The signs weren’t there to be read. Without an inkling to forecast what was about to happen, your lady abruptly cut you off. No texts, calls, DMs, or even Twitter likes. Your relationship has been severed both IRL and digitally. Naturally, you’re asking yourself, “why is she ignoring me all of a sudden?” I don’t know the nuances of your relationship, but I have my theories.
There are two distinct categories these seemingly unrequited lovers fall into. There are those that you are dating and those (particularly friends) that you want to date. It’s in these categories that we will examine what went wrong.
Think logically before feeling down about why she’s ignoring you or might not like you at all. Some women just take longer to answer texts than others –is this the woman you’re dating? Abstaining from responding to texts for a few hours means she’s busy. Not responding to messages for multiple days means that she’s ignoring you.
Why Is She Ignoring Me All Of A Sudden: Before You’ve Been Intimate (Friends Only)
Retrace Your Steps
It should be easier to read your friend than a stranger that you’ve gone on a few dates with. Try to remember the specific moment when the relationship changed. Was it you that triggered the change? Did a wanton comment make it past your censors and onto the dining room table?
Is it possible that she was jarred when you tried to heat things up (maybe you were a bit too early)? Transitioning from being a friend to a romantic interest can easily throw a wrench in any relationship. She may want her space so that she doesn’t make any rash decisions that ultimately damage the relationship.
If you’re reading this article and she was prompted to not talk to you due to something you did, then it’s likely that your comment/behavior/action wasn’t perceived by you to be something that warranted being muted. Comb through your past interactions to look for the moment when everything changed.
Maybe It’s Her, Not You
Let’s consider for a moment that she hasn’t stopped talking to you as a consequence of your actions. Does her life as of recent seem fairly hectic? Did she mention that work lately has been out of control? Perhaps it isn’t work at all that’s tied her up but instead another relationship. Perhaps a family member or friend passed away. Or maybe she’s infatuated with a guy and has recently been spending every free minute with him.
If it’s a friend that’s ignoring you, ask around within your shared friend circle to find out if something is up with her. If she’s in need of some emotional support it might be a good idea to keep pressing for details. The only time when it might be necessary to give her space is if you behaved inappropriately. In this case, apologize, explain your actions (if you can), and wait.
Why Is She Ignoring Me All of a Sudden: When You’re Actually Dating Her
When She’s Ignoring You After the 1st Date?
The initial stages of the dating process is the most delicate period of the relationship. One slip-up and she’ll feel no ill-will when she ghosts you. This is why it’s vital that you follow the MegaDating blueprint. Briefly, I’ll outline the critical aspects of a first date when adhering to the MD blueprint.
- Duration of 60 minutes or less
- Spend no more than $10
- Make physical contact at least three times
- Close for a second date with a TDL (we’ll get to that shortly)
Refusing to touch her and set up a second date on the spot sends mixed signals. If she thinks you’re not into her she won’t waste time trying to convert a stranger into a lover. What was her body language informing you of during the date? Reading non-verbal cues can give you valuable information that can’t be gleaned through verbal communication.
Why Is She Ignoring Me After The Second Date?
A second date should be both physical and free. Setting up a second date in such a way allows for two things to happen. It allows the conversation to revolve around the activity and for touching to occur naturally. Running, rock climbing, playing tennis, or any other heart-pumping activity will mimic the same sensation one feels when they’re aroused and excited.
Rather than sharing a couple of drinks in a bar, a physical second date gives you two the opportunity to bond over shared participation in an activity. Doing things outside of the norm together such as riding bikes or playing volleyball at the beach can accelerate a bond in ways that chatting over a couple of cocktails just can’t.
As if it wasn’t clear already, the primary goal of a second date should be to create sexual tension. Touch her frequently and naturally. Each touch carries a certain message. Placing a hand on her lower back is far more sexual than one on her shoulder. Be aware of the tactile messages you’re sending. Read her non-verbal cues to understand whether or not these touches are appreciated.
Just a couple of overly aggressive touches could be enough to send her running. But on the flip side, too few touches could have her believe that you’re not interested in her. Find the right balance of physical contact and ask her the right sort of questions.
Be certain to end the date with a TDL (time, date, location). Asking her out before the date comes to a close leaves nothing up in the air. You make your feelings for her known by requesting her presence in the future. Waiting a few days after a date to contact the woman you’ve been seeing is a callow game. Make your feelings known by locking down a third date in person by telling her where, at what time, and what date the next date will occur.
Why Is She Ignoring Me After The Third Date?
The third date typically marks a sexual turn in the nature of the relationship. The first two dates are a time when you two are feeling each other out. After meeting twice you two have a much better idea of how you feel about the other and what kind of romantic trajectory you’re on.
The relationship is bound to fall short if there’s been little sexual touching up to this point. Even if she wants to continue seeing you but needs to be sexual to do so, it’s unlikely that she’ll broach the conversation. Depending on your relationship she may not feel comfortable voicing her sexual needs so early on in the relationship. She’s more likely to seek out other partners that can please her instead of engaging in a potentially uncomfortable conversation. This is why touch is so important on the first two dates.
Why Is She Ignoring Me After Dating For A Couple Months?
Ignoring you all of a sudden after dating for a few months is odd. If you can think of nothing in your behavior that warranted such a response, the reason could be a bit harder to grasp.
Perhaps only after months of dating she’s been exposed to the real you. She’s been to your house, has met your friends and family, and is familiar with your habits and goals for the future. After throwing all these variables into her relationship calculator she has computed that you two aren’t compatible. After coming to this realization she might be too scared to break up in person, so she opts to ghost you.
If you desire closure, get in touch with her and request that you two talk about what went wrong. Be understanding of her decision to end the relationship and make it known that you respect her decision. Asking for closure will help the relationship come to a close in a healthy manner. Talking about what went wrong will also give you the opportunity to understand how you can improve your next relationship.
Opting to sever communication rather than discuss what went wrong tells you quite a lot about her attachment style. If she can’t give you a good reason for wanting to end the relationship, it’s possible that she has an avoidant attachment style.
Those with such an attachment style tend to axe relationships before they become too serious. Such a style is developed due to losses and traumas during one’s childhood.
What You Can Do About It
The best way to get over a woman that has snubbed you –merited or not- is to MegaDate. When you MegaDate, you won’t have time to ask yourself, “why is she ignoring me all of a sudden” because your week will be so stacked with dates.
It’s easy to get over someone when you have lovely ladies waiting for you. Men tend to pine more over women that have snubbed them when they have a scarcity mindset. With this mindset dictating mentality, the loss of a romantic interest will hurt twice as much as before. MegaDating allows you to not put all your eggs in one basket. It will give you something else to look forward to. Another boon of MD is that becoming a prolific dater will sharpen your dating ability thus decreasing the chances of being rejected in the future.
To understand the intricate ins and outs of MegaDating, schedule a New Client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. During our session we can talk about why she’s ignoring you and how you can use MegaDating to your advantage in the future. We’ll also section time to discuss your dating history, co-create an action plan, and spend the last few minutes determining if my 3 month Signature coaching program is right for you!