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How to Avoid the Friendzone

By Emyli LovzSeptember 24, 2013Strategy
how to avoid the friendzone

Hey guys, its Emyli America’s dating coach for men. You’re watching EmLovzTV, the place to be if you’re looking to meet and attract beautiful women. On today’s episode, I’m gonna teach you how to avoid the friendzone with all women.  Let’s first go back in time to 2011, when I started my 100 date experiment. One of my biggest dating related questions was:

Why I could be attracted to one guy who had no career, a limited education, a sub-par physique, and a bad attitude…….all the while be completely disinterested in other guys who were CEO’s, had millions of dollars in the bank, had model-quality bodies, had extensive educations, and/or had a consistently positive personalities?

It seemed counter-intuitive, but I found that many other women were having the same experience. WTF?………….. Well, the truth is – every day, hundreds of men struggle to avoid the friendzone. 

And just as many women wonder why they aren’t attracted to “Mr. Right.” Well there is GOOD NEWS guys!

When my 100 date experiment concluded, I found 3 simple steps that can help any man learn how to avoid the friendzone, for good! So watch my video below, then read below for more ideas. 



How to Avoid the Friendzone Tip #1- Stop Using Logic on Her

To avoid the friendzone, you need to understand that you cannot reason your way into a woman’s heart. Stop wasting time using logic to try and prove your value to her. Contrary to popular belief, women don’t exercise sound judgment when selecting a partner.

In seduction, common sense logic must be completely abandoned. Attraction takes place in the body not the mind. It is based on feelings and emotion- not logic and reasoning.

Evolution has allowed our minds to evolve, but our instincts remain our main control system, giving rise to a plethora of subconscious factors beyond our control.

In short, chemistry is number one to make her want you. You must activate her emotions and get her to feel good about you. If it feels right to her to be with you, she will create her own list of reasons why the two of you logically makes sense.

How to Avoid the Friendzone Tip #2- Increase Your Social Value

Another great tip to avoiding the friendzone is to date 10 women per month- a little ditty I like to call megadating. If you are asking yourself how might find this many women to date, download my online dating mega-message template on this page.

In order to increase your social value, you must multiply your output. This will stimulate her interest while simultaneously defusing your energy. This will give you the opportunity to explore your options and give you the time to develop your communication skills, confidence, and personal value.

I’m big on doing everything in repetition. Do something a hundred times and you become a master. That’s true for anything. Many people are unaware of what it really what is really involved in success – repeat repeat repeat produces success in all areas.

I know what you’re thinking: “what if I find a girl I actually want to date exclusively?”

No problem- that is exactly where you will end up if you follow these steps. But when you get there you want to be the one who is being pursued not the pursuer, who can easily be rejected.

How to Avoid the Friendzone Tip #3- Use Reverse Psychology

When my clients ask me how to avoid the friendzone, I quickly have them follow tip #3. First, you need to reverse psychology and friendzone, before she can do it to you. Keep in mind, value is a social construct. People always want what they can’t have.

The chase is where anticipation is born and excitement develops. She wants to win the prize, and she wants what is hard-to-get. So make yourself unavailable, and you instantly increase your value.

You can get to the point where you’re dating the woman of your dreams exclusively, but it has to be because she made the choice to pursue you- against all odds.

She has to feel that it was because of her value that she won the prize. By getting ahead of her and friendzoning her first, you engage her curiosity- and she’ll think “why didn’t you ask her out like every other guy has done”…… or…….. “why didn’t you hit on her when she looked especially attractive”…..or….. “what’s wrong with her, and what is so great about you- that you don’t want her.”

Reversing the dynamic puts you on the pedestal and engages her interest. When it becomes clear to her that you’re dating many other beautiful women, she’ll begin to wonder why her value is so low relative to all of the other women. This will activate her competitive side and get her to chase you, hence – never allowing her to put you in the friendzone.

It’s a subconscious comparison process that all people do. And when used as a tool, it can positively influence your outcomes. By harnessing the power of relativity, you can increase your own social value and get her to shift her thinking of you as just a friend into hot damn I want that guy.

When you finally give in to her desires she’ll feel that she has defeated all of the other women you were dating. This makes her feel that she’s at the highest value, and that you are her prize.

By dating the other women you create the very real situation where the woman of your dreams has to compete for you. In fact, regardless of what happens with her, all of the women you date will feel the same way- naturally setting them in competition with one another.

This is not something you need to talk about excessively. Women can feel when your energy is focused on more than one of them. And they like it of course, but they’ll never tell you that.

Stack the cards in your favor, and you’ll never have to figure out how to escape the friendzone again.

I hope you guys enjoyed my video and blog regarding how to avoid the friendzone. If you continue to struggle with this, or have another specific dating issue you’d like to discuss privately with me- go ahead and book a Skype dating coach consultation on my calendar. I can help you build a strategy toward finding a girlfriend, a wife, or just help you get better at dating.

Also, keep up the good work because You Deserve the Perfect Woman.

With Love,


avoiding the friend zone




A San Francisco Dating Coach

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