at all.

Giving too many compliments is a bad thing, because it lowers your value in her eyes. It also has the effect of making you look needy or desperate. Beautiful women are complimented a lot. Unfortunately, women often have a negative instinctual reaction to these comments. If they’re coming from you, they could make her groan a little on the inside and lose interest or feel skeptical about you. Especially if they’re about her looks. We’ve heard it all before, guys.

Not complimenting her at all is also a bad thing, because it makes you look like you’re not paying attention. We want to feel like you notice us, and not just the way we look. Work on giving her one compliment that has nothing to do with her appearance. Tell her that you love the way she talks, or that you can tell how organized she is by the way she keeps her purse.

Stick to one compliment, and make it a good one. If you want, you can click on the link to read my article on complimenting a girl you like. It should be something that makes her feel proud, and glad that you noticed. If she feels like you’re paying attention to her where it counts, she’ll be more likely to return the favor.

Never Ask to Kiss Her

Listen up, guys–here’s an important tip for you all. When it comes to learning how to turn a woman on while on a date, never ask to kiss her. Why? Because it’s cheesy, rips apart the chemistry you have building up to that moment, and makes you look weak.

Yeah, we know it’s probably the respectful thing to do. Especially with the political climate the way it is. I understand that you can never be too careful about crossing the line. But if you’re on a legitimate date with her, it’s expected of you to try and kiss her at some point. And the best way to do it is with confidence, not by asking her first.

Asking her for a kiss absolutely ruins the mood and will turn her off. That’s just how it is.

If this seems confusing to you, or you have trouble knowing what is acceptable first date behavior and what isn’t, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I want to work with you, and to teach you exactly how to turn a woman on while on a date and more, through one of my personalized, one-on-one coaching sessions or the Emlovz Academy for Men–a super-intensive, online dating course designed to improve your dating success in just 45 days, or any of my other dating services that I offer through my website. You deserve to find love, and together we can work to get you back in the game and headed towards a great relationship with the girl of your dreams.