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I Got Rejected By a Girl I Asked Out, How Do I Overcome Her Objection?

I Got Rejected By a Girl I Asked Out, How Do I Overcome Her Objection?

“She rejected me,” it’s a sentence that you never want to find yourself uttering, but the truth is we all get turned down when it comes to the dating world. So what do you do when you ask a woman out and she says no? Do you try again or do you take it as a total rejection?

Getting rejected from a girl can feel like an absolute gut-punch. You worked up the courage to put yourself out there with someone you liked, practiced how you were going to ask her out, and that mustering of courage ended in a “no, thank you.” Getting rejected can make you want to avoid asking women out altogether.

But here’s the thing. Getting rejected — and, more importantly, learning how to handle rejection from someone you like — is an integral part of growth and ultimately crushing your dating goals.

When you really, really, really like a girl, getting up the nerve to ask her out on a date can be a big challenge and more than a little disheartening. But all hope does not have to be lost. Although you will need to accept a rejection if a girl is completely uninterested, there are strategies you can use to overcome her rejection and potentially start toward a path toward a relationship.

Strategy #1: Always Try Three Times

getting rejected

The third time truly can be the charm when it comes to dating. If she doesn’t respond to you or has an excuse for not being able to go on a date with you, wait a few days and then try again.

If — once again — she doesn’t respond to you or has yet another reason for not going out with you, give it one more try.

There are a few exceptions to the “try three times” rule:

If she is adamant about not dating you and clearly states that she’s not romantically interested, respect that.

If she seems really irritated by your persistence, quit asking her out in order to avoid entering creeper territory.

If she is mean to you when you ask her out, move on.

If she is married, in a relationship or legally separated, DO NOT ASK HER OUT.

Strategy #2: Anticipate Objections

getting rejected

No matter who you are, rejections are going to happen in the dating world. But consider getting rejected a good thing because, like they say, practice makes perfect.

Anticipating objections when you ask a girl out on a date will lessen the pain of rejection (i.e., when you go in with that expectation the blow won’t be so hard) and will also help you improve your strategy.

Sometimes objections will be a simple “I can’t hang out tonight,” or something specific, like “I have a friend’s baby shower that day and then I’m visiting my parents.”

Regardless of the reason, anticipate the objection and then work to overcome it.

Strategy #3: Make the Date Sound Super Compelling

When you craft compelling date ideas, it makes it more difficult for a woman to reject you because you’re giving her an option that appeals to her interests.

In order for a date to be compelling it must:

Speak to her specific interests and personality.

Offer a new experience for her based on those interests.

Use a TDL.

A TDL is an acronym for Time, Date and Location. It’s also what we here at emlovz use to refer to the call-to-action when it comes to asking a girl out on a date.

When you use a TDL, you decrease your chances of rejection by giving a woman specifics about the who, what, when and how of the date so she won’t have to worry about going back-and-forth with you about when to meet or be part of the planning process.

Women love chivalry, and using a TDL shows that you’re being considerate of her time and have been paying attention to her interests.

Let’s say the girl you want to go on a date with is a big fan of penguins and there’s going to be a rare Gentoo penguin exhibit at your local zoo. You could present the date this way:

“Hey, Sarah. I know you’re a big penguin fan and there’s going to be a Gentoo penguin exhibit at the zoo this weekend. I was thinking we could go together date-style on Saturday at 2 pm. You game?”

This offers her something that would be a brand new experience that aligns with her interests and gives her an exact time, place and day of the week. It’s pretty difficult to say no to that.

Strategy #4: Make a List of Objection Handling Responses Beforehand

Like I said, be prepared for her to say no to you. Sometimes she will say no and not give a reason or there could be a scheduling conflict.

Regardless, have a list of responses you can use to overcome her rejection. Think of other things she might be interested in doing and have dates, times and locations for those things in your back pocket.

Here are a few examples of responses you can use to hopefully turn her “no” into a “yes”:

“No worries, I understand you’re busy. What days and times would work best for you?”

“There’s [insert other compelling dating ideas here] happening on Wednesday or [insert yet another compelling date idea here] on the following Saturday if you’re down.”

The best times for a first date is Saturdays during the day (between 11 am and 2 pm), followed by Wednesdays and Thursdays. Picking a daytime date, as well as one that is close to where she lives, will make a woman more likely to say yes because she will feel safer than if you picked something late at night and far away.

Strategy #5: Reverse Her Expectations

getting rejected

Even if you have to fake it, keep calm and exude confidence when she rejects you. Not only will this eliminate any awkwardness, you will come off as more appealing to her when you reverse her expectations. People usually expect some type of upset when rejecting someone, and when you show her you can roll with the punches, it will surprise her and may even make her reconsider turning you down.

This same reversal works when it comes to sexual intimacy. I recommend that my clients always wait until at least the third date before having sex and doing so actually escalates sexual tension and increases your chances of finding a compatible, long-term partner.

For example, at the end of the first date, if a girl says something like, “Do you want to come in?” at her door, you can say something like, “I’d like to, but I’m not the type of guy to get intimate before getting to know someone.”

By reversing her expectations this way, you stand out from other guys and are also showing that you’re selective, which is very desirable.

In a situation where you get rejected, if the rejection comes because the woman thinks you’re a player or says something like, “I’m sure you have no problem getting women,” use this strategy.

Say something like, “I’m not like other guys, I’m looking for something that’s real, not just a bunch of hookups,” or, “I’m not like other guys — I’m social, but I’m also selective.”

Strategy #6: MegaDate

One of the best dating strategies you can use when it comes to overcoming and avoiding rejection is MegaDating. MegaDating is the strategy I coined during my 100-date experiment. It’s what led me to a long-term, satisfying relationship and it can do the same for you!

MegaDating is a dating process that involves going on dates with several different women at the same time. When you MegaDate, your confidence increases and the pain of rejection is lessened significantly. This is because you are constantly seeing the reality of the dating world — there is plenty of fish in the sea, and there’s no point in getting hung up on one person when you’re single.

MegaDating can also make a woman reconsider her rejection and be more privy to accepting a subsequent invitation when you follow the “try three times” rule. The reason for this is that MegaDating unconsciously stimulates a sense of competition in your potential partners. Women see you going out on dates with a variety of women and that gives you more leverage in the dating field. Remember, this is leverage and not “tricks.” You’re not sneaking around, but you are showing your worth by not holding out or settling for a woman who wants you to chase her or isn’t willing to give you a chance.

Using this strategy can help you overcome an objection when asking her out because she will see that you are not the type to chase her or get fixated on her. As your calendar is filled by MegaDating, a sense of competition will be unconsciously stimulated in your potential partners.

Moving on To Crush Your Dating Goals

When it comes to things like rejection, what do you think that your specific roadblocks are? My team and I would love to talk to you about it and help you overcome this challenge so you can crush your dating goals and find a healthy, long term relationship. 

We here at emlovz offer full service coaching and matchmaking programs to help you reach your relationship goals so you can move on living your life. 

Our coaching programs are 3 months in duration and held in both private and group based formats. 

For those who don’t have the time to dedicate to sourcing their own dates, that’s where our date concierge matchmaking services come in. Let our matchmakers set you up with 6 or 12 matches in no more than 4 months. 

If you want to know how our services work in more detail, then head over to our calendar and book a new client Zoom session with me or one of my colleagues today. 

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