It’s Emyli here, America’s online dating coach. Throughout the course of the next 3 episodes, you are going to learn how to become a good conversationalist and exactly what to say on a date.
So you’ve got a date, ey? Congrats! You might be wondering how to keep the conversation flowing naturally–well no sweat–I’ve got just the thing for you.
In this episode of EmLovzTV, we are going to talk about what you should say on a date.
Here’s some quick tips if your date is happening like, now.
Make sure you “check your mouthpiece”. Don’t just talk about yourself – ask your date a variety of dating questions about her life. Don’t tell her how great you are at everything. Keep important or sacred things about yourself, to yourself, and let her figure all of these things out as the relationship progresses.
Before you click on my video below, another important thing to keep in mind is to stimulate your date’s emotions. Don’t create a dating discussion around trying to reason yourself into her life. That’s not going to work or even come close to putting her in the mood. So check out my video next, and keep on reading below after you watch.
Don’t Give Her Your Resume
Dates are much different than job interviews. Learn the difference between the two, and you’ll be able to be successful at both. If you initially tell your date how great you are and how much you’ve accomplished, you’ll just land in the friendzone. People want to talk about themselves, and women are the world’s best talkers. Save your time and energy by asking dating questions and actually listening to what she says.
Find information within the conversation that you connect with and use it to escalate conversation and build rapport. If you take this approach, you’ll increase the likelihood of getting on another date with her.
Reverse Your Perspective
First of all, you want to understand how a woman’s mind works, and then you want to align your wants and needs with hers. Reverse your perspective. Imagine the roles are reversed. If you were “in a woman’s shoes,” what do you suppose she would want to talk about?
Successful persuasion is the artful combination of real meaning (e.g. talking about things you both really care about), feelings, and understanding. Everyone wants to relate, to be understood, to feel as though others understand them. Ask yourself what motivates and drives her; if you don’t know, ask her. This is also a great way to keep the conversation going on a date.
Use The Human Mind As a Tool
Only ten percent of all received data operates in the conscious mind. It’s like driving a car. When you first get your license, you’re hyper aware of every little detail, careful to always signal before merging and keeping your distance between cars. After time, this conscious awareness becomes second nature and your subconscious takes over. The barrier between these two fields of consciousness is called The Critical Factor. This factor is the part of the mind that passes judgment.
If you can learn to get around her Critical Factor (or judgment system), then you can replace any negative judgment she may have with your own positive subliminal suggestions. Once her critical factor has been bypassed, you can then control her behavioral responses without her being consciously aware of it. This is a great way to remove her resistance and reactance. Again, the easiest way to do this is to engage her with questions. This will allow you to explore the depths of who she is. Grab your smartphone and take 20 minutes to come up with 20 different questions you can ask your next date. Don’t be boring, ask her questions that relate to her emotions. Start your questions with “How did it feel to…”.
Create a Deep Emotional Connection
Women are less logical then men. Use this to your advantage when pondering what to say on a date. Women think and react to the way they feel; this process is why we tend to be more intuitive by nature. You want to place yourself into a position of subliminal control while making her believe that it is she who is controlling the outcome.
In theory, you are managing her emotional state; that is, you are creating the exact effect you want while making her feel good and lowering her barriers toward you. The most effective seducers are able to implement changes in their target’s minds through subliminal suggestion and through reprogramming without ever betraying their hidden agenda. Before your next date do some research. If you know the woman you’re meeting loves dogs, perhaps you could walk through a dog park with her after grabbing a warm cup of coffee. She’ll instantly feel connected emotionally with you.
Be Careful What You Say On a Date
Trance words are intangible feeling words; they cannot be held or physically obtained. They are descriptive and specifically vague “feeling” words that uncover beliefs and perceptions held by the speaker. I go into more detail about this in my online dating module in my online dating course for men. Basically these are words that uncover the world as the speaker sees it. In order to build conversational rapport with a woman, identify the types of trance words she is using and implement them into your diction. This will trigger her subconscious to trust you, because she feels you’re on her level.
Now I wanna hear from you…did my blog and video help you learn what to say on a date? Tell me about a time when you recently used my strategies to your benefit…or even better, tell me about a time in your past when you absolutely blew it on your date because you didn’t know what to say on a date.
Now that you’ve mastered part 1 of my conversation series, don’t forget to move on to part two which discusses how to tell a story on a date.
Wanna talk it over your specific dating situation with me? Feel free and book a Skype coaching session on my calendar. I love working one-on-one with smart, hardworking men who are looking to reach their dating goals.
And keep up the good work because You Deserve the Perfect Partner!