It’s Emyli, America’s Dating Coach for Men. Today we’re covering part two of our three-part conversation series. So if you are thinking of starting here, make sure you go back to my post on what to say on a date first. Throughout the course of the next 3 episodes, you’re going to learn how to be a good conversationalist with women.
Why is this important? Because meaningful conversation is the key to effective seduction, and there are precise techniques that anyone can use to master effectively communicate. If you follow my steps below, you’ll never have to worry about being a bad conversationalist again. The reward- you’ll have much higher success at converting first dates into second dates.
So how do you do it?…
In this episode of EmLovzTV you’re going to learn how to use storytelling to add value to your conversations.
Ask Yourself The Following Questions
What is my objective in telling her this story?
How do I want her to feel at the end of my story?
Do I want her to think that I’m funny? Sensitive? Sexy?
During your story, in order to maintain interest- you’ll want to reveal important aspects of your character. Fully express your morals, beliefs, compassion and humanity. This will help you establish a sense of trust with your date. Stand firm behind your beliefs, no matter what you she thinks. This will increase her curiosity her sexual attraction towards you.
Be Positive and Honest
To be a good conversationalist you’ll want to focus on your positive qualities, and “hang a lantern” on the negative ones. This will create a positive mental picture in her mind about you. Examples could include telling her stories of hardship, things you’ve overcome, lessons you’ve learned, and experiences you’ve had.
Be sure to bring to her attention all of your must-haves. Otherwise you could get you into trouble later in the relationship. An example could be your current intention of not wanting a relationship immediately. When you bring up the things that other men sweep under the rug, you strategically position yourself higher than your competition. She’ll be hooked by your honesty, which will make you seem even more charismatic. Admit your faults but never become negative. This is one of my very best dating conversation tips for men.
Show her that you are humble, especially if you are a very successful man. Humility is incredibly sexy. This is why the rich man, who doesn’t mention the fact that he’s loaded, becomes so much more attractive down the line- when she eventually finds out. It is an incredible test of character to restrain oneself from validation. Look for those who do and copy them. They are among the most attractive people on earth.
Tell an Emotional Story
Make sure your stories incite emotional appeal and relate to the senses. Remember, women are emotional, not logical. If you get her out of her head and into her body, relating to her senses- you’ll have a much easier time of creating sexual chemistry. Like a good writer, paint pictures with your words. Read books with vivid imagery and examine the language they use. Use some past and future emotional events to engage her.
It’s super important that you avoid discussing anything that is currently happening in the bar, coffee shop, or venue you meet your date in. There is nothing more unattractive than a man who feels the need to put into words things that are self-evident. For example, don’t say anything like this “Wow, I really like that stuffed deer hanging on the wall.”
Examples of How to Begin a Story on a Date
When I was a kid…
I always wanted to be a _____ when I grew up, it just seemed so ________.
It’s taken a lot of hard work but in five years, I’ll be _________.
I used to be ________, that’s why I’m ___________ now.
I came from a family that _________, which probably explains _______.
My most embarrassing moment was __________.
Last summer my friends and I __________, it was an awesome experience because _________. This year we plan on __________.
Just Be Yourself
It’s really simple- don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Eventually it’ll catch up to you and she’ll find another guy to replace you.
Tell stories that mean something to you. Tell your date a story about what’s currently motivating you to get outta bed at the crack of dawn. Nothing’s more sexy than a man who is focused and determined to crush his daily purpose. Show her that you know exactly what you want and where you’re going. Women want to follow strong leaders.
Having purpose builds sexual interest and makes her more attracted to you. Here’s a challenge for your next date conversation- can you come up with a story about how deep your character is?
If you want to eliminate dating anxiety, force yourself to pay more attention to the woman sitting next to you. What can you learn about the way she is dressed? Is her body language demonstrating interest, disinterest, boredom, nervousness or relaxation? Focus less on your insecurities, and more on her.
If she is bored, what story could you tell her that would perk her back up? Maybe you can ask her to tell you a story (not in those exact words) about her path to whatever career she landed herself in.
Dating conversation that is neutrally meaningful always wins. Don’t brag about how great you are, but let the characters in your stories demonstrate your value. This will make you seem charismatic and well-liked. Let your audience feel your experiences. Trust that these experiences happened and allow your dates to reach their own conclusions about you.
And guess what… now you know how to be a good conversationalist by storytelling. Make sure you check out my final video in this series: what not to say on a date.
Now I wanna hear from you…how did my video help you? Tell me about a time when you recently used my conversation strategies to your benefit…or even better, tell me about a time before you watched this video when you absolutely tanked and your date never called you back!
Wanna talk it over your specific dating situation with me? Feel free and book a coaching session on my calendar. I love working with smart, hardworking people who want to crush their dating goals.
And keep up the good work because You Deserve the Perfect Partner!