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Is It a Date or Am I Just Hanging Out With Her?

By Emyli LovzJune 14, 2018Strategy
is it a date or just hanging out

Is it a date or are you just hanging out?

There’s nothing more frustrating than wondering what the status of your relationship is — or if a relationship is even brewing. Lots of men may start hanging out with a woman under the guise of romance only to find out later that the woman thinks of them as “just a friend.”

So how can you tell if you’re on a date or just hanging out with her? Check out the following signs below, along with some key strategies to help ensure you’re never left wondering “Is it a date?” again!


Sign #1: Friends Are Always Around

Anything other than the two of you together is a crowd when it comes to being on a date. If your out with your or her friends, then you’re most likely not a love interest in her mind.

Whenever you want to take a girl on a date, make sure it’s just the two of you. The only time it would be good to include friends during the very early stages of dating is inviting her to an activity with you and your friends after a date. You know, when the energy is right but you promised your buddies you’d meet up with them later in the day. 

Sign #2: There is No Touching or Affectionate Body Language

I’m not saying you should be all over each other on a first date or even second date, but if you find yourself wondering, “Is it a date?” check your body language.

Is she smiling and looking into your eyes? Do you mirror each other’s movements? Has either of you broken the touch barrier (i.e., touching an innocuous area like the shoulder or arm)?

If she’s closed off and neither of you are acting any differently than you would around a platonic friend, you’re probably just hanging out.

Sign #3: You Met On an Online Dating App

If you are hanging out after meeting on something like Tinder, I would certainly hope you consider it a date. Whether or not it’s a good date depends on the strategies used and the chemistry between you two, but it should still be some sort of date if you met using something that literally has “dating” in the title.

Sign #4: You Already Know Each Other

If you’re out with someone you already know, such as a friend or a co-worker, it’s understandable that you are questioning whether she might be interested in you romantically. The lines get really blurry there.

If you’ve known this woman for a few months, and there hasn’t been any touch or escalation in your relationship, ask yourself if she’s simply “networking” with you. Romance is only one reasons a woman might be spending time with you. 


Maybe your a real estate agent and she’s a loan agent. Maybe she’s a journalist and you run an awesome blog. Perhaps she’s into your friend and you don’t even know it.

Always keep your mind open.

So now you know a few of the differences between a date and hanging out. Let’s look at a few strategies you can use to make sure that the woman you’re interested in never questions whether or not her time with you is anything other than romantic.

Date Strategy #1: Call it a Date

A lot of times when men ask out women, they ask something like, “Do you want to hang out?” instead of “Do you want to go on a date?” This often comes from a fear of rejection. Basically, if you don’t call something a date then you’re less likely to get turned down, right?

The thing about that is, when you ask to hang out, you’re much more likely to end up in the friend-zone. She might spend the whole time wondering, “Is it a date?” or even be oblivious to your intentions and assume you’re just friends.

Even worse, a woman might get frustrated with you when you don’t call something a date and assume you’re playing games.

Every time you ask a woman out, make sure you use the word “DATE” to make it really clear exactly what your intentions are. If she rejects you, that actually keeps you from wasting your time because why would you want to go on a date with someone who isn’t romantically interested in you? 

You save time and money. You are winning.

If a rejection happens, accept it, learn from it, and move on to the next.


Strategy #2: Make the Date Compelling

Along with stating that you two are, in fact, going on a date, you want to make sure that the date you choose is compelling. Here are a few ways to ensure that your date idea is something that will appeal to her:

  • Choose something that speaks to her interests
  • Get active
  • Introduce her to a brand new experience that she hasn’t had before
  • Listen to the things she mentions to you that she has a passion for or that she would be interested in trying

Strategy #3: Use a TDL

This is perhaps one of the most important strategies when it comes to making it clear to her that you are on a date and are not simply hanging out as friends or acquaintances.

A TDL is an acronym used to describe the three critical components of a date request’s call-to-action, the time, the date, and the location of the date. The “T” in TDL stands for the “Time” the date will take place. The “D” stands for date you want to meet her. The “L” stands for the location.

Here’s an example of a good use of TDL:

“Hey Sarah, I remember that you mentioned you’re really into craft beers. There’s a new brewery that opened up recently near your area. I was thinking that we could go on a date Saturday at 1 pm and take a brewery tour and do a tasting there.”

Not only does this pay attention to her interests and clearly state that you want to go on a date (not just hang out), but by using a TDL you’ve given her all the specifics she needs. There won’t be any back and forth about scheduling or making reservations. This shows consideration on your part and makes her more inclined to say yes to the date.

Get More Dates

Want to get more dates and crush your dating goals? Head over to my calendar and book a 1-on-1 Skype session with me today! During our session, we will discuss your dating roadblocks and create an action plan. 

I also offer Dating Profile Services to help you stand out among the online dating competition and get more matches. Finally, my comprehensive online dating course will help you attract high-value women and stay out of the friend-zone for good!