She Says She’s Not Ready To Date, What Now?
Brad Pitt is the only man that has never been romantically rejected.
To be fair, I don’t know this for a fact, but one look at that jawline tells me there’s a 99.99% chance I’m not wrong.
As sure as I am in his lack of rejections I’m also sure that 99.99% of men have been rejected.
Look, sometimes being not Brad Pitt sucks.
But being that you can’t change this you best adapt.
Without perfect gold locks to shield you against rejection, it’s inevitable that one day she’ll tell you she’s not ready to date. When this day comes (or if it’s come already) how will you react?
If you can’t exactly answer that question, no worries.
I have ideas that might help you out.
She Says She’s Not Ready To Date
Give Her Space
Something isn’t working.
I know that because you’re here.
If things aren’t going your way it’s time to make a change, but what change should you make?
Ask yourself what you know.
You know that she isn’t read to date. You know that despite going out a few times she isn’t ready to get serious. Sure you two may have rapidly built a romantic relationship, but the quickness in which your feelings were cultivated isn’t a sign she wants to date you. Let’s not forget that you’re not in her head. You can’t hook her mind up to your TV and understand exactly what she’s thinking. Things might be more unrequited than you think.
But before I start stuffing your mind with possibilities, here’s what you do.
Giving her space benefits you in two ways.
For one, it raises your value and makes you appear more attractive.
This is the classic push-pull method. When you push her away, she’ll want to pull you right back. Just because she doesn’t want to date you doesn’t mean she’s done with you. Let a week or two go by without hitting her up. She’ll wonder why you haven’t reached out. She may wonder if there’s another woman in your life and why she’s no longer a priority. Let her feelings percolate until she reaches out to you.
The other benefit of giving her space has nothing to do with her.
Look, men (and yes, women too) have a tendency of quickly becoming infatuated with new flings. When we do this, our entire waking lives become wrapped up in this other person. As a result, you may have stopped going to poker Friday, having dinner with your folks on Sunday, or engaging in the old hobbies you used to love.
Take this time to realize and appreciate that you have a nuanced life outside of your romantic relationships. Do so by filling up your social calendar. A happy byproduct of reconnecting with family and friends is that they help fill the emotional and social void left when you stopped talking to the woman in question.
Focus On You And Your Goals
This woman isn’t the one.
Even though it feels that way it isn’t the case. The one doesn’t exist. The one is a romantic unicorn that haunts the nightmares of unrequited men. It’s a make-believe marketing scheme used to persuade you into buying flowers, chocolate, and reading Nicholas Sparks.
Even if she is your soulmate, she wouldn’t want you incessantly breathing down her neck.
No woman needs an anxiously attached guy who isn’t even their BF.
Instead of romantic tunnel vision, focus on you.
Engage in new and old hobbies, start working out, pick up new skills, focus on your career, connect with old friends as well as make new ones.
Dating and women are only one facet of life. Make them the center of your universe and you’ll never again be able to live without their affection.
If you’re afraid you’ll never find anyone else (because dating apps are such a challenge) hire a coach or matchmaker, like us, to set you up. Be creative with how you meet your next woman.
Focusing on yourself instead of obsessing over a woman who’s not ready to date is always the better option. Improving yourself will naturally make you more attractive. Even if the woman you’re currently into can’t appreciate see how you’ve improved, the next woman surely will.
Why Friendzone Her?
The label you assign her determines how you behave.
If she’s a former fling, you forget about her.
If she’s a current fling you obsess.
But if she’s a friend, you allow yourself to swap your romantic feelings for platonic ones.
Relegating her to the friendzone doesn’t mean you’re forgetting about her. In fact, you’re specifically making the choice to keep her in your life. The only difference is the label and as a consequence, your behavior.
This doesn’t mean you two can’t hang out in the same way you used to. You can still ask her out for a drink or for a dance. The difference is that you won’t make any romantic moves. That isn’t to say that romantic moves won’t be made, but if they are, they aren’t coming from you.
Keeping her on the backburners leaves the door open for your relationship to change.
By continuing to get ice cream together and go for hikes she may come around to the idea of dating you.
Don’t convince her that she should be with you through lists, arguments, or pricey dinners.
Instead, friendzone her, continue to hang with her, and then add her on social media and demonstrate how awesome you are so she can see your value.
What should you do with the space you give her?
Of course, you should work on yourself, see friends, and rebuild your social circle. But the only ways to shore up your emotional and social life.
You’ll never completely be able to fill the void left by a romantic relationship with a platonic one.
Only a like for like replacement can fill that void.
The best way to do so is to MegaDate.
MegaDating is simply dating multiple women at the same time.
There are a few crucial benefits of MegaDating.
The first is that it cuts down the time it takes to find a woman worthy of calling your girlfriend. Forget waiting around for Cupid to assault you with an arrow. It’s on you to meet women. The best way to find someone is to date, date, date.
Secondly, MD teaches you that you can find love. Men generally stick around in relationships that are going nowhere for fear that they won’t be able to find someone else. Dating prolifically will prove that theory wrong.
The third reason you should MD is because as it stands you may not feel 100% confident in your dating abilities.
Question: What’s the best way to perfect a skill?
Dating different women every week will quickly hone your dating skills. So what if the last two dates didn’t go well. The upcoming date this Sunday will give you a chance to once again practice your skills and redeem yourself.
When you’re dating multiple women, your energy shifts towards the other women you’re hanging out with. It’s difficult to be all hung up on a woman when various women are occupying headspace.
Just because you have a blueprint that will help you move forward doesn’t mean you’ll take it.
Your response when she says she’s not ready to date will be to push back. To shower her with affection in the attempt to prove that you’re the right man.
This is the opposite direction you should be moving in.
If you feel the urge to pull when she pushes, use this trickery against her. Step back, friendzone her, and start worrying about you. Use this newfound time and space to reconnect with friends and meet new women via MegaDating.
All this can sound like quite the burden. I get that. Going it alone can be rather, well, lonely.
To hold you accountable and help you to get the girl, you’ll need a team behind you.
Let’s talk via a 1-on-1 Zoom session this week so that you can learn about all the ways that we can help you achieve your romantic goals.
Just because she’s not ready to date doesn’t mean your only option is to say woe is me and wait for her.
Take charge of your romantic life by pursuing women, honing your dating skills, and finding a girlfriend worthy of your affection. We’re here to help with plenty of coaching and matchmaking program options.