Even though singles are flocking to Charlotte sometimes it can get lonely in the city.
As your Charlotte dating coach, I have some Charlotte-specific advice to help you find a partner.
Charlotte is often overlooked as a major dating hub. Having played second fiddle to Atlanta for decades, Charlotte is finally coming into its own.
Home to nearly 900,000 residents, Charlotte is the sixth fastest-growing metro area in the States. It’s this rapid growth that has singles becoming more and more optimistic about their dating prospects.
But a rapid rise in singles doesn’t guarantee romantic success.
In this article, you’ll hear from me, emlovz, a Charlotte dating coach, on what the dating scene is like in the area, where to meet singles, and how to quickly find your partner.
Charlotte Dating Coach – Dating in the Queen City
Charlotte By The Numbers
You may be reading this because you’ve just moved to Charlotte. If that’s the case you’re certainly not the only one.
60 people a day are reported to move to Charlotte. As we’ve already touched on, Charlotte is one of the fastest-growing cities in the USA, having grown at a clip of 1.57% from 2017-2018.
The population of the city stands around at 920k. Of its 920,000 residents, 43.1% are white, 35.21% are black, 12% are Latino, and 7% are Asian. Of its many residents, 22% speak more than one language.
The city’s median age is 34, making it a relatively young city when compared to the country’s media age of 39.
However, the most important stat is this one. There are about 415,000 singles in Charlotte with 76% of males and 69% of females ages 20-34 never having married. 33% of those ages 35-44 have also never married.
Is Charlotte a Good Place to Be Single
Yes and no.
It depends on a number of factors, but when talking about the size of the dating pool (which typically is indicative of the quality of the dating scene), it depends on your age and gender.
However, this ratio is not the same for every age bracket. The amount of men to women and women to men varies depending on the age.
Despite a fairly even gender ratio there are many who think Charlotte is a less than ideal city to be single in.
WalletHub’s yearly ranking of the best and worst cities for singles found Charlotte to be the 128th best on a list of 182 cities.
There were primarily two reasons for this. For one, Charlotte is getting more and more expensive to live in and thus date. The more expensive the city, the less disposable income one can spend on dating. Opting to go out and date less means that both men and women are missing romantic opportunities.
The second point against Charlotte, according to WalletHub, has to do with its dating opportunities. Even though Charlotte is rapidly growing and more singles are moving to the area, WalletHub says the share of singles, gender balance, and online dating opportunities are less ideal than in many other cities.
But what do the residents of Charlotte have to say about the local dating scene?
An Axios survey from 2016 of 19,000 singles in Charlotte found mixed results.
While 45% rated it as an A or B, 37.44% gave it a C with 17% rating it as a D or an F.
A: 8.73%
B: 36.93%
C: 37.44%
D: 11.56%
F: 5.34%
These marks are far from perfect, but they should give you hope that finding someone is possible in Charlotte.
All you need to do is know where to look.
Best Places To Meet Singles in Charlotte According to Dating Coach in Charlotte
You’re tired of being single – we get that.
Instead of bemoaning the fact that Charlotte has a mediocre dating scene, let’s show you that there are plenty of places where you can meet fellow singles.
Here are some of our favorite spots in town.
Charlotte Speed Dating Events
There are speed dating events in Charlotte just about every week.
Go here to Eventbrite to find a speed dating event for your age group.
Looking at the upcoming events we see a host of event for the following age brackets:
24-38
33-42
43-55
56+
As events are run by various organizations the age range and prices will vary. For the most part dating events cost between $20-40.
Festivals
Charlotteans like to party.
There are few better places to meet singles in real life than festivals. Everyone is having a good time and feeling social, and you have dozens of opportunities to strike up a conversation with lovely festival-goers.
Carolina Renaissance Festival – Renaissance-style festival
Charlotte Wine and Food Weekend – Food and drink festival
Charlotte Oktoberfest – Beer festival
Bring a friend, enjoy the festival, and organically meet cool people with similar interests.
Local Meetups
Look to sites such as Meetup and Facebook to find social groups full of like-minded individuals.
Many think that the best place to meet singles is a bar. While that may be the case, for a long-term relationship, you might consider mining for singles in a place where you have to yell just to say hello.
Here are some popular Meetups in the Charlotte area:
No matter your interest, I guarantee there will be a social group for you.
And it’s fine if you don’t find the love of your life in this group. Making friends, expanding your social circle, or just getting out of the house and doing something different are all welcomed byproducts of signing up for this event.
Best First Date Spots In Charlotte
Now that you know where to meet singles it’s time to figure out where to bring them on a date.
Charlotte’s recent upstart growth has led to an increase in high-quality date ideas.
For a first date, I recommend taking a self-guided street art tour that’ll take you on a stroll through Charlotte’s NoDa and South End neighborhoods. This makes for an ideal first date for various reasons. For one, first dates should be brief, cost you under $20, and somewhat active.
Cheap and brief because why invest time and money into a stranger? Another reason it’s ideal because first dates have a habit of running into conversational doldrums. To guard against this you always have the option of discussing the lurid 50 foot mural in front of you.
For a second date hop on a bike and take the Plaza Midwood Tuesday Night Ride. Starting at 8 every Tuesday a group of bike riders set off for a 10-15 mile ride to a new part of the city every Tuesday. Second dates should always be 100% free and active.
Third dates should be close to your home, romantic, and free of financial and time restrictions. Romantic may mean something different to every person. To some, romantic might be a Pac-Man battle over at the 16-Bit Game Bar while for others it’s catching an improv show at the Comedy Zone. Or, when in doubt, order a couple of dishes at the ritzy and venerable Barrington’s, followed by dancing at one of Charlotte’s many clubs.
But perhaps all this planning is a bit premature.
Perhaps a date with the best dating coach in Charlotte is needed before a romantic date can take place.
Taking Advantage Of Charlotte’s Numbers
We encourage our Charlotte students to MegaDate in order to quickly find their partner.
Charlotte has thousands of singles ready to mingle. Use these numbers to your advantage by learning how to strategically go on 20 dates in 90 days.
Dating around with intention, goals in mind, and with the romantic know-how to court the man or woman you want is what we teach the Charlotte singles that sign up for our program, Dating Decoded.
It’s in this program where you’ll team up with a slew of dating experts that will help you deal with every modern dating hurdle from creating the perfect dating app, to addressing dating anxiety, sexual hold-ups, and much more.
To learn more about how emlovz, your Charlotte dating coach can help you find love, book a call now.
There is certain behavior that men are universally turned off by.
Chewing with your mouth open, spraying him with spit as you talk, and constantly checking your phone on a date are all turn-offs. But if you’re avoiding the more obvious turn-offs, you might be wondering why he’s pulling away.
The first few dates went so well, yet suddenly, he’s pulling away.
He takes forever to answer messages, has delayed or canceled plans, and isn’t reaching out as he did before.
There are dozens of reasons he might be pulling away, but here are the most common reasons men lose interest and slowly fade into the abyss after an early spark.
Reasons He’s Pulling Away
Keep this behavior in mind when starting a new relationship. I’m not advising you to change the marrow of your bones to appease the man you just started dating. However, I am asking you to reign in certain behaviors that may work against you, at least early on in a relationship.
1) You Had Sex Too Soon
It’s not a given that sex on a first or second date means he’ll pull away.
The opposite could easily be the case. Sex on a first or second date could mean he then becomes infatuated, things continue to heat up in and outside of the bedroom, and you two quickly consolidate your relationship.
But men have been known to devalue and pull away from women who have sex within the first couple of dates.
Play it safe by waiting until at least the third date to slide between the bedsheets. Better safe than sorry when dating a guy you really like. Having sex too early in a relationship could mean getting relegated to a booty call or someone he calls when he’s lonely.
I understand that in our sexually progressive world this may seem like old-world advice. But just because women are more sexually liberated doesn’t mean men respect that sexual autonomy. Sure, they’ll be more than happy to have sex on a first date, but instead of celebrating a woman’s choice to have sex without fear of repercussions, many will then lose interest.
This is why we advocate for the better safe than sorry approach.
2) You’re Too Available
Men want to date a woman who has her own life.
They’ll devalue you if you’re always free whenever he reaches out. He wants to imagine you living a rich life full of hobbies, friendships, and interesting experiences.
Yet if you message him back immediately, promptly agree to all his date plans, and appear to be waiting by the phone all day for him to message, he’ll lose interest.
Don’t believe me?
Imagine if the tables were turned.
How into a guy would you be if it appeared as though he had no social life or hobbies and his whole life revolved around you despite you two just having started dating?
Does this sound like the man of your dreams or a guy who needs to get his stuff together?
Men feel the same way about women – at least the women they want to date.
So what’s the solution?
You might be tempted to play mind games and make up plans, so you have to cancel or set a timer of four hours before you message him back.
We don’t advise doing this.
There’s a much healthier way to date that will reap greater benefits—it’s called MegaDating.
MegaDating is a proactive dating approach that will see you go on 20 dates in 90 days. Yep, that’s a new date every 4.5 days.
With your social calendar filling up, you won’t be nearly as available as you once were. This has nothing to do with you playing games; you’re just an in-demand woman.
But the point of MegaDating isn’t to become less available, that’s just a byproduct. The objective is to find your ideal partner ASAP.
It’s a proactive dating approach that helps manage your energy, avoid settling, refine your dating skills, and of course find not just a partner, but your ideal partner in a matter of months.
3) Labeling The Relationship Too Soon
Trying to stick a label on a relationship too soon will likely lead to that label falling off.
It will only stick when the time is right.
Let’s explore why you might be prematurely labeling this new relationship by asking the following questions:
What if you never labeled your relationship? What would that mean to you? Why are you trying to label it now? Is it coming from a space of love or fear?
When the motivation to label a relationship comes from a place of fear it’s because you want to ensure he doesn’t fall for someone else. Or it’s because you’re unsure of how he feels and need this label to address any lingering uncertainty. Why are his words and behavior not good enough for you?
Only have the exclusive talk when you couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. You also want to hit certain milestones before having the “exclusivity talk.” Take a small trip together, weather your first fight, meet his friends and his family, give it a few months.
If this is your forever person, there’s no need to rush into things.
Trying to label the relationship too soon can spook him. Enjoy the connection without adding unnecessary pressure. In fact, what would happen if you let him label the relationship? MegaDating helps too.
If he knows you’re doing a MegaDating experiment (20 dates in 90 days) that can stimulate competition in him, making him want to end your experiment sooner. Don’t play games but make sure you’re having enough experiences to make an informed decision about who you settle down with.
4) Stop Talking About Work
You’ve got to get deep with a romantic partner.
You have to be vulnerable and get them to open up too.
If your conversations are always surface-level or about work, he’s going to get bored (and so will you).
If you two are struggling to open up, I suggest playing the viral NYT 36 Questions game.
No need to ask all 36 questions, just bounce around taking turns asking the questions you find to be the most interesting.
Some questions you might consider asking include:
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
What is your most treasured memory?
Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
If you don’t want to play the game, arm yourself with a few of these questions to ask him the next time you two go on a date.
5) He Realized You Two Weren’t Compatible Before You Did
The reason you’re here reading an article about why he’s pulling away is because the first few dates when so freakin’ well. Now you’re trying to piece together why this initial spark didn’t turn into a wildfire of passion.
Not everything is as complex as we make it out to be.
It’s possible that you didn’t do anything wrong per se, just that you two aren’t compatible.
Yes there was an initial attraction. But after that novelty of the dynamic died down, he realized before you did that maybe you two are too different to make things work in the long run. Now instead of telling you as much, he’s reticent because he doesn’t possess the tact to tell a woman who he initially vibed with that he doesn’t see a future with her.
Again, this is another reason to MegaDate. If it doesn’t work with one guy, fine, on to the next one. When you have multiple dates lined up, it’s difficult to get hung up on a guy.
Ready to Make a Change?
If you’re experiencing a recurring pattern of men pulling away from you and you’re eager to enact significant changes, I invite you to check out our complimentary Masterclass. Discover how MegaDating can empower you to attract the man of your dreams.
If your dating journey is your top priority and you’re seeking personalized guidance beyond a pre-recorded video, I encourage you to schedule a call with one of our team members. During this conversation, we’ll delve into your specific challenges and aspirations, and outline how our lifetime coaching program, Dating Decoded, can assist you in finding love within an average timeframe of 2 to 9 months.
Dating Decoded
The quickest way to find love is via MegaDating.
Instead of dating one person at a time we’ll teach you how to comb through the masses to qualify men and go on dates with compatible men. After dating around with intention (and with the mentality of scientists), you’ll meet your partner in a matter of months.
To teach you the ways of MegaDating we’ve assembled a team of rock star coaches.
Our Team
Emyli, co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host coaching sessions every week
Thomas (me), co-founder, and coach. If you ever wanted to know what the man you’re seeing is thinking, just ask Tom
Darshil is our mock date coach for women. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
Hailey is our stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is about to give you a makeover
Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you have the most mind-blowing sex of your life
Renee is our anxiety dating coach. As a licensed therapist she knows the steps needed to turn you into a cool, calm, and collected dater
Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting singles online
Our Community
And look, we realize the single life can be hard. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded, you’ll join a community of supportive singles and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.
And even though we expect you to find love in a few months, if it takes a little longer that’s fine too. Once enrolled you’ll receive a lifetime membership.
If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.
Dating in your 40s as a man might be intimidating.
If you’ve been out of the dating scene for a while you might experience whiplash when re-entering the singles scene.
Priorities have shifted, new prejudices abound, and dating apps are the most common way to meet women.
The scene has changed and you’ll have to be reacquainted to quickly find a partner.
Below, take a look at nine tips to experience the most success while dating in your 40s as a guy.
Dating in Your 40s for Men Tips
#1: Ask Friends to Set You Up
Tell your friends that you are looking for a relationship and if they know someone you think would be a good fit, you would be open to getting set up with them or meeting them at an event.
FYI, female friends or the wives of your friends are probably going to be the best at this. In general, women tend to be more inclined to play matchmaker, so don’t be shy about asking (not to mention they know more women).
Before getting set up, let your friend know about the type of qualities you are looking for in a woman, and that you want to find in someone long-term. This will help your friend select someone who is more likely to be compatible with you.
Don’t simply say “I’m looking,” or “I wanna meet someone.” Get a little bit specific. You don’t want to be overly picky, but you also want to avoid going out with someone who is going to be on a completely different page than you when it comes to things like morals, values and what you consider to be deal-breakers.
Tip #2: Use Online Dating to Your Advantage
Along with meeting through mutual friends, use a variety of other means to meet women in order to optimize your success. One great way to meet women is through online dating sites and apps.
There are several free apps available as well as paid sites to choose from. The top performers across the board for my students are Hinge and Bumble, but I recommend diversifying your outreach by using 5 different dating apps.
You want to avoid relying solely on 1 app because you run the risk of dealing with app-specific glitches, or even being shadow-banned. Being shadow-banned is when your account looks live but it’s actually being blocked from view from other potential matches.
40% of all new relationships start online. You may think you’re the odd man out if you rely on dating apps to meet women, but you’re anything but. Dating apps are nothing more than tools, that if leveraged effectively, can help you quickly meet your ideal partner.
Tip #3: Figure Out Short And Long Term Romantic Goals
Do you know what you’re looking for?
Do you want something short and sweet or something that lasts the rest of your life?
Have you done the marriage thing and know it’s not for you or do you want a serious partner to share your life with?
It’s difficult to get what you want without knowing what you want.
Tip #4: Have Standards And Stick By Them
If you’ve taken our last tip under consideration you know the type of relationship you’re looking for, but do you know who you’re looking for?
As soon as our students enroll we ask that they sit down to create their ideal partner.
We ask which traits they want their partners to have, the job they want, their hobbies, their relationship with family, etc.
We have them create a detailed persona who will guide their search for their ideal partner. Creating your ideal partner will help you find them (now that you know the type of person you’re looking for) and will help you avoid settling for anything less.
When you MegaDate you’ll be dating various women simultaneously. Knowing there is always another woman around the corner will encourage you not to settle.
Tip #5: Have A Process & Procedure
What’s your strategy?
What’s your process?
Look you’ve been here before, I don’t need to tell you how difficult dating as a single man in his 40s is.
So stop the guesswork and use a tried and true strategy.
Use a strategy when it comes to online dating, first dates, messaging women between dates, conversation openers, and every other aspect of dating you deem important.
There’s a right way and a wrong way.
At emlovz we have strategies that have worked for our students and are constantly pushing our students to be active by providing them with both support and challenges to get them that much closer to finding their ideal partner.
Tip #6: Join Clubs And Communities That Speak To You
Join clubs and communities that speak to you – including emlovz.
The best way to meet a compatible woman is to engage in an activity you love.
If you’re a golf buff join a golf club and meet women that have a shared interest. Or maybe you love writing, so join a book club or writing club (which are always full of women).
Whatever your passion is, pursue it in a social setting.
Surrounding yourself with women with similar interests is the best way to meet compatible women.
And look, even if they’re not single they’re bound to have friends who are. Tell them you’re single and looking in case they happen to have a friend. If she likes you, she’ll be more than happy to introduce you to her single friend.
Here are some social clubs you might consider joining:
Book club
Yoga
Dog walking/dog hiking group
Board game Meetup
Langauge learning Meetup
Join a high-end gym
Kickball
Co-ed sports
Volunteer
Dating Decoded
The last group included on this list is ours.
Our program is called Dating Decoded and it’s a great place for men to learn the skills they need to meet other women but also to find a community. Dating Decoded is full of men just like you who are single, in their 40s, and looking for a long-term partner.
Our members support each other, act as accountability buddies, and even meet up in real life to hang out and meet women.
It’s a tight-knit community of coaches and men that genuinely care about each other.
Tip #7: Give Yourself an Age Range of 10 Years When Looking for Singles
The average age difference between heterosexual couples is 2.3 years. A woman who is 2.3 years younger than you is the sweet spot. Perhaps because you’re in your 40s and have less of a dating pool to wade through (her as well) you can extend that range to about 5 or so years. A woman who is 5 years younger is a realistic target – not a woman who is 10+ years younger.
Tip #8: Use Recent Pictures for Your Online Dating Profiles
Don’t let the fact that you’re in your 40s intimidate you into using dated photos on your online dating apps and websites. Yes, it may be tempting to put a photo of you back in your days as a bright-eyed 20-something or just-got-my-shit-together-and-loving-life 30-something, but remember that you’re planning on meeting these women in real life.
Worst case – if you choose online dating photos when you had a full head of hair, and you’re now balding– the date isn’t going to go so well.
Even if a woman is attracted to you upon meeting, she’s going to find the fact that you used old photos really sketchy. No one likes these types of surprises when it comes to dating, hence the show Catfish.
Remember that a lot of women won’t just be unfazed by your age — they’ll be excited about it. This brings me to my next tip.
Tip #9: Embrace Your Age
Some men I talk to who are in their 40s worry that their age is going to be a deterrent in the dating world.
But a lot of women actually gravitate toward men in their 40s, particularly when they want a serious relationship. Dating in your 40s as a man usually means that you are more established, cultured, and well-rounded than men in their 20s and even early 30s. And as a man, you don’t have any type of biology working against you when it comes to starting a family.
In fact, a 2010 study including 3,770 heterosexual adults found that women tend to prefer older men. Women often associate these men with confidence, intelligence, good child-rearing and overall maturity.
Tip #10: Disclose Your Marital Status
If you’re divorced, don’t keep that a secret from a potential partner. Remember that they’re going to find out eventually, so it’s best to be upfront about it from the beginning.
When you disclose your divorce, however, be sure to talk about it in positive terms. Don’t bemoan the difficulties of divorce and talk about how much it sucks to have to start over by dating in your 40s. You also don’t want to talk about what a crazy succubus your ex-wife is. Think about the things you learned from the experience and how it helped you grow as a person.
Moreover, you don’t need to dive into explicit details about your divorce at the beginning of a relationship. Let her know you’re divorced, you grew from the experience and are happy to be back in the dating world now that you have moved on.
Now, if you haven’t moved on from the divorce, give yourself the proper time to heal before diving back into the dating world. It’s tempting to rebound after a heartbreak, but doing so is only going to stymie the grieving process, which is necessary following something as big as a divorce.
Tip #11: Get in Shape
Your testosterone levels decrease in your 40s, which means staying in shape can be more difficult. If you’ve never worried too much about working out, try to start incorporating more activity into your routine by exercising 30-45 minutes a day, five times a week.
This doesn’t mean you have to go crazy with bodybuilder workouts, but whatever your activity level has been in your 20s and 30s should be amped up now that your metabolism has slowed down. If your diet isn’t the best, take this new era as a way to embrace healthier foods.
Eating well and exercising won’t just make you look better — it will make you feel better too. When you feel good, your confidence increases, and that will automatically make you more appealing to women. In all honesty, when it comes to attraction, confidence can seriously trump a pair of biceps as far as sex appeal goes.
Tip #12: Make Her an Offer She Can’t Refuse
This tip is a tried and true one whether you are dating in your 40s or beyond. When you ask a woman out, it’s important that you stand out from other men by offering her a compelling date idea that appeals to her specific interests.
For example, if the woman you’re approaching is a wine enthusiast, you could offer to take her to an eclectic wine tasting at a place she hasn’t been before.
It’s also important that you have the date properly planned so you can give her all the details she needs, i.e., the exact time of day, the day of the week, and location of the kick-ass date you have planned. The time, date, and location comprise a date’s call-to-action, or what we here at emlovz refer to as a TDL.
Using a TDL prevents you and your prospective date from engaging in a frustrating back-and-forth to figure out the what, when, and where of your date. Girls are used to guys offering laissez-faire invitations to “hang out” or “grab a drink.” Be better than those guys.
When a man comes up with a compelling date idea and uses a TDL, it shows that he’s being chivalrous by keeping a woman’s time and interests in mind.
Tip #13: MegaDate
This is another dating tip that transcends all age groups. If you are single, you absolutely, 100% need to be MegaDating if you want to reach your dating goals FAST.
MegaDating is a dating process that involves dating several different women at the same time in order to diffuse your energy and keep your social calendar full.
MegaDating is great when you’re dating in your 40s as a man because it will ultimately give you the confidence you need to find success. This strategy requires that you get in front of 10 new women daily, which helps diffuse your energy and increase your confidence. Like they say, practice makes perfect, so the more you MegaDate, the better you will become at attracting women.
Another reason this process is a great one to use when dating in your 40s is that it prevents you from settling for a mediocre relationship. You may feel a bit rushed to settle down with someone at this point in your life, but choosing to marry a person that isn’t truly right for you will only lead to discord in the relationship.
When you MegaDate, you are constantly hanging out with interesting women, which will keep you from getting tempted into locking down a relationship immediately and rushing into something that isn’t good for you.
I used MegaDating as my main strategy during my 100-date experiment. It helped me find a compatible partner and it can do the same for you!
Tip #14: No More Dinner On First Dates
Crazy? We prefer revolutionary.
Dinner on a first date is the most basic thing you can do.
Look, chances are you’re taking out a woman who has been around the block. She’s been dating for a decade or two and has been to her fair share of boring dates.
So ditch boring.
Instead of being just another guy she had dinner with, be that guy that took her on a hike, a romantic bike ride, who hit the dog park with her, who went painting, etc.
Be the guy that does something inventive and fun.
It’s difficult to spark someone’s interest when they’ve grown tired of dating.
Let’s drill down a bit further on what to do on a first date.
She either listed them on her profile or you pulled them out of her when chatting.
Create a date that revolves around her interests. If she’s super into hiking, go for a lovely jaunt after work. If she’s into outdoor sports, go for a bike ride. And if she’s the artsy type hit up a museum.
Make your date brief, fun, and memorable.
That’s the MegaDating way.
Tip #15: Wait To Introduce Your Children When You’re Dating After 40
Your children’s emotional needs always come first.
You don’t need me telling you this, this is just a fact of your life.
Should you have just split from your wife, your children will need time to understand and manage the new transition. Introducing a new woman into the dynamic too soon after a split could complicate things.
When you believe your children to be in a stable place and when the relationship is serious enough, consider introducing your children to your new girlfriend.
Don’t spring this on your children.
Make them aware that you’re dating.
When the time is right, sit down with them and address their fears.
Tell them how much you care about your new partner, assure them that their mother will never be replaced, and listen to their fears.
If they seem receptive to the idea of meeting your new partner, schedule a fun (yet brief) outing where all parties can meet. Ideally, choose an activity that is active and that the kids enjoy.
Your children will be much more willing to meet your partner if the outing involves an activity they enjoy.
Allow your children time to warm up to the woman you’re dating. Don’t expect them to welcome her in with open arms and set a spot for her at the dinner table.
Lastly, only introduce women you’re serious about. Forcing your children to meet every woman you go out with may throw them for a spin.
Tip #16: Be Direct About Your Intentions – Dating For 40-Year-Old-Men
Dating after 40 doesn’t look like it did when you were in your 20s.
In your 20s, you were open to a multitude of romantic relationships.
One-night stands, summer flings, cuddle-buddies, girlfriends, etc.
Both you and the 30-year and 40-year old women you’re dating have a specific dynamic they’re looking for.
Early on in a fledgling relationship make your intentions known.
Do you just want someone to pass the time with or are you looking for a wife?
This will save both of you time and a headache later on.
Tip #17: Prepare To Be Plan B
The women you dated in your 20s didn’t have a lot going on in their lives.
They worked and enjoyed life.
That was it.
Women in their 30s and 40s have serious work obligations, a complex social life to keep together, and most likely a family to raise.
They have routines and schedules that they’ve kept for years.
Don’t expect to waltz into her life and demand her attention whenever you want it.
Not only does she have more responsibilities, but she’s just not as apt to go out and drink on a Tuesday as she used to be. Adjust your date ideas and expectations accordingly.
Tip #18: Every Woman Is Different
You’re dating because you’ve yet to find the right person.
For whatever reason, your last relationship didn’t work out.
After a while of being unsuccessful, I’ve noticed students of mine assume that future relationships will be like prior ones.
That the women they date will have the same defects as past ones.
Emotionally you may feel this is true, but intellectually you know it’s not.
Every woman is unique and deserves to be dated without unwarranted associations.
Stop assuming and judging prior to meeting a new woman.
She’s new and should be treated as a clean slate, untarnished by past experiences.
Tip #19: Stay Away From First Date Controversy – Dating In Your Late 40s
A little polarization is fine.
You don’t want to go on five dates before learning the woman sitting across from you spent January 6th of 2021 storming the Capitol Building.
What you want to avoid however is oversharing past negative experiences. There’s no need to go into detail about the toxic relationship you were just in.
If you two are bonding it can be tempting to overshare. But sharing undesirable personal details is a major turn-off.
First dates are for feeling each other out and making a connection. If you can do this, you’ve succeeded. There will come a time when you may need to share sensitive information.
But it won’t be on the first date.
Enjoy your conversation, smile, and focus on having a good time.
Dating Decoded
Interested in learning how we here at emlovz can help you date in your 40s?
We teach our students the shortcut to finding their ideal match by MegaDating. MegaDating is our dating philosophy and it shapes everything we teach here at emlovz. Simply put MegaDating is dating prolifically with the specific goal of going on 20 dates in 90 days. This will give you ample women to compare and contrast so you can refine not only your dating skills but also who your ideal partner is.
To teach you how to quickly find highly compatible women in just weeks and become the most eligible bachelor in town you’ll team up with romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.
Our Team
Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host two coaching sessions every week
Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
Darshil is a confidence coach, wingman, and all around great guy to have on your team. Once student, now a teacher he knows what you’re going through and how to get the most from your dating life
Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
Renee is our anxiety dating coach. As a licensed therapist she knows the steps needed to turn you into a cool, calm, and collected dater
Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting women online
Our Community
And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded, you’d be joining a community of supportive men and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.
Our program offers every student a lifetime membership (as if you’ll need it) so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.
If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, what dating in your 40s means to you, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.
