I have a question for you.

What’s your favorite food? Could it be lobster or Ben & Jerry’s ice cream? What about a classic slice of NY pizza or pastor tacos with a slice of pineapple on top? 

The answer doesn’t really concern me, all I want to know is that you do in fact have a favorite. Now tell me. How did you discover your favorite food? Did you fall in love with the first food you ever ate (i.e. probably Gerber’s or breast milk)? Or did you try various foods, ever dethroning your previous favorite in favor of an even more delectable food? The act of donning something new with a superlative is an ever-changing process. As we live we find new bands, foods, and people that we can call our favorites. This same exercise of finding a new favorite also takes place in our love lives. Well, at least it would if you decided to date more than one person. 

You don’t say the first movie you ever watched or the first team you ever cheered for is your favorite, would you? Why isn’t this the case when it comes to women? The logic behind the decision to not date around is the thought that you can’t possibly find another woman that’s as good as the girl you’re currently dating. This is the scarcity dilemma. We tend to invest more heavily in the person we have a romantic bond with because we fear that if that bond is severed, we won’t be able to develop another. To get over this fear you’ll need to start dating more than one person. 

MegaDating, or dating more than one person, comes with a range of benefits. Before we tackle the benefits, let’s address the embryonic elephant in the room. To you -and to her- simultaneously dating multiple women may sound sleazy. Let’s destroy this stigma. The reason you MegaDate isn’t in order to sexually conquer as many women in your city as possible. It’s not to make up for lost time or prove your manhood to anybody. My clients choose to MegaDate because they’re tired of waiting for “the one.” Let’s go back to food for a moment.

Let’s say that you were tasked with finding out which hot sauce you like most. Instead of waiting for your current bottle of hot sauce to run out before buying a new one, you’d run to the store and buy up every hot sauce they have in stock. MegaDating works in the same way. Instead of waiting around for your goal to be achieved, MegaDating truncates the amount of time needed to achieve the goal of entering into a meaningful relationship. My clients don’t MegaDate because they’re libertines, they MegaDate because they want love and this is the quickest path to finding it.  

Now that you don’t feel like a slime-ball for asking out two strangers from Tinder in the same week that you matched with while emptying your innards in the bathroom, it’s time to explore the benefits of dating more than one person at the same time. 

Benefits of Dating More Than One Person 1. Compare & Contrast Different Suitors

Invariably, when you go through a breakup, your more cliche-inclined friend will tell you that there “are plenty of fish in the sea.” It’s true. But a quandary takes place when you set out to fish without a rod. MegaDating will equip you with that fishing rod. 

Acknowledging and experiencing the many fish of the sea will deter you from settling. It’s easier to let go of a woman when you have a date around the corner. Dating multiple women will help you figure out what your ideal woman looks like. You might find that you’re most attracted to Jennie’s sense-of-humor, but you also prefer Sadie’s thoughtfulness. You like that Paige is the most intelligent but also love Dakota’s sense of chill.

You’ll see strengths in all of the women you date, which will show you experientially what you value most in a partner. There are thousands of romantic options out there. But the only way you’ll know which woman is right for you is by interacting with a range of women. 

2. Increases Your Confidence

There’s nothing like having five dates lined up for the next two weeks to boost a dude’s confidence. Dating prolifically will change the way you view yourself. At one time you would’ve spent your Saturday nights with the boys or watching a sports game that you have no interest in. Nowadays you’re filling up your calendar with dates with women that you met online, in the park, at yoga class, etc. 

Confidence is the best suit you can wear. With it, you’re more likely to take risks, open up, crack jokes, and ultimately get the girl. This confidence will present itself in all aspects of your life, but chiefly when on dates. Fact, women are attracted to confident dudes. Use this newfound confidence -that’s right I said confidence, not cockiness- to score numbers, forms bonds, and meet your new girlfriend. 

3. You’ll Learn A Lot About Rejection

You can’t win them all -even if you could would you want to? Becoming the god that every woman you meet worships isn’t a superpower. A more manageable -yet admittedly not so cool- superpower is the ability to withstand rejection. It’s the ability to take risks, get shotted down, and move on. Everyone remembers their first rejection, but no one remembers their 50th. Through practice, you won’t become emotionally numb to rejection, you’ll just learn how to move forward in a healthy and timely manner. 

Those with this superpower in their emotional arsenal are equipped to achieve their romantic goals. When rejection becomes a blimp in your fear radar, applying to grad school, interviewing for a job, or striking up a conversation with a beautiful woman become mundane events. 

If you’re attempting to turn rejection into more of a slap in the face instead of a punch, you don’t just have to get rejected by women to make that shift happen. Jia Jiang is an entrepreneur and founder of Rejection Therapy. For 100 days he asked people fairly odds requests, everything from asking to be a sentient manikin to requesting to work for a company for just one day. The goal behind the experiment was to get over his fear of rejection. By the end of the experiment, he realized that one’s ability to handle rejection isn’t an innate skill, it’s malleable. Every form of rejection you receive will help strengthen your ability to deal with and move on from being turned down.

4. Decreases Anxiety 

Exposure therapy is how psychologists treat patients with anxiety. The therapy is pretty straightforward. In a safe environment, a patient is tasked with confronting the source of their anxiety. When you’re dating more than one person, you’re engaging in a form of exposure therapy.

Maybe you don’t have an anxiety of women, but every man is at least a little afraid before a first date. Mitigate this anxiety by dating different women every week. Now, a date in the wild (i.e. a cafe or park) isn’t exactly the safe environment in which psychologists employ exposure therapy to their patients. This is much more a heavy metal exposure therapy. And while it seems daunting, with each date that dread will slowly dissipate. 

5. Fills Up Your Social Calendar 

There are two sides to this benefit. 

One awesome thing about keeping your social calendar full with hot dates is that it’s full of hot dates! You’re not surfing Goodreads trying to figure out which book to read next or 7-hours deep in a Netflix binge -no, you’re out on the town getting your hands wet with life’s sweet nectar. That’s right, the cliches are coming, you’ve only got one life! As much as it pains me to say it, freaking YOLO.

What would your 13-year-old self prefer? To see the grown-up version of yourself in the midst of a Twilight binge with Cheetos crumbs all over his shirt on a Friday night or you cracking jokes and flirting with a vivacious woman as you hold hands and walk the boardwalk? Live up to your boyhood expectations and get out there. 

6. It’s Fun

Every person you meet while you’re in the dating phase presents a new opportunity for adventure and experience. If I hadn’t been on 101 dates with 52 different men, I wouldn’t have had so many disparate experiences. I wouldn’t know about the Vedas, I wouldn’t have learned about Muslim culture, cricket, or Tunisia. I’d have no idea what it’s like to date a father, an Asian man, a chef, a professional baseball player, or a security guard. I wouldn’t have explored new places, tasted new foods or have been educated on a variety of different cultures. Those experiences and the lessons they taught me would not exist. 

So tell me. Which would you prefer -watching baseball with your roommate or an adventure with a new babe? 

7. It’ll Increase Your Leverage

When a woman looks at a man, the first thing she sees is his face. Next to his face, she sees a checklist. On this list, there are a number of traits. Handsome, wealthy, funny, and confident are all adjectives that have been stamped onto this list. Here’s the thing. When you MegaDate, you suddenly begin to check off more and more of these boxes. 

Confidence, now you’ve got that in bucketloads. Humor, you’ve been practicing your material with dozens of women and it’s fair to say that it’s improved. Whether you know it or not, you’ve climbed the ranks and now are the type of guy that women would want to post a photo on their Instagram with. 

Your busy schedule makes you less available, your new look has you fresh, and your ability to make a woman feel heard and safe is unparalleled. Understand that your stock has gone up and leverage the new you to find a woman that can handle your awesomeness.

8. It Puts You In Control Of Your Destiny

When you’re not dating, you tend to fill in that free time with fantasies. You’ll create the perfect woman and envision her striking up a conversation with you as you’re at your favorite local cafe reading Love In The Time Of Cholera. A barren love life will lead you to revert back to a state of Disney love. Disney love is the fantastical love that children are force-fed into believing. The kind of love that whimsically lands on your shoulder like a butterfly when you’re least expecting it. 

Stop it. Stop it now. 

This isn’t how it works. Soul mates don’t exist, cartoons are poor romantic models, and Angelina and Brad Pritt are never getting back together! Dating more than one person takes away the abstract untouchableness of destiny and makes it tangible. Controlled destiny might not be as romantic as the destiny we see in Hollywood, but with this version of destiny you’ll be able to write the script to your own love story. 

Conclusion

Now that the benefits of dating more than one person have been outlined, dating around seems pretty awesome. But there’s something sinister that can screw everything up; dishonesty. When she asks if you’re seeing anyone else, don’t lie. Don’t plant a seed of dishonesty that will fester and eventually ruin everything later on. Let her into your dating philosophy. Should your dating life be broached, make her privy to your style and elaborate on your reasons why. 

It’s great that you’re a proponent of MegaDating, but there’s just one problem, you don’t have any dates. I can help you with that. MegaDating is a single man’s fantasy, but with my help, it can be your new life. We’ll start the transition with a 1-on-1 Skype session. In it, we’ll discuss your goals and put you on a 3-month game-plan that will culminate with dates falling left and right like apples dropping from apple trees in autumn.