If you have been following this site, you’ve likely picked up some great tips on building an epic online dating profile. An awesome profile gets you plenty of right swipes. But if you want to turn online connections into real life dates, you need to deliver some killer conversation. That’s why I’ve created this article on 9 Bumble conversation tips for guys.
Bumble, like Tinder, is a popular and free dating app. In the early days, Bumble stood out from its main competitor (Tinder) by positioning itself as an app for relationship-oriented singles. Conversely, Tinder has positioned itself as more of a hookup app.
Still, you might say Bumble started it all thanks to its “ladies first” approach.
Women Make the First Move
Bumble conversations tips for guys differ from certain other apps because of how messaging works.
On Bumble, women are required to make the first move. After you match with someone, the woman can choose to start a conversation in the messaging system. Until she does, you can’t message her directly even if you matched.
This makes things a bit unique. I’ve written several articles on icebreakers and opening lines to use in order to get the conversation flowing with a woman online. But if you’re using Bumble, the onus is on the woman when it comes to breaking the ice.
Don’t worry. This doesn’t have to throw off your game. Take a look below for some in-depth Bumble convo tips:
Bumble Conversation Tips for Guys #1: Be Witty
Women love a man who can make them laugh. Even a little light teasing can create chemistry as long as you don’t get too sarcastic or mean.
Bumble provides the perfect opportunity for some flirtatious teasing. Why?
Women are generally not hunters when it comes to dating. Societal norms have not required them to come up with witty pickup lines and how-tos on approaching men at bars. If anything, women have had to practice their best shutdowns for those guys who either come on overly aggressive or just CAN’T get the hint.
For this reason, sometimes a woman’s first message leaves something to be desired. In our testing, we noticed that women don’t send very creative messages. Their messages are usually “hi” or “how’s it going?” With so little to go on, you may feel stumped on how to respond.
Using This to Your Advantage
When you haven’t gone through the trial-and-error that many guys face when trying to hook a woman with a great first impression, even the most fascinating woman can deliver a greeting that resembles the personality of a fat-free plain yogurt — and not even a GREEK, fat-free plain yogurt, just a boring old fat-free yogurt.
Remember that a lack of personality during an initial message doesn’t mean that the woman in question is actually boring; she simply hasn’t garnered the experience (and hasn’t been required to make certain efforts) that guys have.
Let’s say she sends you a boring, “Hi…”
You could write something like, “Try again :)” or “Is that the best opening line you can come up with? ;)”
Failure to be witty may leave you wondering why your Bumble match doesn’t message you back!
Tip #2: Be Direct
Another route to take when a woman’s first message on Bumble is boring is to ask her to get more creative with her first message. She may not always give a monosyllabic “hi” BUT there are several symptoms of a bad copy-and-paste job when it comes to the first message. Symptoms include:
- Getting your name wrong
- A long first message that reads like a job description (i.e., “Hi Eric, my name’s Samantha. I read your profile and you seem like an interesting guy. My interests include XYZ and I am looking for…” etc.)
If that happens, say something like this:
You: Is that the best copy/paste job you can do :)?
Again, by using a smiley face you’re being direct without being a jerk. Being direct also shows that you have confidence, which is something that women LOVE and will flock to.
Why Do Women Like it When a Man is Direct?
A direct man is someone who is secure in himself and knows what he wants. And that type of confidence can be sexier than a set of six-pack abs when you’re a woman on Bumble (or in the general public, really).
According to Psychology Today, a confident man is one who has found the “golden mean” between low self-esteem and arrogance.
When many self-proclaimed “nice guys” respond to a woman’s first message only to get crickets in return, they may assume that this is just another woman looking for an agro “bad boy.”
The truth is that us ladies DON’T want a jerk — at least not those of us that are searching for and ready to be in a mature, long-term relationship. Sometimes women will get initially drawn into a jerk due to the charm and confidence they exude.
Conversely, women may reject guys who are nice, but also exude a lot of shyness and low self-esteem. This isn’t a woman being mean, but simply wanting someone who is secure with himself, someone who knows what he wants and is willing to pursue it.
Tip #3: Don’t Send a Boring Response
Don’t respond to her boring opener with more boringness.
If she sends you a simple “hi,” here are some other witty responses you can send to captivate her, in spite of her monosyllabic greeting:
- “We did it!”
- “You had me at ‘hi.’”
- “Hi! Phew, now that we finally got THAT out of the way, let’s get down to business: Does your typical Monday evening routine include happy hour, yoga, or Netflixing? Personally, I prefer all three at the same time.”
Bumble also gives you the option of sending GIFs in lieu of, or to accompany, your text responses, which can be a great way to break the ice. For example, if she says “Hi,” you can respond with something like this.
This can get her laughing and help her to loosen up.
Tip #4: Stay Positive and Upbeat
Again, this is something I recommend across the board when it comes to Bumble conversation tips for guys, Bumble profile tips or any other facet of online dating.
One way to kill the initial attraction is by being negative. Venturing into unknown territory can be uncomfortable for anyone. And when online dating is said unknown territory, it can be easy to revert to complaining.
Scientific research shows that complaining is bad for your brain and your overall health. And a woman will likely respond in kind. By showcasing your humor and positivity, you are taking the awkwardness out of the situation and opening the door to better communication and the likelihood of scoring a date.
Tip #5: Hone in on Shared Interests
Building trust and rapport is the first step in building a healthy relationship. You can do this by honing in on shared interests. Review her profile and check out what her passions are or musical interests. If she doesn’t have much listed in her bio, you can ask about something she’s doing in a photo, like yoga or art.
This will make you stand out from other guys who give her monosyllabic answers and creates a connection between you.
Tip #6: Don’t Wait Long Before Asking Her Out
You don’t want to spend an exorbitant amount of time chatting away online. Allow a few lines of dialogue and then ask her out on a compelling date that uses a TDL.
What is a TDL?
A TDL is an acronym that stands for time, date and location. It’s what we here at EmLovz use to refer to a date’s call-to-action. A lot of guys are lazy when they ask women out and suggest something like “getting coffee” or “grabbing a drink” with no clear plan in mind.
When you use a TDL, you choose a compelling date idea (compelling meaning that you introduce her to a new experience based on shared interests) that has a clear schedule.
For example, let’s say that the girl you’re asking out is obsessed with marine biology and you find out there’s a rare leopard shark exhibit at your local aquarium on Saturday. You could send her this type of message:
“So I know that you’re into marine biology. There’s a really cool rare leopard art exhibit at the aquarium this Saturday. How would you like to go with me at 1pm?”
Using a TDL is going to make it much more likely that a girl will agree to a date with you. Moreover, she’s going to be impressed that you took the time to plan such a compelling date.
Tip #7: Moving Forward, Use This Dating Blueprint
Nabbing the first date is just the beginning. If you want to crush your goals in the dating world, you need to be on your A-game. The first three dates are particularly crucial and can determine whether or not you want to pursue a serious, long-term relationship with someone.
But don’t worry, you don’t have to break the bank when it comes to sweeping a girl off her feet during the first three dates. That’s why I created this failproof dating blueprint to help you pace the dates appropriately:
- First Date: It should be something that is less than an hour and does not exceed $15. Here’s a recent article I wrote for some more First Date Tips for Men.
- Second Date: This date should be active and free. Consider something like hiking or visiting a museum. Eventbrite is also a great place to find free events.
- Third Date: This is the date where you can have a nice, intimate dinner. The third date is often when you will end up sealing the deal.
Tip #8: Don’t Rely Solely on Bumble
Even if these Bumble conversation tips work well for you, it’s important that Bumble remains only one of many tools in your dating arsenal. I always recommend that my clients download at least a few different dating apps when getting out there in the dating world.
Moreover, don’t rely solely on the internet when you’re looking to reach your dating goals. There are several other places you can meet women, like through mutual friends, by joining co-ed sports leagues, and at events that cater to your interests.
Giving yourself plenty of options allows you to go on dates with multiple women at the same time. This dating strategy is known as MegaDating.
What is MegaDating
MegaDating is a dating process that involves going on dates with several different women at the same time in order to diffuse energy by keeping your social calendar full.
During my 100-date experiment, I used this as my main dating strategy. It helped me find a long-term, compatible partner. Guess what? It can do the same for you!
MegaDating works because it shows you that there are truly plenty of fish in the sea. This prevents you from chasing after women, getting hung up on the idea of “the one,” and settling for the mediocre.
- Lessens the pain of rejection
- Reduces anxiety
- Increases confidence
- Makes you more attractive because it stimulates an unconscious sense of competition in women
Bumble Conversation Tips for Guys and Beyond
Ready to hit your dating goals on Bumble and beyond? Head over to my calendar and book a new 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. During our session, we will create an action plan to help you overcome your specific dating roadblocks and crush your goals.
If you need specific help with online dating, I invite you to check out my Dating Profile Services. These services will quickly improve the number of responses to your outgoing messages, number of incoming messages you receive, your overall profile views, and more.
I’ve spent years helping men all around the world find lasting love. I look forward to doing the same for you!