I recently embarked on a platonic odessey.

20 friend dates in 90 days – the platonic equivalent to my romantic odyssey known as MegaDating.

Over these 90 days, I learned how to make high-quality friends, how to find them, how to nurture a relationship, and how to be a good friend.

As a dating coach, I also couldn’t help but notice the benefits that expanding one’s social circle could have on their dating life. 

How To Make High-Quality Friends

Making amazing friends is a game-changer and I encourage everyone to get out of their comfort zone and start meeting people platonically (and romantically). If you don’t where to start or how to do it, let’s demystify the process by unpacking what I learned about how to make high-quality friends.

But first, let’s talk about why making friends is important while dating and how it can improve your dating life.

How The Platonic Benefits The Romantic

When you’re single and desperate for a GF it’s easy to think that investing in platonic relationships is a waste of time. But bonding with another human is massively helpful when it comes to finding a GF.

The Jim and Pam Situation

Firstly, not all friendships need stay that way.

Some of the best relationships start off as friends, but blossom into romantic relationships.

Just because you two see each other as friends initially doesn’t mean it’ll always be that way.

But a possible romance is far from the only reason to have female friends. As it stands you may not have many female friends or interact with many females. Talking, laughing, and empathizing with female friends will make you a better friend, lover, and overall person.

Your Friends Have Friends

It’s vital to make friends while on the romantic prowl because these people are in your corner. They act as an unofficial team of matchmakers, wingmen, and wingwomen that will help you find your new girlfriend.

Your high-quality friends will introduce you to their social circle and will keep an eye out for single friends to introduce you to.

You Become More Valuable

What does your social calendar look like?

Are you free until Christmas or is your calendar look like a coloring book because you’re so booked up? Women want to date an in-demand man. She wants a guy who has a rich life of his own. She wants a man who has friends, aspirations, hobbies, and a life of his own. When she hears that you can’t do lunch on Sunday because you have paintball plans with friends that makes you look more valuable.

You’re not waiting by the phone for her to text, so if she wants a piece of you she better book you in advance.

Friends Are Just Great For Overall Wellbeing

By now I’m sure you’ve heard of Blue Zones. These are geographical areas where the population tend to live much longer than the average human.

Some Blue Zones include:

• Okinawa, Japan
• Sardinia, Italy
• Loma Linda, California
• Nicoya, Costa Rica

The people in these zones all have a few things in common from their healthy diet to active lifestyle. Another lifestyle that binds them all together is the deep social bonds they have with others. They don’t all have dozens of friends, but they do all have a number of healthy, enriching, and loving friendships that make all the difference to their overall wellbeing.

Blue Zone studies teach us the power of friendship.

To live a longer and better life, hang out with friends more often – it’s that easy.

How To Make High-Quality Friends

Now that we know why making friends is important for you and your love life, let’s dive into how to make high-quality friends.

Reconnect With Old Friends

Forget about new friends – what about old ones?

You have a rolodex full of relationships. Some you see on a weekly basis while others you haven’t seen in months or years. Life sometimes just gets in the way of staying in touch with old friends.

Instead of investing in strangers, why not revive an old friendship? You two already have a liking for one another, now all you need to do is set aside time to rekindle the fire.

Why not reach out and acknowledge that it’s been a while but that you’d like to connect again and catch up. If you two didn’t end things on a sour note they should be delighted to get back in touch.

Prioritize People

How do you spend your weekday nights?

Do you jet back home after work and binge until you’re three hours deep into some reality TV show that’s as bad for your health as smoking?

OR are you the type of person that prioritizes relationships over Netflix?

Prioritizing people means putting yourself out there. It means messaging your friends back on a timely basis, investing in others, helping others, and being a genuine pal. It’s easy to prioritize work, health, fitness, GFs, side projects, and a million other things. But bonding with a friend gives us more pleasure and fulfillment than just about anything else.

Work on cultivating your friendships even if that means sacrificing a lesser desire.

Where Do Your Ideal Friends Hang?

Create the ideal friend in your head right now.

If they’re a funny, caring person who loves basketball, craft beer and travel, where do you think you’d find such a person?

Take a moment to think about who your ideal friend is and where you might find them. Once you have an idea of who they are and where they spend their time, go hunting.

If they’re into basketball, join a men’s league, if they like hiking join a hiking Meetup, and if they like craft beer hang out at your local craft brewery during trivia night.

We always assume that the universe will magically give us what we want. How about instead of manifesting we make our own luck by proactively searching for friends.

Try New Things

Try new things means hanging out with new people, going to places you never thought you’d venture, eating new food, and trying out different lives to see which one you like most.

Being amenable means opening yourself up to new possibilities. How to make high-quality friends is all about making yourself receptive to new people and new things.

If you’ve found yourself closed off and hesitant about trying new things, this is your chance to push your comfort boundaries and get out there.

Say Yes To All Invitations Within A 90-day Period

Yep, basically the plot of Yes Man.

Maybe you’re thinking that you could have more friends if only you got invited out more. Saying yes to all invites within a 90-day window will show you how wanted you are. Quite often it can be our natural response to turn down offers whether they’re from a sketchy person from LinkedIn, from acquaintances, or even from friends.

After saying yes to 90-days (or whatever timeframe you feel comfortable with) you’ll try new experiences, discover what you like and don’t like, and make a ton of connections along the way.

More than anything you’ll be able to refine who you are, what you want in a friend, and see a clear path forward to creating stronger, healthier, more gratifying friendships.

Be Proactive

Saying yes, trying new things, and making new friends is only accomplished when you’re being proactive. That means no more wishing somebody will come along, tap on your shoulder and be your new best friend. It means putting yourself out there, taking chances, and making your own luck.

This is the same strategy that breathes life into our dating philosophy, MegaDating.

Reach Out To People You Admire (And Might Even Be Out Of Your League)

Making friends is easy – making high-quality friends isn’t (always) easy.

High-quality people may frighten you a little bit. They may be better looking, stronger, more successful, and funnier than you are. But what intimidates you about them is precisely what draws you to them and makes you want to befriend them.

My advice: run towards your fear. 

Magic is on the other side of fear. The most rewarding friendships are on the other side of that fear.

Be Positive

Positive people are just more fun to be around.

Smile, be positive, be supportive, and you’ll begin to notice the amount of people flocking to you. Not only will people like you more but you’ll be attracting like-minded people. High-quality friends are healthy of mind, body, and soul. They are positive, happy people, with secure attachment styles.

Rejection Don’t Mean No Thang

We all get rejected (this guy more than others).

It’s just a part of putting yourself out there and living life. If you don’t want to get rejected, don’t try. Don’t attempt to create a better life for yourself if you’re content with never getting rejected. Stay home, watch Netflix, and live a sheltered existence with no lows but also no highs.

Rejection means you’re on the right track. It means you’re chasing your goals. Not getting rejected means you’re playing it safe.

And yes, I know getting rejected can be tough, but you don’t have to take it so hard. Getting rejected doesn’t have to mean you’re not enough. There are a million reasons why you can be rejected by a potential friend OR romantic partner.

Instead, focus on the bright side. That relationship didn’t work, now you know, and now you don’t have to invest in something that wasn’t working out.

Book In Advance

High-quality friends are high-quality people.

They don’t have a ton of downtime. They are en vogue, busy, wanted people.

If you want a little of that quality time with high-quality people you have to schedule out your social time. That means making plans in advance. Don’t wait until the day of to pitch an idea. Get in touch days or even weeks in advance to plan something. When you do ask them to hang, be specific and pitch a cool activity. Don’t just ask them to go to a bar, but pitch going to this amazing new bar with arcade games and 50 different craft brews on tap.

Use Bumble BFF

Of course you know what Bumble is. You’ve probably used it for dating purposes, but did you know you can also use Bumble for professional networking and to meet friends?

Switch your Bumble to Bumble BFF mode. Create a profile and get to swiping.

This is how I met the majority of my friends in my platonic social experiment. It’s easy, quick, and you’re bound to get way more matches via Bumble BFF than Bumble Date.

Create A No-Go List

This tip is about how to make high-quality friends as much as how to avoid people you’re not compatible with.

There are lifestyles or beliefs that rub you the wrong way and that you don’t want in your friend.

Maybe they’re a heavy drug user, curse too much, or have contrasting values. Don’t waste time on these people. If you see these qualities in potential friends, it’s best to back off and move on to the next friend.

Dating Decoded

The skills you learn when meeting new friends are transferrable when you decide to meet new women.

If you’re ready to apply these newly acquired skills but need a bit more refining, we can help. We’ve been helping men for over a decade refine their dating skills and court their ideal partner.

To learn more book a 1-on-1 Zoom call with one of our coaches. We’ll talk about your dating goals before showing you how our program can help you achieve your goals.

Learn how our students have seen their romantic lives improve since enrolling.