Dating While Living at Home? Here’s How to Make the Best of It
COVID-19 has a way of forcing millenials into a kind of pandemic-encouraged Benjamin Button situation.
The older you get, the more likely you are to see yourself regress towards a younger version of yourself.
For many millions of young adults, this regression takes shape in the form of moving back in with their parents. Back in July, CNBC reported that 52% of millennials are now living with their folks. That’s the highest percentage of young adults cohabitating with their parents since 1940.
Students are no longer in school, new grads are entering the worst job market in years, and those with jobs have either recently been laid off or have found their hours significantly reduced.
26.6 million is how many adults are now eating dinner at their childhood dinner table every night.
To be clear, the migration back to the childhood bedroom has been a trend since the 60s. Every decade sees the percentage of young adults moving back home rise. In 2019 that number was 44%, in February of 2020 it was 47%. The pandemic has pushed that number to 52%.
You can rightly claim the situation is rightly, but if the majority of young Americans are in the same boat, is it really that bad?
That’s what we’ll explore in this article.
Let’s first take a look at some of the pros and cons of dating while living at home.
Dating While Living at Home: The Pros
It’s not all doom and happy tears when you’re living next to Mom and Dad.
Here are some positives of crawling up in the same twin-size bed you slept in as a 13-year-old.
You Can Actually Afford A Dinner Date
Sure you moved home for financial reasons but that doesn’t mean you’re not incapable of taking a woman out. You packed up and moved back home to save money. Part of those savings are meant to be spent on romance. Use what you’ve saved to take her on a fancy dinner date. That being said, just because you’re not saving money doesn’t mean you need to immediately shower her with ritzy dinners.
Instead, make her earn it.
First dates should be brief (under one hour) and require less than $10. Second dates should be active and 100% free. If she makes it all the way to a third date, you know she’s worth whisking away to a sumptuous dinner.
You’re Not the Only Millennial Living at Home
You’re not an outlier, rather you’re the norm.
She knows you’re probably living at home and considering she’s in the same boat she won’t mind that you’re shacking up with your folks. Use this situation to your advantage but accepting the dynamic and voicing the obvious early on. Acknowledge the situation, commiserate together, and then quickly form a bond based on your shared position.
As high a percentage of young adults are living at home as there was during the Great Depression (if not higher). There’s no shame in confronting the same fate that over 25 million other young adults are navigating through as well.
You Know The Ropes
This is your home turf. You know the dating spots, the nature spots, where to get ice cream late at night, and where the best place to watch the sunset is. You’ve kind of got home-court advantage.
Be Positive – This Will Set You Apart
When your group of friends arrives at the show too late and isn’t allowed in, are you the one to sulk for the rest of the night, or are you the dude that calls an audible that lifts group spirit?
Being positive nowadays isn’t easy.
We’re in a recession, global warming is wreaking havoc, and COVID-19 isn’t being eradicated any time soon. Making the most out of a crap situation is an extremely attractive trait nowadays. It’s kind of like being the one guy with hair while being surrounded by bald dudes.
She wants a man that will gleefully continue to live his life in the face of such chaos.
Dating While Living at Home: The Cons
There’s a reason we move out of our parents’ house… sometimes there’s more than one reason.
Not Being Able to Bring Your Babe Home with Any Privacy
The early stages of dating are always the most delicate.
There’s no better way to ruin it all than by bringing a woman you only just started dating to your parent’s house. Clearly, the goal isn’t to introduce her — you’ve only been on two dates — rather you just want some alone time. That may prove nearly impossible considering your parents haven’t left the house for ages due to COVID-19.
Not to mention that always going out will either get costly or boring. There are only so many things you can do outside the home in the midst of a pandemic in the middle of winter.
Sex is Almost Impossible at Your Place
If we were playing Family Feud and were asked to name the biggest con of living at home with your parents, not being able to get buns at home would surely be the top answer.
Having sex knowing that your parents are asleep downstairs — or next door — is a tough proposition. It’s kind of a mood killer to know that you’ll have to tone down your lovemaking for fear of waking your mother.
Your Competition Has a Place to Take Her Home
Us women have sexual needs too.
And hey, if they’re not being fulfilled by our number 1 option, we’ll get the satisfied by another.
Just because she likes you doesn’t mean she won’t find some dude to bone on Tinder before your next date.
The Not-Yet-a-Man Stigma
Naturally, she’ll feel a bit embarrassed when she tells her friends that the guy she’s been seeing doesn’t have an apartment to himself. Even though everyone knows the situation there’s still a manly expectation that she and her friends have of you. The expectation is that you will have moved out of your parents’ house, will have a job and a car that doesn’t break down every other week.
Should you not rise to her expectation the relationship may not last all that long.
How to Make the Best of It And Overcome Her Objections
This is the situation. You can either make the best of it, or go sexless like the 28% of those aged 18-30 did in 2018.
There are ways to address the cons we mentioned previously. You’ll have to confront them and manage through the downside of dating while living at home if desire an even mildly successful dating life.
Get A Hotel or Airbnb
Your biggest issue is that you can’t have sex in your parents’ house.
The way around this is by renting a hotel or Airbnb.
To not come off sleazy, invite her on a weekend trip that allows you two to do something different while also presenting the option of sex.
If you two are on the same page and know having sex at either person’s house is impossible then there’s no need to go away to get a place together. Hell, if that’s the case you can also ask a friend to use his place while he’s away. Just be sure to wash the sheets before he gets back.
The pandemic has thrown many of us off our games. Some are considering a career change, others are looking to move permanently, while many others are even going back to school.
Be honest about your situation. Your honesty will show her that you’re dedicated to moving out and away ASAP, you just need a little time to figure things out. If she knows you’re at home on a finite basis she’s more likely to invest in you.
Tell her that your life is in flux and that the situation is temporary. This will address any fear she may have that your life is stagnant and not going anywhere.
If You’re a F.I.R.E Movement Proponent, Tell Her That Right Away
Financial independence, retire early.
That’s what F.I.R.E. stands for.
Saving money has been a happy byproduct of the pandemic.
The U.S. personal saving rate jumped in April to 32.2%. Even though saving money isn’t exactly sexy, it’s what many young adults living at home are doing nowadays. Even if you’re not a diehard proponent of F.I.R.E. stressing that your finances are important and that saving money, not going broke, was the chief reason you moved home will surely win a second or third date.
Continue to waylay her fears by ensuring her that this is all temporary. Like COVID-19 it may not one day magically disappear, but it will eventually come to pass.
In the meantime keep fighting against the nagging desire to curl up in your bed and stay inside. Stand out by saddling life and riding it like you’ve got nothing to lose.
It’s Not the End of the World
What’s most important is that you’re working towards an achievable — and ideally short term — goal. Show her this and you’re guaranteed to get another date.
But hey, dating while living at home can be a major obstacle.
As a dating coach, trust me, I get it.
But an obstacle doesn’t mean defeat, it just means you’ve got something that needs addressing.
It’s understandable that you’re fearful of a lack of dating prospects. But hey, on the other side of fear is magic.
To help get to that magic, consult with me, a dating maven.
I’ve turned men in all kinds of positions into dating experts.
Book a 1-on-1 New Client Zoom session with me or one of my other coaches to turn your dating fortunes around. Together we’ll create a dating blueprint that works for you. When we team up, you’ll learn how to get the most out of online dating, how to meet women IRL even nowadays, how to use a TDL to score a date, how to find a woman of merit that you can call your girlfriend, and lastly we’ll determine if my coaching or matchmaking programs could be right for you!