“I think this is a great question! I currently have a boyfriend who literally meets ALL of my criteria, which is a hefty list. However, when we first met, what I loved most about meeting with him was how confident he was to talk to me and compliment me. There are obviously a lot of different characteristics that differentiate a man from a boy, but confidence really reflects that a man is sure of himself. Of course overconfidence can be a turn off, but being able to hold a conversation and someone who is not afraid to respectfully tell you how beautiful you are is important. It really differentiates the people who are all talk on Snapchat, versus the men who are genuinely respectful and able to be a respectful man!”

Sophie’s turn-ons are universal.

She wants a guy who:

— Can hold a conversation

— Is confident

— Can flatter her without coming off like a creep

There’s no better way to generate confidence than to date.

First dates can be scary, there’s no doubt about that. However, as each first date passes you’ll become less and less worried than you were the time before. MegaDating is a dating strategy that teaches men how to mine dates so that they can date prolifically. While there are a wealth of benefits to MegaDating, the biggest boon is that it imbues you with confidence.

MegaDating – the process of dating several people at the same time in order to diffuse your energy and increase your self-confidence.

However as Reyna will tell you, confidence and tactful flattery aren’t the only qualities women look for on a first date.

“For me it is important to see eye to eye, talk about interesting topics or expand the conversation to other topics. I am a woman of few words but I love knowing the heart of the person in front of me.

It turns me on that the person is [involved in] interesting projects since I always try to keep busy. A positive mind I believe is important to me, especially in these difficult times. Seeing how the boy expresses himself in life, in himself, in women. I am a very sensitive person so I try to protect my energy.”

A first date is when a fledgling relationship is at its most fragile. One offhand joke, wrong touch, or negative comment could be the difference between a second date and being ghosted.

Reyna reminds us that first dates — especially ones that take place in the midst of a pandemic — should be positive. Never complain about your job, friends, apartment, etc. on a first date.

When she thinks of you after the date do you want her thinking that you’re kind of depressing or that you’re an optimistic dude that makes her smile?

One way to create positive associations is to pick an awesome first date spot. As Steph tells us, this is pretty important when it comes to a first date.

“[I love] going out to a place I’ve never been before.”

She’s going out with you because she wants to try something new.

She’s dated around but still hasn’t found someone worth settling down with.

Being that novelty is in the air, it only makes sense that you take her to an awesome brewery, park, ax-throwing bar, etc. that she’s never been to before.

Whatever you do, avoid taking her to boring cafes that she goes to all the time. 

Sweep her off her feet by doing/going somewhere she’s never been before.

If you’re in need of some first date ideas, here are just a few off the top of my head:

— Go for a bike ride through a scenic park, then hit up a brewery or donut bar

— Share a bottle of wine, cheese, and crackers at the beach or scenic lookout

— Get your paint and drink on at a paint+drink combo bar

— Tapa bar hop

— Public art walk tour

— Join a Meetup group

— Hike a new trail

— Yoga

— Ask her 36 questions and fall in love

But hey, as Melo tells us, sometimes even the coolest most novel first date ideas aren’t necessary.

“The first [really good] date that I remember so much was with a boy who was the older brother of a friend that I really liked since the first time I saw him. He invited me to have a coffee and it was really nice, we just talk for hours and there was a lot of chemistry between us.”

If you already have a solid connection with the woman you’ll be dating, there’s no need to fret over creating the most amazing first date experience. When it’s all said and done what’s most important is chemistry and compatibility.

Speaking of which, there are a few ways to absolutely obliterate any vibes you had been cultivating.

I’ll let Anel tell you what I’m referring to.

“Definitely something that I like on a first date is when my date pays attention to me, looks me in the eyes and shows interest in what I am saying, without getting distracted with his cellphone; I believe that a first date is key to get to know the other person and to determine whether you want to keep dating them or not.”

Along with not checking your phone here are a few other first-date dealbreakers.

— Arriving late

— Dressing to unimpress

— Touching her inappropriately

— Not having a plan

— Inappropriately commenting on her body

— Talking too much

— Not trying to get to know her

If these are things that are universally disliked, what’s universally approved behavior?

Pat will tell us one thing all women love.

“Deadpan sense of humor, a nice smile 😃 and a sense of humor always turned me on, because of a guy can make me laugh, he instantly becomes more attractive.”

What woman doesn’t like laughing? If you ever meet a woman — or human for that matter — that isn’t a laugher, ask yourself, do you really want to be spending time with this person?

However, being funny isn’t the only trait women are into.

Nayana looks for guys that have a delicate combination of traits that few men can pull off.

“My biggest first date turn-on would be confidence and being humble at the same time. But overconfidence can escalate quickly into a turn-off.”

For Ellen, what some might consider awkward, she kinda likes.

Here’s what she said when I asked her about her all-time best first date.

“It was nothing extraordinary, but I was very excited about this date because I was attracted to this guy and I remember my arms were shaking with excitement. He was really attentive and caring and I noticed that he wanted me to like him so badly, he looked a bit awkward and I found this cute. It was a very romantic date and we were talking a lot and I realized that moment he was my soulmate.”

Here’s a little-known fact.

We’re attracted to people that are attracted to us.

Indicating that you’re into someone — whether it be via an awkward look or romantic gestures — is a great way to level up to a second date.

Indicate your interest by maintaining eye contact, playfully touching, asking her questions about herself, and of course by asking her out on a second date at the end of the first.

Our last influencer is Andrea.

When I asked her about her biggest first date turn-ons she had quite a bit to say.

“It depends on what I’m looking for but definitely if he smells good, the way he talks like if he talks too much about himself I’d just get bored but if he doesn’t talk at all or is not even trying then it’s just not gonna go anywhere 😂. Mmm I also love when guys have initiative, so they basically plan the date before and they’re not like asking you what do you want to do, I mean of course, it’s important when they ask about what you like to do, eat, preferences in general! but when they just tell you “we’re doing this” I just love that haha, or they can even give you options for you to choose but they planned them before so it’s just like they are interested in your likes! Initiative!! And, of course, [he needs to be] a gentleman and well educated, polite like how he talks to other people (waiters for example)”

The goddesses of IG have spoken.

But before you go forth to prosper allow me to leave you with a few more first date tips from someone whose profession entails ensuring that men achieve their romantic goals.

As an emlovz coach & matchmaker, Audrey has helped countless men plan and execute the perfect first date. Her experience playing cupid has led her to some pretty spot-on conclusions.

First off you’ll want to start off every date on the right foot.

Ask lots of questions and be an engaged listener. If she lights up when she is talking about something, dive further into that topic. Asking the most simple questions can help her to expand on something she loves. She will connect you to those positive emotions.

Don’t brag about your job, your living situation, your degree, or anything of the sort. This date isn’t a time to boost your ego or receive applause from a girl you barely know.

Be nice to service workers. If a waiter pours more water into your glass, say, “Thank you.” When paying a cashier, be friendly and make eye contact. It is such a turnoff to date a guy who doesn’t act mature in public settings.

And remember…

Finally, don’t overthink it or be too serious. This isn’t a test for marriage or ultimate compatibility. This is you and another human hanging out and simply learning about each other. You don’t have anything to prove, just be yourself, you’ve got this!

Most guys go into first dates thinking that if they immediately hit it off with the woman sitting across from them it’s all for not.

This isn’t how first dates should be framed.

As Audrey says, a first date is nothing more than an opportunity for you and a stranger to get to know each other a bit and determine if there’s enough chemistry to warrant a second date.

That’s all.

Well, after having learned first date dating tips from both IG influencers and dating coaches I have no doubt that you’re ready to conquer the hearts of singles ladies everywhere.

But while I don’t have my doubts, maybe you do.

To learn what it takes to find a relationship this year, book a 1-on-1 Zoom call with emlovz.

Through private or group coaching sessions or via our matchmaking program — we’ll teach and/or find you super compatible women that you’re bound to fall in love with.