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22 Qualities of a Good Man

Understanding the qualities of a good man is crucial when choosing a life partner.

It’s easy to fall in love with a man who is love-bombing you into infatuation.

He brings you flowers, picks you up from work, insists on meeting the family, and wants to spend every waking minute with you.



That sounds nice and all, but even ostensibly good signs can be bad ones.

To be more mindful of what a good man looks like and how he behaves, let’s focus on the 23 qualities good men have.

On your next date or in your current relationship, look for these qualities. If the man who insists on taking you out this Friday doesn’t have nearly half of them, it may be time to MegaDate.

Top Qualities of a Good Man

Both men and women tend to like sparkly things. A tall, dark, handsome man walks into a bar with the jawline of Adonis and woody cologne, and we’re willing to overlook his less-than-desirable qualities.

It’s easy to get distracted.

It’s fine that he’s caught your eye, but be mindful of the more important qualities you want in a lifelong partner.

top qualities you want in a man

1) Kindness

The pretty face will fade. He’ll eventually stop riding a motorcycle, put down the guitar, and when that happens what’s left?

Kindness will last a lifetime.

You want the type of man who will comfort you, support you, be kind to servers, and treat others with respect. Kindness towards others early on in a relationship is a waving green flag.

2) Thoughtful

Impulsivity is nice when you’re young.



Impulsivity results in spontaneous trips to the nearest national park, stolen kisses, and, yes, sometimes broken bones. But when you’re older you prefer to have a man who takes a moment before he opens his mouth. We prefer a man who does something not because he’ll get something in return but because he genuinely likes us.

Thoughtfulness is a sign of empathy and maturity, both traits that emotionally stable and marriage-material men have.

3) Good Listener

One of the biggest indications that a relationship will last is if you feel valued. 

If you were to tell me that you don’t feel respected and valued by the man you’re seeing I’d bet that it’s only a matter of time before the relationship ends. One of the easiest ways to feel valued and cared for is by having your man actively listen to you.

If he is really listening, he’ll ask follow-up questions, look you in the eyes when you speak, he’ll nod, and most importantly, he’ll remember what you say.

When we talk about the qualities of a good man, it can’t be overstated how important being a good listener is when building a long-term relationship.

qualities of a good man

4) Caring

You know what’s sexy? A man that gives no fucks about how our day was… said no emotionally stable female in the history of ever.

A caring man is a man who you need to invite to meet your parents.

This of course isn’t a female thing, is a human thing. If we’re not being cared by the person we’re investing all our love in, we’re investing in a relationship that has an expiration date.

To live a long-lasting and fulfilling life we need a partner who cares about our wellbeing.

5) Passion

Even I can admit that life can get stale sometimes.



Between routines and 9 to 5s, sometimes it feels like we need an electrical shock to wake us up.

But for some, a shock to the system can’t wake them from their monotony. Some men are content with ending every day with a five-hour binge in front of the TV.

Look, I get you may not be looking for a man who reads a book every week, runs marathons, has his own charity, and still has time to be present with the kids. But it’s nice to have a man with a thirst for life.

Maybe he has no time-consuming hobbies, but he’s passionate about his children, family, you, or about certain topics of conversation. Whatever the case, it’s more seamless to have highly gratifying relationships with men with at least an inkling of passion than their passionless counterparts.

6) Driven

Who doesn’t love an ambitious man?

Who doesn’t love a man with plans, goals, and a bucket list that involves you and him taking a cruise together through the Amazon?

Being allergic to complacency is sexy. However, this can be a double-edged sword. Hopefully, him being driven professionally or in his hobbies doesn’t come between you and him or you and the family. But let’s not worry about that just now. Just be excited about your upcoming date.

qualities of a good man

7) Healthy

You are what you eat, you also are who you date.

Chances are you two will absorb one another’s traits a little bit.

If he never works out, hates yoga, and only eats vegetables every time you visit his parents, chances are you’ll also pick up some bad habits. Healthy people are happy people.



But when we talk about health, we’re talking about more than exercise and a healthy diet.

Is he mentally healthy? 

This isn’t to say that you should ditch him if he’s struggling. We all are dealing with our stuff. That being said a history of mental illness or an ongoing struggle with mental health might be a turn-off for you. You may not want to strike up a relationship with someone who has been struggling for a while now.

8) Balanced

On of the most important qualities of a good man is when he’s balanced – meaning he has self control.

He’s not spending every day re-watching The Office, doesn’t run a marathon every week, and tries his best to be home by 6 from work.

He lives in moderation. Sure maybe it’s not sexy, but it’s what long-term relationships need to survive. A consistently burning flame is better than one that threatens to melt down the home before nearly sputtering out.

9) Underestimates and Over-delivers

It’s awesome being promised the moon, but it sucks when he then takes you to Naples, Florida, as opposed to Naples, Italy.

Instead, how about a guy who underestimates but over-delivers?

A man who makes promises he doesn’t only keep but chooses not to play with your emotions by promising more than he can deliver.

10) Solid Relationship With The Fam

Specifically with his mother.

Can you imagine yourself being with a man who’s nasty to his perfectly loveable mother?

How he treats his mother says a lot about how he treats and thinks about women in general.



If he has a crap relationship with his mom, chances are he doesn’t have great relationships with women. See the signs now rather than regret it later.

qualities of a good man

11) Lots of Long-Standing Friendships

Does this guy have a forest of friends? I’m talking about relationships that he’s cultivated for years and, as a consequence, now has at least a few very solid relationships.

A man who can hold down friends is just as important as a man who can hold down a job.

If he’s the kind of person other people have been voluntarily choosing to surround themselves with for years, chances are you might join the crew. Not to mention that if you like his, chances are you’ll like his friends and will be happy to gain admittance into his forest of strong, gratifying relationships.

12) Has Hobbies

You want a man who has a thirst for life.

A guy who does things, things like birding, plays board games, bikes, jogs, and enjoys life.

A man who comes home only to scroll on IG for hours isn’t a human, he’s a product.

Men who have hobbies are active, down to do things, and interesting.

Again, you are who you date. If you date a boring guy, be warned that boredom is contagious.

13) Good Relationships With Kids

Do you want kids or already have them yourself?

If so, this is one of the most important questions you can ask yourself.

If the man you’re dating isn’t a kid person this may be a dealbreaker for you. But on the flip side, if he’s gung-ho about kids, loves his nephews and little cousins, and maybe even coaches youth sports, you’ve found yourself a keeper.



14) Empathetic

A lack of empathy is a sign of psychopathy. 

Now I don’t want to scare you or jump to conclusions. Just because a man isn’t as empathetic as you may want doesn’t mean he’s incapable of remorse or connecting with other humans.

But having a partner with empathy is a game changer. An empathetic partner is someone who makes you feel valued, seen, and heard.

He’s someone you can confide in, bond with, and connect with on a much deeper level than someone with a shallower pool of empathy.

best qualities of a man

15) Open-minded

Who doesn’t want to be with someone willing and open to expand their perspective?

An open-minded man is not judgemental, he’s thoughtful, kinder, smarter, more curious, and vastly more interesting than his narrow-minded counterpart.

16) Friendly With Wait Staff

You won’t see him interact with many people early on in the relationship. You won’t know how he is with family, friends, or co-workers after a couple of dates.

You will, however, see him interact with servers and restaurant workers. So how does he treat them? Does he think because they’re paid to serve that, he can treat them any way he wants?

17) Good Tipper

We all know tipping culture is a bit confusing right now, and most of us are fatigued.

Maybe he’s not always tipping for a coffee, but he damn well better tip when you two go to a restaurant. If he’s not paying at least 15%, something is a bit off. Maybe he’s short on cash (in which case maybe you two shouldn’t be going to a sit-down restaurant) or maybe he just believes servers are under him and that he need not tip them.

18) He Talks Positively About His Exes

If your new partner has had a bad experience with an ex, fine, it happens. But if it seems like he talks poorly about his exes every time he opens his mouth, well, then maybe there’s an issue with him, not them.



An emotionally stable man with a healthy attachment style has a track record of healthy relationships. If he’s only had negative ones maybe he’s not the stable man you thought he was.

19) Takes Responsibility for His Actions

This is a sign that he’s a real man.

A real man will do what he says he’ll do, he’ll stick up for his lady, and be true to his word.

20) Securely Attached

An attachment style is defined as how you interact with romantic partners. Those with healthy attachment styles treat their partners with respect, give them space when needed, and love them in a healthy and sustainable way.

Then there are those with anxious and avoidant attachment styles. 

These people have unhealthy attachment styles that were formed in their youth and can impact their relationships. How he behaves in the early stages of the relationship will tell you a lot about his type of attachment style.

21) Good Communicator

I don’t just mean he can talk about a variety of subjects; more so, this pertains to him being able to talk about the hard stuff in an under-control and respectful fashion.

No one wants to date the guy who can’t express himself or who shies away from difficult conversations (or even worse, the guy that bulldozes).

best qualities of a man

22) Values Your Thoughts and Opinions

We all want respect.

We want it among friends and in the office, but more than anything, we want to be respected and valued in our own homes.

Being made to feel lesser than with your partner, someone who should feel at home, is not the ingredient you need for a lasting relationship.

23) Finding A High-Quality Man

Finding someone with all the qualities of a good man isn’t something that comes easy.

You may need to work for it.



The best and quickest way to find a man you vibe with is to proactively date, in other words, it’s to MegaDate.

MegaDating is all about dating various people at the same time to diffuse energy, increase confidence, and most importantly to compare and contrast potential partners before making a decision as to who to date. 

It’s a shortcut to finding a compatible partner. Instead of settling for someone who feels just good enough, by sampling all the flavors your city has to offer, you’ll more accurately be able to shack up with a partner you genuinely love.

So what does MegaDating look like in practice?

It looks like 20 dates in 90 days. That means going on a date every 4.5 days. 

It takes a bit of effort to find your ideal man.

We can show you how to do it faster.

Dating Decoded

Here’s how to find a man who checks off all the qualities you want in a high-quality partner.

We teach our students the shortcut to finding their ideal match by MegaDating.

MegaDating is the dating strategy that shapes everything we do and teach at emlovz. We believe the best way to find a high-quality man is to date with intention and with the mind of a researcher. We’ll help you comb through the singles in your area to find and court a man you could see yourself settling down with forever.

If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.



Here’s how our students’ dating lives have changed since enrolling.

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